So my first time..

[Felineofavenueb]

I had sex for the first time the other day and I bled a lot. Ive been to the gyno and she said I didn't even have a hymen. Anyway, is it normal to bleed first time having sex? Will I bleed every time I have sex until I'm broken in, so to speak,?

 

[LadyVer]

Googling this issue might have been easier.

 

[NightL]

Googling this issue might have been easier.

I had a look at previous posts - I think she is in the right place and probably at the right time to ask questions.

Felineofavenueb, with a join date of 2009 you have no doubt been peeking in far more regularly than your posts, so you should have a good idea of how things flow here. You will get very sound advice and opinions. There will on occasion be some who place their self-interest in ego building through attempts of belittling others, but they are easy to spot and ignore (this no doubt offers a chuckle to many at my own expense ).

This last comment is not meant in anyway to reflect on LadyVer or her suggestion. She is one of the good ones - and do add Google to your resources.

If you feel trusted and loved in your new relationship, it is also a good idea to share concerns and delights with your partner as well. Though unrelated to this thread, communication is essential to getting the most out of a relationship. Be honest about your desires and indeed dislikes.

Keep asking questions of your partner and keep offering them insights as to who you are. Keep asking questions here.

I wish you all the best for the future of your relationship and life ahead.

Keep asking questions

 

[Eilan]

I had pain and bleeding for the first three or four times that I had sex. I didn't bleed as much as I did the first time--just some spotting. YMMV, obviously.

 

[sunandshadow]

Usually the part that's "broken in" is the hymen, even if there are only little shreds of it left... were you dry/sticky or dehydrated? Even if your body is producing plenty of lube before sex you may have dry spots if neither you nor your partner spreads that moisture around with your fingers. Water-based artificial lubes can dry out quickly. Latex, spermicides, and some lubes can cause allergic reactions that irritate your tissues and make them more inclined to bleed. Or, had you taken a blood thinner like asprin recently? Are you prone to nosebleeds, possibly due to high blood pressure? Or was it right before your period or are you prone to developing an extra thick uterine lining? All of these can cause bleeding.

 

[LadyVer]

I had a look at previous posts - I think she is in the right place and probably at the right time to ask questions.

Felineofavenueb, with a join date of 2009 you have no doubt been peeking in far more regularly than your posts, so you should have a good idea of how things flow here. You will get very sound advice and opinions. There will on occasion be some who place their self-interest in ego building through attempts of belittling others, but they are easy to spot and ignore (this no doubt offers a chuckle to many at my own expense ).

This last comment is not meant in anyway to reflect on LadyVer or her suggestion. She is one of the good ones - and do add Google to your resources.

If you feel trusted and loved in your new relationship, it is also a good idea to share concerns and delights with your partner as well. Though unrelated to this thread, communication is essential to getting the most out of a relationship. Be honest about your desires and indeed dislikes.

Keep asking questions of your partner and keep offering them insights as to who you are. Keep asking questions here.

I wish you all the best for the future of your relationship and life ahead.

Keep asking questions

Thanks, Night. Yeah, I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. To me, it's a topic that information is widely available on the internet, easily found by googling. I guess it's hard for me to imagine someone having to ask this question in 2014, but I guess there are those who just don't know. I will say that the first time for me (back in the Ice Age) I was more concerned with the prolonged blast of ripping pain than I was the blood. I had heard about how it hurts the first time, but fuck, there's a difference between hurting, and mind-crushing and body-crushing agony. Wish I'd had a percocet. Or percodan. Whichever is the opiate based med.

 

[NiceNastyMann]

Thanks, Night. Yeah, I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. To me, it's a topic that information is widely available on the internet, easily found by googling. I guess it's hard for me to imagine someone having to ask this question in 2014, but I guess there are those who just don't know. I will say that the first time for me (back in the Ice Age) I was more concerned with the prolonged blast of ripping pain than I was the blood. I had heard about how it hurts the first time, but fuck, there's a difference between hurting, and mind-crushing and body-crushing agony. Wish I'd had a percocet. Or percodan. Whichever is the opiate based med.

Come on people...

Okay. First step you took was good - you went to a gyno. Smart.

Next - stop fixating on whether or not it was the hymen that tore. Was there other tears because - ahem - either of you were excited - and maybe a little rough?

If the gyno did any kind of exam, if there were issues, they would probably have been found.

But my guess is that other - tissues - suffered some stress and caused bleeding.

In that case - the answer to your question is - yes, any kind of tear to the tissues will cause bleeding.

So listen to uncle NiceNastyMann - one word. Lube. Yours preferably. If not - unlike the dark ages - pretty much every drug store has it out for your shopping convenience.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thanks, Night. Yeah, I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. To me, it's a topic that information is widely available on the internet, easily found by googling.

Here's the problem with "just google it" for sex-ed:

"More than half (55%) of 7th–12th graders say they have looked up health information online in order to learn more about an issue affecting themselves or someone they know. The Web sites teens turn to for sexual health information often have inaccurate information. For example, of 177 sexual health Web sites examined in a recent study, 46% of those addressing contraception and 35% of those addressing abortion contained inaccurate information."

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-Teen-Sex-Ed.html#19a

There are some really good sites, like Scarleteen, but for somebody without experience it can be hard to know which ones to trust.

 

[LadyVer]

Here's the problem with "just google it" for sex-ed:

"More than half (55%) of 7th–12th graders say they have looked up health information online in order to learn more about an issue affecting themselves or someone they know. The Web sites teens turn to for sexual health information often have inaccurate information. For example, of 177 sexual health Web sites examined in a recent study, 46% of those addressing contraception and 35% of those addressing abortion contained inaccurate information."

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-Teen-Sex-Ed.html#19a

There are some really good sites, like Scarleteen, but for somebody without experience it can be hard to know which ones to trust.

Well, I don't see this particular thread as a teen sex ed issue. Sex ed usually concerns prevention of pregnancy and std's. I saw this as an issue that an adult had, who still had questions after she saw her doc. Maybe she could get info from Mayo Clinic, Merck (Manual), or womenshealth.gov. Or maybe she could see another medical professional.

 

[Cumference]

You are right.

If sex ed in school had included "buy lube, and use it generously" I would have been spared some frustrations.
On the other hand, that was 25 years ago, and we have had a national "use condoms and water based lube"-campaign since then.

 

[MeekMe]

Bleeding can occur with your first time and may occur after that as well. Not only is your body adjusting (your hymen isn't a fully intact sheet, it's actually open and will stretch with intercourse) but you can also bleed when you are close to the time of your period as well as with rough sex. The vaginal walls can sometimes take quite the beating, if this happens take it easy and discuss this with your partner. Different positions can help make things more comfortable.