Orgasm Help!!!

[ragincajun99]

Hi, Need some advice on a problem I just started experiencing. Recently, I've been able to achieve an orgasm but I don't have the same sensations as I used to. There is no tight muscle contractions or that "toe curling" feeling. It's just get hard, have sex and then cum, but without the bang so to speak.

Anyone ever had this issue? I've looked around Lit and in the Blank Manual and saw a lot on orgasms, but not that I can have one without the feeling. Also, just for some background, I'm a 49 year old male that has had a great sex life for ages. This just started a month or so ago.

Any help would be fantastic as I hope this isn't my future!

 

[Dakotacpl]

You are probably just stressed or fatigued.

 

[ragincajun99]

I travel most every week and have kids in college so both could be potentials.

Figured I would go see a Dr for a physical and ask him. Maybe a urologist too if it could be and ED issue.

Have seen quite a lot of help on numerous topics so I thought I'd try Lit's experts as all of you are so open about all topics.

Thanks!

 

[GooodGurrl]

It's very difficult to say, it's most likely stress/exhaustion or some other temporary non-issue... but given your age and the fact that it is a sudden change in sensation... I would definitely suggest going to chat with a doctor if you can. Sudden changes in sensation (after decades of feeling things one way), especially sexually, is always a medical red flag. So get it checked out, especially if it continues.

Even if the doctor tells you that you're a little paranoid and hypochondriac, it will definitely put your mind at ease and help if the problem is stress. You can't stop stressing if you have the possibility of a medical issue in the back of your mind.

Best of luck!! Here's hoping you're just out of your mind.

 

[bailadora]

I think a visit to the doc is a good idea. While there, you might want to have him check your thyroid. You'd be amazed at how many bodily systems and functions that little gland influences.

Best of luck to you!

ETA: You should know that thyroid testing can be a bit finicky. It's quite possible to have thyroid levels with the acceptable range of "normal", and still have it be off kilter for your body's needs. Ask me how I know this.

 

[SweetErika]

ETA: You should know that thyroid testing can be a bit finicky. It's quite possible to have thyroid levels with the acceptable range of "normal", and still have it be off kilter for your body's needs. Ask me how I know this.

You too, huh? My hypothyroidism went undiagnosed for about 15 years, even though I had the symptoms and every doc I saw in that time felt it was enlarged. It finally took finding an old holistic doctor who didn't put so much stock in "normal" blood test results to get a diagnosis and start treatment. Temperature charting 2-3 times a day showed that I was always running 1-2 degrees below normal was a much better "test" for me, and painted a very clear picture when combined with my symptoms and physical exam. [/hijack]

Ragin, I agree you should investigate potential medical causes first. A really good endocrinologist and male sexual health/dysfunction (and not just ED, either) doc would probably be your best bet. My own orgasms changed very soon after I got pregnant with my son, and have only started to improve recently, as my hormones have started to return to normal (4 years later!).

 

[ragincajun99]

Interesting ideas everyone...especially the thyroid and endocrine system. Definitely will look into it. Erika your comment about never having a "normal" temp is spot on for me. I'm always 2-3 degrees below normal.

Thanks for the help. Wasn't sure if I should try to use supplements to treat it on my own or go the professional route but from other posts on ED issues, supplements just seem to add a variable I don't need. Sure do appreciate the great responses!

Oh and Goood, it sure would be easier if I was just losing my mind! haha

 

[Cathleen]

Welcome to Lit.

While it might be stress, it's probably unlikely your stressed changed a month ago -- considering the travel and college age kids etc.

Like the others mentioned, a medical checkup would be my first step. I hope it's nothing serious.

Best of luck.

 

[tonguedancer]

No expert here, but I've read that with age sometimes comes difficulty in reaching orgasm or perhaps less intense orgasms. I myself don't produce as much semen or shoot like I once did 40-50 years ago.

For one thing, sometimes NOT having sex quite as often and trying to "edge" when you do can increase the "bang" of the orgasm. One of the good things about aging is that that old "30 second shoot and it's over" problem goes away. It's why women often like older men. They can go longer without cumming. In fact may have to go longer without cumming. How often are you having sex? I've noticed that if I abstain for several days and if I "play a little" between actual orgasmic sex WITHOUT cumming (it's a bit of a self tease) when I finally do, it's more intense.

Also, you may want to change up what you do sexually. If you're one of these "usual missionary position hump and pump" guys, then maybe a little light bondage play or some other sort of thing that adds a little spice to the proceedings may help too.

Also, I would never say anything against seeing a doctor just to get checked out. You did NOT implay that there was any ED issue. It was "get hard, have sex, and cum". That sort of sounds boring to me. How about changing it up a bit. How is your partner with blowjobs? If she can tease you and not let you cum for about an hour before she let's you either fuck her or cum in her mouth, I guarantee that the long wait will help the "bang".

 

[Rozalin_0123]

Hi, Need some advice on a problem I just started experiencing. Recently, I've been able to achieve an orgasm but I don't have the same sensations as I used to. There is no tight muscle contractions or that "toe curling" feeling. It's just get hard, have sex and then cum, but without the bang so to speak.

Anyone ever had this issue? I've looked around Lit and in the Blank Manual and saw a lot on orgasms, but not that I can have one without the feeling. Also, just for some background, I'm a 49 year old male that has had a great sex life for ages. This just started a month or so ago.

Any help would be fantastic as I hope this isn't my future!

I do a lot of sex related reading and I remember seeing an in depth article talking about orgasms for both males and females. I remember reading that mid age men can develop a condition were you cum without orgasm. It gave several things that could cause this and I remember one of which was prostititus, which is an infection in the prostate gland. Regardless, the article suggested that someone experiencing these symptoms should contact a urologist for an exam.

As others suggested, you should see a doctor before the source becomes more problematic.

 

[Julietravels]

Are you taking an anti-depressant? A friend told me her husband was taking Effexor and he could not climax. She said he was easier to live with but it wasn't worth not feeling him cum in her. He quit taking the drug and went back to normal.

 

[SweetErika]

Interesting ideas everyone...especially the thyroid and endocrine system. Definitely will look into it. Erika your comment about never having a "normal" temp is spot on for me. I'm always 2-3 degrees below normal.

Thanks for the help. Wasn't sure if I should try to use supplements to treat it on my own or go the professional route but from other posts on ED issues, supplements just seem to add a variable I don't need. Sure do appreciate the great responses!

Oh and Goood, it sure would be easier if I was just losing my mind! haha

I'm the same way. Even when I had pneumonia, an ear and sinus infection a couple of months ago, my temperature was only slightly above normal! I have to tell new doctors that temperature isn't a good indication of illness in my case, even with thyroid medication.

Yeah, for sure start tracking your temps. I found this site very informative and helpful, and the site owner isn't trying to peddle anything. I'd suggest making an appointment with a good endocrinologist a month from now, and reading up, charting your temps and any symptoms in depth in the interim so you can relay that info to the doctor.

One thing to research is Armour Thyroid vs. Levothyroxine (Synthroid). Armour is a natural replacement, Synthroid is a synthetic one. Relatively few docs prescribe Armour these days, and pharmacies may have to order it (no biggie - I use Rite Aid and they get it by 2pm the next day if they're out, usually), BUT some people do vastly better on it than Synthroid.

There are all sorts of natural things you can do to support your endocrine system if you have an issue. Some are lifestyle issues (like not smoking, exercising, proper diet), but there are also some good (usually inexpensive) supplements that can help. I'd strongly suggest consulting with a sharp holistic doc or naturopath prior to taking any supplements, though. I believe the supplement route is always one that should be taken after you have a diagnosis and you're working with a good professional; otherwise, you very well could be wasting a bunch of money, time and risking your health by taking stuff you don't need or that can have interactions and side effects. The supplement industry is ridiculously unregulated, so it really pays to research thoroughly and work with someone who knows what they're doing WRT natural/holistic treatments.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you'll update us on what you learn so others have the chance to benefit from your experiences!

 

[bailadora]

You too, huh? My hypothyroidism went undiagnosed for about 15 years, even though I had the symptoms and every doc I saw in that time felt it was enlarged. It finally took finding an old holistic doctor who didn't put so much stock in "normal" blood test results to get a diagnosis and start treatment. Temperature charting 2-3 times a day showed that I was always running 1-2 degrees below normal was a much better "test" for me, and painted a very clear picture when combined with my symptoms and physical exam. [/hijack]

Yep. What's strange is that I did NOT exhibit the usual symptoms at all, aside from an intolerance to cold. But being that I'm a very thin woman, one might chalk it up to not having much insulation. Interestingly enough, the first clue I had was when I was trying to get pregnant, and I started charting my temps. Like you, they were a few degrees below normal, and info in TCOYF suggested this might indicate thyroid issues. I brought it up with my GP, who immediately referred me to an endocrinologist. Further testing with him indicated that yes, I do indeed have hypothyroidism. It's very slight, and I take a minimal amount of medicine each morning.

I thought your point on seeking holistic doctors was interesting. Since the early 90's, I've tended to seek physicians who are DO's. My perception is that they tend to be more open minded to alternatives outside of traditional medicine. I figure I get the best of both worlds.

 

[Bottomlover]

Are you taking an anti-depressant? A friend told me her husband was taking Effexor and he could not climax. She said he was easier to live with but it wasn't worth not feeling him cum in her. He quit taking the drug and went back to normal.

Sometimes changing drugs helps.

A friend once told me that he has a lot of trouble climaxing when he takes the drugs, but when he doesn't take them no one wants to play with him.

 

[ragincajun99]

No expert here, but I've read that with age sometimes comes difficulty in reaching orgasm or perhaps less intense orgasms. I myself don't produce as much semen or shoot like I once did 40-50 years ago.

For one thing, sometimes NOT having sex quite as often and trying to "edge" when you do can increase the "bang" of the orgasm. One of the good things about aging is that that old "30 second shoot and it's over" problem goes away. It's why women often like older men. They can go longer without cumming. In fact may have to go longer without cumming. How often are you having sex? I've noticed that if I abstain for several days and if I "play a little" between actual orgasmic sex WITHOUT cumming (it's a bit of a self tease) when I finally do, it's more intense.

Also, you may want to change up what you do sexually. If you're one of these "usual missionary position hump and pump" guys, then maybe a little light bondage play or some other sort of thing that adds a little spice to the proceedings may help too.

Also, I would never say anything against seeing a doctor just to get checked out. You did NOT implay that there was any ED issue. It was "get hard, have sex, and cum". That sort of sounds boring to me. How about changing it up a bit. How is your partner with blowjobs? If she can tease you and not let you cum for about an hour before she let's you either fuck her or cum in her mouth, I guarantee that the long wait will help the "bang".

Tongue, two things in response: All that traveling I do puts me away from sex for 5 days most all weeks unless I want a little self lovin' but lately even that doesn't have the bang when I cum so I figured no need to waste it and would hold off and see if that helped...it didn't.

Second, I would love to change it up with some light bondage or most anything but my wife is not much into anything but plain vanilla. We use a few positions but she is more about one and done than a marathon. She just says she can't have multiples so it just kind of stops after the first go-round. I'd pay to be the guy in another thread who's trying to survive his wife's "wild" stage during menopause!


As for drugs, none other than the multivitamins I take. Add that to the idea my stressors really haven't changed in the last year (college and travel) and it puts us back looking for medical answers I think. (Although I would love to try and hump my way out of this!)

Just as an update, I will definitely let you all know what happens. Dr appts for GP and Urologist set for late March and mid April. If anything happens before then I'll post it for sure as I hope it will help someone else. Frustrating as hell to orgasm and not feel anything.

Thanks again for all the help! Keep it coming and hopefully I can too!

 

[IntmtStrngr]

hey...

Hi, Need some advice on a problem I just started experiencing. Recently, I've been able to achieve an orgasm but I don't have the same sensations as I used to. There is no tight muscle contractions or that "toe curling" feeling. It's just get hard, have sex and then cum, but without the bang so to speak.

Anyone ever had this issue? I've looked around Lit and in the Blank Manual and saw a lot on orgasms, but not that I can have one without the feeling. Also, just for some background, I'm a 49 year old male that has had a great sex life for ages. This just started a month or so ago.

Any help would be fantastic as I hope this isn't my future!

Take it from someone who experienced very similar circumstances... RUN DO NOT WALK
to your next Doctors appt if you don't have one get one.
In my case it was diabetes, though borderline I had let things go for too long without getting checked
because of embarrassment.
It could be a myriad of things but get it checked out, before they have to start taking pieces of you,
under the guise of saving your life.

 

[craiggie501]

I suggest you read this book .. it starts with Naomi describing a very similar, if not exact experience .. I won't spoil it .. but it was neuro related .. and besides it does debunk a whole lot of the myths and enlightens about the female orgasm .. she was very sexual, and then, why still reaching orgasm, did not have the same mind-blowing highs she used to have ..

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13426037-vagina