Female mob boss blackmails a detective
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Sean Renaud
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The question kinda becomes the sex here. Women might have a hard time getting in bed with Mr. Right but they don't have a hard time getting into bed in general. Which just makes female on male non-con interesting. Not impossible mind you but your scenario thus far doesn't seem to hold up.
loquere
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No, I don`t like the idea of her inheriting it. Make her earn it with hard work. Her inheriting it still has an undertone of patriarchy.
-She could be a good girl gone very very bad.
-She’s a Police Lieutenant, who gets disenchanted with the revolving door bureaucratic system that solves nothing, while civilian deaths are skyrocketing. Understanding the supply & demand of drug trade she decides you can’t defeat it but you can manage it. Using a go between she blackmails a group of corrupt cops & threatens two gang leaders into building her mob empire.
-At first she takes over territory by arresting her competition, instead of killing them.
-The arrests earned her promotion to Captain, allowing her to protect her new drug territory, while making deals with the remaining gangs to leave them be legally & forcefully, if rules are followed.
-The police force doesn’t know who this new boss is; only that power has been consolidated under one person.
-The detective investigating her is her former partner & current lover. He doesn’t know who she is.
Sean Renaud
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Not that the above is bad but inheriting the power doesn't really make it a patriachy in anyway at all that would damage the girl and it's more realistic that the power remained in the family than that some outsider showed up.
LadyVer
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I like it! The father groomed her to take over because there are no sons. She has natural leadership abilities. She's 6' with a a black belt in karate, an expert with guns, and has an MBA. She's also got a background in art history... her minor, which she used to intern at several museums. Her passion is acquiring stolen works of art. Some she keeps for aesthetic reasons.
I'm not a fan of twisting ideas into something drastically different than the OP's idea, so I really hate myself now. Nonetheless, I wanted to get this out:
Mob gets a new leader, the mentioned daughter of the ousted boss. Police (led by the investigating detective) learn of the change and look into the new face. She's quite the looker and smart as well, but that's not the fascinating thing about her.
Turns out she might not even want the job; she was just hoisted into it because her father wanted things in the family. She's been around it all her life and knows the organization's inner working, but may not want to be there anymore with her father gone. That's her story anyways.
The mob pulls a heist (or some criminal act) and she claims to have nothing to do with it. Her dad's former inner circle took it upon themselves to pull the stunt. Detective is caught in a situation where he doesn't know to trust her. The mob's the mob, but does a new big boss - a female - mean anything? Is there a power struggle? Sexual tension, lies, deception, and double crosses ensue.
Mob gets a new leader, the mentioned daughter of the ousted boss. Police (led by the investigating detective) learn of the change and look into the new face. She's quite the looker and smart as well, but that's not the fascinating thing about her.
Turns out she might not even want the job; she was just hoisted into it because her father wanted things in the family. She's been around it all her life and knows the organization's inner working, but may not want to be there anymore with her father gone. That's her story anyways.
The mob pulls a heist (or some criminal act) and she claims to have nothing to do with it. Her dad's former inner circle took it upon themselves to pull the stunt. Detective is caught in a situation where he doesn't know to trust her. The mob's the mob, but does a new big boss - a female - mean anything? Is there a power struggle? Sexual tension, lies, deception, and double crosses ensue.
The problem with these sorts of stories (anglo-mob) is that the boss (father) tends to be spoil his kids (both male and female) lavishly, so the point of them stepping into his shoes is rather unbelievable. That they didn't earn it but the position of Boss was given to them, making people under them question whether they really deserve being Boss. Anglo female mob bosses always seem to get things done by being pretty and luring her underlings by batting her eyes and wiggling her hips.
Contrarily, Asian mob bosses seem to groom their kids (both male and female) to take over and want their kids to step into the role, seamlessly. It always seems more believable that a female Asian daughter could step into her father's shoes to take over the reins of his empire. Their daughters when they take over the reins are very business-like. Smart, intelligent, ruthless and decisive. They aren't looked on as being bitchy but deadly and very predictable. Their henchmen don't think "Oh no, here goes another drama queen tantrum"
It would be nice to see an anglo-mob boss that did it Asian style. The trouble is, how would you make this into a erotic story. It would almost seem like the eroticness of the story would take a backseat to the greater story of the daughter settling into her role as Boss.
Contrarily, Asian mob bosses seem to groom their kids (both male and female) to take over and want their kids to step into the role, seamlessly. It always seems more believable that a female Asian daughter could step into her father's shoes to take over the reins of his empire. Their daughters when they take over the reins are very business-like. Smart, intelligent, ruthless and decisive. They aren't looked on as being bitchy but deadly and very predictable. Their henchmen don't think "Oh no, here goes another drama queen tantrum"
It would be nice to see an anglo-mob boss that did it Asian style. The trouble is, how would you make this into a erotic story. It would almost seem like the eroticness of the story would take a backseat to the greater story of the daughter settling into her role as Boss.
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I don't see her height being an important telling factor. Julius Cesar was 5' 7" Genghis Khan was 5 '9" Napolean 5' 6", It's more believable that a short person has an inferiority complex and therefore has to overcompensate by being in control.
As far as the stealing, I see this as a good concept to flesh out the character a bit, but that she solo's the thefts tends to make me think she would be an excellent criminal, but not a criminal BOSS. Now if you said she led a choice selected team of art thieves, then it's more believable that she extended her leadership ability to then take over her father's criminal empire.
loquere
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Inheriting from a father that put in all the hard work has undertones of patriarchy.
loquere
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She is only legitimized by her fathers legacy. The idea that if she had a male sibling, she would be be passed over, says everything I'm trying to stress.
-This is like the old(changed) tradition of the patriarchal structures of the monarchy. The male child even if much younger upon birth relegates his older female sibling into a submissive role. He would have become king over her.
-The character comes off as week to me because of this. In an underworld command position that values balls, she has none and has not proved or earned an artificial pair.
-This is like the old(changed) tradition of the patriarchal structures of the monarchy. The male child even if much younger upon birth relegates his older female sibling into a submissive role. He would have become king over her.
-The character comes off as week to me because of this. In an underworld command position that values balls, she has none and has not proved or earned an artificial pair.
LadyVer
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The daughter has more balls than any man her father knows. I don't know why this is unbelievable. And as there are more taller women these days, I don't see the daughter's being tall unbelievable either. She uses her height to her advantage, especially when dominating small-minded men, whether they're mob or cop. She prefers taller men :n bed, but sometimes shorter men have proven to be more :nteresting and creative. She assembled her team of thieves before she was made.
soflabbwlvr
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I like this concept and some of the ideas presented below. I don't think the back story of how she became boss is all that important. That's not the the part of the story that I would write. I might reference it, but I wouldn't spend more than a paragraph summarizing it. In fact, I would probably start with the fact of her heading the organization as a given, and leave it at that. To me, the part that needs much more attention is how does she gain influence over the detective, and what does she do with it?
Sean Renaud
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Six foot is just pretty tall for a woman and all the examples of men given were from a fair time ago when people over all were much shorter. Alexander the Great wasn't tall by our standards mind you.
I don't think her height is important one way or the other.
Who's to say her father put in all the work and he didn't inherit it from his mother? While it's most likely true that this has come down from father to son when there is once again a King in England we aren't gonna call that Matriarchy. I think you're working way to hart at this whole equality thing here is all. She's in charge because she's the right combination of talented enough to take the reigns and lucky enough to be in a position to do so.
The above is partially true, would you feel better if we threw in an older male sibling who simply isn't as hyper competent as his sister? The character in no way comes across as weak nor do we have any reason thus far to believe she is not a legit bad ass within her own right. This ranks up there with calling Catwoman crap because she's not the first clown in Gotham to dress up as an animal!
I don't think her height is important one way or the other.
Who's to say her father put in all the work and he didn't inherit it from his mother? While it's most likely true that this has come down from father to son when there is once again a King in England we aren't gonna call that Matriarchy. I think you're working way to hart at this whole equality thing here is all. She's in charge because she's the right combination of talented enough to take the reigns and lucky enough to be in a position to do so.
The above is partially true, would you feel better if we threw in an older male sibling who simply isn't as hyper competent as his sister? The character in no way comes across as weak nor do we have any reason thus far to believe she is not a legit bad ass within her own right. This ranks up there with calling Catwoman crap because she's not the first clown in Gotham to dress up as an animal!
callmeismael
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Easiest way to make a person believable in an unlikely position is to give them a foil to show what makes them different.
Let's say our girl was the daughter of a mob lieutenant, same age as the boss's daughter, and they were good friends in their younger years. But while the boss protects his daughter from ever really understanding the work that they do, the lieutenant can't shelter his daughter in the same way. When this lieutenant is killed, the boss takes in the daughter, to raise as his own (both girls are already late teens at this point), but it's clear that she's not going to be the same sort of princess as his own daughter; she's too smart, too aware, too useful. Eventually, she grows into a sort of second-in-command, prompting the jealousy of her adopted sister.
And that's really as far as you need to develop a backstory, but it gives some interesting tensions: an aging don, one smart woman who is trying to show she can handle running the organization (and run it like a man); another less smart but still dangerous woman who doesn't want to see her family's legacy go to an outsider.
Enter an undercover detective, trying to work his way into the organization. The lieutenant sister finds out about his identity, and rather than expose him, she orchestrates an encounter between him and the princessy sister. She's now got control of both of them, and can destroy the princess by revealing that she was sleeping with a detective; doing so will also blow the detective's cover and kill him, so the two lovers are stuck at the whim of this smart and, let's be honest, somewhat power-hungry woman. Is she smart enough to keep her guard up through it all? Well, she does have needs...
edit: I think this would actually best be told by following the undercover detective, who isn't really aware of the structure of the organization, the daughters' past and such. Thus you can tell that part of the story organically as he learns it, without a whole chunk of exposition.
Let's say our girl was the daughter of a mob lieutenant, same age as the boss's daughter, and they were good friends in their younger years. But while the boss protects his daughter from ever really understanding the work that they do, the lieutenant can't shelter his daughter in the same way. When this lieutenant is killed, the boss takes in the daughter, to raise as his own (both girls are already late teens at this point), but it's clear that she's not going to be the same sort of princess as his own daughter; she's too smart, too aware, too useful. Eventually, she grows into a sort of second-in-command, prompting the jealousy of her adopted sister.
And that's really as far as you need to develop a backstory, but it gives some interesting tensions: an aging don, one smart woman who is trying to show she can handle running the organization (and run it like a man); another less smart but still dangerous woman who doesn't want to see her family's legacy go to an outsider.
Enter an undercover detective, trying to work his way into the organization. The lieutenant sister finds out about his identity, and rather than expose him, she orchestrates an encounter between him and the princessy sister. She's now got control of both of them, and can destroy the princess by revealing that she was sleeping with a detective; doing so will also blow the detective's cover and kill him, so the two lovers are stuck at the whim of this smart and, let's be honest, somewhat power-hungry woman. Is she smart enough to keep her guard up through it all? Well, she does have needs...
edit: I think this would actually best be told by following the undercover detective, who isn't really aware of the structure of the organization, the daughters' past and such. Thus you can tell that part of the story organically as he learns it, without a whole chunk of exposition.
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loquere
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-It is possible the inheritance route could work, but she would need to kill someone from day one to prove herself, and to earn street-cred.
-I'd prefer she strangle a family member. She could squeeze the life out of her older brother that was passed up because he's weak-ass vegan eating woos.
Sean Renaud
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Doesn't this weaken her as a character if we're taking your above lined logic of patriarchy and women being treated as inferior? I mean why's he got to be a weak ass vegan eating woos (I do not know what this 'woo' of which you speak is. It however sounds feminine.) Is it not better if her brother is a legit badass in his own right, feared and respected by a great many people and she beats him because as good as he is she's just better? Fanboys don't respect Catwoman because she can beat up pastry eating slobs, they respect her because she's always presented s being roughly on par with the Goddamn Batman.
Note: I have no problem with the murder or even fratricide. I'm just not seeing how, if the goal is get her over as being a legit bad ass, and not that she's the kind of evil person who would kick a puppy down a flight of steps just to watch it roll why you'd specify an, and again I quote weak-ass vegan eating woos. (Wait. . .is that suppoed to be wuss? I know what a wuss is!) Every writer knows that you get your character over by having them beat the crap out of the biggest baddest son of a bitch you can find. You only establish evil by having them pick on pathetic punks.
loquere
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I apologize it should have been wuss. Woos was wrong.
loquere
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- I thought because of the patriarchal situation, I’d need to make her an unhinged, ape-shit-crazy lunatic.
-My original post in this thread envisioned someone with limits. Now she has no limits she’d kill anyone. She began her descent by fucking her father, on this fuck session she slashed his throat while she rode atop his giant cock. Finishing herself off before rolling off the bed..
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Sean Renaud
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That was hardly the crux of my question sweetiekins.
I'm really not understanding why she cant' beat someone who is still considered a threat to normal people. I'm not going to pretend that Layla Ali or whatever his daughter's name wouldn't rip off my head and shit down my throat and not a lot of people call me a wuss.
It's been mentioned that we should give her a black belt in a martial art. A black belt goes a fair way in a fight. Sure she'd have her hands full against an equally talented male but a guy who was just a fairly talented street fighter, or maybe he likes guns but he never really learned out to get it done with his own two hands. Or hell the opposite, he's a big beefy guy who smacks her around but she's smarter and meaner and beats him to death with a lamp.
I honestly don't see how you build her up when step one was tearing down her opponent.
LadyVer
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loquere
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LOL
I added more since you commented.
Sean Renaud
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Okay. . .that's not terrible to be honest.
LadyVer
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It was riding the giant cock that struck me as funny. This might make a good EH plot. Or satire.
loquere
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There's an idea in it. Could you tackle the "giant cock?"
