Fingering a friend who wants more?

[drsogr]

I have a really good friend that would like for us to be more than friends. I enjoy spending time with her, and she is a great person, but I am not physically attracted to her. Which is a big deal to me.

She has told me on many occasions that I am free to have my way with her, but I really don't want to get the lines blurred. But she has a skill that I have never seen with any woman.....she is a squirter! I would love to see this in action, and help her reach orgasm through fingering her.

I am one of those people who don't like to have sex regrets....which I am guessing many of us are on this site. Am I asking for trouble if I offer to do this for her? Women, if a man asked to finger you and told you that it was purely platonic, could you handle that? I know woman can get very emotionally attached once sex has happened, but is fingering the same thing?

Am I just asking for trouble?

 

[Ima_Reader]

I have a really good friend that would like for us to be more than friends. I enjoy spending time with her, and she is a great person, but I am not physically attracted to her. Which is a big deal to me.

She has told me on many occasions that I am free to have my way with her, but I really don't want to get the lines blurred. But she has a skill that I have never seen with any woman.....she is a squirter! I would love to see this in action, and help her reach orgasm through fingering her.

I am one of those people who don't like to have sex regrets....which I am guessing many of us are on this site. Am I asking for trouble if I offer to do this for her? Women, if a man asked to finger you and told you that it was purely platonic, could you handle that? I know woman can get very emotionally attached once sex has happened, but is fingering the same thing?

Am I just asking for trouble?

The tone of your message tells me that you should not do this. Fingering is sex. It you think sex would damage your friendship, fingering would too.

 

[Primalex]

I have a really good friend that would like for us to be more than friends. I enjoy spending time with her, and she is a great person, but I am not physically attracted to her. Which is a big deal to me.

She has told me on many occasions that I am free to have my way with her, but I really don't want to get the lines blurred. But she has a skill that I have never seen with any woman.....she is a squirter! I would love to see this in action, and help her reach orgasm through fingering her.

I am one of those people who don't like to have sex regrets....which I am guessing many of us are on this site. Am I asking for trouble if I offer to do this for her? Women, if a man asked to finger you and told you that it was purely platonic, could you handle that? I know woman can get very emotionally attached once sex has happened, but is fingering the same thing?

Am I just asking for trouble?

You are asking for trouble, but trouble awaits you in your life anyway.


The trouble is not worth it just for the scientific observation of her orgasm. If you are interested though in a fwb situation, go for it.

 

[fire_breeze]

I have a really good friend that would like for us to be more than friends. I enjoy spending time with her, and she is a great person, but I am not physically attracted to her. Which is a big deal to me.

She has told me on many occasions that I am free to have my way with her, but I really don't want to get the lines blurred. But she has a skill that I have never seen with any woman.....she is a squirter! I would love to see this in action, and help her reach orgasm through fingering her.

I am one of those people who don't like to have sex regrets....which I am guessing many of us are on this site. Am I asking for trouble if I offer to do this for her? Women, if a man asked to finger you and told you that it was purely platonic, could you handle that? I know woman can get very emotionally attached once sex has happened, but is fingering the same thing?

Am I just asking for trouble?

For what it's worth, many men can also get emotionally attached after sex - or must be emotionally attached in order to actually have sex, just as many women can separate emotions from sex.

In your case, your friend wants something more. Engaging in intimacy when you know how your friend feels and not willing to (or unable to) reciprocate demeans your friendship. You are viewing her as an experiment as opposed to a human being with very real emotions.

ETA: You mentioned that you don't want to get the lines blurred after she made it clear that you can have your way with her. Playing is blurring the lines, especially now that you know how she feels about her. It's a bit inconsistent to even consider it.

 

[JerseyPrincess]

I would have to agree with the majority here. She wants more and you dont, using her ability to squirt as a excuse to fuck with her emotions is not a good thing. I would say if she didnt want more to go for it..but she does. There are plenty of women who can squirt when stimulated properly. I know a guy who can get me to squirt with no foreplay at all...so if this is something you want to experience, learn the correct way to do it and find someone who you are physically attracted to and have fun with her

 

[Wide_eyed_Indulgence]

Ooooh boy . . . you know the answer already. You sound like a nice guy, and you will regret using her like that.

 

[FGB]

Where as I HAVE helped out a female friend before albeit not exactly in the same circumstances I would advise you to be real careful!

A rejected woman can cause you some serious misery for sure...I learned the hard way.

I strongly suggest that you talk to her about how you feel and why and please note that some people will say anything to get their way about what they want.
Some people even believe what they say at the time.

 

[drsogr]

Thanks guys, a lot of quick comments that are in agreement. I appreciate the input, its hard not to use someone, that is begging to be used. Unfortunately she is begging to be used, in hopes that it will bring us together.

I will stay a good guy and keep the friendship intact. Her friendship means more to me than seeing a woman squirt.

 

[GrrlFriday]

Have you told her that you don't like her that way?

 

[amofiga]

drosgr

You really must simply have an objective un-emotional talk with her prior to having any sort of continued intimate contact. You might be surprised to find that she does not really want any serious emotional ties with you either, but you need to make sure this is agreed to in advance and brought up later if necessary. I've had experiences with many women who simply wanted to be friends with benefits because they were married or their careers or geography (out of town) would not allow serious involvement. They worked out fine. There were others where they (or I) got more emotionally attached then was originally planned and it became necessary later to revisit the original agreement and if necessary, break off the relationship. Unfortunately in one case it got quite ugly. You never know.

You don't want to be a "bad guy" about this thing but you also want to explore the squirting adventure. Find out what she wants. She may simply want to explore the adventure as well. One of my earliest sexual experiences (too early to mention an age here without getting the post deleted) was with a girl I grew up with on the same street as a playmate and almost an honorary sister. At a certain point in our life, we decided to experiment togther because she wanted to watch a cock ejaculate and I wanted to experience playing with a pussy. We spent a summer playing, never having actual intercourse, and then moved on with the rest of our lives. Neither of us got all hung up and neither ever regretted it. However, you must have pre-set ground rules.

Good luck

 

[horny8191988]

Thanks guys, a lot of quick comments that are in agreement. I appreciate the input, its hard not to use someone, that is begging to be used. Unfortunately she is begging to be used, in hopes that it will bring us together.

I will stay a good guy and keep the friendship intact. Her friendship means more to me than seeing a woman squirt.

I'm glad that you were able to realize this.

My first assumption was that she was hoping to get across the 'friendship' line and then let things get complicated. I blame those darn romantic comedies that we watch. We figure that if the guy isn't in to us, we just do something and then he will suddenly have this epiphany and realize that we are all he's ever wanted and that all the previous women he had been with were just leading him to us. So... Kudos to you for picking up on that. haha

 

[subwannabe]

1. You don't even really know if she squirts or not. She may have been just telling you this to peak your curiosity.

2. You are actually doing her more harm by doing this as she will accept this has her affection and will not search for a real relationship elsewhere.

 

[satindesire]

I have a really good friend that would like for us to be more than friends. I enjoy spending time with her, and she is a great person, but I am not physically attracted to her. Which is a big deal to me.

She has told me on many occasions that I am free to have my way with her, but I really don't want to get the lines blurred. But she has a skill that I have never seen with any woman.....she is a squirter! I would love to see this in action, and help her reach orgasm through fingering her.

I am one of those people who don't like to have sex regrets....which I am guessing many of us are on this site. Am I asking for trouble if I offer to do this for her? Women, if a man asked to finger you and told you that it was purely platonic, could you handle that? I know woman can get very emotionally attached once sex has happened, but is fingering the same thing?

Am I just asking for trouble?

You can see it online in any number of porn videos. It's not that unusual. Please don't break her heart.

 

[SkylarFalling]

If it was me, I'd be worried about hurting her emotionally. The way I see it, you are already blurring the lines a bit much if she is emotionally attached to you. But if she wanted to be friends with benefits, I'd go for it.

 

[Jp0n3]

For situations such as this, I always turn to the How I Met Your Mother episode called "The Hook". I know it's a show, but it's a very good observation. you always have somebody on your hook, and you are always on somebodies hook. Put yourself in that position. If you had strong feelings for you, and she just wanted to blow you or give you a handy every once in a while, it may be great at the time, but the idea that one of you wants more will just destroy that person in the end.

 

[Mammi89]

Uh oh

This would be fun in the moment, but later...not so much. A woman scorned and all....

 

[yuna1981]

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[Doog_kuron]

For situations such as this, I always turn to the How I Met Your Mother episode called "The Hook". I know it's a show, but it's a very good observation. you always have somebody on your hook, and you are always on somebodies hook. Put yourself in that position. If you had strong feelings for you, and she just wanted to blow you or give you a handy every once in a while, it may be great at the time, but the idea that one of you wants more will just destroy that person in the end.

100% agree with this.

 

[afternine]

Unfortunately she is begging to be used, in hopes that it will bring us together.

I have fallen to such begging - initially it was agreed to be just FWB, but it turned out into an invalid relationship which ended not much later with so much bitterness,sadness and grief on both parts. Don't do it. Just do not.