Need advice from both males and females

[molder169]

I'll try to keep it short but I doubt it will work out that way.

I was recently broken up with. I was hurt and still am hurt but I'm facing a problem. As much as I love/love her I'm an extremly sexual person. I love it and never had any complaints and always get calls back w/e. My question is this. I need to have sex but I have a really hard time talking to females either in school, or out at the bars playing music w/e. I don't have a clue what to say. And if I do get passed that I don't know how to have sex without haveingba relationship. Yeah friends with benefits. Call me shallow if you want but I know myself. I just can't handle being in a relationship. I know this is kind of vague but I'll keep an eye on this thread and answer/ask more questions.

Thanks,

 

[mike_confident]

It's very simple, you just have to understand the difference between what a guy/girl look for in a conversation.

Guys focus on the object of affection in a conversation.
Girls focus on the interaction of affection in a conversation.

This is true for almost anything you talk about, you just have to tailor your delivery to your audience.

Example:
If you tell your buddies about an engine replacement you did with your dad over the weekend on an old Mustang. Your buddies will want to know the make and year of the car, how many horse power it has, what color, is it a convertible, what were the upgrades to the engine, etc.

You can tell that same story to a girl, but she'll be more interested in your relationship with your father, how he taught you everything you know about cars, how share a love for mustangs together, etc.

If you understand the difference here, you can take almost any conversation you'd have with your buddies and share it with a girl.

 

[fire_breeze]

I'll try to keep it short but I doubt it will work out that way.

I was recently broken up with. I was hurt and still am hurt but I'm facing a problem. As much as I love/love her I'm an extremly sexual person. I love it and never had any complaints and always get calls back w/e. My question is this. I need to have sex but I have a really hard time talking to females either in school, or out at the bars playing music w/e. I don't have a clue what to say. And if I do get passed that I don't know how to have sex without haveingba relationship. Yeah friends with benefits. Call me shallow if you want but I know myself. I just can't handle being in a relationship. I know this is kind of vague but I'll keep an eye on this thread and answer/ask more questions.

Thanks,

Welcome

I am sorry to hear about your breakup.

Technically, you do not need sex. You need to breathe eat, drink, sleep, stay warm and expel the contents of your stomach. You will survive without sex. Yes, I understand being a very sexual person; I think most people will get that. But you do not need sex to survive.

That said, be very careful about getting involved in an emotionally fragile state. A FWB may not have the emotional entanglements of a romantic/intimate relationship, but it is still a relationship nonetheless. You still owe whoever you decide to sleep with honesty and respect. Additionally, if you were never in a FWB relationship, then this might not be a good time for you to start one. You may get attached. She may get attached. Things could get very ugly very fast. The best thing is wait until you get over your initial relationship, given yourself time to mourn, and then when you are ready to move on, go for it. As you said, you still love your former partner, and this strikes me as a recipe for potential heartache.

I am just pointing out a few things. If you want to fuck half the city, go for it. But remember why you are doing it, and to ensure that you and your partner are both safe and on the same level. But I do think that you owe it to yourself to get over your hurt before you transfer that hurt to an unsuspecting partner.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Plenty of pussy for sale out there.

 

[radioz66]

You don't need sex Sure it makes us feel really good.
Long story short God called my girlfriend home five years ago at 37 we had a wonderful relation ship.
I have known her scene 18 years old she would have been 42 this past sept 2nd.
Next when after my girl passed before my birthday 9/24/2009 I feel she spoke to god an angel was sent from heaven and sure I was her first
and well it has been 4 years scene we made love but I am alright with this we get along awesome with no sex I do not know but were happy.

 

[radioz66]

Plenty of pussy for sale out there.

Yes agreed but with or with out protection you don't know what you'll catch.
This is my humble opinion.

 

[Doog_kuron]

I'll try to keep it short but I doubt it will work out that way.

I was recently broken up with. I was hurt and still am hurt but I'm facing a problem. As much as I love/love her I'm an extremly sexual person. I love it and never had any complaints and always get calls back w/e. My question is this. I need to have sex but I have a really hard time talking to females either in school, or out at the bars playing music w/e. I don't have a clue what to say. And if I do get passed that I don't know how to have sex without haveingba relationship. Yeah friends with benefits. Call me shallow if you want but I know myself. I just can't handle being in a relationship. I know this is kind of vague but I'll keep an eye on this thread and answer/ask more questions.

Thanks,

Sympathies on the your recent relationship woes. Think pretty much all of us have been there!

As for the desire to have sex, well I am assuming it's more a case of you having a high sex drive. In which case you'll have wanted some action yesterday. Of course if you can hardly look a girl in the eye let alone broach a topic of friends with benefits, well, I think your in a spot of bother! There isn't a secret password you can utter or a special handshake for a girl to understand exactly what your after, and if there is, I really ought to learn it!

Which means taking the time to overcome your shyness and mastering the power of small talk, not exactly a five minute lesson OR you pay for the privilege.

Of course there are a few like minded souls scattered about these hallowed forums, so you could always post an advert. If you do that make sure you sell yourself, so fast sports car, luxury apartment in the city, expensive restaurants, hung like a donkey (giraffe?) ya know, that kinda thing

 

[amofiga]

Break ups are hard and probably more so when you're young. When I was in high school and even in college, I was devistated over breaking up. As I got older and older, I became much more philosophical about it. Somehow, there is ALWAYS another out there to replace the one you broke up with. In fact, someday, you may find that the break up was good because you meet someone better. The hard part is not feeling sorry for yourself and lonely and lost when you break up. Try to look at it as an opportunity to meet other people and the reason that you may be having trouble conversing with new women is that you are trying way too hard. You're expecting every woman you meet to be attracted to you. Not going to happen. Just go with it, talk without being phoney. As questions rather than talk to. People feel comfortable when they talk about themselves. Get women to talk about themselves and they believe you're interested in them rather than trying to tell them all about you and sound like a dick.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Yes agreed but with or with out protection you don't know what you'll catch.
This is my humble opinion.

I recall a teacher I slept with, promised me she used rubbers with every married man but me (she liked married men). So she caught the clap and I didn't.

 

[TROLLISH]

Women are stupid. Have some confidence, and act like you are doing them a favor by talking to them. When you have her on the hook, ignore her for about a week. After that give her the old pump and dump. Call her about a week later.. Boom friends with bennies.

 

[Athalia]

What sort of signals are you sending out regarding a relationship? If you're dangling commitment just to get laid, the breakups are of course going to be harder, because of the breach of trust. On the other hand, if you make it clear that you're looking for short-term hookups, you'll probably find others who are in the same boat. So honesty really is the best policy, particularly if your pool of partners is limited to a single group, because no story gets around like a story of "He done her wrong" and vice versa.