help...male considering becoming a sub...needs advice....

[TheYoungGentleman]

I guess there's a few things I want to know

what would be a good reason to become a sub?

I know that the dom/sub relationship is supposed to be one of ultimate trust(among other things)...so how is the sub supposed to find a worthy dom without getting hurt?

what is the collar? and what does it mean to be given one by your master/mistress?

 

[TJReilly]

What would be a good reason to become a sub?
There is only one reason to be a sub: because you have a need, (not just a desire but a need), to submit to and serve another. It is not a need you can create or justify. It is just who you are.

How do you find a worthy Dom?
You understand and set your limits, (as best you can as a novice), and look for a responsible Dom who is willing to accept those limits. A Dom does not have carte blanche power over the sub. If the Dom cannot accept your limits, find someone else.

What is a collar?
Even though there is a physical collar involved, it is symbolic. When you accept a collar, it means you have submitted to and intend to devote your servitude to a single Master or Mistress.

 

[kyrie1595]

Very sound advice. ~smiles~

 

[TheYoungGentleman]

What would be a good reason to become a sub?
There is only one reason to be a sub: because you have a need, (not just a desire but a need), to submit to and serve another. It is not a need you can create or justify. It is just who you are.

How do you find a worthy Dom?
You understand and set your limits, (as best you can as a novice), and look for a responsible Dom who is willing to accept those limits. A Dom does not have carte blanche power over the sub. If the Dom cannot accept your limits, find someone else.

What is a collar?
Even though there is a physical collar involved, it is symbolic. When you accept a collar, it means you have submitted to and intend to devote your servitude to a single Master or Mistress.

thank you...those are some helpful answers.

 

[TheYoungGentleman]

...that leads me to another...

what are some characteristics of a good dom?

 

[TJReilly]

...that leads me to another...

what are some characteristics of a good dom?

That's a good question, but also a very difficult question to answer. The best answer I can give is: Is he someone you can look up to and respect, someone whom you would feel fulfilled in serving. There isn't a one-size-fits-all description of a Dom, rather it's how he makes you feel as a sub.

 

[Primalex]

what would be a good reason to become a sub?

What would be a good reason to become gay?

what are some characteristics of a good dom?

What are some characteristics of a good gay?

 

[TJReilly]

A compliment to the OP's choice of names, "TheYoungGentleman", a good male sub should be a gentleman, just as a good female sub should be a respectful lady.

 

[TheYoungGentleman]

That's a good question, but also a very difficult question to answer. The best answer I can give is: Is he someone you can look up to and respect, someone whom you would feel fulfilled in serving. There isn't a one-size-fits-all description of a Dom, rather it's how he makes you feel as a sub.

hmmm, I can dig that.

A compliment to the OP's choice of names, "TheYoungGentleman", a good male sub should be a gentleman, just as a good female sub should be a respectful lady.

Thank you.

What would be a good reason to become gay?



What are some characteristics of a good gay?

I can't answer that as I'm a breeder and have no romantic interest in males.

but I imagine It would be as in any relationship. you have a person you love, that person makes you feel loved and you want to be with them....

respect...towards oneself and to others??? I don't know man, flying by the seat of my pants here.

 

[TJReilly]

I can't answer that as I'm a breeder and have no romantic interest in males.

I think a point needs to be made here. Being submissive to a male Dom does not automatically include sex. Being submissive is about a need to submit to and serve another person. How the sub serves the Dom, depends on the individual needs of the sub and his Dom.

 

[MBFemale]

That's a good question, but also a very difficult question to answer. The best answer I can give is: Is he someone you can look up to and respect, someone whom you would feel fulfilled in serving. There isn't a one-size-fits-all description of a Dom, rather it's how he makes you feel as a sub.

I think a point needs to be made here. Being submissive to a male Dom does not automatically include sex. Being submissive is about a need to submit to and serve another person. How the sub serves the Dom, depends on the individual needs of the sub and his Dom.

Well said on both TJ.
Every Dom is different and not every Dom is for every sub. It is not all about sex...so much more. Pleasing and serving Him, He offers his protection in return.
Respect...I have great respect for Him and treat Him as such. He makes sure that no one disrespects me.

Just my 2 cents

 

[TheYoungGentleman]

I think a point needs to be made here. Being submissive to a male Dom does not automatically include sex. Being submissive is about a need to submit to and serve another person. How the sub serves the Dom, depends on the individual needs of the sub and his Dom.

good point...however, that's unrelated to the question I was asked.

anyway, I cannot, with good conscience, give another man that kind of power over me...I damn well know what goes on in a male mind...not appealing to me at all.

I will however spar fully when I find a suitable partner, male or female...the unique experience of communicating with ones fists is surreal.
...but that's a whole other human phenomena.