A Poet Walks Into a Bar . . .

[butters]

*pours H a stout*

*looks at all the bottles, can't decide... moves in for a kiss instead to calm my nerves*

 

[HarryHill]

i'd probably die if i drank a pint of whiskey

so, when will you know? dates n stuff?

Too excited to do it right now, but very near what I said before. waiting fr your pm and laughing chipper

 

[butters]

Too excited to do it right now, but very near what I said before. waiting fr your pm and laughing chipper

yeah, go ahead and laugh, waterboy you wait.

 

[HarryHill]

yeah, go ahead and laugh, waterboy you wait.

Lmao, let's just sit here n get pissed

 

[butters]

Lmao, let's just sit here n get pissed

sounds like a plan *thumbs up*

don't think there's time to get the gardens tidied again - everything's growin' crazy. *shrugs* pour, man, pour...

 

[HarryHill]

sounds like a plan *thumbs up*

don't think there's time to get the gardens tidied again - everything's growin' crazy. *shrugs* pour, man, pour...

*pours two* Cheers! Fancy a game of darts? notice how the vernacular is creeping in?

 

[butters]

*pours two* Cheers! Fancy a game of darts? notice how the vernacular is creeping in?

cheers!

yup, you first ... i'm out of practice so you've an advantage, lol

 

[HarryHill]

cheers!

yup, you first ... i'm out of practice so you've an advantage, lol

*squints throws first dart, crash!* OOps, well it was an old light anyway. *fires the second, landing a foot away, drinks, throws the third, hitting the metal framing of the board and drops to the floor* I'm getting my range now.

 

[butters]

*squints throws first dart, crash!* OOps, well it was an old light anyway. *fires the second, landing a foot away, drinks, throws the third, hitting the metal framing of the board and drops to the floor* I'm getting my range now.

oh my *giggles*

where's the board? point me in the right direkshun i go this.... holy shit! i've a dart sticking outta my toe, harry

 

[butters]

ok, i feel very saintly rightaboutnow

holy, geddit? *points down at foot*

so, before my halo slips any further, i' best concede... concede, suckseed, whatevva

nite y'alls. x

 

[HarryHill]

oh my *giggles*

where's the board? point me in the right direkshun i go this.... holy shit! i've a dart sticking outta my toe, harry

*removes dart, places a Band-Aid on the wound * Maybe darts isn't our game, spin the bottle?

 

[HarryHill]

ok, i feel very saintly rightaboutnow

holy, geddit? *points down at foot*

so, before my halo slips any further, i' best concede... concede, suckseed, whatevva

nite y'alls. x

night butters

 

[butters]

*drops in for a swift half-a-lager before getting on...*

lots of activity over on the forum. good. me not taking part = not so good but i'm a tad preoccupied so not wasting time feeling guilty

conscience: aren't you forgetting something?
me: oh oh, whatdidn'tidonow?
conscience: *whispers* tod's review
me: oh holy shit. oops

 

[butters]

hokaaaayyyyy... *checks watch* yup, i've a date. with a pot of paint and a brush. laters, y'all

 

[HarryHill]

*drops in for a swift half-a-lager before getting on...*

lots of activity over on the forum. good. me not taking part = not so good but i'm a tad preoccupied so not wasting time feeling guilty

conscience: aren't you forgetting something?
me: oh oh, whatdidn'tidonow?
conscience: *whispers* tod's review
me: oh holy shit. oops

Bad butters, you are falling behind

hokaaaayyyyy... *checks watch* yup, i've a date. with a pot of paint and a brush. laters, y'all

..
Painting arrows from the tube station to your door?

 

[Tsotha]

*drops in for a swift half-a-lager before getting on...*

lots of activity over on the forum. good. me not taking part = not so good but i'm a tad preoccupied so not wasting time feeling guilty

conscience: aren't you forgetting something?
me: oh oh, whatdidn'tidonow?
conscience: *whispers* tod's review
me: oh holy shit. oops

Shame on you, butters' conscience. Let her forget doing things in peace.

PEOPLE, if you're going to reply to feedback, sending me an e-mail, please remember to sign it, or leave your e-mail address. Otherwise, I don't know what poem you're talking about.

 

[Matryoshka]

Stopping in for a drink...*slips up onto the stool and wonders why they always make them so darn tall* Orders a drink and after a long sip sighs, "Mmm, I really needed that."

 

[Tsotha]

Stopping in for a drink...*slips up onto the stool and wonders why they always make them so darn tall* Orders a drink and after a long sip sighs, "Mmm, I really needed that."

(a secret meeting during the night)

"So you see, with Harry leaving for a few days, things are going to change here, Guido." He took a long sip of whiskey, coughing. "First," he said, pointing toward the back room, "I'm putting a secret latch to open that damned door from the inside. No more popcorn for days for me."

Guido stared on, blank faced, chewing on a stem. What was the puny human saying? Guido was having trouble focusing on the incessant blabbing, but he normally just pulled the door off its hinges, so whatever.

"Second, no more shall we be under the oppression of single-height bar stools for vain aesthetic reasons." The pink-skinned human got up and proceeded to saw every stool in the bar, making them have different heights, all the while going "mwaha, mwahaha, so evil".

Guido didn't care. His beady eyes followed that strange creature, sawing away, but he couldn't be arsed to do something about it. What was the human even raving about, anyway? Guido had no use for different sized stools, or stools for that matter: he just sat on the ground and his head still towered well above the counter. Sometimes he sat on top of tables too, when he was in a mood. That tended to scare off the patrons, but wherever the gorilla sat was his stool. King of the jungle, king of the bar.

When the human finished, he stretched and headed toward the door, stopping to wear his artificial man-coat to ward off the cold outside.

"My work here is done, Guido. Changing the world, one bar stool at a time."

 

[Matryoshka]

(a secret meeting during the night)

"So you see, with Harry leaving for a few days, things are going to change here, Guido." He took a long sip of whiskey, coughing. "First," he said, pointing toward the back room, "I'm putting a secret latch to open that damned door from the inside. No more popcorn for days for me."

Guido stared on, blank faced, chewing on a stem. What was the puny human saying? Guido was having trouble focusing on the incessant blabbing, but he normally just pulled the door off its hinges, so whatever.

"Second, no more shall we be under the oppression of single-height bar stools for vain aesthetic reasons." The pink-skinned human got up and proceeded to saw every stool in the bar, making them have different heights, all the while going "mwaha, mwahaha, so evil".

Guido didn't care. His beady eyes followed that strange creature, sawing away, but he couldn't be arsed to do something about it. What was the human even raving about, anyway? Guido had no use for different sized stools, or stools for that matter: he just sat on the ground and his head still towered well above the counter. Sometimes he sat on top of tables too, when he was in a mood. That tended to scare off the patrons, but wherever the gorilla sat was his stool. King of the jungle, king of the bar.

When the human finished, he stretched and headed toward the door, stopping to wear his artificial man-coat to ward off the cold outside.

"My work here is done, Guido. Changing the world, one bar stool at a time."

Grinning and giggling like a fool over here. *Sitting on my 'new' stool and rocking back and forth to make the uneven legs tap on the floor. Tossing a piece of popcorn into the air and catching it in my mouth. Mmmm... Sliding a bunch if bananas over to Guido nodding at him*. Sometimes we don't understand the insanity but can appreciate the results. Cheers!

 

[HarryHill]

* walks in, looks at the line of barstools of varying heights, goes to the till and begins removing bills*

 

[butters]

well . . . this is "quaint"

and bloody funny

 

[butters]

where's that dastardly evil-doer? i wanna buy him a drink

harry, you gotta admit it's funny (but shrewd move about the cash drawer *nods*)

brb

 

[butters]

brings out tray of hot lamb samosas - dig in!

hi, matryoshka - what you drinking?

 

[butters]

*checks uk weather forecast for next 14 days*

oh 'eck

waterchild's gonna feel right at home. let's hope it gets better sooner than expected. *sighs*

 

[Matryoshka]

brings out tray of hot lamb samosas - dig in!

hi, matryoshka - what you drinking?

Hiya, I'm having JD Honey and sweet tea. I fell in love with it the first time I had it...it has a bite and sweet at the same time. What are lamb samosas? I'd google it I'm heading back to work already. Just popped on to say hi!