submissive advice please

[lilymae17]

Hello all,

I am a submissive who has been so lucky and found the most wonderful Mistress who i am so happy and eager to please which i think i had been doing well up to now.

However, yesterday i took offense to something She said and i probably could have dealt with it in a better way than i did.

i have hardly slept and i feel so scared that She will no longer view me in the same way as before.

It is difficult because although i know for definite that i want to submit myself to Her always i am still an independent woman who has points of view and feelings which i don't know if i will be able to ignore.

i will really appreciate any advice anyone can give me on the best way forward and especially if any other submissives who may have had similar worries starting out could tell me how they managed it.

Thankyou

 

[SeraphinaCD]

A good domme doesn't want to destroy or take away your personality and your complete independence, they just want control over you at fortuitous and opportune times. In my book, you are certainly still allowed to have independent thought, you can still be yourself, but if you're entering into a 24/7 domme/sub relationship (a very difficult thing to maintain), then both of you need to be VERY familiar with the rules, the hard limits, and be in touch with each other's feelings, likes, dislikes, and personalities - otherwise, it simply will not work.

Sit down tonight and have a talk - get everything out in the open, your fears, concerns, etc. If she's a good domme, she will want you to do this - a good domme takes care of their sub and cares for their sub - mentally and physically.

Good luck, I wouldn't worry too much about it, and for pity's sake, if it's bothering you, talk about it, your domme needs to know if something's bothering you. Have fun!

 

[andy_name]

In my book

Where I can download your book?

 

[cmslt2326]

A good domme doesn't want to destroy or take away your personality and your complete independence, they just want control over you at fortuitous and opportune times. In my book, you are certainly still allowed to have independent thought, you can still be yourself, but if you're entering into a 24/7 domme/sub relationship (a very difficult thing to maintain), then both of you need to be VERY familiar with the rules, the hard limits, and be in touch with each other's feelings, likes, dislikes, and personalities - otherwise, it simply will not work.

Sit down tonight and have a talk - get everything out in the open, your fears, concerns, etc. If she's a good domme, she will want you to do this - a good domme takes care of their sub and cares for their sub - mentally and physically.

Good luck, I wouldn't worry too much about it, and for pity's sake, if it's bothering you, talk about it, your domme needs to know if something's bothering you. Have fun!

I agree with Seraphina...The key really is to communicate all of it...to set the limits and to talk about the way BOTH of you feel. A good domme will at least listen and consider your feelings/opinions. She may, however, override you...It is a bit of the Domme/Dom culture sometimes and her right as the Domme in the relationship...although each D/s relationship is unique to the parties involved.

 

[CutieMouse]

Hello all,

I am a submissive who has been so lucky and found the most wonderful Mistress who i am so happy and eager to please which i think i had been doing well up to now.

However, yesterday i took offense to something She said and i probably could have dealt with it in a better way than i did.

i have hardly slept and i feel so scared that She will no longer view me in the same way as before.

It is difficult because although i know for definite that i want to submit myself to Her always i am still an independent woman who has points of view and feelings which i don't know if i will be able to ignore.

i will really appreciate any advice anyone can give me on the best way forward and especially if any other submissives who may have had similar worries starting out could tell me how they managed it.

Thank you

Think about this - she likes YOU, or wouldn't you wouldn't be in a relationship. Part of what makes you, YOU is your life experiences, opinions, interests, ethics, etc... if she didn't want YOU (experiences, opinions, interests, ethics, etc, and all), she wouldn't be your Mistress, would she?

Were you rude, in your response? Was it warranted? If her statement offended you, and you reacted strongly in the moment, ask to discuss it when both of you are calmer. Explain your position, apologizing for your previous bad behavior (if you behaved badly). Listen to her side of things, openly. Ask her to listen to your side of things, openly. In the end, if you're still offended and can't reach a place of mutual respect, your "wonderful mistress" might not be as good of a fit as you thought.

BTW - online or in person, and how long has this person been your Mistress?

 

[Netzach]

It really depends so much on the players involved that it's hard to say what to do or whether you should worry. You should be able to communicate though. What are her expectations? It may be fine to disagree, but it may also be part of your submission to keep your disagreements to yourself unless they involve life and limb - they don't call it discipline for nothing.

Different people run their show differently, with more or less warmth and mutuality - there's no wrong way to do it, but there can be wrong relationships between people. Talk to her, and you'll see if you're on compatible pages. You probably are, but you should not be afraid to get to know her preferences at this point for those times you do disagree.

 

[amofiga]

Remember D/S is based on choice, trust, and negotiation.

 

[Carlskitty]

I don't no how long u have been with your mistress or how well u know each other.
I can only say from myself I'm a very Dom women who has given myself to my master , and even though we live together I have learned that sometimes I have to let go and trust he will do the best for us.
I still have an opinion as I'm not a slave ,and if I'm not happy with something he says I feel able to say so.
If u think you were rude in anyway I'd just say how sorry u are u reacted the way u did,
And try talking more , it's saddened me how many subbies think they have no say in what they think and feel ,
I may be new on this site but have lived the life for the passed 20 years