. I was hoping to engage JBJ in a serious debate instead of the silly ones he tries to provoke by being rude to people, cuz he is intelligent and I love to debate with him if he will be serious. Instead I got Lovecraft accusing me of ‘playing the race card’ and suddenly I felt like I was just brown, not a proper person who engages in debates out of their intellectual work, just someone who is always thought of as being brown. . 
It’s a shame, and I think he may have been sorry afterwards, since he never came back on this thread to pick up the argument some more. Of course, he is from a background where people do not say ‘sorry’, cuz that just would show they are weak and ripe for taking down. That’s a shame too. I admire his writing, and enjoyed editing his books. I know he appreciated the editing I did for him and it’s a pity that after this cruel set of jibes, I will not of course be willing to do so any more.
I stayed off the board a while because this comment hurt me.
Not the one about being a kept MILF. If only! LOL. If only it were possible for me to be kept properly in due proportion to the amount of work I do. If I talk about that here, it’s because I know there are other moms who come on here, although I hope none of them feel they are ‘kept’ because they spend time and energy taking care of children – the most valuable work in the world. Well, I not only care for my Fella and our daughter, but even for his parents and friends and others in his life. He can’t afford my just dues: my body weight in diamonds and vintage champagne, although he has recently stepped up his act to get me a few of the things I deserve in life.
Mostly of course, I get them myself, because I not only do 90% of the domestic labour around here, I also do a paid job.
Lovecraft accused me of being a ‘kept MILF’ and ‘playing the race card’ on the same day that my union was taking action against casualised labour. I contributed to their campaign with an account of some of the things which I suffer from because my work is done through casual contracts, and I can never be sure from one year to the next whether I will have a salary at all. Did I get into that situation because I am a ‘kept MILF’, ie a woman, ie, I do spend time at home putting effort and energy into Piglet? I don’t think so. I think it was because people think like Lovecraft does, they just think of me as ‘brown’.
I came on this thread and posted something out of my work, as an academic in race studies. I didn’t come on and say to JBJ ‘you’re wrong, I think that because I have a brown heart’ – or more appropriate to this board perhaps, ‘a brown bottom’
I am not Miss Smith. I am Dr. Smith. Wherever I work, I have to remind people of this. Often in jobs where I had to have a PhD to go and work there. Here is one of the scenarios I had to face in one institution:
Pompous manager: “Well, Naoko, do you really think you could teach quantitative methods?”
Dr. Smith: “Uh, but I’m already teaching them.”
Then they decided not to redeploy me to that job, the reason given being that my research was not sufficiently up to scratch, even though I was already in a research and teaching post, and the job advert stated that it would be an advantage if you were doing research in race and ethnicity.
I don’t always mind being thought of in terms of my ethnicity, of course. The right kind of man can make me feel like a cross between a geisha and a houri and I will love it. But Lovecraft is too young to be the right kind of man for that. Often I prefer to say I am an ex-rugby player with mommy fat, in hopes that I will be allowed to be witty and say intelligent things about people’s stories and invited to edit and stuff, instead of just bringing in the tray of snacks in an elegant and silently sexy manner
Race is like the poster child in the United States. The Civil Rights movement brought it to the forefront of American politics, and other areas of life where people suffer got ignored. I think class in particular gets little attention in the States, where supposedly there is opportunity for anyone. It can be hard to get it recognised that making good from a poor background, whether white or black, is a tough struggle. I feel sad to see people trying to figure that out by having a go at black and minority ethnic communities. (JBJ does not do that, of course, he is way too smart. They made him suffer at college cuz he was so smart the Perfessers kicked his ass while pretending to encourage his intelligence.)
I still feel a bit ‘brown’ on the board now, but I will get over it. No no, dahlinks, just the one tissue will do. I am used to being made to feel ‘brown’.
If you do what I and numerous other people on this forum do -- which is to take the kid's ass-talking as only so much ignorant blabbering -- then you would never have reason to be bothered by his words again.
As for the rest:
I see no reason why you should feel "brown," but obviously, you've been insulted and everyone comes to terms with that in their own ways. You'll be a stronger woman, I know.
Well and appropriately said, Naoko.
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