Newbie

[nyxwolf89]

For a while now I've been interested in bdsm, but know nothing about it. Would anyone want to be so kind enough to tell me about it. Maybe be the one person who might teach me bout it.

I'm 4'8" chubby long brown hair light brown eyes Hispanic with interests of men ages of 24-38

thanks for your time ----- Raine

 

[Sir_Winston54]

For a while now I've been interested in bdsm, but know nothing about it. Would anyone want to be so kind enough to tell me about it. Maybe be the one person who might teach me bout it.

I'm 4'8" chubby long brown hair light brown eyes Hispanic with interests of men ages of 24-38

thanks for your time ----- Raine

You can start by reviewing our Library (stickied near the top of this threads list) and looking into topics that seem interesting to you, as well as reading through the threads here in Talk (mostly the first page). You might also want to look into books like "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns," "SM101," etc., all recommended in various threads. Too, find one of Stella_Omega's posts and read her essay on Tops, Bottom, submissives and Dominants (linked through her signature line).

If, in one (or more) of those threads, you run into something that raises new questions/concerns in your mind, post that question/concern either as a new thread or a response in the thread.

 

[nyxwolf89]

You can start by reviewing our Library (stickied near the top of this threads list) and looking into topics that seem interesting to you, as well as reading through the threads here in Talk (mostly the first page). You might also want to look into books like "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns," "SM101," etc., all recommended in various threads. Too, find one of Stella_Omega's posts and read her essay on Tops, Bottom, submissives and Dominants (linked through her signature line).

If, in one (or more) of those threads, you run into something that raises new questions/concerns in your mind, post that question/concern either as a new thread or a response in the thread.

Thank you so much Sir_Winston54 ��

 

[nyxwolf89]

interested.....

I love the thought of being told what to do and when to do it
I love the thought of being tied up
I love the thought of being controlled
I always had a fetish of being a slut for my master


I've just never found anyone who was interested

 

[Loverskitten]

Try the BDSM personals

 

[Stella_Omega]

Join fetlife.com and search for groups in your area-- give yourself a chance to meet and get to know people that share your interest.

 

[Cervalo]

Turn your PM on.

I would love to talk with you

 

[CutieMouse]

Advice to the OP -

Turning your PMs on, will result in a million-and-ten emails from men who are looking for easy [free] cybersex.

If you WANT to enjoy a bit of fantasy and explore this stuff through the internet, you'll probably find plenty of opportunity by turning on your PMs.

If you DON'T want to wade through a bunch of PMs that may or may not offer a steady supply of material for the Asshat Awards thread, either don't turn on PMs, or answer them selectively.

 

[nyxwolf89]

Advice to the OP -

Turning your PMs on, will result in a million-and-ten emails from men who are looking for easy [free] cybersex.

If you WANT to enjoy a bit of fantasy and explore this stuff through the internet, you'll probably find plenty of opportunity by turning on your PMs.

If you DON'T want to wade through a bunch of PMs that may or may not offer a steady supply of material for the Asshat Awards thread, either don't turn on PMs, or answer them selectively.

Thank you for the advice

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Advice to the OP -

Turning your PMs on, will result in a million-and-ten emails from men who are looking for easy [free] cybersex.

If you WANT to enjoy a bit of fantasy and explore this stuff through the internet, you'll probably find plenty of opportunity by turning on your PMs.

If you DON'T want to wade through a bunch of PMs that may or may not offer a steady supply of material for the Asshat Awards thread, either don't turn on PMs, or answer them selectively.

Thank you for the advice

It was excellent advice, and applies even moreso in relation to people with a total of 3 posts

 

[owenrees]

I found fetlife good for talking but not so much for meets. Most people who i was talking to where not looking or had masters.

I think there are probably lots of people out there who are into the life style its just not the thing you can bring up over coffee lol,

 

[Prof Bill]

Some advice for you to take or ignore: When I started out in the scene all the people I knew agreed I was a Dom and all I needed was instruction. So, three wonderful subs--each with her own Dom--began to give me this instruction. It did not involve how to make knots, how to flog, or anything like that. Instead, what I learned was the psychology of a submissive, what excited/pleased/satisfied them, and how to treat submissives in a way that would meet both our needs. Eventually, after many conversations, lots of reading and other research, and some observation, they located a woman who was exploring (just as you are) and suggested to her that we get together. We both followed their suggestion and began our mutual journey. As it turned out, she elected not to continue. She loved sex and was a great partner but she did not need the added "juice" provided by D/s and/or BDSM. I, on the other hand, realized this was something I'd been searching for almost all my life.

So, my advice is, do the same thing. But I also recommend you do it as I did--patiently, slowly, with a desire to discover whether or not this is for you. If it is, wonderful. If it isn't, equally wonderful--you'll never have to wonder about it again.

Finally, be careful. I worked with mature, experienced subs. They warned me about the kinds of pseudo-doms that are out there, they told me of mistakes they had made, and so on. Basically, they were trying to teach me to be the kind of Dom they would like to have if they didn't already have their Dom.

Good luck to you.

 

[nyxwolf89]

Some advice for you to take or ignore: When I started out in the scene all the people I knew agreed I was a Dom and all I needed was instruction. So, three wonderful subs--each with her own Dom--began to give me this instruction. It did not involve how to make knots, how to flog, or anything like that. Instead, what I learned was the psychology of a submissive, what excited/pleased/satisfied them, and how to treat submissives in a way that would meet both our needs. Eventually, after many conversations, lots of reading and other research, and some observation, they located a woman who was exploring (just as you are) and suggested to her that we get together. We both followed their suggestion and began our mutual journey. As it turned out, she elected not to continue. She loved sex and was a great partner but she did not need the added "juice" provided by D/s and/or BDSM. I, on the other hand, realized this was something I'd been searching for almost all my life.

So, my advice is, do the same thing. But I also recommend you do it as I did--patiently, slowly, with a desire to discover whether or not this is for you. If it is, wonderful. If it isn't, equally wonderful--you'll never have to wonder about it again.

Finally, be careful. I worked with mature, experienced subs. They warned me about the kinds of pseudo-doms that are out there, they told me of mistakes they had made, and so on. Basically, they were trying to teach me to be the kind of Dom they would like to have if they didn't already have their Dom.

Good luck to you.

Thank u for the advice

 

[nyxwolf89]

Some advice for you to take or ignore: When I started out in the scene all the people I knew agreed I was a Dom and all I needed was instruction. So, three wonderful subs--each with her own Dom--began to give me this instruction. It did not involve how to make knots, how to flog, or anything like that. Instead, what I learned was the psychology of a submissive, what excited/pleased/satisfied them, and how to treat submissives in a way that would meet both our needs. Eventually, after many conversations, lots of reading and other research, and some observation, they located a woman who was exploring (just as you are) and suggested to her that we get together. We both followed their suggestion and began our mutual journey. As it turned out, she elected not to continue. She loved sex and was a great partner but she did not need the added "juice" provided by D/s and/or BDSM. I, on the other hand, realized this was something I'd been searching for almost all my life.

So, my advice is, do the same thing. But I also recommend you do it as I did--patiently, slowly, with a desire to discover whether or not this is for you. If it is, wonderful. If it isn't, equally wonderful--you'll never have to wonder about it again.

Finally, be careful. I worked with mature, experienced subs. They warned me about the kinds of pseudo-doms that are out there, they told me of mistakes they had made, and so on. Basically, they were trying to teach me to be the kind of Dom they would like to have if they didn't already have their Dom.

Good luck to you.

Thanks for the advice

 

[ineeda_daddydom]

really good advice Prof Bill

there really should be a program like that which buddies up new people in the lifestyle with veterans so they can learn the "ropes" =)

 

[Prince Albert]

really good advice Prof Bill

there really should be a program like that which buddies up new people in the lifestyle with veterans so they can learn the "ropes" =)

Great idea!! Just not sure how to set it?? Too many people read: "50 Shades of Grey & think thbey are instand Doms!!!

 

[ineeda_daddydom]

Great idea!! Just not sure how to set it?? Too many people read: "50 Shades of Grey & think thbey are instand Doms!!!

people vouching for them? multiple choice quiz? tribunal q&a session? trial by fire?