I told my wife this was pointless...

[AtHerWitsEnd]

Well, I'll lay it all out, but I don't think it will be of any use (self-defeatism is not a good way to start a post here, I know).

After almost 20 years of marriage, my wife has decided we can have a rather stagnant sex life. There aren't really any medical or other reasons; she just isn't interested in sex anymore (which is a total change from her a few years ago). We both love each other and I was pretty furious when she recommended a mistress. I will not be with another woman outside of our marriage.

So, she recommended I find someone to talk to here. I said it would be best if she thought it was such a good idea she should put the post. She said everyone will disbelieve any wife would ask for such a thing, that it was ruse written by a guy and told me to do it. So, here I am. Trying to prove I'm right. I guess.

So, I am a 42 year old married white male, a white collar professional, who still loves sex, but will not cheat on his wife in body. I hope to find a woman who wouldn't mind having a electronic only relationship with me, my wife knowing and able to read whatever you write. Yes, it would be a sexual relationship and hopefully of mutual benefit.

If all you are going to post or PM is snarky, I can't really stop you but ask you don't. This is quite embarrassing for us, but its the only outlet for me than living the life of a monk.

I have been told to put some of what I am interested in sexually here. If you are interested, I'll be more than happy to answer any questions.

 

[NiceNastyMann]

You know

This is brilliant - and I mean it sincerely. Good luck to both of you!

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

This is brilliant - and I mean it sincerely. Good luck to both of you!

Thank you.

 

[SexKitten93]

I'll play with you

 

[Monica_112]

Maybe you should say what you're looking for in a play partner

And maybe your wife should visit her doctor for a hormone check - she clearly loves you, this lack of interest is probably medical unless you have kids, then its exhaustion

 

[seth6138]

See that! Things are already looking up and its only 535AM EST!

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

Maybe you should say what you're looking for in a play partner

And maybe your wife should visit her doctor for a hormone check - she clearly loves you, this lack of interest is probably medical unless you have kids, then its exhaustion

Thank you for writing. She's been to the doc and all; clean bill of health. We do have kids, but she doesn't know why. We still are love birds and all in terms of affection, but that's it.

 

[photobuff56]

I'll play with you

Ohhh that would be nice

 

[gerrynylon]

Well, I'll lay it all out, but I don't think it will be of any use (self-defeatism is not a good way to start a post here, I know).

After almost 20 years of marriage, my wife has decided we can have a rather stagnant sex life. There aren't really any medical or other reasons; she just isn't interested in sex anymore (which is a total change from her a few years ago). We both love each other and I was pretty furious when she recommended a mistress. I will not be with another woman outside of our marriage.

So, she recommended I find someone to talk to here. I said it would be best if she thought it was such a good idea she should put the post. She said everyone will disbelieve any wife would ask for such a thing, that it was ruse written by a guy and told me to do it. So, here I am. Trying to prove I'm right. I guess.

So, I am a 42 year old married white male, a white collar professional, who still loves sex, but will not cheat on his wife in body. I hope to find a woman who wouldn't mind having a electronic only relationship with me, my wife knowing and able to read whatever you write. Yes, it would be a sexual relationship and hopefully of mutual benefit.

If all you are going to post or PM is snarky, I can't really stop you but ask you don't. This is quite embarrassing for us, but its the only outlet for me than living the life of a monk.

Hi, I was so glad to see your post. It mirrored my own situation perfectly. The similarities are startling, and I was resigned to just coping with it.
I really do hope you find someone to liven up your life, I feel like the same thing would help me, but I'm not sure. Like you, I was also part if a sexually exciting relationship, until a few months ago, and I would also never actually cheat on my wife, in the real world. I still get so many urges and I take care of them myself, yes.. I am a wanker. Sad eh???? This site has really helped me to cope, and I thank everyone on here for that. You are good people, sharing photos and experiences. Someday perhaps I may meet someone I can get physical with, again. But I really do wish you well, good luck.

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

Thank you to everyone for the nice word, advice and encouragement.

 

[imnauti]

Thank you for writing. She's been to the doc and all; clean bill of health. We do have kids, but she doesn't know why. We still are love birds and all in terms of affection, but that's it.

Might I ask how old your wife is? She can be completely healthy and still experience a considerable drop in sexual desire as she approaches menopause. Speaking from my own experiences, my early 40s saw a heightened interest in sex (some days I couldn't get enough!) but now as I approach 50, I find that I sometimes go a week or two without so much as a thought about it. If it is a concern for her, I suggest a follow up visit with a physician.

Best of luck to the two of you. I hope you come to a resolution that satisfies you both!

 

[LadyVer]

Good luck! It is disheartening and soul shriveling to deal with this issue in a relationship.

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

Good luck! It is disheartening and soul shriveling to deal with this issue in a relationship.

She's scared I'll leave because I still have my high libido. I'd rather look lopsided, with my right arm like Arnold Schwarzenegger, than lose her.

 

[curiousdreamer51]

Simple solutoon

Do what I do between sessions with my wife, become ambidextrous.

She's scared I'll leave because I still have my high libido. I'd rather look lopsided, with my right arm like Arnold Schwarzenegger, than lose her.

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

Do what I do between sessions with my wife, become ambidextrous.

Ha! You assume I haven't already. I might become Fleshlight's number one customer. Tera Patrick, Lisa Ann, etc. lol

 

[BoobLover78]

Is your wife hot? What's she like?

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

She is quite hot and very loving given what she wants me to do.

 

[Paradox]

Given that she suggested you find a mistress, I'm curious why you completely reject that option? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass. I sort of relate to your situation and I'm curious about your thinking process.

 

[amofiga]

So if your wife is giving you a hall pass to find a sex partner to suit your needs and desires, why don't you do it? Seriously. It's one thing to cheat on a partner behind his/her back and I can see why many people would not want this. You, you my friend, have a wife who has given you her blessing to find a woman with whom you can satisfy your wishes and still keep your home and family........IF (big IF) that really is what she's willing to give you. IF she is telling you it's fine to go find the perfect sex partner and stay in your warm home while she cooks and cleans and mothers the kids, then you have found nirvana. But enter the minefield carefully.

Your situation sounds too good to be true and as they always say, "If it seems too good to be true, it probaly isn't true". I couldn't think of a better way for a wife to strip a guy of everything he owns than by telling him it's ok to go find a mistress. Then after he does, she "catches him cheating", denies any "hall pass" YOU say she's given you as she drags you through divorce court and leaves you with nothing but the clothes on your back as you lick your wounds asking yourself, "could I have really been that stupid?"

I think you guys should try some counseling and try to figure out what's really going on with your marriabe.

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

She's been through multiple doctor visits of various kinds and we've attended counseling together.

I am sorry; I just don't think a mistress is right. Is there something wrong with me having different views on this than other people? She is the only woman I want to touch and hold. End of story. Yeah, that makes me a stick in the mud these days, but it's who I am.

 

[Thebee123]

Hmmm

So she told you to come here, correct?

Contact on Lit is virtual sin. View that as you may.

Perhaps she only wants you to "broaden your horizons" in your lovemaking?

If you love her, ask her what she wants.......

 

[NiceNastyMann]

She's been through multiple doctor visits of various kinds and we've attended counseling together.

I am sorry; I just don't think a mistress is right. Is there something wrong with me having different views on this than other people? She is the only woman I want to touch and hold. End of story. Yeah, that makes me a stick in the mud these days, but it's who I am.

It means you love your wife; you have reservations and concerns, and are likely afraid of what this might mean to your marriage. Sounds very reasonable to me.

On the flip side. Is your wife telling you to go off by yourself, find an online partner and not involve her? Or is it possible that she's curious, and might want to be involved in some way? I'm not suggesting that this is some prelude to a three way;I'm taking at face value she is not interested at the present in having sex.

If she's involved, then this isn't really a mistress situation.

 

[Paradox]

She's been through multiple doctor visits of various kinds and we've attended counseling together.

I am sorry; I just don't think a mistress is right. Is there something wrong with me having different views on this than other people? She is the only woman I want to touch and hold. End of story. Yeah, that makes me a stick in the mud these days, but it's who I am.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you and having desire only for your wife doesn't make you a stick in the mud in my eyes. Just keep in mind that you did start this thread stating your problem and looking for discussion so you probably shouldn't be surprised when people ask questions.

 

[AtHerWitsEnd]

I don't think there is anything wrong with you and having desire only for your wife doesn't make you a stick in the mud in my eyes. Just keep in mind that you did start this thread stating your problem and looking for discussion so you probably shouldn't be surprised when people ask questions.

I already got in trouble with the Boss for being too sensitive about some of the posts. Sorry for the outburst.

 

[NiceNastyMann]

I already got in trouble with the Boss for being too sensitive about some of the posts. Sorry for the outburst.

Okay, it's Friday and it has been a rather long week. This corporate persona you have adapted - which one of you is talking here?

I'm guessing him, not her?

So, both of you, find a lovely lady and have a nice flirty chat this evening! Just have some fun.