How do I find a male dom?

[rocketgirl2011]

I've read about bdsm, but never participated. I would live to meet a man who is more experienced and wants a sub. I like the control and protectiveness that I've read about. Question is how to go about meeting someone who is into this in real life. I have also read some things about a lack of interest in black women in this lifestyle (I am black). Is this true? Advice?

 

[ecstaticsub]

Why do you think you are different than most woman who do this?

 

[Malich]

I suspect by now a post like this has garnered you a lot of attention.

Best advice, Take it slowly. the first guy who comes along and offers to train you is potentially not the best dome out there, just the fastest, or the one waiting to pounce on someone inexperienced.

This lifestyle, unfortunately, is full of people who use it as an excuse to be abusive in an environment where they can brush off cowed behaviour and bruises as "just the way we live our lives."

Talk to people and get to know more about what you want and do not settle for anyone who offers less than that.

Practically, there's a BDSM personal section down the bottom of these forums, but try to avoid one line messages of the "looking to be your slave" type. They'll not get you as good a match / response as a well written, well detailed post. I'm forever seeing posts with no idea of where someone is, whether they are looking for online or real life or which fail to even give a hint to the person behind the keyboard.

Another option is to join a site like FetLife and see if there are any local events in your area. These munches (social rather than play events) can be a good place to find like minded people and to make friends who may become more.

Hope this helps a bit.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Join fetlife.com, and check for your locality to see what's happening in your area.

If you're in Los Angeles area, you have a lot of possibilities!

 

[LadiLucki7]

Join fetlife.com, and check for your locality to see what's happening in your area.

If you're in Los Angeles area, you have a lot of possibilities!

I agree. I started my journey here on lit but then joined fetlife and was opened up to more possibilities both locally and reasonable distances. But also found great friendships Good luck