Any Christians here...discreetly?

[Anomaly1964]

......

,,,,,,,,,

 

[DiablosWhore]

Married, Christian, with a stronger drive than my wife...

Anyone else in the same boat?

Well, I'm a woman, but I'm also a Christian. I don't, however, wander around waving a flag or anything. Discreetly? Around here, I think most people do and say lots of things discreetly. I think being a Christian means a lot of different things to different people.

I think there's probably a lot of Christians who might well be considered "perverts" ...but we try not to judge around here.

Hope I'm not stepping on toes or anything, but... Have you tried talking to your wife about the issue of sex and sex drive? I don't mean argue, I mean ...quiet conversation.

 

[sexualman123]

I would only be surprised if there was no one in your boat.


and I have as much authority on marriages as a ben and jerry's rep at a weight watchers meeting. So I'll refrain.

 

[DiablosWhore]

...and I have as much authority on marriages as a ben and jerry's rep at a weight watchers meeting. So I'll refrain.

So ...you're saying, in a round about way, that you're more of a fucking expert on marriage than almost anyone else here?? ;=)

marriage - spelled, m, .......a, ........r, .......r, ......i, .......a, ......g, ......e! Yip-ee! I'm a fucking expert on .........marriage. ;=)

 

[sexualman123]

Oh.... going after the dyslexic for grammar. This will not make it on the list of fair fights.

I see your point. It was rather round about.

 

[Anomaly1964]

Great replies so far, THANKS!

 

[DiablosWhore]

Great replies so far, THANKS!

Well, might be some fun replies, but none of us helped you much in your situation. If the two of you can't sit down and talk, then it's working hard at being hopeless. I sincerely hope not, but...

It's one of the reasons that I've not gotten married. A couple of times, real close, but just couldn't give up that freedom and simplistic lifestyle. Oh, well, ....

 

[Anomaly1964]

Ive been dealing with it for over 22 yrs, not sure there is a solution at this point...

 

[DiablosWhore]

Ive been dealing with it for over 22 yrs, not sure there is a solution at this point...

I know this is probably not going to come out the way I want it to, but... Have you ever considered that your sex life is just not worth the risk to your present marital situation? I mean, assuming most everything else in your life is okay, or good, how does it balance with the importance of your sex life?

Slut and whore that I am at times, I probably shouldn't even be asking such a stupid question. ;=)

 

[hardcollege4]

I know this is probably not going to come out the way I want it to, but... Have you ever considered that your sex life is just not worth the risk to your present marital situation? I mean, assuming most everything else in your life is okay, or good, how does it balance with the importance of your sex life?

Slut and whore that I am at times, I probably shouldn't even be asking such a stupid question. ;=)

...Sex is important, once you stop being intimate then it'll just devolve into a roommate type situation and then you'll even start to lose that and will stop talking and just kinda co-exist and then you'll die and that's not the slow decline that you want.

I base the above information on absolutely nothing by the way

 

[DiablosWhore]

...Sex is important, once you stop being intimate then it'll just devolve into a roommate type situation and then you'll even start to lose that and will stop talking and just kinda co-exist and then you'll die and that's not the slow decline that you want.

Not very appetizing, but it's interestingly close that what real life is, ain't it? But, hey, come on, I've never been married, and I've only lived with two guys in my life, so I'm not fucking expert. I do know that when the love goes, the sex just isn't what it's cracked up to be, either. So...

I base the above information on absolutely nothing by the way

Well, like my Daddy always used to say, "Well, Button, when you know nothing at all about a topic, it's best to start a big argument, then leave quickly!" ;=)

 

[Anomaly1964]

I know this is probably not going to come out the way I want it to, but... Have you ever considered that your sex life is just not worth the risk to your present marital situation? I mean, assuming most everything else in your life is okay, or good, how does it balance with the importance of your sex life?

Slut and whore that I am at times, I probably shouldn't even be asking such a stupid question. ;=)

That is a great question, probably why I have been married 22 yrs...

But IT IS becoming more and more of an issue for me...

 

[DiablosWhore]

That is a great question, probably why I have been married 22 yrs...

I was actually trying to get you to thinking more of your life and, of course, your wife ...ahead of your sex life. But I'm not immune to the problems that face you, I've just not been in it myself.

But IT IS becoming more and more of an issue for me...

If I could do anything to help you, I think you know that I would. Well, I mean, ...other than ...That! ;=)

 

[Anomaly1964]

I was actually trying to get you to thinking more of your life and, of course, your wife ...ahead of your sex life. But I'm not immune to the problems that face you, I've just not been in it myself.



If I could do anything to help you, I think you know that I would. Well, I mean, ...other than ...That! ;=)

WInk...

 

[eric60red]

Married, Christian, with a stronger drive than my wife...

Anyone else in the same boat?

Well I am an atheist, and havent slept with my wife for years

 

[Mockingjay]

I say I'm no longer an active church participant or church goer.

 

[Anomaly1964]

I say I'm no longer an active church participant or church goer.

Is there a reason you stopped going?

 

[bobbyinhouston]

Christians

I would only be surprised if there was no one in your boat.


and I have as much authority on marriages as a ben and jerry's rep at a weight watchers meeting. So I'll refrain.

My wife and I are in the swingers lifestyle and enjoy our friends there and our church. Actually I think some of our church friends we believe would probably join us and vice versa.

Signature" We are on a mission from God" Blues Brothers!

 

[norfolklad]

Married, Christian, with a stronger drive than my wife...

Anyone else in the same boat?

You nesatly skirt round the precise nature of your problem. I take it that because of your beliefs and your marriage vows, you feel unable to stray outside your marriage to satisfy your stronger desire for sex than your wife.

Unfortunately, there aren't any easy answers to that. Something has to give if the equation is to be solved.

It has always struck me as rather bizarre that the Christian religion (I don't know enough about others) not only wants to rule out 'try before you buy' but also operates a 'no returns under any circumstances' policy. Doesn't that turn marriage into a complete step into the dark and a recipe for unhappiness?

What sort of difference in sex drive are we talking about here? Do you want it four times a day and her only on your birthday and Christmas Day?

Is there any reason why your wife doesn't have a strong sex drive? My second wife came from a supposedly religious family and was brought up to believe that sex and everything to do with genitals was dirty. She only ever wanted to have sex if she was (a) drunk and (b) in bed and not always then. If it's something like that then maybe counselling is the answer. Or does your wife simply not have a high sex drive, in which case you're going to have to decide whether you're going to go without or put your beliefs on the backburner.

 

[Anomaly1964]

You nesatly skirt round the precise nature of your problem. I take it that because of your beliefs and your marriage vows, you feel unable to stray outside your marriage to satisfy your stronger desire for sex than your wife.

Unfortunately, there aren't any easy answers to that. Something has to give if the equation is to be solved.

It has always struck me as rather bizarre that the Christian religion (I don't know enough about others) not only wants to rule out 'try before you buy' but also operates a 'no returns under any circumstances' policy. Doesn't that turn marriage into a complete step into the dark and a recipe for unhappiness?

What sort of difference in sex drive are we talking about here? Do you want it four times a day and her only on your birthday and Christmas Day?

Is there any reason why your wife doesn't have a strong sex drive? My second wife came from a supposedly religious family and was brought up to believe that sex and everything to do with genitals was dirty. She only ever wanted to have sex if she was (a) drunk and (b) in bed and not always then. If it's something like that then maybe counselling is the answer. Or does your wife simply not have a high sex drive, in which case you're going to have to decide whether you're going to go without or put your beliefs on the backburner.

GREAT questions indeed...

After 22 yrs I am still trying to figure them out...

 

[Mockingjay]

Is there a reason you stopped going?

I got different views as I grow older and encounter new things changing my perspectives about life, existence, etc. I am now an agnostic but I don't admit it to other people I know since they are so-called Christians. I don't want them questioning my beliefs though I act still as if I am in the same boat around them, I feel hypocrite and slave of our social values. Time will come soon for me to open up. Anyway, if you ask, my community is very conservative, religious, and traditional where non-Christians are discriminated and prejudiced.

 

[DiablosWhore]

.... I don't want them questioning my beliefs though I act still as if I am in the same boat around them, I feel hypocrite and slave of our social values. ....

I don't know your social world, of course, but my best guess is that every single one of those people are in more or less that same boat as you're in ...questioning, wondering, thinking, ..., and mostly too conservative to ask or talk about it.

.... Time will come soon for me to open up. .....

Do it now while you're still young enough to enjoy the fruits of your labors. Geez, sounds like a fucking preacher, don't it? ...LOL! Seriously, the sooner the better ...don't get overly cynical, talk to people openly, ask them questions. Soon you'll see that they don't have the answers either.

 

[Mockingjay]

I don't know your social world, of course, but my best guess is that every single one of those people are in more or less that same boat as you're in ...questioning, wondering, thinking, ..., and mostly too conservative to ask or talk about it.

Do it now while you're still young enough to enjoy the fruits of your labors. Geez, sounds like a fucking preacher, don't it? ...LOL! Seriously, the sooner the better ...don't get overly cynical, talk to people openly, ask them questions. Soon you'll see that they don't have the answers either.

It's so easy to say things, my dear Watson. Reality is four-dimensional and complex and society, with the voice of majority, remains as status quo.

 

[DiablosWhore]

It's so easy to say things, my dear Watson. Reality is four-dimensional and complex and society, with the voice of majority, remains as status quo.

Wrong. The "status quo" has been changing in human societies since the beginning of human societies. And to be perfectly honest, the "voice of the majority" has almost always been the "voice of the person doing the talking".

Changes in society come about slowly, over decades, and its changing right now, as we speak. Someone wore a bikini once on a beach in France. Within mere moments, all the women in the world are wearing bikinis at the beach. See? Where's that "statue quo" thing you were talking about?

 

[norfolklad]

Changes in society come about slowly, over decades, and its changing right now, as we speak. Someone wore a bikini once on a beach in France. Within mere moments, all the women in the world are wearing bikinis at the beach. See? Where's that "statue quo" thing you were talking about?

And to take it a step further, at least on many European beaches, wearing only the bottom half of the bikini, something that would have been seen as totally indecent only a few decades earlier.