What Do Men Want?

[GeorgiaSub]

So guys, I'm rewriting my profile for a dating website and was just wondering what catches a man's eye in a woman's profile?

What kind of information do you want to know about a potential date? What kind of pics do you want to see? What should I NOT put in my profile?

Any other advice you would like to share? Should my profile be short and sweet, or jam packed with information?

And lastly, any advice on how to subtly convey that my preference leans toward dominant men? Or should I not be concerned with being subtle and just lay it out there?

 

[JudasIscariot]

So guys, I'm rewriting my profile for a dating website and was just wondering what catches a man's eye in a woman's profile?

What kind of information do you want to know about a potential date? What kind of pics do you want to see? What should I NOT put in my profile?

Any other advice you would like to share? Should my profile be short and sweet, or jam packed with information?

And lastly, any advice on how to subtly convey that my preference leans toward dominant men? Or should I not be concerned with being subtle and just lay it out there?

Men want you to come across as smart and classy, show pictures of yourself looking pleasant. Try to avoid anything sexual or you'll collect trolls.

About yourself, just be honest with them, that way the guy knows who you are and that your not some liar. The last thing you want is to meet someone you may like and really get along with, but you've already blew it by making a stupid mistake early on.

 

[ForbiddenFru1t]

Men want different things. What kind of man do you want to attract?

 

[October46]

Men want you to come across as smart and classy, show pictures of yourself looking pleasant. Try to avoid anything sexual or you'll collect trolls.

About yourself, just be honest with them, that way the guy knows who you are and that your not some liar. The last thing you want is to meet someone you may like and really get along with, but you've already blew it by making a stupid mistake early on.

Totally agree Iamshaun, also make sure you state "no married men".

 

[SBroadB9]

Clearly spell out what you want, but don't give too many details about yourself. Creates some mystery and intrigue that way.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

What catches my eye when I read a profile is a woman who is obviously intelligent and thoughtful, shows some sort of sense of humor...shows she is open to sexual situations - and provides a teasing glimpse at what she really wants. She can just come out and say it, but it intrigues me if I have to figure out the clues she leaves.

There are some profiles where the woman specifically asks to not be contacted. I LIKE that. A guy knows exactly where he stands with her. When she makes sexually teasing posts in a thread, instead of jumping on the comment as a possible opportunity to contact the woman, I already know she is only having fun, and is not interested in taking it further.

I have had other women claim to be very open, only to find out that there are MANY things she isn't interested in doing in the slightest. That is very frustrating to me. Like false advertising.

be honest, funny, smart...and I'll follow you around.....and find out how much you might enjoy a man taking control....

 

[Constantine58]

i think the guys above gave out great advice. one thing i think about when filling those out, "is what do i want to attrack?"It is like a resume for a job interview in a way. you want to cover the subject but leave enough to have them want to ask questions. depending on what the site is and what you want tailor it to those things. good luck.

 

[Thatdurtydawg]

First, be yourself.
Don't pretend to be someone you are not simply to get attention.
Second, don't say that you are well educated and smart, but show those qualities in your profile by what you say and how you say it.
Third, give the kind of details about yourself that will attract the type of man you seek.

Oh, and make sure your eyes are clearly visible on your profile pic.
An articulate, intelligent lady with beautiful eyes will get what she wants

 

[AloneInNC]

As someone who has been using online dating for awhile and has read a lot of profiles and looked at a lot of pics Mainly on Match, I tried a few others but definitely had the most success on Match, I'd stay away from the freebies (plenty of fish, etc)
I think your profile pic is fantastic, a real eyecatcher, I would say 6-10 pics is a pretty good number, While I wouldn't say don't show anything to revealing you have have a nice figure and pics that show that could only benefit you, Smiles are big, I'm surprised by how many use a pic without a smile for their primary pic, I personally think pics taken by a camera with remote or timer, other people (not mirror selfies) look the best
I also like your profile, it has a little humor (WD40 comment) and tells something of yourself, confidence is nice, boastful is not. I wouldn't throw up everything about yourself, but briefly desribe what your likes are, leave the dislikes for any personal correspondence you get
You'll get out what you put into it, use it to search what appeals to you and don't be afraid to make the first move, and maybe try something a little out of your norm that's probably where youll get your most pleasant surprises. You are a very attractive woman you'll get no shortage of offers
I'd love to see it if you PM the link to after you subscribe

 

[GeorgiaSub]

You Guys Rock!

Wow! Thank you all for the great feedback! There are a lot of takeaways here that I'll be able to use.

Of course I'll be honest with whatever goes into my profile. And I promise not to use my Lit av as one of my pics. lol!

If anyone else has feedback on what is attractive to men in a woman's dating profile please let me know! I'm open to any and all constructive suggestions.

 

[Corbal]

Liars.

 

[TwoShades]

I think it varies ALOT. As you probably have noticed, for a lot of men will fall over themselves just for you stating you are a woman. Some men will like classy and self confident. Some will want trashy and slutty. Some will want to work to get into your panties, some will want and expect you to bend right over. So I think you need to think first about the kind of man you want attention from, and the kind you want to avoid. Then reveal yourself with those things in mind.

 

[PBateman]

If you are looking for Dominant men, use the word "Strong" or "manly." Like previous posters said, if you say Dominant or make it to sexual, you will only find trolls.

 

[Doog_kuron]

I've used a few dating sites before now myself, I found match gave me the most responses. I found that the profiles that caught by eye initially were of course the profile picture. A picture that focuses on the face so you can see her eyes and a big yes is a natural smile. Multiple pictures is a good idea too if for nothing more than you've made an effort.

As for the profile itself, I found a nice balance caught my attention. A few lines clearly demonstrated to me lack of effort. Whilst some girls wrote long, Greek epic style profiles. Perhaps a few paragraphs telling about the things you like and enjoy so a guy has something to start a conversation about. Honesty is a good idea to avoid road bumps further down the road too.

Above all, good luck

 

[AloneInNC]

Of course I was referring to the pic of you standing by the fireplace, not the your avatar

Wow! Thank you all for the great feedback! There are a lot of takeaways here that I'll be able to use.

Of course I'll be honest with whatever goes into my profile. And I promise not to use my Lit av as one of my pics. lol!

If anyone else has feedback on what is attractive to men in a woman's dating profile please let me know! I'm open to any and all constructive suggestions.

 

[callmeismael]

Balance talking about yourself with what you're looking for. Some ads make the mistake about being all about a person's expectations with nothing of what they can offer; others make the mistake of going into a lot of detail about themselves without saying what they want in a partner.

Write your ad while you're in a good frame of mind. A good mood, not bored, not angry, not sad, and especially not drunk! We all have moments when we're not our best, but these things come out in our writing (sometimes in subtle ways). Be at your best when you're writing your ad, just as you would want to be on your first date.

Self-deprication goes a long way. A tiny bit makes you approachable, but any more than that is overkill.

Show, don't tell... and I'm not talking about photos here. A wry joke in your ad does a lot more than saying what a great sense of humour you have. Talking a little about a favorite book does more than saying you like a well-read guy. (The one exception being if you're a totally to-the-point woman looking for a to-the-point guy for a to-the-point relationship, then simply stating what you want is also showing what you want.)

 

[Shared_Pleasure]

You’ve been given a lot of helpful advice, I can see. I agree with some of the others that have posted that “Match” is probably the best dating site. It will give you the most exposure.

When looking through profiles, the first thing that attracts my attention is a good profile picture. You have a nice photo on your Lit profile of you standing beneath a fish picture. The other photo would be fine, too, if only you were wearing a bathing suit instead of your panties. But, the most important photo is a closeup of your face with you smiling. Make sure your photos are current. It’s a major turnoff when a 40-year-old woman posts pictures of herself in her 20‘s.

It goes without saying, put some thought into writing your profile and have some of your friends read it, especially male friends. You might even PM a copy to some of your friends on Lit. Sound intelligent without coming across as superior or unapproachable. Use good grammar and correct spelling, of course. It’s surprising how many people don’t. In terms of the amount to write, I like more vs. less. It gives us something to talk about should we meet. Put, the most important self-descriptors at the beginning. Get the guys attention in the first few lines. Be honest, friendly and humorous. Describe yourself as friendly and easy to communicate with. Convey that you are adventuresome, fun loving and don’t take life or yourself too seriously. I suspect that many these things are true about you given some of your posts on LIt. If they aren’t, then don’t list them. Rather, than discussing sex, describe yourself as warm and affectionate. And, it goes without saying that you ought not to mention anything about Fleshlight fun.

When describing the type of man you’re seeking. Don’t go on and on with a long laundry list. Pick several attributes that you find attractive in a man, for example, self-confident but not arrogant, comfortable in his own skin, assertive, able to take the lead, respectful and considerate, a good listener and able to communicate, etc. It’s a turn off when the woman has a list of twenty or thirty things she’s looking for in a man. It suggests that she is demanding, and maybe even arrogant.

Lastly, if you find someone you’re interested in getting to know, contact them. Don’t be passive and wait for men to contact you. And, don’t waste a lot of time emailing or talking on the phone. Meet for coffee and you can decide then whether you want to pursue it any further.

 

[GeorgiaSub]

Again, thank you all for taking the time to so generously and sincerely share your thoughts and advice!

Some of it has caused me to smack my forehead in an "I could have had a V-8" moment, some has cracked me up (I swear I won't ask if they own a fleshlight until the third date!), and some has been plain old common sense. But it is all greatly appreciated and will be taken into consideration as I start my rewrite.

Please feel free to let me know if there is anything else that you believe may be helpful!

 

[BurningMonkey]

Totally agree Iamshaun, also make sure you state "no married men".

Unless, of course, you don't care if they're married or not.
Or if, maybe, you're looking for a married man.
Just a thought...

 

[Pelican1000]

So - a FWB partner of mine did some personal ad services. When she added the line "physical intimacy is very important to me." her reply numbers went off the chart. As it turned out most were total duds and within two months she had given up the search.

Oh also, she began to figure out how many of the replies were married guys looking for one quick hook up. Maybe she asked for that! LOL

As her devoted FWB that lived in another town, I support her in her quest. We still had our relationship through the last two guys she dated and i figured we would last the online dating services as well. She ultimate gave up and just decided that our FWB was better than the hunt! LOL LOL

If you are half as pretty and sexy as your picture, I have a feeling that you just need to act like you are available in real life and smart men will be all over you! Most knowledgeable sensitive men will tell you that a woman sends a signal if she is available and interested that is easy to pick up on. I'm a married guy and certainly don't think that every woman I meet is vaguely interested in me but I can tell in a second the one's that are. If you want to know what I see, just PM me! LOL

If you send the right message, those that are smart will respond and you will find you reward! Good luck pretty woman! I live in SC and only wish I lived closer!

 

[GeorgiaSub]

I can relate to Pelican's FWB's situation. I've tried Match and OKCupid, and like her, most men I've met were either not my type or married.

Since I don't go to bars or clubs, and I'm not interested in married men, where would you guys suggest a woman my age (57) go to meet eligible men? I think I'm fairly attractive, stay in good shape, and have a decent personality. Where do all the single men in my age range hang out???

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

I can relate to Pelican's FWB's situation. I've tried Match and OKCupid, and like her, most men I've met were either not my type or married.

Since I don't go to bars or clubs, and I'm not interested in married men, where would you guys suggest a woman my age (57) go to meet eligible men? I think I'm fairly attractive, stay in good shape, and have a decent personality. Where do all the single men in my age range hang out???

GS-Admittedly, I'm not sure that I have a good answer for this. Not knowing what part of the state you live in, and how close to one of the more metropolitan areas, I'll offer this:

Unless you want to take up golf (which I doubt), your best bet is likely to be to find some more lounge-type places around town-places where the drink prices are a bit higher, where the live music is more likely to be piano or jazz, and the atmosphere is laid back.

That, or the other suggestion I have is to take a class-something that interests you. I've been told there are no shortage of single men of all ages in cooking classes, especially recent divorcees who need to learn how to take care of themselves.

 

[GeorgiaSub]

GS-Admittedly, I'm not sure that I have a good answer for this. Not knowing what part of the state you live in, and how close to one of the more metropolitan areas, I'll offer this:

Unless you want to take up golf (which I doubt), your best bet is likely to be to find some more lounge-type places around town-places where the drink prices are a bit higher, where the live music is more likely to be piano or jazz, and the atmosphere is laid back.

That, or the other suggestion I have is to take a class-something that interests you. I've been told there are no shortage of single men of all ages in cooking classes, especially recent divorcees who need to learn how to take care of themselves.

Thanks for the suggestions, LI. I live in the Atlanta metro area so there is no shortage of loungey type places. I doubt I would do this though...it just seems so, well, so icky is the only way I can think of to describe it. lol. And I have golf clubs, have played a bit over the years, but still suck at it. So, I would hate to get on the green and tick everyone off by slowing down play.

BUT, I LOVE the idea of taking a cooking class! That's just genius! I'm going to do just that. I'll let you know how it goes

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

Thanks for the suggestions, LI. I live in the Atlanta metro area so there is no shortage of loungey type places. I doubt I would do this though...it just seems so, well, so icky is the only way I can think of to describe it. lol. And I have golf clubs, have played a bit over the years, but still suck at it. So, I would hate to get on the green and tick everyone off by slowing down play.

BUT, I LOVE the idea of taking a cooking class! That's just genius! I'm going to do just that. I'll let you know how it goes

You know, if you do enjoy the game, golf lessons wouldn't be a bad idea. It's not uncommon for guys in the mid-to late 50s to do that as they start to get more of their time and money back after kids have graduated college, etc.

I would love to hear how it goes. Please keep us posted

 

[GeorgiaSub]

You know, if you do enjoy the game, golf lessons wouldn't be a bad idea. It's not uncommon for guys in the mid-to late 50s to do that as they start to get more of their time and money back after kids have graduated college, etc.

I would love to hear how it goes. Please keep us posted

Well, when you put it that way, golf lessons would be a good idea also.

I'll definitely keep you posted.