an erotic smack in the face

[Learnsmith]

I've been asked to do it. I did it, because hey, whatever gets my partner off, but I did admittedly feel weird about it after. Way I figure, that's a good thing - means I'm exercising the appropriate amount of caution and judgment.

 

[The Greek]

Never been much into giving or receiving and erotic smacking.

That being said, I would not mind a good Dolf smack once *nods*

 

[SkAoUt]

Nothing wrong with that. Trust and knowing your partner is paramount (as was suggested earlier). Reading a situation is pretty handy as well.

Not an everyday occurrence but really hot as its happening.

 

[dolf]

it's not yet 7am and already it's a two wank morning *sigh*

 

[Not Normal]

it's not yet 7am and already it's a two wank morning *sigh*

I like the thought of this...

 

[Dionysian Beast]

it's not yet 7am and already it's a two wank morning *sigh*

I could not even do that on a day off.

 

[Que]

I've told the story elsewhere, but my first BDSM 'scene' included an inexplicable slap across my fiancee's face.

I was still a virgin at the time. Zero experience in S&M. No discussion beforehand. I had not so much as seen an image of a "scene." I was vaguely aware (not sure how) that spanking was a "thing."

My fiancee' (D) who had widely varied and quite a bit of sexual experience had queried me about my (limited) experience. My previous girlfriend (G) had been a handful, but only just.

At 4'10" tall and about 85lbs, you wouldn't think restraining (G) would be necessary. (G) and I were both from hyper-religious backgrounds. She more experienced in the ways of sin, but probably no more conflicted about it than I. She (and I) had convoluted rationalization mechanisms that served us. I had no word for "edging" but that was both her yearn and her shield. As long as she didn't "get there' she figured she had stayed on the right side of the line. Problem was, she "got there" fairly easily once her Central American blood was sufficiently warmed. -Stereotypes are not created in a vacuum; she was the archetype.

Always an engineer's tract running, my solution was to bind her in place so I could rise up out of her range when I sensed she was just about "there."

(D) not burdened with anaorgamic shame, was never-the-less enthralled with the tale and said "Tie me up!" with a seductive grin and glittering eyes.

I assumed this was a "tie & tease me" sort of thing and quickly misapplied some Boy Scout field craft. Once secure I teased and tickled; I had her writhing and rising up off the bed.

"Spank me." she implored.

Puzzled, I complied to her topping from the bottom demand, knowing none of those terms at the time.

"Harder!" she insisted. Always interested in calibration, I put a little more sass on it. Pupils like a De Grazia painting now.

"That's it...Harder!" ...through gritted teeth. This time I warmed my hand a bit.

"You LIKE it...I can tell..." she said...this would be a bit of a theme in years to come. Something I loved and hated, but recognized it as due to my own complexities.

I slapped her across the face. Hard.

She came with a shudder pressed against my hip.

Hot. And wrong. Naturally, I was socialized that ANY violence directed at a woman was unacceptable. Didn't matter if my sister was older, or who "started it." You don't hit a girl. Ever.

I remember being a bit ashamed internally at how starkly aroused I was by the experience. I had "gone to far." I had no idea where the urge to do so originated.

She seemed cheerful and pleased as I untied her...we probably cuddled, I dunno. I probably needed more aftercare than she.

As far as I recall we didn't discuss it at the time. I have never tried it again, ever. I would if I strongly sensed it would be welcomed. To ask first would ruin it for her I suspect. I have had a couple of playmates as of late that might have found it worth experiencing.

Years later when we were blogging together I am almost sure I told the story. I don't recall her impressions of that time years later.

She used to tell me I had "that look" from time to time during rough play. I knew she was looking for it, so as far as my psyche let me know, I was "just playin"

It is possible that like Doc said, "I wasn't."

 

[dolf]

I find that a turn on. a guy letting go and doing something with and to me that society has told him not to do. I like that little voice in the back of his head that tells him he's crossing a line, and I like knowing it's being ignored for the moment, for the pleasure, for the fuck.

 

[StrayKat]

I find that a turn on. a guy letting go and doing something with and to me that society has told him not to do. I like that little voice in the back of his head that tells him he's crossing a line, and I like knowing it's being ignored for the moment, for the pleasure, for the fuck.

Knowing he is brave enough to say to the hell with the norms and let his primal beast show in that moment, for you, with you.
I too find daring men who dont always play by the rules somebody else made hot.

 

[dolf]

Knowing he is brave enough to say to the hell with the norms and let his primal beast show in that moment, for you, with you.
I too find daring men who dont always play by the rules somebody else made hot.

I like the way you phrase it.

...of course I realise that some men's primal beast would rather snuggle, and I don't imply cowardice or falsehood in the guys who say they have no desire to strike.

 

[Que]

I find that a turn on. a guy letting go and doing something with and to me that society has told him not to do. I like that little voice in the back of his head that tells him he's crossing a line, and I like knowing it's being ignored for the moment, for the pleasure, for the fuck.

That seemed to be exactly what she liked about it. Pushing my very carefully repressed buttons. I imagine it was very validating to inspire lust that seemed out of control.

Curious, though- Why did you not post in the BDSM area? Not that the GB couldn't use some kink, mind you.

 

[StrayKat]

I like the way you phrase it.

...of course I realise that some men's primal beast would rather snuggle, and I don't imply cowardice or falsehood in the guys who say they have no desire to strike.

What you wrote resonated well with me

I absolutely dont think men who see nothing arousing in it are false or cowards.
Being yourself is good and brave thing no matter what it may mean, slapping someone or being a perfect gentleman.

 

[Que]

There is a push pull dynamic to a lot of kink. It's hot for the "doer" because the "other person" wants to have it done, it's hot for the recipient because the "other person" wants to do it.

I doubt that I would get a thing out of it if i didn't see a glint of hunger for something. I think some people do enjoy being passive and accepting something, and some find release in meeting some primal lust even with a partner that merely "permits" it, but for me it was always the way the action ramps up the reaction of the other person...feeding on each other.

I am the least intimidating I could probably be, so my results probably are atypical. I am surprised how with careful calibration and no prior discussion things can get pretty intense even with an unfamiliar partner. That was really unexpected as I fumbled my way into single life again.

It's something I think about but have no good answers for on the BDSM threads about "How do I find someone into..." I think you start with chemistry and then look for intersecting areas of compatibility.

I'm not going to pick on Eyer's point of view since a lot of people that haven't played rough hold similar ones, but it hasn't been my experience. Anecdotally from my admittedly small sample size, women seem to respond well to intense.

If I were some tattooed bouncer looking individual you might think I am attracting girls that prefer a bad-boy. I kind of think most like to see your most -real- side, and intense is one way to get there.

Over the years- mostly on Lit but other places as well I have voyeured a lot of peoples sex lives with Q&A. I have never heard a woman complain that her sex life would be better if her guy was just a little more gentle.

 

[StrayKat]

If I were some tattooed bouncer looking individual you might think I am attracting girls that prefer a bad-boy. I kind of think most like to see your most -real- side, and intense is one way to get there.

It is not about how you look for me, it is about attitude and mind. Additionally I love the contrast between the perfect controlled gentleman on the street and insatiable, demanding beast in the bed. I was never attracted to outwards expressed violence and dominance, its the quiet, inward turned types I find interesting. The ones that dont show their, as you say, most real side, to everyone, just me, intimately.

 

[subdued_passion]

It is not about how you look for me, it is about attitude and mind. Additionally I love the contrast between the perfect controlled gentleman on the street and insatiable, demanding beast in the bed. I was never attracted to outwards expressed violence and dominance, its the quiet, inward turned types I find interesting. The ones that dont show their, as you say, most real side, to everyone, just me, intimately.

I like people who are proper and show a great deal of restraint in public, who only let loose in private. It's fun to try to push the limits of these kind of people and make them lose control in public. Actually it's always exciting to make anyone lose control of themselves.

 

[Arianthe]

It is not about how you look for me, it is about attitude and mind. Additionally I love the contrast between the perfect controlled gentleman on the street and insatiable, demanding beast in the bed. I was never attracted to outwards expressed violence and dominance, its the quiet, inward turned types I find interesting. The ones that dont show their, as you say, most real side, to everyone, just me, intimately.

THIS! I too am attracted to men who wear their dominance quietly.

Rough play is a double-edged sword. If he asks my permission, he's probably not the right man for me. If I have to ask him, he's probably not the right man for me. In fact, asking a partner to slap my face strikes me as an invitation to be abused. I'd never do it.

I'm looking for a man with superb self-control, so that if he slaps my face, it's in a controlled manner and demonstrates his degree of control over me. Then it's hot.

Did I mention I'm sick and twisted?

 

[dolf]

Curious, though- Why did you not post in the BDSM area? Not that the GB couldn't use some kink, mind you.

because I've not the slightest interest in their leather trousered opinions.

 

[Devilius]

because I've not the slightest interest in their leather trousered opinions.

BDSM doesn't always mean leather and whips. That's kinda ignorant.

 

[dolf]

BDSM doesn't always mean leather and whips. That's kinda ignorant.

have you actually read the bdsm section on lit, twat?

 

[Devilius]

have you actually read the bdsm section on lit, twat?

Not the trashy ones, if that's your choice.

Making your opinions based on the thinkings of amateur wannabe Doms and fools is...what can I say?

Stupid?

Ask someone who knows, not the opposite.

 

[StrayKat]

have you actually read the bdsm section on lit, twat?

This made me chuckle.

 

[lovetoread]

Yep, the GB totally doesn't have any kinky people.

 

[dolf]

Not the trashy ones, if that's your choice.

Making your opinions based on the thinkings of amateur wannabe Doms and fools is...what can I say?

Stupid?

Ask someone who knows, not the opposite.

actually, I would suggest that you are stupid.
he asked why I ask the gb rather than the bdsm section,
not my general opinion on all bdsmers.
you seem to have a bdsm shaped chip on your shoulder, twat.

what exactly does my av look like to you?

 

[dolf]

This made me chuckle.

I know, right

the gb has posters whose opinions I give a shit about.

 

[Devilius]

...
he asked why I ask the gb rather than the bdsm section,
not my general opinion on all bdsmers.

I think you said something like this:

because I've not the slightest interest in their leather trousered opinions.

have you actually read the bdsm section on lit, twat?

Unless, this is a new form of spanish, I wrote what I thought you said.

you seem to have a bdsm shaped chip on your shoulder, twat.

Well, thank you.

what exactly does my av look like to you?

Pffft..

And WTF does my av look like?

Jeez, for all I know you could be anything else but that av.