Domestic Violence in Gay relationships

[MissTaken]

I remember a number of years back, I was on call. A young man called me and told me his gay live in partner had isolated him, was demeaning and that even had been physically violent with him.

Now, if the caller were female, I would have gone out, visited her, taken her to a shelter where they would then assist her to seek an Order of Protection and provide safe housing.

Because the caller was male, all I could suggest was that he contact the police. He had already done that, they had visited and told him his option was to kick out the gay lover as it was the "victim's" name on the lease.

So, in essence, he was abused, frightened adn expected to take the initiative to "throw out" the lover. Never would a woman be expected to do the same, at least, not on her own and without several armed police officers.

It just seems sad that there are so few services and options for gay men who are involved in abusive relationships.

Is this still the case?

Are the dynamics of gay domestic violence any different than heterosexual domestic violence?

And treatment?

Any comments?

 

[Etoile]

The Open Directory Project has a category of links about this.

http://dmoz.org/Society/Gay,_Lesbian,_and_Bisexual/Family_and_Relationships/Domestic_Violence/

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Wow, eye opening post!

 

[Etoile]

Wow, eye opening post!

Absolutely. The problem of gay domestic violence is brushed under the rug but good.

 

[Nicefella]

I remember a number of years back, I was on call. A young man called me and told me his gay live in partner had isolated him, was demeaning and that even had been physically violent with him.

Now, if the caller were female, I would have gone out, visited her, taken her to a shelter where they would then assist her to seek an Order of Protection and provide safe housing.

Because the caller was male, all I could suggest was that he contact the police. He had already done that, they had visited and told him his option was to kick out the gay lover as it was the "victim's" name on the lease.

So, in essence, he was abused, frightened adn expected to take the initiative to "throw out" the lover. Never would a woman be expected to do the same, at least, not on her own and without several armed police officers.

It just seems sad that there are so few services and options for gay men who are involved in abusive relationships.

Is this still the case?

Are the dynamics of gay domestic violence any different than heterosexual domestic violence?

And treatment?

Any comments?

Looking back at a post from 20+ years ago I hope things have changed. I know they have in NJ and that TROs and FROs are routinely granted against same sex partners here. Police departments are also a lot better at resolving such disputes as well. All in all progress has happened but a lot more work to be done.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I can see where it would be truly under-reported with far less interest from the police to intervene. But to be fair, it is also like that with abuse from heterosexual relationships too where women abuse men.

Without question there is some gender inequality happening for law enforcement and corrections. I watched a show two days ago where a lady and a man were taken to court for conspiracy to commit murder. For the same offense, he got 6 years, while she got 93 days in jail. It was actually her finger on the trigger that killed the man, it was just his gun. The sentences should have rightly been reversed.

 

[Nicefella]

I can see where it would be truly under-reported with far less interest from the police to intervene. But to be fair, it is also like that with abuse from heterosexual relationships too where women abuse men.

Without question there is some gender inequality happening for law enforcement and corrections. I watched a show two days ago where a lady and a man were taken to court for conspiracy to commit murder. For the same offense, he got 6 years, while she got 93 days in jail. It was actually her finger on the trigger that killed the man, it was just his gun. The sentences should have rightly been reversed.

Absolutely agree.

 

[CD_Bree]

Abuse should be the same across the board. Gender should have no influence on prosecution. It's wrong regardless of sexual orientation