Meeting over the internet...

[Caesar23]

Hi everyonebnot sure if this is the right place for this but...

I am a male in my early twenties and i really struggle to meet women after a breakup. I have tried internet dating but never really get any replies...

Does anyone know of any good websites for meeting people just a friends with benefits/hookups etc. Im really worried about being scammed but imbstarting to get a sexually frustrated to be honest...

Thanks for any help in advance!

 

[NotHisLady]

I'd say start by working on the one you have here.
"someone about my age" but no clue what your age is
"want to experiment and try new things" but you aren't necessarily looking for that
You're full of contradictions, don't say much about yourself. Nothing about it stands out.
Add that to a BLANK profile and you get bad results.
I would think that anywhere you go you'll need to think along those lines.

 

[Caesar23]

I'd say start by working on the one you have here.
"someone about my age" but no clue what your age is
"want to experiment and try new things" but you aren't necessarily looking for that
You're full of contradictions, don't say much about yourself. Nothing about it stands out.
Add that to a BLANK profile and you get bad results.
I would think that anywhere you go you'll need to think along those lines.

Thanks for the advice i have added some stuff to my profile so i hope it is a bit clearer?

My dating profile is fairly friendly cheerful etc so gets me down when people dont reply...

 

[SweetErika]

Like NHL said, you need to be clear, interesting and stand out from the pack. There are about a gazillion guys competing with you for easy sex with a relatively small number of women. That's why sites like AdultFriendFinder resort to putting up fake female profiles and using bots. The guys who actually find the sex they're looking for typically have engaging looks, personalities, a great sense of humor, financial stability or success, etc. Can you compete and stand out from the pack without being dishonest?

Anyway, your better bet may be to engage in person at bars/clubs, events, classes, interest groups, volunteer opportunities, and the like. Or, depending on the laws in your area and/or the amount of risk you're willing to take, you could engage the services of a professional if your sexual frustration gets that bad. A cheaper and safe option would be to invest in a few masturbation aids, and mix up your routine until you happen across a lady who's interested in you, or you're in a place where you're looking to date/start a relationship.

 

[NightL]

You are in your early twenties - get off the internet - go to clubs - parties - festivals - play sport - smile - say hello to people - start conversations - test yourself, see how many new people you can say hello to each day.

Stop being so focussed on sex - if you are frustrated masturbate - aim to make friends with women first. You are expecting the world to be your own personal porn movie, instant sex. Guess what, it does not work that way.

At your age I would imagine most women of a similar age who may be interested in a FWB relationship are driven and highly motivated people focussing on careers and education. Are they going to be interested in someone who is moping, self pitying and interested in MMA? What have you got to offer?

"My dating profile is fairly friendly cheerful etc so gets me down when people dont reply..."​

So how do you really think that reads? Oh poor Caesar23, he deserves a sympathy fuck. Get off your arse and get out there and meet people in person.

 

[Emerson40]

Meeting over the internet is not all that different than meeting folks in real life.

If you just present yourself, plop yourself out there, people (read "pussy" if you're a horny 20 something) are not just gonna flock to you. You have to be interesting, engage people, catch the eye, and be able to hold interest with what you say and how you behave.

You want to do it on-line, fine. But put in the spade work. Put a bit of yourself in your profiles, polish up the profile with something interesting about yourself, use spell-check or at least proof read what you post / write (where is Southern Englabd?). As SweetErika pointed out, there is a limited pool of available ladies on those sites. Some are pros looking for work, some are not going to be what you may be looking for, and others are probably not like they've presented themselves (34 yr old with a profile pic where she is wearing a Duran Duran shirt and sporting a hair scrunchy ). Of the few remaining, what is it about you and your profile that sets you apart, captures the attention.

If all it took was: Male, 24. Has cock and reads some books. Looking for NSA sex., craigslist would be the most successful dating site in the world.

 

[Eroticalover1968]

If you can tolerate a bit of advice from an embittered older guy read on : This world is filled with self absorbed people...of both genders. Stop seeking and you shall find. And here's a test for when you do meet who you think is miss right: Let her into your car, leaving your door locked. If she just sits there, dump her. If she reaches over and unlocks your door for you, that's good. Don't go for looks so much either. You get used to someone's exterior either way. It's all about chemistry. I just wish I would have listened to this advice when I was your age.

 

[NotHisLady]

If you can tolerate a bit of advice from an embittered older guy read on : This world is filled with self absorbed people...of both genders. Stop seeking and you shall find. And here's a test for when you do meet who you think is miss right: Let her into your car, leaving your door locked. If she just sits there, dump her. If she reaches over and unlocks your door for you, that's good. Don't go for looks so much either. You get used to someone's exterior either way. It's all about chemistry. I just wish I would have listened to this advice when I was your age.

Well yes but if you want someone who isn't morally questionable for a LTR you probably don't want someone who is into being FWB without first being friends now do you?

To the OP:
Sweetie, turns out we're allowed to be blunt on this one. Stop saying why you want gals to answer that lame post. Of course you do. Trouble is they aren't or you wouldn't be HERE now would you?

1. Go and browse through the posts the gals have put up. Ask yourself which ones get your attention, which ones you might even answer if they were after the same things you were. (Maybe answer a couple if they ARE looking for the same things you are.) That will start giving you an idea of what makes a post stand out, which ones are generic and which ones have a 'wow' factor (for lack of a better term.

2. Go and browse through the posts the other guys have put up. Ask yourself how theirs compare to what you've written. Look to see who's gotten comments and what those comments ARE.

3 Most importantly. Go out and buy a book about how to sell stuff. Zig Ziegler is and oldie but a goodie. No I am not kidding. Sales training is one of the single most valuable skills I ever learned when it comes to dealing with people in any situation that involves give and take or persuasion. Go, read, learn.

4. A word to the wise--Never ever forget that the person who looks at that Personals post is going to take a quick look at your last several posts everywhere. A guy who seems like a wonderful, sensitive guy will get blown out of the water by one Am Pics post that says "Whoo Wee look at those tits!!"

 

[Hypoxia]

It is not impossible to find fuckmates and/or life partners online. I've seen it happen. I don't know how rare or difficult it is to do well this way.

I recommend personal interaction. There's a simple process:

1) Think about what interests you.
2) Think whether people you want to screw may have the same interests.
3) Go where they go, and meet them.

I do not recommend the bar / club meat-market scene, but if that's where you're at, then good luck. People I've met there are usually fairly dysfunctional. If that turns you on, fine. If not, try something else.

How to find lovers: Get into social situations. Join social/activist groups: clubs, mixed teams, reading / discussion / arts / church circles, local theatre. Take or give classes. Just wander around and TALK to people. If the interactions involve touching, all the better.

Where I've found lovers and partners: In classes (taking and giving). On hikes. At festivals and campouts and family gatherings. Busking (playing music on the street). On a long-distance bus. Doing door-to-door solicitation (yes, really).

Relax. Do what you want, and the sex will follow (paraphrasing Paul Hawken).

 

[Caesar23]

Thanks for all of your different advices when I'm not at work i promise i will read them all properly and absorb everything!

 

[PayDay]

Rules for this: (maybe I'm joking?)

#1: Everyone is lying on the Internet.
#2: There are no women on the Internet, only guys.
#3. Beware any person who posts a down angle face shot.
#4: No sane person would try Internet dating as a first resort, as reality exists.
#5. Persons have been murdered responding to hook-ups over the Internet.

 

[NotHisLady]

Rules for this: (maybe I'm joking?)

#1: Everyone is lying on the Internet.
#2: There are no women on the Internet, only guys.
#3. Beware any person who posts a down angle face shot.
#4: No sane person would try Internet dating as a first resort, as reality exists.
#5. Persons have been murdered responding to hook-ups over the Internet.

Just for the sake of argument (and frankly I'm in the mood for one)

#1: If this is correct then so are you and nothing you say can be believed.
#2: Ahem, do you want a doctor's note or testimonials?
#3: I'm not sure wtf this means but never take just one photo as evidence of anything
#4: This is quite possibly true but then who wants to date sane people?
#5: Persons have been murders leaving bars for hook-ups with people they just met.

We live in an imperfect world.

 

[Hypoxia]

Rules for this: (maybe I'm joking?)

#1: Everyone is lying on the Internet.
#2: There are no women on the Internet, only guys.
#3. Beware any person who posts a down angle face shot.
#4: No sane person would try Internet dating as a first resort, as reality exists.
#5. Persons have been murdered responding to hook-ups over the Internet.

#1: True. (This a who-shaves-the-barber paradox).
#2: In cyberspace, nobody can tell you're a poodle.
#3: Any posted pictures that aren't fake, should be.
#4: Sanity is highly over-rated, especially online.
#5: We are all un-indicted co-conspirators. Confess.

 

[unregistered]

 

[NightL]

As much I hate the arrogant demand of "I want instant sex" bullshit, the OP may try Tinder

http://www.gotinder.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinder_(application)
Tinder: the casual sex app that makes us even more vain
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/techno...-casual-sex-app-that-makes-us-even-more-vain/

 

[Bottomlover]

It is not impossible to find fuckmates and/or life partners online. I've seen it happen. I don't know how rare or difficult it is to do well this way.

I recommend personal interaction. There's a simple process:

1) Think about what interests you.
2) Think whether people you want to screw may have the same interests.
3) Go where they go, and meet them.

This poster has it right.

Online, participate in forums that are not centered on dating. Participate in forums that are centered on things you are passionate about. If necessary, think of something you've always wanted to learn or do and sign up. Make friends and go to group activities. Almost every forum has local get-togethers. Eventually you will meet someone. In the meantime, enjoy your friends and whatever it is that brought you to them.

 

[LWulf]

Woohoo! my avatar is looking upwards! (Lucky for me those guys carved them that way)

****​

You want some good advice? Learn to dance. Women tend to judge a guy by how he dances. If he is dull and boring as a dancer or is afraid to dance, he will be dull and boring and afraid to try things in bed (sex).
If a guy is confident and bold in the way he dances he will be confident and bold in bed too.
Now here is the odd thing. If a guy is totally wild and dances like a boob that everyone laughs at his antics on the dance floor, ALL women seem to want to try having sex with this sort of guy at LEAST once, because they want to know is he going to be fun and as wild as he is in bed as he is on the dance floor?!?
Hmm....
XD

Seriously, learning to dance will give you something to do with someone of the opposite sex. You're meeting someone! wooo! You'll go and learn to have fun, if not learn how to laugh at yourself a little (something everyone could/should learn to do once or twice).
Quit thinking "will this get me to have sex?" and think more in terms of "will this get me socializing with people?"

You have to become "friends" before you become "friends with benefits."

Forget the internet is my advice.

 

[littlecordelera]

I date as a hobby, and I gave up online dating years ago. It's not that you can't find compatible people online. The problem is that you have to go through 1000 profiles and meetings before you find one person who is even close to what you are looking for. In five minutes of watching someone in a bar or some other social gathering, you can learn 100 times more about that person than you'll ever get through online exchanges.

The hardest thing for even the best writers is to accurately portray character. Knowing that makes me realize that most people can't even come close to adequately describing themselves in writing.

I say get out there, put yourself in the places where people are, and mingle.

 

[Eilan]

Uhm...this is the only way to take a flattering selfie.Now, obviously for a profile pic or personal, a person could use a picture taken by someone else.

Have you ever accidentally taken a pic of yourself from the facing-up angle? *shudders!* That is not the angle for a pic.

True story.

Signed,
Eilan, who is too old for selfies but doesn't give a fuck

 

[mwmnpa]

Woohoo! my avatar is looking upwards! (Lucky for me those guys carved them that way)

****​

You want some good advice? Learn to dance. Women tend to judge a guy by how he dances. If he is dull and boring as a dancer or is afraid to dance, he will be dull and boring and afraid to try things in bed (sex).
If a guy is confident and bold in the way he dances he will be confident and bold in bed too.
Now here is the odd thing. If a guy is totally wild and dances like a boob that everyone laughs at his antics on the dance floor, ALL women seem to want to try having sex with this sort of guy at LEAST once, because they want to know is he going to be fun and as wild as he is in bed as he is on the dance floor?!?
Hmm....
XD

Seriously, learning to dance will give you something to do with someone of the opposite sex. You're meeting someone! wooo! You'll go and learn to have fun, if not learn how to laugh at yourself a little (something everyone could/should learn to do once or twice).
Quit thinking "will this get me to have sex?" and think more in terms of "will this get me socializing with people?"

You have to become "friends" before you become "friends with benefits."

Forget the internet is my advice.

Dude, I can't dance to save my life, but I have on good authority I'm pretty good in the sack.

Seriously, taking a dance class or two wouldn't be a bad idea for this kid. He'll meet women, learn to dance, and have some fun. And, he can put it on his internet profile that he likes to dance.

 

[NotHisLady]

Dude, I can't dance to save my life, but I have on good authority I'm pretty good in the sack.

Seriously, taking a dance class or two wouldn't be a bad idea for this kid. He'll meet women, learn to dance, and have some fun. And, he can put it on his internet profile that he likes to dance.

I love that expression.
"I can't....to save my life" or "Even if my life depended on it I couldn't..."
Somehow I bet, if your actual life depended on it you'd dance--you may not be Fred Astaire but you would dance.
Just sayin'

 

[StrayKat]

I dont dance much myself so why would I want a guy who dances

Internet dating is fine, just not in your early twenties. You have to dig a bit into a real world before you can relax and enjoy the virtual one.

Actually when I think about it, I hardly met anyone significant offline in past 13 or so years. I am lazy like that and it works for me.

 

[PayDay]

Just for the sake of argument (and frankly I'm in the mood for one)

#1: If this is correct then so are you and nothing you say can be believed.
#2: Ahem, do you want a doctor's note or testimonials?
#3: I'm not sure wtf this means but never take just one photo as evidence of anything
#4: This is quite possibly true but then who wants to date sane people?
#5: Persons have been murders leaving bars for hook-ups with people they just met.

We live in an imperfect world.

"Awww... You're no fun anymore..."

#1: True. (This a who-shaves-the-barber paradox).
#2: In cyberspace, nobody can tell you're a poodle.
#3: Any posted pictures that aren't fake, should be.
#4: Sanity is highly over-rated, especially online.
#5: We are all un-indicted co-conspirators. Confess.

Pro

 

[LWulf]

Dude, I can't dance to save my life, but I have on good authority I'm pretty good in the sack.
...

Sheesh, come on, I said women tend to judge. You'd think I said it's engraved in stone or something.

Anyhoo. yeah, my brother was the dancing ladies man. Dated 8 ladies all at once and told them about each other. He used to score so many girls by dancing. Me? I never would get on the dance floor. Granted, it's a generalization that dancing or not exemplifies what sort of lover you are in the sack, but as they say "If I knew then, what I know now..."

...meh, I'd still have made the same decision! XD I never was one to go out with dozens of girls. That was why my brother had all the girlfriends, but when they met me, they would complain to him "Why aren't you more like your brother?!"

Still, I'd have liked to break that fear of the dance floor if only for myself. *shrug*

 

[Lord Pmann]

What kind of dick pics are you putting forward? Does your dick look like it just woke up, rolled out of bed and posed for the camera? Or have you gotten him all cleaned up, ready for the ball? I might even recommend a little powder around the tip to thwart any unwanted shine. I'm not saying make your dick look like something it's not, but as my mum always said, put your best dick forward.

A good dick pic is really what gets the ladies. AMIRIGHT GIRLS?!?!