HP Lovecraft vs. Star Wars & more !

[PayDay]

http://www.somethingawful.com/news/lovecraft-star-wars/

I will begin this tale of woe with a warning that must be heeded by all men of wisdom and constitution: do not follow the path I have trod, for in my travels I have come upon many things from which sane men recoil. Do not seek out that forbidden knowledge which was hidden long ago by beings from distant shores. Do not place a silvered disc into your queer player and project the image onto glass. If you are not driven to madness by the piping of black-eyed tavern-goers or the rantings of an ambushed squid-fiend, then you will be sickened by the acrobatics of a sinister clown holding colour in beams

Gets better, Many other authors, many other stupid things:
http://www.somethingawful.com/series/the-great-authors-series/

H.P. Lovecraft Writes Descriptions for the Sample Clips on Brazzers
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/lovecraft-brazzers-unspeakable/

George R. R. Martin Writes for a Baby Toy Catalog
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/thrones-games-babies/1/

Kurt Vonnegut Writes Descriptions for Sears Products
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/vonnegut-sears-random/1/

Enjoy

 

[Handley_Page]

Loved the H P Lovecraft bits.

 

[PayDay]

Tom Clancy's The Hunt For Meatless Burgers

"We have to exhaust every option, Mr--"

"They've all been exhausted!" snapped Ryan. "Mr. President, I have a team ready to go. We will retrieve the MorningStar Farms® Grillers® Chik'n Veggie Patties from that ship. Let the Flying Dragon trying to stop us. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an op to lead."

Jack Ryan turned and left the room.

http://www.somethingawful.com/news/rip-tom-clancy/1/

 

[PayDay]

Loved the H P Lovecraft bits.

Agreed. I don't like the actual author's stuff, but the guy who wrote the rip-off really put a lot of work into it.

 

[PayDay]

Edgar Allen Poe The Eternal Sleep Number
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/sleep-number-poe/1/

"Mattress delivery!" said the man on the other side of the door. I did not believe him, for we had only fantasized of a mattress, and yet, with an easy payment plan, affordable even for my salary as a part time digger of miserable holes, a man of devilish countenance from the Sleep Number store - Ted as I recall was his name (for it was inscribed upon his covering all) - had brought over a new mattress.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

HP Lovecraft is lost on me, I don't get his appeal to anyone.

 

[PayDay]

HP Lovecraft is lost on me, I don't get his appeal to anyone.

Different strokes...

 

[lovecraft68]

The Lovecraft bits were spot on!

I love the author(obviously) but if you read a lot of modern fiction then go back to him its a hard transition.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Different strokes...

I don't get Miley Cyrus, either.

 

[PayDay]

I don't get Miley Cyrus, either.

Nothing wrong with strippers, man