Happy St. Georges Day!

[UnderYourSpell]

The glory of this land clothed
in her multi shades of green,
do you also call her home?
She drowses in the lazy sun
rainbow lit by gentle rain.
Look upon her open pastures
her woodlands and enfolding hills
and know this is my birthright.
This is my land.
This is my England.

 

[butters]

oh to be in england when the lilacs bloom

HSG day

 

[oggbashan]

It is also the day we celebrate Shakespeare's birthday, even though we're not really sure of the date he was born.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

oh to be in england when the lilacs bloom

HSG day

They are blooming in my garden

It is also the day we celebrate Shakespeare's birthday, even though we're not really sure of the date he was born.

This may be apt for that then. It was written by Hubert Parry, who also penned the patriotic hymn Jerusalem, in 1918 – the last year of his life – borrowing the words of John of Gaunt’s monologue from William Shakespeare’s play Richard II.

This royal throne of Kings, this sceptred island,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This fortress, built by Nature for her purpose,
Against infection and the hand of wars:

This demi-Paradise, this other Eden,
This precious stone set in a silver sea,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England,
We highly dedicate, O Lord, to Thee.

Grant, Lord, that England and her sister nations,
Together bound by the triumphant sea,
May be renown’d through all recorded ages,
For Christian service and true chivalry

 

[bronzeage]

oh to be in england when the lilacs bloom

HSG day

The legend of St. George and the Dragon.*
There once was a terrible dragon, known as Kandran. He was a typical dragon, in that he only ate virgins and he preferred fat virgins. It was Kandran’s habit to sleep for a year, then emerge from his dragon’s cave and ransack the countryside, until he was sated on virgin flesh. He then returned to his cave to sleep for another year, leaving behind burned barns, scorched fields, the bodies of all who opposed him, and of course, the bones of a score of virgins.
There was also once a brave young Knight known as George. He was a typical knight, in that he was sworn to protect the helpless and defend the weak. George specialized in dragon slaying and had an impressive record. One night, while drinking at the Knight’s hall, someone brought up dragon slaying and naturally, George was mentioned. There was a lot of jealousy among the knights, over who was truly the greatest dragon slayer. Dragons were classed according to length, weight, and most important of all, how many knights had died in their jaws.
“Yeah, George has killed a lot of dragons, but he’s never faced a Kandran class dragon, now has he?” was the general feeling in the hall. George knew this was true. He had never come across a Kandran class. The Kandrans were big, fast and breathed fire. The biggest, fastest and most incendiary of them all was the one who gave the name, Kandran himself. George wondered if he had been avoiding the Kandrans. Self doubt is toxic to a dragon slayer, so George resolve to not only seek out and slay a Kandran, he would seek out and slay the Kandran.

George packed his gear and headed for Kandran country. He arrived on Kandran’s traditional day of rampage and found the town surprisingly calm. In the preceding years, the town’s people had come to an understanding with the dragon. Instead of a rooting the virgins out of barn lofts, cellars, and wheat fields, destroying everything in his path, the people would simply round up twenty virgins and have them ready for him. Kandran would feast peacefully, then return to sleep for another year.

George was outraged by the idea and made a vow before God to save the virgins. He made a secondary vow to save as many as possible. His ultimate fallback vow was to just make a good show and not embarrass the Knight’s Guild. He rode up to Kandran’s cave to survey a strange sight. Twenty naked young women were tied to a row of twenty posts. All around them was scattered pieces of rusty armor, dotted with a few crushed skulls, the remnants of Kandran’s previous challengers. The virgins did not have high hopes. A few of them had lost sisters to Kandran and knew that just the appearance of a knight did not signify a rescue.

At noon, Kandran emerged from his cave. He was not surprised to see a knight waiting for him, but he was surprised to see this knight. George had gained quite a reputation in the dragon community. Kandran knew this was not and inexperienced novice. He was also lean and hungry. Fighting on an empty stomach was difficult. It slowed him down and fire breathing was a real effort. Kandran did the natural thing, which was offer to discuss terms of the battle. This was common in those days.
George was agreeable. There was nothing in the Knight’s Code which says one couldn’t seek an advantage through negotiating the rules. The only non-negotiable rule was Kandran’s demand for virgin flesh. He would not touch a non-virgin. After a good bit of bargaining, they came to the framework of a deal. George gave up on the idea of saving all the virgins and went for saving as many as possible. Kandran would begin eating virgins at one end of the line, while George would begin deflowering virgins at the other end. A few details were worked out. Kandran dictated George could not just poke and run. He had to achieve an orgasm, inside the former virgin, before moving to the next. George insisted Kandran had to eat the entire virgin, except for the bones before killing the next. Kandran balked at this, insisting the entrails made him sick. He would clean the bones of all flesh and fat, but would eat no organs. George relented, if he would be allowed to rearrange the order of the virgins. “Suit yourself,” said Kandran. Either party could attack the other, at any time.

Kandran pulled his claws on a rock and George unfastened his codpiece and both went to work. George arranged the virgins in the order which he thought gave him a real advantage. The fattest virgin was first at Kandran’s end. The skinniest virgin was at his end. The virgins placed in the fourth through seventh position were the ones George found most attractive. He thought the extra incentive might be needed by that point. Kandran didn’t care. He needed to stuff his belly with virgin fat to fuel his fire chamber and thought George was a fool for giving the fattest up for lost. Kandran was not really in a hurry. He expected to make short work of George and the remaining intact virgins would be plenty.

It didn’t work out that way, as we all know. George was up to virgin four when he realized he couldn’t keep going all day long. If he worked until he and Kandran met in the middle, he would be exhausted. It was true, Kandran might be overstuffed and slow, but that wasn’t a given. He had to stop at some point and fight, but when. Kandran was down to the thighs of his third virgin and George had just finished virgin number five. Even though number six was his ideal beauty, he had to make his move before Kandran moved to his fourth.

The actual battle was anti-climatic in every sense of the word. Kandran was distracted by the virgin’s calves. George grabbed his sword and sliced through Kandran’s spine with one stroke. The dragon never heard him coming.

George went on to be acclaimed the greatest dragon slayer of all time and later, Sainthood.

*A shameless paraphrased plagiarism.

 

[butters]

the best rendition i've ever come across *nods* bravo!

of course, all the virgins (of acceptable age) might have been saved with a little forethought

 

[Angeline]

Home Thoughts From Abroad
Robert Browning


Oh, to be in England
Now that April's there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In England - now!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Actually I kinda feel sorry for the dragons ........... no wonder they're extinct

 

[bronzeage]

Actually I kinda feel sorry for the dragons ........... no wonder they're extinct

They starved to death.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

They starved to death.

That's a bit rude about Turkish virgins isn't it

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

That's a bit rude about Turkish virgins isn't it

Otherwise known, by said dragons, as Turkish delight.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Otherwise known, by said dragons, as Turkish delight.

Ha Ha

 

[Ashesh9]

This legend is worthy of the great Humourist "Plum" PG Wodehouse himself !! Thanx for sharin' UYS .

 

[Ashesh9]

Or should it be Thank You Bronzeage ! Sorry for my mistake .

 

[HarryHill]

Or should it be Thank You Bronzeage ! Sorry for my mistake .

Break out the Dragon (rt) can you hear me? by George it's good to see you Ash

 

[bronzeage]

Or should it be Thank You Bronzeage ! Sorry for my mistake .

As my disclaimer makes clear, I stole this version from someone else. In 1968 or maybe 1969, there was an article in Playboy magazine. I was 13 at the time, and yes, I did read the articles. The author used the story of St. George and the dragon as a lesson in moral ethics. George's mission was to save the virgins. The moral question was, what would George sacrifice in order to save just a few virgins? Refusing to sacrifice any increased his chances of saving none of them.

It's the old question of "should you do a bad thing in order to achieve a good goal. If so, how bad?

I really did learn everything I ever needed to know from Playboy.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Didn't realise pin-ups smoked cigars

 

[HarryHill]

Didn't realise pin-ups smoked cigars

I have a memory of a woman smoking a cigar in a Hoochy Coochie tent at a carnival one time... pin up? no, but she was a French postcard

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I have a memory of a woman smoking a cigar in a Hoochy Coochie tent at a carnival one time... pin up? no, but she was a French postcard

Damn I wish I had known this before I gave you your new subject