New to Bondage -- What should we put in our tool kit?

[Sweetbunnybunny]

(breathes deeply and starts typing)

oh my, this is a new thing for me -- I've never posted here before. I stumbled into these boards a few days ago as my husband and I have have been exploring bondage and some very light pain play. We are quickly finding that tying me up with a scarf is insufficient as as restraint system, and know we need something more, um, secure. We have also been talking a lot about our fantasies of where this could go, and it is very, very exciting.

I was hoping some more experienced users would share what their must-haves are for a couple that is new to BDSM play? So far we are experimenting with me as the sub, some spanking, penetration with non-traditional items, easing into anal (for both), and sensory deprivation.

OK, hitting "submit" before I lose my courage!

 

[Mistangelique]

(breathes deeply and starts typing)

OK, hitting "submit" before I lose my courage!

Nothing to be afraid of! The people here are great! I love having a place I can feel safe exploring my sexuality and fantasies!

Yes! If you want bound, you need more than a scarf! When our novelty cuffs broke, boy and I made our own cuffs and restraint system out of upholstery vinyl and some hardware from Home Depot. Total cost was about $20 I would gladly show you and explain what we did, but really the possibilities are endless.

Other than that, you just need some ropes, clips, etc, and whatever toys you may like! We use a blindfold, gag with interchangeable mouthpieces, a butt plug, nipple clamps, a vibrating bullet...

It's really whatever you like! I'm new to this too, but feel free to message me if you'd like to talk!

Have fun and be safe! Always keep scissors around if you start rope play!

-<3-
Mist
www.bound-and-determined.tumblr.com

 

[Sweetbunnybunny]

Nothing to be afraid of! The people here are

Have fun and be safe! Always keep scissors around if you start rope play!

-<3-
Mist
www.bound-and-determined.tumblr.com

And this, right here, is why I am posting! lol -- good point, and it hadn't occurred to me that scissors might come in handy at some point!

I just checked out your tumblr and followed the link to the xeromag site -- looks like a really good resource.

I've had these impulses for a long time, but not talked about them until very recently. I've been so grateful that my husband is happy and excited to go along with me. My sex drive, after two kids (the second of which was very difficult to conceive), had never been so low. Since opening up about these urges, I've been constantly aroused -- as in 24/7, ever since, and can't get enough.

 

[twister947]

A few appropriately sized pet collars with quick release buckles and some double ended snaps, and you're in business. No knots to learn.

 

[Mistangelique]

And this, right here, is why I am posting! lol -- good point, and it hadn't occurred to me that scissors might come in handy at some point!

I just checked out your tumblr and followed the link to the xeromag site -- looks like a really good resource.

I've had these impulses for a long time, but not talked about them until very recently. I've been so grateful that my husband is happy and excited to go along with me. My sex drive, after two kids (the second of which was very difficult to conceive), had never been so low. Since opening up about these urges, I've been constantly aroused -- as in 24/7, ever since, and can't get enough.

Thanks for following! I just started my tumblr and I'm totally new to it AND bondage, so bare with me while I get it up n running! The links I shared are my favorites so far!

I didn't think of scissors until a kind Lit girl tipped me off, either.

It was the opposite for us. I'd never really paid any attention to BSDM stuff, but boy admitted he'd fantasized about rope play for as long as he could recall, but always felt like it was dirty, that there was something wrong with him, and he was never with anyone he felt comfortable even talking about it with, let alone actually acting on it. I'm so glad he opened up to me! I love it! We switch, and each spend a considerable amount of time in full body rope harnesses. We're working on learning wraps and other things, too. So many different things! I like the ropes because they're snug, like a constant hug, and they're so damn pretty! I have self-esteem issues, but I love my ropes because they make me feel sexy, and there really aren't many things that make me feel sexy. I know he likes them and loves me, and loves to see them on me. I feel super extra wanted.

 

[Mistangelique]

A few appropriately sized pet collars with quick release buckles and some double ended snaps, and you're in business. No knots to learn.

YES! A Basic pet collar and a leash or rope to lead a lover around makes for fantastic play! <3

 

[Sweetbunnybunny]

A few appropriately sized pet collars with quick release buckles and some double ended snaps, and you're in business. No knots to learn.

I can get my hands on the pet collars. Where does one get double ended snaps, and if you wanted to have the collars/cuffs attached to an anchor of some sort, how do you attach it?

 

[jennifer036]

handcuffs and a blind fold are the basics. you can also get soft rope at adult stores.

and a video camera.

 

[Mistangelique]

I can get my hands on the pet collars. Where does one get double ended snaps, and if you wanted to have the collars/cuffs attached to an anchor of some sort, how do you attach it?

I use carbiner clips, those oval shaped clasps with the screw thingy that opens and closes, and those double-ended hooks like they use on the seat belts to amusement park rides!

I suggest you go explore at your local hardware store and let your mind wander!

 

[twister947]

I use carbiner clips, those oval shaped clasps with the screw thingy that opens and closes, and those double-ended hooks like they use on the seat belts to amusement park rides!

I suggest you go explore at your local hardware store and let your mind wander!

This. Let your imagination run free.

You will never see Home Depot the same, again.

 

[GeoffA]

With a bit of imagination you can do amazing things with just shoelaces and toes. For example place the feet sole to sole and bind them together by winding the laces between the toes tying off at the end around the big toes. Use long laces and add thumbs to the mix and you can totally immobilise some poor soul leaving their bottom and genitals delightfully exposed and accessible to whatever their partner has in mind.

 

[KoPilot]

I got my new favorite collar from an etsy store much like this one:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SweetAndSaltyDog

Inexpensive, LOTS of styles to choose from, and nylon-backed collars are surprisingly comfortable compared to just leather or even faux fur.

Basic bondage doesn't require too much; velcro cuffs, anchor points (the legs of a chair, bed posts, refrigerator door handle, etc), and something to attach A to B.

Something like this is easy to manage and looks like tons of fun: https://www.etsy.com/listing/168607814/box-tie-bondage-harness-poly-webbing

And of course there are some very reasonably priced beginner's kits all over the place too: https://www.etsy.com/listing/188745093/8-piece-bondage-bdsm-kit-sale

Anyways, just do a search for "bondage" on the site and there's about 180+ pages of results. Have fun!

 

[Bramblethorn]

And this, right here, is why I am posting! lol -- good point, and it hadn't occurred to me that scissors might come in handy at some point!

Make sure they're strong enough to cut through whatever you're using for bondage. Also be aware that if somebody's tied tight, it may be hard to get sharp-pointed scissors under the rope/etc without hurting them. EMT shears are good for this: they have a little tab that makes it easier to work them under straps etc without causing injury, and you can get them pretty cheap.

 

[luvnmyboys]

I like the under the bed restraint kit, easily found on Amazon and rope. The kit is nice for a quick, easy way to tie down. If try that first and then rope if you like it and want some more adventure.

 

[Netzach]

Heavy Duty EMT shears are not only the first thing you should have if you're using anything you can cut in a pinch, they're probably the most useful thing I've ever gotten outside of a swiss army knife. I've got a pair in every room, just about. Don't pay more than like 8 bucks a pair.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Heavy Duty EMT shears are not only the first thing you should have if you're using anything you can cut in a pinch, they're probably the most useful thing I've ever gotten outside of a swiss army knife. I've got a pair in every room, just about. Don't pay more than like 8 bucks a pair.

Ayup. I've never used mine for a bondage emergency but they're wonderful for opening that annoyingly tough plastic packaging.

 

[Carlskitty]

Love honey is a site I just found seems to have lots of good stuff u can order to your door. X

 

[twister947]

I am almost sure that I remember seeing, years ago, a booklet on DIY toys, but I can't find it now. Am I losing my mind? Anybody else?

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Ebay is your friend!

Get a comfy set of wrist and ankle cuffs, a couple of lengths of rope.
Vibrator
Blindfold
if you feel like you want something hitty, start with a softer flogger. Something in suede or deerskin.

Stuff you probably have:

Clothes pegs
Wooden spoon or fish slice
Long fingernails
Ice or a cool spray
A belt
A fork
Mint dental floss

Imagination!

 

[MeekMe]

I'm tossing some safety knowledge into your tool kit.

Like Bramblethorn and Netzach said, EMT shears are very important. I also use mine to cut rope into new lengths. They cut through clean and easy. I would suggest reading up on safety for bondage. It seems like it's all fun and I think a lot of people believe it's pretty safe, but you should be aware of the dangers. Nerve damage being one. For impact play, learn where NOT to hit (if you're into that).

Here is some basic info on rope bondage (if you're going that route). Even with cuffs and such, some of the safety info still applies. This is a starting point and is in no way complete.

Please, please, please look into these things before you try them. I'm not saying you won't make mistakes, but have the knowledge to handle the situation should something go wrong.

 

[SeraphinaCD]

The velcro quick cuffs have long been one of the "quickie" go-to items in our arsenal and we've probably used them more than anything else we have. They come in several sizes and colors, since they clip together you can do a lot of variations with them, and they travel and store easily, and they're perfect for when you don't have time for an elaborate scene involving lots of rope, chains, or something more heavy duty. They're comfortable enough to be worn for very long periods too, and trust me, you cannot get out of them if your arms are behind you!

For rope, we've always found the soft nylon rope they sell at Wally world for mooring boats works VERY well and it's dirt cheap too. It's a nice size, looks great, and is very comfortable.

Several sites sell "bondage tape" which is very handy stuff because it only sticks to itself - keeping you from having tape glue all over you and avoiding any possible skin irritation - it works great and looks great, only down side is, you can't really use it but once and then it's so crinkled up you've gotta' use more, so it pays to have several rolls of the stuff around in several different colors.

There are plenty of websites to explore for shopping, we bought quite a bit from sub-shop.com through the years and they've just re-launched their site, then of course there's The Stockroom, an old standby but generally a little expensive. As others have said, eBay and Amazon can be your best friend these days on a lot of things, but just beware of really cheap stuff coming out of China - they use a lot of dyes over there which smell horrid (chemical bad, not good at all) and a lot of them aren't color fast. Having a pair of new black leather cuffs put on that smell like a chemical plant can give you a headache in a hurry, and it's even worse when you get up off the sheets and there's big black stains all over the place from where the dye rubbed off!

Sorry to ramble - don't be afraid and have fun - you are among friends here!

 

[Sweetbunnybunny]

Thank you to all who have posted responses -- I (and my husband) really appreciate it (wink wink). We've started to amass quite a collection of things that we had around the house and plan to do some shopping together this weekend. Imagination and creativity can be amazing things -- let's just say that after the other night, neither one of us will ever be looking at a banana the same way again.

I also really appreciate the links and info about safety. We've got EMT shears on the list, now.