Erotica from India: Pregnancy by Male Surrogate: Story 2

[erotica_n_s]

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Story Title: "Niyoga"



To me, the highlight of this story was going to be a scene where the woman is having sex with the “stud”, while outside the room, a Hindu ceremonial prayer ritual is being performed. The ritual is called a "Purusha Suktha Homam", which is a prayer ceremony to ritually invoke blessings from the gods for the purpose of begetting progeny. The Hindu priests are chanting Sanskrit verses and incantations while casting sacrificial offerings of various fragrant leaves, oil and honey into the sacred altar of fire. The woman’s husband is required to attend the ceremony. The place is resounding with the Sanskrit chanting, which is interspersed by the woman’s cries and moans of pleasure and sweet pain. The husband’s heart is breaking, and he’s fighting back tears.


The story is titled "Niyoga".

“Niyoga" is/was a practice in ancient India (no longer prevalent in modern India), where a woman whose husband was unable to make her pregnant, could get pregnant by a male surrogate (what we might call natural insemination by a donor).

The female protagonist of this story is a young Hindu woman called Aishwarya. She’s a doctor by profession. She’s in her late twenties. She’s a surgeon – perhaps a cardiothoracic surgeon. She’s been remarkably professionally successful.

Name: Aishwarya
Age: 29
Profession: doctor – cardiothoracic surgeon. She’s in her last year of specialist training.

Up until the age of 28, she’s been very focused on her career. She’s incredibly good at her job. She’s a very self-assured, consummate, no-nonsense professional. Many of her colleagues look upon her was admiration and respect, even awe. Some of her colleagues are envious and perhaps resentful of her remarkable professional success. Despite being so good at her job, she always seems emotionally distant towards other people. Most of her colleagues know nothing about her personal life. A ring on her left hand suggests she is married. She rarely seems to smile, and when she does, it is a polite but cold smile, where her eyes don’t appear to smile. I wonder if such a woman might be called an “ice queen”?
Her father was a surgeon, but he walked out on her mother when Aishwarya was very young, leaving them for another woman, and Aishwarya’s mother to raise her as a single mother. As a result, Aishwarya has a strong subconscious resentment towards her father (and perhaps towards men in general?), and her career choice was perhaps motivated by a near-obsessive desire to outdo her father.

She has had two female colleagues whom she’s been “close” to. Even with them, she isn’t hugely talkative, doesn’t necessarily discuss her private life in any detail, but after a long day at work, if they want to talk to her, she will listen. They all went to medical school together. They like her and care about her, but even they realize that as an individual, she comes across as a decidedly reserved (or should that be “guarded”) individual.

At age 26, she had an arranged marriage, after considerable persuasion and pleading from her mother, who was growing anxious at her daughter remaining single into the latter half of her twenties. Aishwarya married a young man, a businessman. A good, kind-hearted man who fell in love with her the moment he first set his eyes on her. He is a portly man, innocent and gentle. Although he adores her, she remains cold and distant towards him. After their wedding, they share a home, but their marriage remains unconsummated for quite some time. He is saddened by her emotional coldness but loves her deeply nevertheless, living in hope that some day she will grow to love him as he loves her.

Both her friends get pregnant and have children. When one of her two friends has a second baby, that’s when Aishwarya starts to feel the desire to have a child of her own.

To her husband’s surprise, she expresses a desire for sex. But he has problems with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation (he’s not very good in bed).

Initially he hesitates to get medical advice, but she persuades him and after a few months, they go to the doctor. Tests reveal he has a low sperm count.

They try various treatment options for his low sperm count, with no success. Aishwarya grows increasingly desperate. For the first time in her life, she needs a man.

He suggests adoption. She is adamant that she wants to get pregnant. He reluctantly consents, assuming she will choose artificial insemination by donor. He receives the shock of his life when she informs him she wants to get pregnant by the Hindu practice of Niyoga as they are Hindus (even though Aishwarya hasn’t been all that religious up until now). Again, he pleads with her not to do this – understandably, he is greatly upset by the thought of his wife having sex with another man – but she has made up her mind. He therefore gives consent to this as well, because he loves his wife, and above all, wants her to be happy.

Therefore, for the first night (of seven nights of sex), a ceremonial prayer ritual is held.

I considered creating an audio track by merging Hindu chants with female moan sounds, and playing this as “background music” for the web page.


Your comments are invited.














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[DarkPleasures]

Your comments are invited.

The Story Ideas board is not the home for written stories, nor the home to seek feedback on stories. Did you read RisiaSkye's STICKY? And on another note, why was it every link for your "title" went to Wikipedia?

 

[LWulf]

Aha! A story without pictures. I have no problem helping with this.

"Niyoga" sounds an awful lot like cuckoldry.

Okay, and this is just a personal point of view (obviously), when I look at a foreign word, the harder it is to mold the word on my tongue, the harder it will be for me to enjoy the story. I don't have a problem with "Niyoga" because phonetically, it looks like it is pronounced "nee-yoga" (plus two points for me if that IS actually how to pronounce it).
However, Aishwarya is another matter. Now I'm not trying to say to change your character's names. You just want to add a blurb as a preface, telling readers to advance to the end of the story for pronunciations. Either you can do that or in-story, give a description of what the name means in English.
In my mind, doing either would instantly make a reader fonder of your story.

In a story, though I believe Laurel WILL put in a link if asked to, I doubt she will put a link to another website. That seems too much like spam. The reason I mention this is while I followed the link to Wiki for the explanation, I doubt Laurel will do that for the story during posting. Just describing that you MAY have to write out a briefer explanation of what "Niyoga" means.

Generally speaking, the term "ice queen" is reserved for unmarried women.

Okay, I'm a bit confused. Either she had an arranged marriage, usually done at birth or when she is young, or she met him later in life. They don't do arranged marriages halfway through life, right? Otherwise it just sounds like a marriage of convenience. Such things are still done (rarely) in the anglo-world too, typified by mail-order brides.

She's a doctor (and an exceptional, envied one at that) and doesn't have a POV about her husband's erectile dysfunction? Is that how things are done in India, because almost anywhere else, doctors have a bad reputation for being the worst patients. They try to self diagnose everything.

In my experiences, women, by and large, aren't "adamant that she wants to get pregnant" but more likely to be "adamant that she wants a child of her own."

While I think the Hindu chants might be a creative concept, I personally think the female moans are a bit over the top. YMMV.

 

[erotica_n_s]

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As always, thanks for the feedback.

Aha! A story without pictures. I have no problem helping with this.

Actually, I did have a picture in mind, of the scene where Aishwarya is anxiously/nervously waiting outside the room, just before she goes into the room to have sex with the "stud".

"Niyoga" sounds an awful lot like cuckoldry.

True. It's just the fact that in this case, it happens to be religiously/culturally sanctioned, and is being performed ceremoniously, seemed like an interesting idea to me.

Okay, and this is just a personal point of view (obviously), when I look at a foreign word, the harder it is to mold the word on my tongue, the harder it will be for me to enjoy the story. I don't have a problem with "Niyoga" because phonetically, it looks like it is pronounced "nee-yoga" (plus two points for me if that IS actually how to pronounce it).
However, Aishwarya is another matter. Now I'm not trying to say to change your character's names. You just want to add a blurb as a preface, telling readers to advance to the end of the story for pronunciations. Either you can do that or in-story, give a description of what the name means in English.
In my mind, doing either would instantly make a reader fonder of your story.

Re: pronunciation of "foreign" words - point taken, I think. You mean perhaps add a "glossary" somewhere?

In a story, though I believe Laurel WILL put in a link if asked to, I doubt she will put a link to another website. That seems too much like spam. The reason I mention this is while I followed the link to Wiki for the explanation, I doubt Laurel will do that for the story during posting. Just describing that you MAY have to write out a briefer explanation of what "Niyoga" means.

I can confirm I have no desire to "spam". I just felt adding some links would provide "background info/detail" to anyone who is interested.

Generally speaking, the term "ice queen" is reserved for unmarried women.

Okay, again, point taken. I just wanted to try and "subtly" emphasise the fact that despite being professionally successful, and self-assured, widely admired, she comes across to most people as an emotionally "distant" person. When her colleagues have tried to "get to know" her, e.g. asking her about her private like, a brick wall goes up. She is deliberately evasive, avoids letting anyone into her life. Of course, she doesn't have much of a private life. All her life she's felt anger. She's managed to channel it into professional success. But maybe that tough exterior hides an inner vulnerability...

Okay, I'm a bit confused. Either she had an arranged marriage, usually done at birth or when she is young, or she met him later in life. They don't do arranged marriages halfway through life, right? Otherwise it just sounds like a marriage of convenience. Such things are still done (rarely) in the anglo-world too, typified by mail-order brides.

Erm, actually, in India, the norm is - pre-marital romance is heavily frowned upon. When you're in your twenties (usually early twenties, but may be mid-to-late twenties for men), your parents try to find a match for you. Usually you're given a "list" of people they think would be "suitable", and you can go from there. But let me also say, India is changing, becoming more "westernised" - a good thing in my opinion. But I digress... The point I was trying to make was - people in India do indeed have arranged marriages in their twenties. Maybe you would call these "marriages of convenience". The point is, though, that this woman married the man primarily to please her mother, rather than out of love, whereas the man genuinely fell in love with her. It's a shame for him that she views him with contempt and perhaps a touch of derision.

She's a doctor (and an exceptional, envied one at that) and doesn't have a POV about her husband's erectile dysfunction? Is that how things are done in India, because almost anywhere else, doctors have a bad reputation for being the worst patients. They try to self diagnose everything.

Initially, she had no interest in sex anyway. And she's a cardiothoracic surgeon, she deals with heart problems. A urologist would deal with erectile dysfunction. It's the fact that he has a low sperm count which turns out to be the problem that they can't deal with (in some cases - as in this story - no cause can be found, and no treatment will work). And also - initially - when preparing to have sex with the stud, the only thing she had on her mind was - the utterly desperate, desperate desire to get pregnant. She wasn't really thinking about enjoying the sex. She probably viewed it as a clinical procedure. But after their first night of lovemaking, she begins to enjoy it. In fact, in one of the scenes, she is trying desperately hard not to climax, because she feels she is not supposed to enjoy the sex (despite her contempt for her husband, perhaps a part of her feels she ought to be a good wife?), but the stud quite deliberately gives her a forced orgasm, and after that point, she gives in and enjoys the sex.

In my experiences, women, by and large, aren't "adamant that she wants to get pregnant" but more likely to be "adamant that she wants a child of her own."

Well, okay, I just felt that this woman wants to have a child that is biologically hers, a child that she nurtures in her own womb, and gives birth to. But you're perhaps making the point that most women would probably be happy to adopt. Well, what can I say - maybe Aishwarya just happens to be different. I would mention that recently, during a discussion, at least two of my female colleagues mentioned that the happiest days of their respective lives were when their own children were born, suggesting that childbirth is a special experience for most women. But what do I know, I'm not a woman...

While I think the Hindu chants might be a creative concept, I personally think the female moans are a bit over the top. YMMV.

The sound of a woman moaning always turns me on. I just thought that the sounds of a woman's moans interspersed with Sanskrit ritual chants was, well, kinky. And as I said, I was trying to work out a way to create such a sound file, and "embed" it into a page (likely my own webpage) to re-create the "atmosphere" of the scene.









To summarise - the story is about a woman who goes through a roller-coaster of emotions to get pregnant. Initially having had no interest in even getting married, then having no interest in sex or romance, then wanting a baby, then experiencing helplessness and desperation, then at one point trying hard to keep the sex purely "cold and clinical", then experiencing sexual enjoyment, perhaps "sexual bliss", and finally getting pregnant and giving birth after nine months. Her husband has to experience heartbreak, which is cruel because he is man with a good heart, and did not deserve this humiliation.









Once again, thanks for all the feedback.









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[LWulf]

Actually, I did have a picture in mind, of the scene where Aishwarya is anxiously/nervously waiting outside the room, just before she goes into the room to have sex with the "stud".

If it is a drawing or computer rendering, that's one thing. For legal reasons, I don't support anything else.

True. It's just the fact that in this case, it happens to be religiously/culturally sanctioned, and is being performed ceremoniously, seemed like an interesting idea to me.

It sounds like an interesting version of that instance.

Re: pronunciation of "foreign" words - point taken, I think. You mean perhaps add a "glossary" somewhere?

My concept of a glossary is definitions, not just explaining how to vocalize, but perhaps that's just my error. I thought you should define terms in the story, in a creative, succinct way.

I can confirm I have no desire to "spam". I just felt adding some links would provide "background info/detail" to anyone who is interested.

I wasn't suggesting you were. If I had thought you were, I wouldn't be responding. The information came in handy to understand the development of the story. I was just stating an actual story shouldn't rely on something like that.

Okay, again, point taken. I just wanted to try and "subtly" emphasise the fact that despite being professionally successful, and self-assured, widely admired, she comes across to most people as an emotionally "distant" person. When her colleagues have tried to "get to know" her, e.g. asking her about her private like, a brick wall goes up. She is deliberately evasive, avoids letting anyone into her life. Of course, she doesn't have much of a private life. All her life she's felt anger. She's managed to channel it into professional success. But maybe that tough exterior hides an inner vulnerability...

This is not uncommon for American professional women too. However, just to re-emphasize the point which I believe you already understand, an "ice queen" is typically used to express an unmarried unapproachable woman. "Bitch" is generally used to express a married woman who is lacking interpersonal communication skills.

Erm, actually, in India, the norm is - pre-marital romance is heavily frowned upon. When you're in your twenties (usually early twenties, but may be mid-to-late twenties for men), your parents try to find a match for you. Usually you're given a "list" of people they think would be "suitable", and you can go from there. But let me also say, India is changing, becoming more "westernised" - a good thing in my opinion. But I digress... The point I was trying to make was - people in India do indeed have arranged marriages in their twenties. Maybe you would call these "marriages of convenience". The point is, though, that this woman married the man primarily to please her mother, rather than out of love, whereas the man genuinely fell in love with her. It's a shame for him that she views him with contempt and perhaps a touch of derision.

I wasn't trying to suggest otherwise but I guess that's how out of touch us westerners are. *shrug* We used to do similar acts here about 50-100 years ago, though we still didn't call them "arranged marriages," at least not that I know of.

Initially, she had no interest in sex anyway. And she's a cardiothoracic surgeon, she deals with heart problems. A urologist would deal with erectile dysfunction. It's the fact that he has a low sperm count which turns out to be the problem that they can't deal with (in some cases - as in this story - no cause can be found, and no treatment will work). And also - initially - when preparing to have sex with the stud, the only thing she had on her mind was - the utterly desperate, desperate desire to get pregnant. She wasn't really thinking about enjoying the sex. She probably viewed it as a clinical procedure. But after their first night of lovemaking, she begins to enjoy it. In fact, in one of the scenes, she is trying desperately hard not to climax, because she feels she is not supposed to enjoy the sex (despite her contempt for her husband, perhaps a part of her feels she ought to be a good wife?), but the stud quite deliberately gives her a forced orgasm, and after that point, she gives in and enjoys the sex.

In most forms of becoming a doctor, I believe they have to learn a basic concept before becoming a specialist. That she is exceptional, to me, means she didn't shirk off the basics until it got "more interesting" (focusing on her primary interests).

So, sex was more a means to an ends than the act of itself. I get that and it figures logically into the character's persona.

Well, okay, I just felt that this woman wants to have a child that is biologically hers, a child that she nurtures in her own womb, and gives birth to. But you're perhaps making the point that most women would probably be happy to adopt. Well, what can I say - maybe Aishwarya just happens to be different. I would mention that recently, during a discussion, at least two of my female colleagues mentioned that the happiest days of their respective lives were when their own children were born, suggesting that childbirth is a special experience for most women. But what do I know, I'm not a woman...

No, that wasn't my point at all. I was merely nit picking about the phraseology that I think expresses a woman's feelings better. Most women could pass entirely on the whole pregnancy concept, by and large; morning sickness, hemorrhoids, etc etc.
Emphasizing on the child being hers, opposed to the act of being pregnant, I think, describes their preferred emotional attachment better.

The sound of a woman moaning always turns me on. I just thought that the sounds of a woman's moans interspersed with Sanskrit ritual chants was, well, kinky. And as I said, I was trying to work out a way to create such a sound file, and "embed" it into a page (likely my own webpage) to re-create the "atmosphere" of the scene.

In thought, and that's why I said YMMV; initially, it probably might sound erotic (no pun intended), but if it was recorded by you and your woman making mad monkey love with the chants in the background being played, I'd agree, it is.

However, my thoughts were you would use sound bites of some abstract woman moaning, adding in some abstract guys chanting, all of which sounds less and less appealing to me.

*YMMV = means "Your Mileage May Vary." A redundant automotive commercial caveat used excessively to denote that "people's experiences may vary"

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

LWulf, I think you're approaching this story idea with a baseline faulty assumption; the setting is India, not North America or Europe. Everything he's described is, to the best of my knowledge, very common for professional women in India except, perhaps, the means of fertilization.

I think a glossary would be a crutch for getting around something that's a writing challenge instead, I.e.:


Aishwarya looked troubled but resolute when he brought her tea.

"I went to the temple by the hospital and spoke to a priest today after rounds," she took the steaming cup from him with both hands and looked at it rather than his eyes. "I asked him to schedule us for niyoga."

"Niyoga?" His own cup of tea was safe on the kitchen counter, otherwise he'd have dropped it in surprise. "But when you said you wanted to get pregnant I...I thought you meant in vitro. Or..something...medical? I don't know, Aisha. I just don't...you want to be with another man?" His heart weighed more than their house and hung limp in his chest.

"It's not that at all," she said, clipped and businesslike. "It's just so I...so we can have a baby. They've been doing the niyoga at that temple for literally a thousand years."


I may not be your typical reader, since I know poori from paratha, but I think anyone reading a short snippet of dialogue like that would have a pretty good idea how she intended to get pregnant and why he has a problem with it.

If it's a word that's common in Hindi or Gujarat or Sanskrit or what have you but not in English, the usual way to indicate it is to italicize it so the reader knows to look it up if they don't know it. Personally, I don't think you need a pronunciation guide for names, but I consider Aishwarya Rai to be as big and recognizable a movie star as Angelina Jolie.

Lots of women want to carry a child rather than adopt. For many, many women, pregnancy isn't just a means to an end but an experience essential to being a woman.

I've also never thought of ice queen or ice princess to only apply to non-married women, but that may be a regional difference in slang from where LWulf and I are from. English is a bizarre language.

Why I am curious about is that this story idea seems much like the others you've had and seems to have the same problem: you've got two great slices of bread but nothing to put between them to make a sandwich. What I mean by that is that you have thought deeply about your female characters' backgrounds and the reasons they have not wanted sex or been exposed to sexual pleasure before and the elaborate surrogacy system; you've got a plan for them after, having awakened sexually with the surrogate and gotten pregnant; but I've yet to see anything that suggests you know what you're going to do in between, when the woman has her multiple sexual encounters.

Perhaps you haven't written them out here because you feel like you have a good handle on exactly how you want them to go. If so, my apologies, carry on. I just don't get that impression from your posts.

 

[LWulf]

Uh no, I totally get that. My point was that all doctors are trained the same way. This is why a doctor can obtain work in another country and not say "What's a hemostat? I'm just a GP I don't need to use that in my practice" without needing to get re-educated. North America, Europe, Asia, should all be the same and if not, then I want to drop the foreign doctors I have been going to. Culturally, I'm sure there are differences. I'm not talking about culture.

I'll say this for the third and final time. I'm not talking about a glossary. A glossary is definitions. I want to know how to say the word instead of reading "Mistablybbl picked up the congrsyhatylhoobbastances and tried to bronkialitssyc with it."
Trying to read that will make me go... "Huh??" and bring my reading to a halt until I can get a handle on the pronunciation.

Now I DID say that a translation would help as an alternative, but that should be worked creatively into the story.

For instance:
"Zejneba was a pretty young woman who's parents proudly named her 'fragrant flower'."

Not saying that's a tongue twister, but when I see the foreign name, I start mentally supplanting "fragrant flower" for "Zejneba" and the story reads smoother and I don't feel so foolish while trying to work around one word.

I don't have a clue who Aishwarya Rai is but then I'm still trying to figure out who the heck Miley Ray Cyrus is besides being the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. Justin Beiber? Keep seeing his name, don't have a clue what he looks like or who he is/what he does.
Yeah, I'm that old and don't give a toss who the flavor of the day is.

You are, presumably, a female and that is typically a male reference to a woman which, you MIGHT overhear but not hear used often enough to get a handle on the proprieties of it's use.

However, I agree that slang doesn't really have a dictionary to define how it is properly used.
Even urbandictionary gives multiple explanations and uses (based on opinion than fact), yet it says "a beautiful woman who refuses sexual advances; frigid" It doesn't plainly say that it's a single woman, but the idea is "why would you be making sexual advances and getting upset if the woman is married or already has a boyfriend?"

If I was calling a married woman an "ice queen" then guys would say "Of course she isn't accepting your sexual advances you dolt, she's M-A-R-R-I-E-D."

 

[erotica_n_s]

...but I've yet to see anything that suggests you know what you're going to do in between, when the woman has her multiple sexual encounters.

Perhaps you haven't written them out here because you feel like you have a good handle on exactly how you want them to go. If so, my apologies, carry on. I just don't get that impression from your posts...

If you’re asking why I haven’t said much about the actual sex scenes, okay, let me get to it.

But first, let me mention that I am as interested in the emotions in the sex. The sex scenes would be boring to me if I didn’t care about the characters. The sex is interesting to me because of who is doing it, not just what they are doing.

Okay, about the sex scenes, I thought of a few points.

• Seven nights of sex, at least that’s what the stud/male surrogate is contracted and paid for.
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• At their first meeting, Aishwarya is so overwhelmed with emotion and anxiety, she runs away from the room even before they’ve had sex, before even getting fully undressed. I thought, e.g. the stud would touch her waist, she would gasp, turn around and run away. She would go home and cry, feeling helpless at her predicament. She would then come back the next day, having mentally prepared herself to try and be emotionally stronger. Or perhaps such as scene would be unfair to the stud, as he is supposed to be so virile that no woman can resist him, no woman would want to run away from him, so I’m not sure if I want to include such a scene.
  .
• Initially, Aishwarya has no interest in sexual pleasure. In fact, despite not having any great respect for her own husband, there is a part of her that perhaps instinctively feels it is improper/inappropriate/unethical/immoral for her to enjoy sex with another man. In theory, Niyoga should not be for sexual enjoyment. She approaches Niyoga with only one purpose in mind – she wants a baby. She has had to go through a lot to even get this far, and she is at the end of her tether. She is desperate. There have been lots of tears. A baby is the only thing she wants. She expects the sex will be “cold” and “clinical” – she expects she will just have to lie there, while the stud does what he has to do to impregnate her.
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• However, the stud is determined to make her enjoy the sex. Every woman he has ever had sex with has enjoyed the experience. He takes it as a personal failure if a woman doesn’t enjoy sex with him.
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• In addition, he knows that she does not intend to enjoy the sex. He takes a secret sadistic pleasure in breaking her will. He does not tell her that he intends to give her orgasms, he just does it anyway. Likewise, he knows her husband will feel humiliated when he hears his wife moaning and squealing as the stud floods her senses with purest carnal pleasure. He deliberately goes to talk to the husband after one of the sex sessions and apparently non-chalantly tells him that Aishwarya seemed to really have a good time (or something to that effect, to “subtly” yet cruelly, heavily and powerfully humiliate him), and watches Aishwarya's husband's face, wanting to see his humiliation and helplessness. The husband manages a weak smile for a few moments, and then turns away, his eyes welling up.
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• The first time they have sex, Aishwarya would be trying to avoid enjoying the sex. She shuts her eyes tight, and turns her face away from the stud. She would be mentally repeating a Hindu mantra to ask for strength and forgiveness from the gods, feeling alarmed, guilty and ashamed that the sex feels so good. She is trying to distract herself as she mentally repeats the Hindu mantra . However the stud has no intention of giving up. He keeps performing cunnilingus and playing with her nipples, and now the sensations are so powerful that mentally repeating the mantra isn’t enough anymore. She starts whispering the mantra and of course the stud isn’t giving up. He keeps performing. The sensations feel so good, and she realizes she is approaching orgasm. She now chants the Hindu mantra “Sri Ramajayam” in her normal speaking voice (i.e. no longer just whispering), utterly terrified that she is about to climax. The stud keeps going, and when she realizes that she is starting to slip over the edge, she stops chanting the mantra, and, fighting back tears, begs him, “Please stop! Please stop! Please stop…” and of course he has no intention of stopping. “Please stop, please stop!” she begs… “Please stop, please stop…” her voice trailing into a helpless whisper, tears running down her face, as she climaxes, sobbing, distraught with guilt and shame. The stud watches her face, pleased with himself at having broken her resistance. She is crying, he is secretly sadistically happy. Maybe one more episode of lovemaking during which he again gives her a forced orgasm against her wishes, and after that she surrenders, allowing herself to enjoy the sex.
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• The stud would talk to her during the sex scenes, getting to know her as a person, in a way no one else has been able to (no pun intended there). As he tenderly kisses and caresses her, she begins to believe that this man genuinely cares about her, and the way he has given her pleasure makes her respect him in a way she has never respected any other man. For the first time ever in her life, she is falling in love. She emotionally opens up to him, tells him about her most private thoughts, fears, desires, anxieties, as she feels safe, understood and loved with him, in a way she has never felt with anyone ever before. So there’s quite a bit of talking as they make love. I just felt that way the sex would have more emotional depth. Also, all the emotions that Aishwarya has - over the years - tried to lock away within the depths of her heart and soul, are now rising up with a vengeance. She is getting deeply emotional. All the pain and anger she has felt over the years is now being soothed by their hungry yet tender lovemaking, and I think Aishwarya will have tears flowing down her face for much of the story - tears of joy, relief, and profound gratitude with each orgasm.
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• Initially, I thought that as the sole purpose of the sex is supposed to be to get Aishwarya pregnant, they would only have vaginal sex. But then I felt that Aishwarya would begin to feel that she had a moral right to sexual gratification as a woman, even if it hurt her husband’s feelings - and in any case she has always viewed her husband with very little other than contempt and derision (at one point, maybe she felt a little bit of pity for him, but she changes her mind and decides she is entitled to sexual gratification, and allows herself to be "selfish"). So during the fifth, sixth and seventh nights, Aishwarya would ask the stud for more adventurous sex, and maybe they would have a bit of anal sex as well. Aishwarya is beginning to realize that she now not only wants to be impregnated, she also wants to be violated.
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• I thought during their last night (i.e. night 7), Aishwarya believes this is the last time she is ever going to have such delightful sex in her life, so she asks the stud for particularly passionate sex, and they have a heated, lengthy lovemaking session, at the end of which Aishwarya is thoroughly exhausted. Also, during this last sex session, Aishwarya performs fellatio on the stud as a "Thank you" present.
  .
• As in many of my fantasies, the sex scenes will have lots of breast play. Not sucking on her nipples, but caressing, fondling and kissing her breasts. Playing with her nipples with the stud's fingers while sucking on her tongue, etc.
  .
• So their first session of lovemaking (could be either night 1 or night 2, depending on whether or not she demurs on night 1) is the hardest for Aishwarya. Until night 4, it is almost entirely vaginal sex, with a fair bit of cunnilingus. During nights 5, 6 and 7, some anal sex too, and as noted, fellatio during night 7. Night seven is the most passionate sex session. From night 3 onwards, she begins to respect and trust the stud (in part because she feels she has no one else to trust, but also because - in her eyes, he has earned her respect and trust in a way no one else ever could).

So basically, yes, Aishwarya experiences a sexual awakening as a result of the sex with the stud. She had previously had no desire for sexual gratification. Her mind had been on other things. But after the ordeal of struggling with infertility and the anxiety she had before the sex, she is now emotionally glowing with warmth.

My point is, I really hope the ideas aren't so outlandish that people think I'm trying to write a sex comedy. I'm trying to write a story that is both heavily erotic and romantic, with the female protagonist experiencing a roller-coaster of intense emotion, but ending with joy for her, and heartbreak for her husband.

I want my readers to feel sexually aroused by reading my story (would appreciate feedback/suggestions on that – i.e. if you don’t find it arousing, how could it be made arousing? What changes could/should be made to the story?), and also feel happy for Aishwarya, and feel sorry for her husband. I want my readers to care about the characters as much as I do, almost as if they were real people.

And can I ask, how did you know what the “post-sex” plan was for this woman? I’m really curious…

Again, I had a few thoughts for this... maybe a scene in the epilogue where Aishwarya goes to a pet shop, buys all the caged birds, and sets them all free. Another idea was, a scene where the husband has to see a psychiatrist as he has been so intensely traumatised and heavily emotionally devastated by the experience of having to listen to his wife moaning with pleasure while having sex with another man... and there were other ideas too... there was one where a pregnant Aishwarya goes to a temple to offer worshipful prayers of gratitude to the gods... and there were other ideas.

Your comments are invited and will be ENORMOUSLY appreciated, all…

And I really would like to know what you were thinking of, Stlgoddessfreya... I’m really curious…





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[stlgoddessfreya]

Yeah, I'm that old and don't give a toss who the flavor of the day is.

I'm going to assume you're a man who loves beautiful women and make your day better. Aishwarya Rai's not a teenybopper star, she's an actress in her early 40s maybe who's starred in dozens of blockbuster movies - they just weren't produced in America. Also, she looks like this. I think she's fabulously beautiful.

http://www.fansshare.com/gallery/ph...Rai-Hot-Normal-Hot/?more=444889015?displaying

You are, presumably, a female and that is typically a male reference to a woman which, you MIGHT overhear but not hear used often enough to get a handle on the proprieties of it's used.

I'm definitely female. The women I know definitely use the term ice queen to describe a certain kind on emotionally unavailable, unapproachable woman. I do think it probably has a different connotation with straight men than it does with straight women. Interesting, interesting.

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

And can I ask, how did you know what the “post-sex” plan was for this woman? I’m really curious…

From your previous sexual surrogate idea posts and the way you've consistently described how you want the reader to feel about that characters. Seems like your general ending (not specific final scenes) is that the woman is pregnant or has had her baby, is awakened sexually but doesn't have a sexual relationship with her husband, and the husband is still sexually ineffective and some level of humiliated and emasculated.

 

[erotica_n_s]

Also, what would be the best way of getting this story picked up and written out by someone in detail?

I've posted several ideas on the "Story Ideas" board, but none of them have ever gotten picked up.

I would LOVE to see someone pick this up and write it out. I don't believe I'm ever going to find the time to do it myself (the same goes for all my story ideas).

If you know anyone interested in writing vanilla erotica, I'd be grateful if you would let them know of this story idea.

In addition, of course, feedback on my previous post would be appreciated.

 

[PennLady]

I don't know that the point of Story Ideas is to ask for people to write stories for you, although you can ask. Writers tend to have their own ideas, after all. Plus someone might pick this up and then write it their way, which isn't what you're necessarily after. It is a complex story, so I can see why you wouldn't have time to write it yourself, but it's also a lot for someone else to take on.

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

Getting the Story Written

I think posting your similar ideas several times and not getting any interest tells you what your chances are of getting someone else to write it for you. That's not to say there's anything wrong with your fantasy or no one else would find it arousing, just that of the small slice of people who read stories on Lit who also write stories there's an even smaller portion actively reading the forums for story ideas. None of those people have thought your ideas were exciting enplough to take on the project of writing them.

Considering these are your personal fantasies and you've wanted to see them fleshed out as a story for 10+ years, I think the best way to do that is to find someone on Lit with a style you like and see if they will write it for you on commission.

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

Finding the Story Arousing

There's a lot of ground between finding a story genuinely arousig and finding it unintentionally humorous. For me, personally, your story doesn't do much because I identify so little with your female protagonist. I can't imagine why a woman with so little interest in sex and a medical background would choose this kind of insemination. I can't imagine a woman so afraid of sex she runs away from a basic touch doing this, either. Women crying during sex because of their shame is not arousing for me - not this way, at least. I think a woman who's been sexually awakened but still has no relationship with her only socially acceptable partner, her husband at the end of the story is emphatically not a happy one. What, are his tongue and fingers and Adam&Eve account dysfunctional, too?

I understand that an enormous part of the turn-on for you is an idea of total and complete innocence of sexual pleasure and extreme shyness overcome by the irresistible charm and persistence of the surrogate, but that's so far from my personal experience that the story might as well be about a robot as a woman. Again, that's me. Other people obviously have different views.

 

[PennLady]

Those are good points, Freya. It also occurred to me that for someone else to write this, you'd have to find someone either versed in India and its history, or someone willing to do some research, and that's a big task in itself. I'd have to wonder, as you said, why a woman surgeon like this wouldn't turn to in vitro, or even adoption or surrogacy, although I could see the latter two explained away.

I had to wonder, too, about the husband. It's like he's done nothing to deserve this, and you have to wonder, to a point, why he's there at all.

 

[erotica_n_s]

Thanks very much to both stlgoddessfreya and PennLady for the honest and frank feedback. I really do appreciate it.

That having been said, I’d like to add a few more notes – I’m hoping maybe somebody will come along and decide to try and write the story out in full, so let me just add a few points.

… I can't imagine why a woman with so little interest in sex and a medical background would choose this kind of insemination…

She tried sex with her husband first because of a desire to get pregnant. Then, okay, perhaps as a couple they tried fertility treatment options such as IVF and ICSI (using her husband’s sperm), which unfortunately did not work (because the husband’s sperm were of low quality). Then perhaps she even tried one cycle of artificial insemination with donor sperm, but perhaps this didn’t work, either, maybe just a little bit of bad luck. Maybe a second cycle of artificial insemination by donor would have worked, but after two cycles of IVF, one cycle of ICSI, and one cycle of artificial insemination by donor, she was too emotionally drained to set foot in the fertility clinic ever again.

Some people, when they are desperate, turn to religion. Although I didn’t think Aishwarya was that kind of person, in this situation it turns out she does exactly that, and decides to try a process sanctioned by her religion. So, she’s tried other options already.

I understand that an enormous part of the turn-on for you is an idea of total and complete innocence of sexual pleasure and extreme shyness…

That’s quite correct, in some of my stories, the female protagonists’ sexual innocence and demureness/shyness during sex are indeed a big part of the “turn-on” for me. In many cultures across Asia, demureness in a woman is considered a very pleasing/attractive/likeable quality. However in this story, my female protagonist is not as “innocent” as the women in some of my other stories. She’s not shy. She’s not afraid of sex. She is just a woman who has, until the age of twenty-eight, had only one thing on her mind – professional success. That’s why she had little interest in anything else. She has not had any kind of interest in, nor desire for, sexual pleasure, but neither is she afraid of sex.

Women crying during sex because of their shame is not arousing for me

She certainly doesn’t think sex is “dirty”. She would not feel guilty if she was enjoying sex with her husband. She initially feels guilty about enjoying sex with another man, because she considers that to be immoral – because it’s with someone other than the man she’s married to, and that’s why she feels a bit of shame – again, only in the beginning.

…I can't imagine a woman so afraid of sex she runs away from a basic touch doing this, either...

She runs away, not because she’s afraid of sex, but because she feels humiliated to be in this predicament – she’s a respected surgeon, and now she finds herself in a situation where she’s about to have sex with a stranger. She's gone from being a respected, cool-headed, effortlessly self-assured, consummate professional, to being an emotional wreck. The months of hoping the IVF would work, only to be cruelly disappointed, then further hope in ICSI, then yet again with their first cycle of artificial insemination by donor, her husband initially trying to persuade her against the Niyoga - it's all driven her to the very edge of her sanity. And now, she's about to have sex with a stranger. She thinks, “Dear god, how did it come to this?” and feels sorry for herself. When he touches her, she feels aroused, and she’s almost disgusted with her situation – having to have sex with a stranger. That’s why she runs away, not because she’s afraid of sex. In any case, that scene is not an essential part of the story.

I had to wonder, too, about the husband. It's like he's done nothing to deserve this, and you have to wonder, to a point, why he's there at all.

I think a woman who's been sexually awakened but still has no relationship with her only socially acceptable partner, her husband at the end of the story is emphatically not a happy one. What, are his tongue and fingers and Adam&Eve account dysfunctional, too?

The husband is there to take my pain. All the bullying and humiliation (and my own anger) I’ve been through in real life, I’m trying to offload on to a fictional character (no, I’ve not been cuckolded in real life). Then again, may be the husband doesn’t need to get it so bad. Maybe he doesn’t need to be a pathetic wreck. Maybe he will be saddened, but still find the strength to deal with his emotions and move on with his life. One possible ending could be – he is present at the birth of Aishwarya’s baby, and vows to look after the young baby as his own child. Maybe that’s when Aishwarya’s burning hatred just evaporates in an instant, and she realizes what a good, kind man he is, and begins to love and respect him? That might be a happy ending?


Thanks all.


Oh, by the way, I imagine that Aishwarya would look something like this. In the scene immediately before she enters the room where she will have sex with the stud, this is how she will be dressed.



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[bi_sub_lady_doc]

well , your protagonist seems to have some features common with me.

 

[LWulf]

I'm going to assume you're a man who loves beautiful women and make your day better. Aishwarya Rai's not a teenybopper star, she's an actress in her early 40s maybe who's starred in dozens of blockbuster movies - they just weren't produced in America. Also, she looks like this. I think she's fabulously beautiful.

url removed for brevity

The women I know definitely use the term ice queen to describe a certain kind on emotionally unavailable, unapproachable woman. I do think it probably has a different connotation with straight men than it does with straight women. Interesting, interesting.

Apologies, I wasn't aware you were still talking to me. Yup, I definitely prefer a "model with a few extra miles on her," however, I've never been that shy about saying I'm also excessively picky.

This actress looks a little after Sophie Loren. I never found Sophie Loren to be attractive. Call me weird, you won't be the first. It isn't that she is Indian, because I knew this one Indian young woman (now, like me, she's old), who was drop dread gorgeous. Back to that actress, yeah, I've never seen any movies with her. Also, and maybe I'm presuming again, I doubt I would ever watch many movies out of Bollywood, considering my low enthusiasm for musicals.

I guess it was specious of me to presume that women never used the term.

****​

...aaaand considering the OP is now posting pictures in the story ideas, I guess that will end any contributions from me.

 

[LWulf]

Ah. That's why I lost sight of this thread... it was moved to story feedback.

Why a story idea was put into story feedback, I'll never know...

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

Ah. That's why I lost sight of this thread... it was moved to story feedback.

Why a story idea was put into story feedback, I'll never know...

I think the OP asked for it to be moved.

 

[DarkPleasures]

Ah. That's why I lost sight of this thread... it was moved to story feedback.

Why a story idea was put into story feedback, I'll never know...

Early on I commented that SI wasn't the place to offer stories for feedback. Perhaps the mod agreed and moved it?

 

[LWulf]

Early on I commented that SI wasn't the place to offer stories for feedback. Perhaps the mod agreed and moved it?

Aha! So it was all YOUR fault!!!

 

[erotica_n_s]

...aaaand considering the OP is now posting pictures in the story ideas, I guess that will end any contributions from me.

If it upsets you that much, okay, I'll take it off - not just yet - but shortly .

Please - "A picture is worth a thousand words". The woman in that picture - to my eyes at least - looks beautiful and graceful, but also delicate and vulnerable. That's the picture I wanted to convey.

That's one of the key elements of this story - a woman who has been a cool, calm, incredibly strong-willed, highly successful, almost effortlessly self-assured, consummate professional up until now - finds herself in a situation where it seems that there's is now something else she wants in her life, i.e. something other than scintillating career success - but it seems as if she can't have it, and little by little, hope is being taken away from her, and she is gradually growing increasingly distressed, more and more anguished, desperate, frantic and despondent. The woman in the picture, with her slender arms, her long, flowing tresses, luscious lips, wearing an elegant blue saree, looks beautiful yet vulnerable. Couldn't think of a better way to convey that than the picture.

However, as I said, I'll take it off in a day or two.

But I really am curious - respectfully , I agree, you certainly don't have to give me an explanation, but I really would be grateful if you could say why you dislike pictures posted in threads - after all it's not a sexually explicit image. Respectfully, it would help me to know - perhaps it's something we all need to be aware of.



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[erotica_n_s]

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"Emotional texture" of the story:




Pieces of music to convey the “mood” of various scenes in the story…

If you’re going to listen to these pieces of music, I’d suggest using a decent speaker system or decent headphones – I don’t feel laptop speakers bring out the beauty and grace of the music very well.

• "The argument"
• "After the argument"
• "Before the ceremony"
• "Epilogue"

"The argument" – this piece of music conveys the increasingly heated argument between the couple when the woman asks her husband to consent to the “Niyoga” ceremony. The music grows increasingly frantic, abruptly ending in silence, which represents the moment she breaks down in tears, feeling despondent that he doesn’t seem to understand her desperation. This breaks her husband’s heart – he cannot bear to watch her cry, so he finally consents to her requests.

"After the argument" – this piece of music conveys the mood of quiet relief and hope – some time shortly after the husband relents and gives his consent.

"Before the ceremony" – this piece of music represents the anticipation, the nervousness, even the joy as she waits for the ceremony of “Niyoga” to begin.

"Epilogue" – this piece of music represents the relief, reconciliation between the couple, as the husband declares he loves his wife and accepts her decision to get pregnant by another man, and the wife’s relief and joy at their re-union.

I’m still looking for other pieces of music for the other scenes…



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