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[Stella_Omega]

I'm betting that I'm one of the people that might seem scary, but I want to thank you for your sense of compassion, piddlyass.

I think that having our noses all up in each others' business is a very human trait-- but the judgmental attitudes are horrible.

 

[stickygirl]

Hi Stickygirl,

Hi

I've read some of this thread, not all I admit. I suppose I have something to say rather than something to ask. I don't know any Transgender people, so, apart from what I have read or watched, I don't know what their struggles are like. The issue that I have trouble reconciling is why it is an issue for the world at large. I'm not anti-activist, that isn't what I am hinting at. Discrimination needs to be addressed. I don't think a person being Transgender, gay, lesbian or straight is my business unless I am in a relationship with that person. I'm happy for people transitioning. I could be wrong, but, I think it's great that just maybe they are on the path to being more content with themselves and their lives. I'm troubled by an apparent lack of compassion, empathy and understanding.

Yet there it is - as Stella suggested: compassion is the exception, not the rule in this world.

I have one personal thought I hope isn't crude or otherwise unacceptable. I don't think the plumbing matters, just the person.
You will notice I don't post very often. I am mostly afraid of it. I've learned people can be quite cruel on the internet at times. If I have said anything that you find offensive, please say so. It certainly wasn't my intent.

That's a good question and thank you for posting! I'll do my bumbling best to answer.

I read a comment to a news article recently that kinda nailed that question for me. If you were to ask any cis-gender man or woman about their genitals, and said to them "are you happy with them or would you like to wake up with a penis instead of a vagina - permanently". Apart from the obvious 'wouldn't it be fun to try' thought, cis-folk will reply "No, actually, I kinda like things how they are - that's my penis/vagina". So why shouldn't a transgender person have that sense of rightness or wrongness about their genitals?

If we were spirit-only beings, able to flit where ever we want and meet whoever, then the question of gender would become irrelevant. Even here on Lit, it's sometimes impossible to tell if a person is the gender they claim to be, yet folks get very hot under the collar if they think they're being duped. Why should that be? Is it because people don't like being lied to? Or that they might inadvertently reveal details about themselves they wouldn't casually tell someone of the opposite sex? We haven't even seen them, yet the offense is very real. So it is with transgender folk: they face real anger when someone misreads them.

I don't know what happens after we die - maybe we do become flitty beings, partying away in some other dimension, but being 'of this world', being made of clay and water is what we are. We cannot ignore the physical, no matter how much we aspire to the spiritual and intellectual.

I had the weirdest feeling every day, every hour of every day, that my penis did not belong. Thanks to the brilliance of my surgeon, I've had it changed from a hangy-out thing to pokey-in thing. I can never truly change my gender - I will always be a trans woman, but the surgery has changed me so much. Now I have the happiest feeling every hour, every day that I have a vagina and, since the technology is there, don't I deserve to have made that choice?

Sorry it took me so long to bumble through an answer, but if you were standing in front of me, you'd see the smile and not have to ask

 

[StacyTG]

*wipes away tears*

Sticky, I love you sis. You're an inspiration.

*big giant hugs*

 

[piddlyass]

I'm betting that I'm one of the people that might seem scary, but I want to thank you for your sense of compassion, piddlyass.

I think that having our noses all up in each others' business is a very human trait-- but the judgmental attitudes are horrible.

Hello Stella,
I am trying this posting quote thing so pardon me if I get it wrong. (I think I type below the quote??)
You're welcome. It's just a part of what makes me, me. It just frustrates me to see some of the terrible things that have happened to people because of gender, sexual preference, trying to be happy.
Perhaps this will better illustrate one of my thoughts. A woman walks up to a man and asks him out. If he isn't interested he can say, "no thank you", and go about his day. Why doesn't this happen in another instance? A guy approaches a guy and ask him out. Instead of just, no thank you, it usually ends up as, get away (insert filth).
I apologize for venting some of my frustration with society on you. I hope you have a good day.

 

[piddlyass]

Stickygirl,
I don't think you bumbled that response. I appreciate you taking the time and applying the energy to answer in such a manner. I can't say succinct and I won't say elaborate because that might imply you added too much. It was genuine and perfect. Thank you. I hope you have a good day.
-R

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Hi


, but if you were standing in front of me, you'd see the smile and not have to ask

Sticky, you just gave me my smile. Your words are so nice to hear through my old ears. I am so happy for you and wish you smiles every day until the end of time.

 

[stickygirl]

Blurtsmile
I can cross my legs now Haven't been able to do that comfortably since I was about 16

 

[warl0ck1]

Blurtsmile
I can cross my legs now Haven't been able to do that comfortably since I was about 16

+1 lol the little things. you made me smile today Sticky. I love you my friend.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Blurtsmile
I can cross my legs now Haven't been able to do that comfortably since I was about 16

So many times I wanna ask the glaring question that your remarks prompt...but Imma gonna be polite.

So I have a pressing question to ask.

How are you feeling down there? No graphic details, please.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Blurtsmile
I can cross my legs now Haven't been able to do that comfortably since I was about 16

Aw! Yay

 

[may_I_please]

Now I have the happiest feeling every hour, every day that I have a vagina and, since the technology is there, don't I deserve to have made that choice?

Sorry it took me so long to bumble through an answer, but if you were standing in front of me, you'd see the smile and not have to ask

I love this part of your answer. It made me beam. Your eloquence and openness has always been amazing sticky ...and I'm so pleased you can cross your legs

 

[funluvinaj]

Yay for a smiling Sticky and for being able to cross your legs!

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks all - you're very kind to me and it is much appreciated xx

Yea - the little things! I suppose it's like that saying 'take care of the pennies and the pounds take care of themselves' ( substitute cents and dollars! ) I mean the big op was out of my hands because Bam! - you wake up and OMG it's done - now give me drugs! But looking back over my transition it's things like the softness of my skin and features from hormones, being able to choose clothes that are pretty or sexy, even seeing Miss on letters still makes me happy - or sometimes when you overhear people referring to me as 'she' 'her' 'that girl' ... even after all this time, that affirmation means something to me. Perhaps I will always be conscious of that? Perhaps that's not a bad thing? ( sorry those are not very good examples but you know what I mean )

Ok Brad - you asked about how it feels and I promise, no icky detail! Maybe an update on the badger is due? The major part of the bruising has gone, though I can see where the deepest colours were and some of the swelling still needs to settle down. If I touch some bits they are still pretty sensitive and generally there is a kind of feeling that tissue is knitting together - you get weird little ticks or a sharp pinprick and that can be either deep inside or around my crotch. I think it's the nerves sorting themselves out.
I still have my x4 a day routine with Mr Wickham. That has stopped being sharp-pain and is becoming more 'just-weird'.
Do you want to know about pee Brad? Nah - maybe not!!

Loving that the weather is so early autumn and we've had a sunny week. When you know winter is weeks away, these days of autumn light are especially precious.

 

[dutchrain]

Sticky, that is wonderful news!

4 times "just-weird" is an awesome lot better than 4 times "ai-ai". Now lets see, it took you only about three weeks to get to this point! That is marvelous, dear, it shows your character and the strength you have.

You are even enjoying crossing your legs again.

I think it isn't a bad thing at all to find pleasure in 'small' things. After all it are the small things we encounter each day which make us "us".

Add an apple to the strawberries next time you make jam. It won't change the taste and this makes it an even better source of pectin than lemon juice.

 

[stickygirl]

You're kidding me? Is that true about the apple? Sheesh! Oh well, it'll just have to be runny 2014 jam but I'll defo try that in future.

Yup Mr Wickham will be replaced by Mr Bingley in a couple of weeks. We're going for depth and Mr Bingley is quite tall

 

[dutchrain]

You're kidding me? Is that true about the apple? Sheesh! Oh well, it'll just have to be runny 2014 jam but I'll defo try that in future.

Yup Mr Wickham will be replaced by Mr Bingley in a couple of weeks. We're going for depth and Mr Bingley is quite tall

*grins* Nope, I am not kidding you, my mom and my grannies, and my aunts and my great aunts all do it.

Runny jam is a great sauce on bread-and-butter pudding, or any sweet pudding for that matter. It is lovely on vanilla ice cream too. Pour some over a rice pudding ... You'll love it! The thick and sticky sauce will slowly run over the hot and steamy, haphazardly formed heap on your plate.

Well, Mr Bingley won't be as bothersome as Mr Wickham, I think.

 

[Bramblethorn]

You're kidding me? Is that true about the apple? Sheesh! Oh well, it'll just have to be runny 2014 jam but I'll defo try that in future.

Yup Mr Wickham will be replaced by Mr Bingley in a couple of weeks. We're going for depth and Mr Bingley is quite tall

Yeah, apples have a lot of pectin in them. One of my first-aid mentors used to recommend small slices of apple for people with upset stomachs - pectin's also good for settling the tum, although some people are intolerant of it.

 

[dutchrain]

Yeah, apples have a lot of pectin in them. One of my first-aid mentors used to recommend small slices of apple for people with upset stomachs - pectin's also good for settling the tum, although some people are intolerant of it.

I always give (and eat myself if necessary) some grated apple. Works even better than thin slices.

 

[stickygirl]

Rats… and badgers
I've just discovered that I should have been using Mr Bingley all last week. I just happened to see a reference on a blog, that someone else had started using their bigger sizes within two weeks, so I checked all my paperwork and then sent an email to the surgeon's office. Somehow, something got lost in translation and yes I need to step up straight away. It's really annoying, because I was trying to do everything properly but at least I spotted it now rather than later. I must not fret over this - it'll be fine… fuck fuck fuck

 

[Bramblethorn]

Rats… and badgers
I've just discovered that I should have been using Mr Bingley all last week. I just happened to see a reference on a blog, that someone else had started using their bigger sizes within two weeks, so I checked all my paperwork and then sent an email to the surgeon's office. Somehow, something got lost in translation and yes I need to step up straight away. It's really annoying, because I was trying to do everything properly but at least I spotted it now rather than later. I must not fret over this - it'll be fine… fuck fuck fuck

You'll be fine. Eliza Bennett took a whole book to work up to Mr. Darcy and it still ended happily.

 

[haurni]

Yup Mr Wickham will be replaced by Mr Bingley in a couple of weeks. We're going for depth and Mr Bingley is quite tall

Here's another game you can play with Misters Darcy, Wickham and Bingley.

http://www.marryingmrdarcy.com/

(Yes, I've played it. Yes, it's fun. )

 

[stickygirl]

Here's another game you can play with Misters Darcy, Wickham and Bingley.

http://www.marryingmrdarcy.com/

(Yes, I've played it. Yes, it's fun. )

Well whodafuckin believed it?! Jane Austen must be turning in her urn.... but on the other hand, she was TOTALLY obsessed with wealth and position, so maybe she'd give it a go?
I was a bit thrown by the timetable screw up but that's maybe me being perfectionist? I'm still annoyed that I didn't check into it sooner but hey. Can't say any of this is pain free and the time it all takes is a drag ( novelty completely worn off now ... ) Patience girl, patience

 

[Bramblethorn]

Well whodafuckin believed it?! Jane Austen must be turning in her urn.... but on the other hand, she was TOTALLY obsessed with wealth and position, so maybe she'd give it a go?

She had reason. One of the things that doesn't translate well in modern adaptations like Bridget Jones is that the options for unmarried women (or badly-married women) were pretty dismal. If you were lucky you might be able to live off the charity of relatives, or slide down the social ladder and get a position as a governess. If not, well... things could get pretty bad. A lot of her work can be read as "how do I achieve some sort of self-respect and happiness when marriage is the only reliable way to put food on the table?"

 

[dutchrain]

Rats… and badgers
I've just discovered that I should have been using Mr Bingley all last week. I just happened to see a reference on a blog, that someone else had started using their bigger sizes within two weeks, so I checked all my paperwork and then sent an email to the surgeon's office. Somehow, something got lost in translation and yes I need to step up straight away. It's really annoying, because I was trying to do everything properly but at least I spotted it now rather than later. I must not fret over this - it'll be fine… fuck fuck fuck

You'll be fine, like Bramblethorn said. You did great, you only skipped Mr Wickham a few times while traveling. So now it is goodbye Mr Wickham, hello Mr Bingley!


Live was a lot 'easier' for women with low positions on the social ladder. They hadn't much to lose if the married an 'equal', women like Eliza Bennet had much more to worry about in that aspect.

 

[poppadog]

Hi Sticky, I haven't been on the site much over the past few weeks/months so I am sorry I wasn't able to offer my support during your op/early recovery phase.

So pleased to hear that you are now what you want to be and I am sure that the added confidence of 'being a real girl' (So to speak) will show in every aspect of your life. At least when the bruising subsides!

I have always tried to avoid putting people into pigeon holes and have always encouraged my kids to not be sheep although they assure me it doesn't pay to be different. I am constantly pissed off with the fact that bigotry still exists anywhere in the world and don't get me started on Female mutilation.

Sorry, I suppose my point really is that you don't need a vagina or a dick (Lol originally typed duck!!) to be a bigot. They just are, irrespective of their sexuality, and their opinions are worth fuck all.

So, smile and the world smiles with you frown and that will be all you see.

One point that confuses me slightly is this Mr Bingley stuff, sorry haven't had time to read the whole post, but I do know a Mr Bradford who would be willing to assist in your recuperation.

My final point is that I am proud to know you, even if it is on a site full of sex maniacs/perverts and I want you to know that every time you meet someone who makes you feel bad about yourself I will be looking over your shoulder and flicking them the V's! (Phew, sent punctuation on holiday for the last sentence!)

Oh and Badger!!! You do know they are culling Badgers as we speak don't you? Don't forget Big B is watching at all times. Maybe we should have a poll for a new name??

May I suggest Fee Fee?

Keep smiling!