THE hallmark employee of the month club

[pensivepoet]

Like rain upon the daisies
His life, fell upon us all
A little here, a little there
He shared himself
Most everywhere
We'll miss him, this we know
Though he didnt miss any of us
And from his ashes
May roses will grow
So look to the sky
From whence he came
His life was like
A ball of flame
So sorry about the
Plane crash
Love,
A guy in Dickers Heights

 

[pensivepoet]

Birthday joy is here again!
Call all the family!
Call all his friends!
It's party time for five year olds!
With dreams of puppies
And horney toads
Balloons and presents
And cake galore!
For this special birthday
Who could ask for more?
But that little bastard
With his evil tricks
Once more comes over
He'll never see six
Happy Birthday
~your neighbor, George Wilson

 

[pensivepoet]

I loved you all
Like the leaves in the fall
And not just for
Those mountains of snow
The motel rooms
Oh no, oh no,
My love it was real
Don't say, no big deal
It was truly your heart
Not copping a feel
I think of you now
As the drips they do fall
But the lawyers sweet dears
They do call and call
So with heart felt thanks
I bid you adieu
And again i must ask
Must you all sue?
Sincerest apologies for the clap
~Charlie Sheen

 

[twelveoone]

My dear
pensivepoet

Sir:
If I was forced to make a distinction between doggerel and poetry,
#2 is trite and mean spirited enough to fall well within the (hall) mark of the doggerel intent of the thread.
#1 is downright vicious and has the depth of real poetry to be better then at least 4/5 of what of see in new poems and with a slight modification of tone, really, really good.
#3 needs a band.

Sorry for this unwarranted intrusion of feedback into a poetry (or doggerel) thread.

Sincerely,
twelveoone
Superfluous Redundancy Esq.

 

[pensivepoet]

My Dearest 1201
If i had anything left to be offended, i'm pretty sure i would so be..
It took me weeks to compose these fine standards of my craft.
Why, Mr Hallmark, himself, told me he has never witnessed such tayloring of pensive emotions.
I, sir, take umbrage.
(slap!)
Get well, soon

 

[butters]

gloves at dawn? ooh, popcorn with bitter hallmark

 

[pensivepoet]

gloves at dawn? ooh, popcorn with bitter hallmark

Ah, he's just jealous cuz i got the office and he got the cubicle.
Those Blue Mountain guys are such snobs.

 

[pensivepoet]

To be serious for just a minute, thanks 1201!
Your comments are always greatly appreciated. This took some serious dumbing down. I don't recommend it.
Not sure i can ever pen a decent line again.
Butters? It's even worse than limericks.
I know!

 

[champagne1982]

I saw how you trembled
as the spark between us leapt
across the gap of separation
and tore through your body kept
still beneath the weight of my sole.
I pray your recovery come fast
and sure and that soon you'll be fine

Get well soon,
~ Lee Birch (they call me TASER-Meister)

 

[pensivepoet]

I saw how you trembled
as the spark between us leapt
across the gap of separation
and tore through your body kept
still beneath the weight of my sole.
I pray your recovery come fast
and sure and that soon you'll be fine

Get well soon,
~ Lee Birch (they call me TASER-Meister)

See? That's the problem with wal marts hallmark section! They go right from anniversary to birthday.
No bdsm section. We gotta fix that.
Don't taze me!
Well, ok, just a little

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Mommie dear my day has come
with copies selling still
I don't need your stinking money
though I was left out of the will.
I wrote it there for all to see
in a best selling tome,
they even made a film of your
less than perfect home.
~ Christina Crawford

 

[pensivepoet]

Mommie dear my day has come
with copies selling still
I don't need your stinking money
though I was left out of the will.
I wrote it there for all to see
in a best selling tome,
they even made a film of your
less than perfect home.
~ Christina Crawford

Ouch
Now i'll have to think of one from mark sanford
You gotta love a rep. Governor, pres hopeful, who leaves a note saying he's in the appalachians, then flys to argentina to shack up.
Yes, i think he owes his ex wife a card.
Thanks for the inspiration

 

[butters]

To be serious for just a minute, thanks 1201!
Your comments are always greatly appreciated. This took some serious dumbing down. I don't recommend it.
Not sure i can ever pen a decent line again.
Butters? It's even worse than limericks.
I know!

soppy hallmark i can do with my eyes tied behind my keyboard, but this darker stuff will take some deep thought.

 

[twelveoone]

To be serious for just a minute, thanks 1201!
Your comments are always greatly appreciated. This took some serious dumbing down. I don't recommend it.
Not sure i can ever pen a decent line again.
Butters? It's even worse than limericks.
I know!

well to be serious. I lied a little. #1 is better than 9/10 of what I see in NP. I was afraid of offending another 10%.
Also I don't want to have to listen to you ask for another god damn raise again. Cubicle, my ass.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Coffee Klatch at the Hallmark Factory

Why is it, Morrie, nowadays
there's no "Have a Happy Deathday"
Hallmark card for those who say
they live for heaven's sake?

A priori the rest of us
want birthday cake and eat it too
until we feel a stomachache
and say it's just the flu.

But then we either hope or pray
when the pain travels wider,
Eve who said she saw the Snake
was drinking too much cider.

But if not, sure as hell
we'll cower in some corner
where we swear to God or Not
we'll change our ways tomorrow.

 

[pensivepoet]

You said that you loved me
I believed it was true
So from there on my knees
I blew til you blew
So slickly you swooned me
Convinced me, you cared
And that only with me
Was little willie shared
Now the dust has all settled
All losses, no gains
And all i have left
This dress, and your stains
Best Wishes, Always
~Monica

 

[pensivepoet]

With wisdom comes age
It's true, yes i know
And pink puffy pantsuits
Can seem rather droll
But like dew in the grass
My pussy still gleams
And the men that i've fucked
Are only your dreams
So take your beret
Do the trailer park strut
I'm running for president
You're still just a slut
So sorry for your demise
~Hillary

 

[pensivepoet]

Her hair, how it fell
As sparrows in sync
Ribbon by ribbon
Bow by bow
And i can't help but think
If only a ladder, i had
me to climb
I'd help her undress
In the moonlight sublime
Like butterflies flitting
Her panties they flew
Then her blouse and her bra
Yes, i watched them fly too
She'd cup and caress
In the mirror's soft tint
She was the flame
That rose from my flint
Now the curtains are drawn
And i'm left so forlorn
She was better than baseball
Even better than porn
~So sorry to hear of your wife's passing
Sincerely, your neighbor, Jim

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The crowd had gathered early
and were calling out my name,
this day above all others
would never be the same.
I thought it would be you, for
they'd followed where you led,
as I slipped down from the hill
storm clouds gathered overhead.
~~~~ Barabbas

 

[pensivepoet]

The crowd had gathered early
and were calling out my name,
this day above all others
would never be the same.
I thought it would be you, for
they'd followed where you led,
as I slipped down from the hill
storm clouds gathered overhead.
~~~~ Barabbas

Wow
Didn't see that one coming, UYS
Gives us Barabbas!
Geez, this one kinda scares me, and is far too good and profound for hallmark.
Thanks for contributing. Greatly appreciated

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Wow
Didn't see that one coming, UYS
Gives us Barabbas!
Geez, this one kinda scares me, and is far too good and profound for hallmark.
Thanks for contributing. Greatly appreciated

You're very welcome ....... great idea

 

[pensivepoet]

You're very welcome ....... great idea

Loved him slippin down the hill, makin his get away, before the storm blew

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I wondered about using 'gathered' too much but couldn't think of a better word for either line ............ if anyone has any ideas?

 

[pensivepoet]

I wondered about using 'gathered' too much but couldn't think of a better word for either line ............ if anyone has any ideas?

I probably would've said
~the crowd clamored in gather
calling out my name
(which means it's most likely incorrect on a dozen levels)

 

[pensivepoet]

Have you seen the rain
in early spring?
have you known a spring
at all?
The flowers bloom
transverse on a hill
have you heard
the lake loon's call?
And swim, have you ever?
I dare say not
perhaps in a dream
that you've long since forgot
it's true in your mocking
you've gotten my goat
Bon voy-age to you all
that laughed at my boat
Happy trails~Noah