Daughters of the Moon

MiriamL

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An eighteen year old girl is enrolled by her parents in a very exclusive private school where she becomes curious about a secretive club long established among the top female students, known as the 'Coven of the Black Candles'.

An shadowy group practising a form of witchcraft intended to draw power and influence from occult supernatural sources.

Gaining the trust of one of its members, she is cautioned that initiation is VERY difficult, requiring full commitment of both body and soul.

"What must I do?" She asks...and its carefully explained that to earn a place in the coven requires that she seduce the father of another full member! A man who knows nothing of his daughter's arcane involvement.

The potential plot twists are rampant on the road to her ultimate embrace of their darkest secrets at the highest levels of society.
 
Another thread that the title has nothing to do with what is described.

It would mean something if the name of the coven was the daughters of the moon, but no. :headdesk:
At first glance at the title alone, I thought cool, a story about a group of lunar girls, but I see then it's about a coven.
Backpedal. Okay, it's about the occult, so either their coven is called that or their goddess is represented by the moon, but no on both accounts.
Backpedal, again. Maybe called the daughters of the moon because it's about butt sex!?
:rolleyes:

Well, aside from that silliness, this concept looks interesting ...then again, plot-hole number 1 is if there are an even number of full members, and each one of them had to sleep with another member's father to gain entrance, who does a new member have sex with? If it's one of the other members' fathers, then one lucky bastard gets to sleep with 2 members. I suppose this plot-hole might be countered by a spell to make the father forget he had sex with a daughter.

Interesting. I've been thinking of writing up one of these story ideas that others are asking to be made into a story. It might help me get out of the literary doldrums I seem to find myself in. The only trouble I'd have is putting myself into the head of an 18 year old girl trying to seduce a guy old enough to be her father.

Tricky...
 
Maybe called the daughters of the moon because it's about butt sex!?

LOL!:rolleyes:

Well its interesting to note the statistics on bizarre human behaviour during the full moon, so is it any wonder that this popular moniker would stick with those who are unaware of the coven's true name and identity?
 
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The principle behind the rites of initiation is that the coven derives its power from the sensual act itself, so each new girl must prove that her powers of seduction are strong enough to overcome even the strongest social taboos.

In other words, she must be able to play with fire...and WIN!
 
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No, I get it. I have played AD&D long enough to know that sex plays a greater part in the mystical arts. Well, either it was AD&D or the bastardized version of the necromicon mixed with the Karma Sutra. :D

Do you get what I was talking about the plot hole?

Let's say there are four members, and for kicks, each slept with one of the others' fathers:
A slept with B's
B slept with A's
C slept with D's
D slept with C's

Then along comes E and she has to sleep with who's dad? A,B,C & D's dads have all slept with one of the daughters. So one of the fathers sleeps with 2 daughters. This would fix when F comes in because she can sleep with E's dad who hasn't gotten a chance up at bat with any of the girls, but then you are in the same fix again when G comes into the coven.

Like I said, the way you could fix this is if there was a memory spell to erase the dad's memories because if they all sleep with more than one daughter, then they will know something is up.

****​

You DO know that the hogwash about the lunar cycles is just that, hogwash. The cycles of the moon is just the reflection of what light is shown on it minus the shadow of the earth. The moon doesn't really go away; it's always a full sphere whether we can see it or not, every day of the year.

In other words, it's completely a figment of an overly creative imagination.
 
Then along comes E and she has to sleep with who's dad? A,B,C & D's dads have all slept with one of the daughters. So one of the fathers sleeps with 2 daughters.

Who said anything about sleep???;)

Honestly, I dont think the gentleman in question will be filing a complaint with any regulatory commission after being seduced by two luscious schoolgirls at the top of their game.
 
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...then again, plot-hole number 1 is if there are an even number of full members, and each one of them had to sleep with another member's father to gain entrance, who does a new member have sex with? If it's one of the other members' fathers, then one lucky bastard gets to sleep with 2 members...

One of the original members was raised by her gay biological father. She was adopted by his male spouse. Thus, there's always an extra father available - until they admit a member whose father is deceased.

Granted, the seduction thing gets a bit difficult here, but there's no law that initiation rites have to be easy.

Come to think of it, since they're witches, the fact that one father is dead may not be an insurmountable problem.
 
Come to think of it, since they're witches, the fact that one father is dead may not be an insurmountable problem.

Sure, just raise him from the Pet Sematary for a good zombi rut.

Hmmm, need the dads be biological fathers? Tracking down bio-dads can be a bother. Magic would help, sure, maybe better than detectives. But yeah, raise some dead dads and (granddads etc) in ectoplasmic form -- and get slimed.
 
High school cheerleading is one of those public events where a girl can put all that sugar and spice on display for her Dad, while still keeping up appearances of being an innocent upholder of school spirit.

So what better place for this particular form of seduction to take hold as an enticing prospect in the mind of its target?

The father in question attends the event and notices something odd. All the girls are looking right at the audience during their performance (including his adorable daughter)...except for one of the girls, who is staring straight at him the whole time.

His own attention is gradually riveted...much encouraged by a sequence of VERY risque burlesque style dance moves!
 
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Perhaps if there were several candidates for the secret club, perhaps that would fix the problem with one of the father's being double dipped. The new girls have to seduce each other's fathers...which brings up some plot twists of jealousy and backstabbing...especially as the title character is really winning the affections of a competitor's father...OR...she is getting unhinged because she knows some backstabbing co-inductee is trying to blackmail her affluent father...threatening to expose daddy's weakness to protagonist's mother.
 
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Perhaps if there were several candidates for the secret club, perhaps that would fix the problem with one of the father's being double dipped. The new girls have to seduce each other's fathers...which brings up some plot twists of jealousy and backstabbing...especially as the title character is really winning the affections of a competitor's father...OR...she is getting unhinged because she knows some backstabbing co-inductee is trying to blackmail her affluent father...threatening to expose daddy's weakness to protagonist's mother.

"This is the second time one of my daughter's friends has seduced me. Should I simply take it as a compliment or should I consider looking into this supposed "secret club" she has joined recently? Maybe even casually ask if something like this has happened to a few of her friend's fathers to see if something similar happened to them? Hmm..."

Finally! Someone gets that you will always have a potential even number of members to fathers (or if one father is dead, then it will happen on the odd number) and then that means (at least) one father will get "double dipped." I had considered Gaslamp's option to have multiple members applying but I was trying to work to the OP's storyline that only one new member applied. :eek:

Though the blackmail angle is interesting, I think it has more the potential to backfire and expose their secret society. Thus, when the coven got word of the situation, would oust the blackmailer "The Craft" style.
 
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The new girls have to seduce each other's fathers...which brings up some plot twists of jealousy and backstabbing.

The particular kind of jealousy common among high school girls is one of motivating factors for new membership. New girls see existing members of the coven as the 'elite'...the alpha girls who always get the cutest guys, win all the awards for extracurricular activities, and never seem to score less than an A, in spite of doing little, if any, homework.

What is the secret of their success?????


This is the question posed by Gretchen, in a quiet moment, after having befriended Olivia...who pauses for a long thoughtful silence.

Finally, she speaks in slow hushed tones with a glazed look in her eyes, as if lost in a cultic trance.

"There is a price my dear...only those blessed with devotion and desire...are fit to bear the sign of the sacred coven."

And with that, she exposes her right ankle, revealing a small tattooed glyph.
 
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Gretchen...good name for main protagonist. I take it that these are all very wealthy families.

It will be interesting to know why Gretchen is seen as a candidate. Also, what influence does the coven itself seek? I'm imagining that boys and grades are just a teaser for greater things...and perhaps this local coven is under the covering of a larger and far more influential body of practitioners. Girls who get in are set for success and placed into positions of authority.

Good premise you're working from....
 
It will be interesting to know why Gretchen is seen as a candidate. Also, what influence does the coven itself seek? I'm imagining that boys and grades are just a teaser for greater things...and perhaps this local coven is under the covering of a larger and far more influential body of practitioners. Girls who get in are set for success and placed into positions of authority.

Good premise you're working from....
Thanks, yes these are all good points. The local coven of course turns out to be a sub-set of a larger secretive culture of occult influence. Some of the parents and high school staff are involved, and some fall prey to the creeping indoctrination through their own offspring.

As a sub-plot, we could have Gretchen's new boyfriend discovering that his mom has started leaving the house at strange hours of the night. He attaches a GPS device to bottom of the family car, and it reveals she is travelling to the old Radcliffe House on the edge of town.

One of the first mansions built by a lumber magnate over a century ago, it now appears to be abandoned, after having passed into the possession of an anonymous buyer from New Orleans. A man no one has ever seen!
 
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I see Gretchen as being curious and smart. Sort of a Nancy Drew kinda girl. I don't see her as being a dumb Doris that wonders how the A+ girls get by without doing homework (btw, I was an A+ student that never did homework. This happens often in private schools). I don't see it as revenge but like I said, she notices little telltale things then she does some investigating, like going through books at the library, and starts to suspect the coven's existence.
Just suggesting.

Private school kids are rarely dumb. All of them are usually hard pressed to perform from high pressure parents.

I'm not sure how thoroughly expanded you are looking to make this story. Bringing in various boyfriend and secondary and tertiary characters is indicative of a novel. I think it also takes away from these private school elite, that there are older people involved in their coven.

Question; is the witchcraft just wiccan rites (basically herbology) or are we talking about authentic witchcraft (levitation, mind control, etc)? I don't see a lot of suggestions describing actual witchcraft...
(not that I have been forthcoming either besides the memory spell)
 
As a sub-plot, we could have Gretchen's new boyfriend discovering that his mom has started leaving the house at strange hours of the night. He attaches a GPS device to bottom of the family car, and it reveals she is travelling to the old Radcliffe House on the edge of town.

One of the first mansions built by a lumber magnate over a century ago, it now appears to be abandoned, after having passed into the possession of an anonymous buyer from New Orleans. A man no one has ever seen!

Interesting subplot. I wonder what the mysterious man's relationship to the coven.? Perhaps he establishing an antagonistic party to the coven's plans, someone with revenge on his mind like Edmond Dantes...and manipulating boyfriend's mother to get a foothold. Only a suggestion....:)
 
I see Gretchen as being curious and smart. Sort of a Nancy Drew kinda girl. I don't see her as being a dumb Doris....
I agree. We are accustomed to "cypher" characters where it's easy to insert yourself in the situation...it would be nice if lead character had some complexity...and not be just a blank slate. UNLESS blank slate is what you are aiming for...
 
I see Gretchen as being curious and smart. Sort of a Nancy Drew kinda girl. I don't see it as revenge but like I said, she notices little telltale things then she does some investigating, like going through books at the library, and starts to suspect the coven's existence.

I dont know anything about Nancy Drew, but what you describe is exactly what happens in one of my favourite films...SUSPIRIA...directed by Dario Argento (1977).

It follows the story of Suzy Banyon who enters the famous Tam Dance Academy in Europe, only to find that all is not quite right among the staff and students. Strange and malefic events happen suggestive of witchcraft, and Suzy is inspired to seek academic help in the form of Professor Millius, an authority on the occult.


This is an archetype in literature we could call the 'Sage'...an outside source of knowledge who helps the protagonist fill out the backstory while giving clues to its eventual resolution.

The scene appears at the 1:12 mark in this great film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onTYKt5lFNU


"Might there exist a guild of witches?"

"The correct term would be a coven of witches. A woman becomes queen if her magic is a hundred times more powerful than the rest of the coven....which is like a serpent. Its strength rests with its leader, that is with its head. A coven deprived of its leader is like a headless cobra...harmless!"
 
I dont know anything about Nancy Drew, but what you describe is exactly what happens in one of my favourite films...SUSPIRIA...directed by Dario Argento (1977).

...

This is an archetype in literature we could call the 'Sage'...an outside source of knowledge who helps the protagonist fill out the backstory while giving clues to its eventual resolution.

My understanding of witchcraft is that you don't assert yourself better than another in the coven. The only way to becoming more powerful in a coven is to, as the phrase goes, make a deal with the devil.

I don't see how "exactly" that is what I suggested, because I was trying to suggest NO faculty was associated with the coven, whereas the referenced movie you said the faculty is the coven.

Yeah, concepts like "the sage" are recurrent in a lot of films, like (almost any) kung fu movies, or star wars, etc.

The problem with that concept is, again, that takes the smartness away from the main character, defaulting to the knowledge of the sage. Which, again isn't what I was trying to suggest at all.

Nancy Drew was an investigator herself. She muddled through finding out what was going on by herself (usually murder mysteries). The reason I mentioned her was just to describe the type of person the main character is. That the character found out the coven not by invitation but by deducing it was there by the bread crumbs that led her to them. The result would be that the coven invites her in.

That you misunderstood everything I have been trying to say in this really, almost from the start, takes the wind out of my sails in helping any further with this story line.
Good luck.
 
My understanding of witchcraft is that you don't assert yourself better than another in the coven. The only way to becoming more powerful in a coven is to, as the phrase goes, make a deal with the devil.
Various cultures and subcultures possess different witchcraft traditions. The proposed story MAY adhere to a well-known paradigm, like a popular distorted view of wicca. Or, an author can choose or invent another rite, which MAY include covens, or maybe groups more like packs or ad-hoc teams.

The sponsoring secret society may be an ancient mystery religion based somewhere in the ancient Mediterranean or MidEastern world, a subtle worldwide conspiracy not dominated by Anglophones.

The society may be struggling silently with other secret societies with other cultural foundations, maybe East Asian or MesoAmerican. Novice covens/cliques/gangs of each secret society exist in the story's elite private school; candidates are competitively recruited by each group. So, the Daughters of the Moon must contend with the Sisters of the Raven and the Dancers of the Sea. All have their sexual initiation rituals. Whole lot of seduction going on!
 
I wonder what the mysterious man's relationship to the coven.? Perhaps he establishing an antagonistic party to the coven's plans, someone with revenge on his mind like Edmond Dantes...and manipulating boyfriend's mother to get a foothold.
Well most of my favourite novels use what could be called a 'dual plot path'.

That is, the story starts out with one main character on a certain trajectory, and then a second protagonist comes into the picture and starts a different path...like a fork in the road.

Suspense is created when the two paths converge at the climax (orgasm) of the narrative. While the last chapter (afterglow) is when all the loose ends and question marks raised are finally put to rest.

I see the mystery man remaining a mystery until the bitter end. Is he really an anonymous investor from New Orleans...or was that rumour just a ploy to divert attention away from his real identity???

I've noticed that occult involvement at the lowest most popular levels is always used as bait for a more secretive purpose.

The initiates are promised some variety of fleeting power or fame , but in the end, they are consigned to a far more permanent form of enslavement.

We might recall how Billy Ray Cyrus came out in the press and stated that his daughter Miley was under attack by Satan...and clearly, she was promised much to become the very willing media whore she is now.

Just a few months later. she rocketed to fame as Daddy's perfect princess turned into everybody's perfect angelslut...stuffing her picture perfect ASS in the camera wherever she goes.

Her father was right...his daughter made a deal with the dark side!
 
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This is interesting...somebody sent me a link to a Japanese DVD with the similar theme of a secret highschool girl's club who target older men for seduction as a way of gaining occult power.

Can you imagine, the shock of finding out that your longtime golfing partner has been seduced by your own daughter...with erotic tricks even your wife doesnt know!
 
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If anybody is interested in the title mentioned, it's

キラカワ☆E学園 or Kirakawa ☆ E School
 
According to a recent academic survey collage age girls tend to label sexual relations in a positive or negative light based on social status more than any other consideration.

In other words, if you fuck around with lots of guys you are NOT a SLUT...as long as the guys are wealthy, or come from wealthy high status backgrounds.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto...on_how_college_women_decide_who_s_trashy.html

Well, we didn't need a survey to figure that out, and its also the principle that lies at the heart of this story of power and influence attained through the miracle of sexmagic.

As an opening scene, we see a gentleman in his fifties settling down in his home office with a fresh cup of coffee. A typical sunday morning, except opening his email there appears a message from an unknown address with a GIF file attached....and only nine words.

"Do you know where your daughter was last night?"

http://postimg.org/image/5rnth5253/

Turns out, as the story unfolds, that enormous mystery erection gushing heavenly sperm into his daughter's mouth belongs to his boss at the insurance company where he works.

Her parents had always tried to stress the importance of dating the "right" kind of boy...looks like she went right over his head!!!
 
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