New to… well, everything.

[Ladygagasbabe]

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[SweetGrey]

There's nothing wrong with being new to something! That means there's nowhere to go but up! As to the virgin thing, who gives a fuck? It's not really important. I know some virgins that make me blush with the things they say, and I have plenty of experience with sex!

Here's an order from a domme to you as a sub: Take that worry about your virginity and flush it down the toilet. It doesn't matter.

Welcome, and have fun!

 

[Primalex]

Hello there, I'm new to things. I'm new to sex (Yea i'm a virgin don't laugh), I'm even new to kissing- I'm new to all of it. I just feel so inexperienced, especially for my age.

So I guess I was wondering, how do I become not new to all of this? One thing I think I'm sure of is that I like girls, and I'm submissive.

In my opinion it's very unlikely that you do know this already.

When people feel unsure, they always look for guidance, a chance to get rid of responsibility. The fantasy to be used and told what to do is much hotter than the fantasy to get laughed at for doing something embarrassing in bed.

 

[KoPilot]

The general advice people here give to folks like you--and similar to the advice I got in my first post--tends to look like this: get used to the whole concept of relationships and physical and emotional intimacy before you dive head-first into BDSM. Figure out what kissing is before you do it without someone's hand around your neck, etc.

Also, figure out what "being submissive" means to you. That's pretty much the most important thing, actually, since everyone's idea of what being submissive means is different from everyone else's. And there's nothing worse than getting together with a d-type who's definition differs from yours and you try to fit yourself into it anyways.

 

[Ladygagasbabe]

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[Sir_Winston54]

The general advice people here give to folks like you--and similar to the advice I got in my first post--tends to look like this: get used to the whole concept of relationships and physical and emotional intimacy before you dive head-first into BDSM. Figure out what kissing is before you do it without someone's hand around your neck, etc.

Also, figure out what "being submissive" means to you. That's pretty much the most important thing, actually, since everyone's idea of what being submissive means is different from everyone else's. And there's nothing worse than getting together with a d-type who's definition differs from yours and you try to fit yourself into it anyways.

Thank you, that helps a lot!

I'd say more, but it's getting harder to type, so...
KoPilot's post, plus, look into books regarding "normal" relationships, talk to older females whose wisdom you trust (and/or males w/ the same quals if there are any in your circle) about how to start building relationships, then get out there and get kissed!

Take her arm on a busy sidewalk or crossing the street and make sure she gets some arm-boob! Let your hip bump hers as you walk let her know you don't mind being close to her (if you don't). (Sorry - brainfarted her "I think I like girls" statement.)

After a year or so of building a vanilla relationship or two, come back and report on your progress and let us know if you're still interested in adding a BDSM component to your life. I'll look forward to your progress report

 

[Ladygagasbabe]

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[PoisonedEve]

So your agenda goes from kiss to sex to BDSM? Or you are flexible about the order?

 

[Ladygagasbabe]

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[PoisonedEve]

It is actually possible in the reverse order

 

[Ladygagasbabe]

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[KoPilot]

Take his arm on a busy sidewalk or crossing the street and make sure he gets some arm-boob! Let your hip bump his as you walk let him know you don't mind being close to him (if you don't).

Pssst-- it was mentioned that they were into girls.

And sorry, I meant WITH a hand around your neck in my post. :Y

 

[seela]

Honestly, I don't understand the need to have vanilla sex before dipping your toes into the BDSM pool. You hear it all the time, you need to learn to walk before you can run etc., but who says you can't learn to walk while doing BDSM things?

The first time I had sex was also the first time I was tied up, spanked and slapped around. I loved it, he loved it, we had fun. The BDSM aspects were mild, very much in the shallow end of the pool. We talked about what we'd like to do beforehand and then we did it. I had been having BDSM fantasies for ages before that, so I really didn't see any reason why I should have started out having sex "the regular way" when clearly I was more into other things. I still don't see.

I didn't know I'm submissive, but I sure as hell knew what kind of sex got me going inside my head. The label game started later.

 

[Ladygagasbabe]

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[IrisAlthea]

Honestly, I don't understand the need to have vanilla sex before dipping your toes into the BDSM pool. You hear it all the time, you need to learn to walk before you can run etc., but who says you can't learn to walk while doing BDSM things?

The first time I had sex was also the first time I was tied up, spanked and slapped around. I loved it, he loved it, we had fun. The BDSM aspects were mild, very much in the shallow end of the pool. We talked about what we'd like to do beforehand and then we did it. I had been having BDSM fantasies for ages before that, so I really didn't see any reason why I should have started out having sex "the regular way" when clearly I was more into other things. I still don't see.

I didn't know I'm submissive, but I sure as hell knew what kind of sex got me going inside my head. The label game started later.

This.

I don't think there is a way around experimenting and sometimes stumbling and fumbling.
Try the things that seem appealing to you, make sure you know about possible risks involved and how to mitigate them and try to keep an open mind because what seems appealing can change over time.

 

[Ladygagasbabe]

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