FAWC 5: Line, Please!

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Definitely one of the best. Judging by the skill of the writing, I may agree.

"The Midnight Ball" is fantastic, as well. And I just love "Bluetooth".

"Desperate Times and Measures" deserves consideration--and the scores agree--if for nothing other than its emotional complexity. (I still haven't commented on that one. I'm letting it stew.)

"The True Oracle" is ambitious and enough grand fun where I could see it getting the win.

"Empire of the Stars" and "Lorelei's Call" are both supremely clever, though, I think, ultimately handicapped by being shorter, lighter pieces, which isn't necessarily fair. Wouldn't mind if either came in first.

If I had to pin it, I'd say Bullet. But things are wide-open.

Edit: I'm also glad to see "Escape" rising in the scores. That one has been, to my mind, criminally underrated so far. Oh, I'm so punny.

Youre easy to please.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Youre easy to please.

Why, James, have you been talking to my girlfriend? You sly dog. Did she tell you about the nipple clamps and the clown makeup? She's a gabber, that one.

And no, I'm not, but I respect decent writing, and there's a lot of it here. You're right, there's no "Lost Agnes" this time, which I rightly gushed over last time. But there are lots of good stories. And I think the closeness of the competition makes it fun.

I'm not going to berate Cheever for not being Chekov; I'm going to enjoy the writing.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Furthermore, since the purpose of this is debate, I'm going to express what I imagine is sort of an unpopular opinion and say, as I indicated in the comments, that the most impressive piece in this batch may actually be one that doesn't crack the top 5 for me: "Of Roses and Thorns".

Execution-wise that story has some issues, but, conceptually, it's brilliant and, at points, it's a diamond. And even though the author didn't quite manage to get it all the way out of the rough, he or she has an awful lot to be proud of.

A little more polishing and it would have been breathtaking.

 

[patientlee]

Funny story.

I know the experts say that it's better to use words like "penis" and "testicles" with your children, but we're not good parents. Our boys call their private parts their "pee-ers" and their "nutty buddies."

We were in the car recently, and there was a commercial on the radio for a retirement community. Among the selling points was "plenty of fun-filled activities with your peers."

There was a pause, and then my 5 y/o son let out this low chuckle. It took a minute for the adults to understand what was so funny, but we were all howling when we realized that he was thinking about the fun things he could do with his pee-er.

As I said, we're not good parents.

Same kid stepped out of the bathroom yesterday, patted his thigh, and said, "Mom. My pee-er is over here." Me Lucky Charms almost ended up all over my computer. We laughed for 10 minutes.

 

[sr71plt]

There are just too many authors in this one that I have no idea about so here are my wild and woolly guesses without cheating from patientlee

Blind_Justice- Heirlooms of a wicked time
Sabb- cooking it up
patientlee- Inspiration and desperation
sr71plt – A craving for Brandy; Mesmerised
slyc_willie- The midnight ball; Escape
PennLady- An account for a bullet;
_Lynn_- Invasion of the orcs; Reunion
jomar – The sex manual
Jagfarlane- A Mile;
stlgoddessfreya- Mystery night
MSTarot – Of roses and thorns
drteetho- Knife, Book, and hankie
Sheablue- Arranged marriage; The games she plays
Tamlin – The true oracle
Aynmair- It’s Danielle’s Birthday
SecondCircle- Transitions
Seanathon – Empire of the stars
AMoveableBeast – Bluetooth;
Saxon_Hart- Lorelei’s call
Swilly – Kay submits to Bob
TxTallTales- Desperate times, Desperate measures

A Nope and a nope for mine.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Why, James, have you been talking to my girlfriend? You sly dog. Did she tell you about the nipple clamps and the clown makeup? She's a gabber, that one.

And no, I'm not, but I respect decent writing, and there's a lot of it here. You're right, there's no "Lost Agnes" this time, which I rightly gushed over last time. But there are lots of good stories. And I think the closeness of the competition makes it fun.

I'm not going to berate Cheever for not being Chekov; I'm going to enjoy the writing.

Youre easy to please.

 

[PennLady]

Furthermore, since the purpose of this is debate, I'm going to express what I imagine is sort of an unpopular opinion and say, as I indicated in the comments, that the most impressive piece in this batch may actually be one that doesn't crack the top 5 for me: "Of Roses and Thorns".

Execution-wise that story has some issues, but, conceptually, it's brilliant and, at points, it's a diamond. And even though the author didn't quite manage to get it all the way out of the rough, he or she has an awful lot to be proud of.

A little more polishing and it would have been breathtaking.

I have to agree. I thought that story was excellent.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Whoa. Sweep?

 

[FAWCker]

Whoa. Sweep?

Yep. Asked for it when the Nude Day contest started, but Laurel didn't get to it until this morning.

* * * *

Going out of town. See you all tomorrow night. Try not to spill any blood while I'm gone.






Oh, and so far, no one has correctly guessed which story I wrote.

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

There are just too many authors in this one that I have no idea about so here are my wild and woolly guesses without cheating from patientlee

Blind_Justice- Heirlooms of a wicked time
Sabb- cooking it up
patientlee- Inspiration and desperation
sr71plt – A craving for Brandy; Mesmerised
slyc_willie- The midnight ball; Escape
PennLady- An account for a bullet;
_Lynn_- Invasion of the orcs; Reunion
jomar – The sex manual
Jagfarlane- A Mile;
stlgoddessfreya- Mystery night
MSTarot – Of roses and thorns
drteetho- Knife, Book, and hankie
Sheablue- Arranged marriage; The games she plays
Tamlin – The true oracle
Aynmair- It’s Danielle’s Birthday
SecondCircle- Transitions
Seanathon – Empire of the stars
AMoveableBeast – Bluetooth;
Saxon_Hart- Lorelei’s call
Swilly – Kay submits to Bob
TxTallTales- Desperate times, Desperate measures

Though it is a very hot and well-paced stroker I'd be glad to have written, that one's not mine. Say, when are we going to see pl's lauded list?

 

[patientlee]

Though it is a very hot and well-paced stroker I'd be glad to have written, that one's not mine. Say, when are we going to see pl's lauded list?

I'm still working on it. Too many stories and authors. I still have some reading to do.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Wow. Look at "Roses". I knew I should have been an ad man.

 

[sr71plt]

Oh, and so far, no one has correctly guessed which story I wrote.

So, did you write "Sex Manual"?

And maybe Blind Justice wrote "Mystery Night"?

 

[Blind_Justice]

So, did you write "Sex Manual"?

And maybe Blind Justice wrote "Mystery Night"?

One of you had the right story, but this isn't it.

 

[sr71plt]

I'll just register the ones I thought were the best of the ones I read (all of the four pagers and under).

The top one was "An Account for Bullets." I can see where if someone knows the historical points (actually knows them), and there are discrepancies, that this would legitimately lower their assessment of the story. But I don't know the historical points at dispute and it all seemed plausible to me and didn't intrude on the read.

The next two, in my estimation, were "Inspiration and Desperation" and "Mesmerized."

A bit below these three, at fourth, was "Empire of the Stars."

At the level under these were "Sex Manual," "Invasion of the Orcs," "Escape," "Midnight Ball," "A Mile," "Cooking It Up," and "Lorelei's Call."

 

[xelliebabex]

Seems i got no one's right this time around, I didn't even pick Swilly's before he outed himself and i would like to think i know his writing. To be fair though he didn't pick mine either after half a dozen guesses. Perhaps the regulars are disguising themselves or like me wrote something that is not their usual fare.

 

[PennLady]

Definitely one of the best. Judging by the skill of the writing, I may agree.

"The Midnight Ball" is fantastic, as well. And I just love "Bluetooth".

You know, I was just looking over the stories and realized that "Bluetooth" is a story that used the opening sentence, but not the items in it. I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing, and in fact, it obviously took me a while to really register it, although I did read the story.

Not trying to re-open the previous discussion, necessarily, but just making an observation. And it was an interesting story.

 

[Blind_Justice]

Since you didn't mention "Reunion", can I safely assume you wrote that, Pilot? Because it fits your reading criteria of "four pages and under" at just over two and a half Lit pages and it didn't show up in your "charts".

 

[sr71plt]

Since you didn't mention "Reunion", can I safely assume you wrote that, Pilot? Because it fits your reading criteria of "four pages and under" at just over two and a half Lit pages and it didn't show up in your "charts".

Nope.

 

[patientlee]

You know, I was just looking over the stories and realized that "Bluetooth" is a story that used the opening sentence, but not the items in it. I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing, and in fact, it obviously took me a while to really register it, although I did read the story.

Not trying to re-open the previous discussion, necessarily, but just making an observation. And it was an interesting story.

I think she was blindfolded with the hanky, the book had his secret likes, and the knife was there if he chose to use it at the end. I think.

 

[Aynmair]

Here's my first pass at guessing authorship. I still have a few more to read, but I have to stop for now - they're all starting to blend together... This is really FAWCing tough...

1 Blind_Justice Reunion
2 Sabb Cooking It Up
3 patientlee Mystery Night
4 sr71plt
5 slyc_willie A Mile
6 PennLady An Account for a Bullet
7 _Lynn_ Lorelei’s Call
8 jomar Arranged Marriages
9 Jagfarlane Bluetooth
10 stlgoddessfreya
11 MSTarot Reunion
12 drteetho
13 Sheablue Inspiration and Desperation
14 Tamlin Of Roses and Thorns?
15 Aynmair
16 SecondCircle It’s Danielle’s Birthday
17 Seanathon
18 AMoveableBeast A Craving for Brandy
19 Saxon_Hart Mesmerized
20 Swilly Kay Submits to Bob (self outed)
21 TxTallTales Desperate Times and Measures
22 xelliebabex Heirloom of a Wicked Time

 

[patientlee]

Since you didn't mention "Reunion", can I safely assume you wrote that, Pilot? Because it fits your reading criteria of "four pages and under" at just over two and a half Lit pages and it didn't show up in your "charts".

I didn't read all of them carefully (I can't get into fantasy or sci/fi.), but unless someone was copying SR's style to throw us off, I think Knife, Book, Hankie is his.

 

[PennLady]

Aynmair -- I'm flattered, but no.

 

[xelliebabex]

Aynmair -- I'm flattered, but no.

I had you pegged for that one too PennLady.

Sorry Aynmair but your guess about mine was not right either, I am so not into horror even though that was a terribly well told scary tale, and it's far better written than i could have I think.

 

[patientlee]

Nope.

Here's my first pass at guessing authorship. I still have a few more to read, but I have to stop for now - they're all starting to blend together... This is really FAWCing tough...

1 Blind_Justice Reunion
2 Sabb Cooking It Up
3 patientlee Mystery Night
4 sr71plt
5 slyc_willie A Mile
6 PennLady An Account for a Bullet
7 _Lynn_ Lorelei’s Call
8 jomar Arranged Marriages
9 Jagfarlane Bluetooth
10 stlgoddessfreya
11 MSTarot Reunion
12 drteetho
13 Sheablue Inspiration and Desperation
14 Tamlin Of Roses and Thorns?
15 Aynmair
16 SecondCircle It’s Danielle’s Birthday
17 Seanathon
18 AMoveableBeast A Craving for Brandy
19 Saxon_Hart Mesmerized
20 Swilly Kay Submits to Bob (self outed)
21 TxTallTales Desperate Times and Measures
22 xelliebabex Heirloom of a Wicked Time