Curious, Kinky, or Submissive

[LuvMeTilitHurts]

Hello
Im an african american female that originally found Literotica in search of erotic stories. Since then I discovered the personals and decided to write my first post. I would describe myself as an introvert so social networking can be overwhelming for me. Due to the nature of my dilemma I feel the personals would be a good place to start. In recent years I have become interested in a LIGHT D/s relationships. I'm trying to determine if Im curious, kinky, or submissive. The punishment aspect of the D/s terrifies me. I fear putting myself in an abusive situation. However the thought of letting go and surrendering to someone arouses me. I'm not sure how to proceed in discovering if I'm curious, kinky, or submissive. Thanks

 

[ForHerToUse]

Hello
Im an african american female that originally found Literotica in search of erotic stories. Since then I discovered the personals and decided to write my first post. I would describe myself as an introvert so social networking can be overwhelming for me. Due to the nature of my dilemma I feel the personals would be a good place to start. In recent years I have become interested in a LIGHT D/s relationships. I'm trying to determine if Im curious, kinky, or submissive. The punishment aspect of the D/s terrifies me. I fear putting myself in an abusive situation. However the thought of letting go and surrendering to someone arouses me. I'm not sure how to proceed in discovering if I'm curious, kinky, or submissive. Thanks

This is a good start to answering your question. Enjoy the journey.

 

[LuvMeTilitHurts]

Thank you to all the gentlemen that sent private messages

 

[Prince Albert]

Asking is a good way to start. There is a very fine line between abuse & the BDSM relationship. Sometimes abuse can be DS, & sometimes DS can be abuse.

 

[LuvMeTilitHurts]

How does a Dom keep from abusing his power?

 

[TJReilly]

How does a Dom keep from abusing his power?

You have to choose a responsible Dom who knows your limits. It is your right as a sub to set your limits before the relationship begins, and those agreed rights can be changed only by mutual agreement. The Dom does not have carte blanche power. If he thinks he does, you have the wrong Dom.

 

[MeekMe]

BDSM Talk

Check out that area of the board. It's not for personals, but lots of folks there have experience to share. Learn as much as you can. ^_^ Knowing what you want is sometimes difficult and it helps to have the POV of someone else.

 

[Primalex]

I'm trying to determine if Im curious, kinky, or submissive.

Neither.

D/s cannot fix mental problems.

 

[eye_see_me]

You are absolutely right to be careful. The advice to review the bdsm thread is a great start. I'd also try it out with a dom that is willing to introduce you to the lifestyle. Set Your expectations early in the relationship and be certain to understand his or her's. I'd also review some posts that your prospective dom has written or commented on. This way you get a sense of the tastes and expectations a head of time. Remember, you are in charge and only give away that control you're comfortable giving up.

Good luck

Edit: there are many bullies and idiots, some will post on here too, ignore them. Enjoy your exploration and have fun.

 

[eye_see_me]

Neither.

D/s cannot fix mental problems.

Was that really necessary? Don't think so...

 

[kucked2x]

Was that really necessary? Don't think so...

Applausing your post.

 

[BadTeacher49m]

Was that really necessary? Don't think so...

For him, yes. D/s hasn't fixed his mental problems.

 

[LuvMeTilitHurts]

You are absolutely right to be careful. The advice to review the bdsm thread is a great start. I'd also try it out with a dom that is willing to introduce you to the lifestyle. Set Your expectations early in the relationship and be certain to understand his or her's. I'd also review some posts that your perspective dom has written or commented on. This way you get a sense of the tastes and expectations a head of time. Remember, you are in charge and only give away that control you're comfortable giving up.

Good luck

Edit: there are many bullies and idiots, some will post on here too, ignore them. Enjoy your exploration and have fun.

Thank You!

 

[eye_see_me]

Thank You!

You're very welcome.

 

[LuvMeTilitHurts]

BDSM Talk

Check out that area of the board. It's not for personals, but lots of folks there have experience to share. Learn as much as you can. ^_^ Knowing what you want is sometimes difficult and it helps to have the POV of someone else.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Primalex]

Was that really necessary? Don't think so...

I think it is.

You wouldn't tell a sub to date a mentally unstable Dom, would you?

This leads to the question: Are women by definition mentally stable, because they have tits and pussies you like to put your dick in? No sorry, there are as many fucked up subs as there are Doms. Not my fault that you lack the experience to know this.

And if you are mentally unstable, you need to a get an expert for mental issues, not a Dom.

 

[dreamykitten2]

Firstly u need to take things slow

How does a Dom keep from abusing his power?

Find out what u like ! Read, read, read. Secondly what I've learned and it's taken awhile to understand this as a sub U really have all the power. When u find the right Dom u will be able to know that thru asking questions and developing trust. You will test this in many ways prior to ever getting physically involved. Personally I started online and progressed to a RL situation. Everyone is different and u need to know yourself extremely well. As I stated before read! Start with the bdsm talk section or read bdsm stories find out what pushes your buttons ! Once u know what turns u on u can then proceed to reading about D/a relationships and what u will need from it u will determine. Then read Dom personals look at what they are looking for do u match up with your likes and dislikes? This is paramount. What are your limits make sure u know and stick to them.

Do not post a personal ad for yourself ( as in looking for a Dom) people will flood your in box ! Make sure u are ready if u do.

These are just some tips u may find helpful. I was a newbie once and I wished I had had someone to give me pointers. Don't rush take your time! And finally I hope u find what sends u. Bdsm is a wonderful place full of many facets it's NOT all about pain! Good luck

Kitten

 

[eye_see_me]

I think it is.

You wouldn't tell a sub to date a mentally unstable Dom, would you?

This leads to the question: Are women by definition mentally stable, because they have tits and pussies you like to put your dick in? No sorry, there are as many fucked up subs as there are Doms. Not my fault that you lack the experience to know this.

And if you are mentally unstable, you need to a get an expert for mental issues, not a Dom.

I think you make broad assumptions about someone based on a single post. She clearly is looking for help not judgment.

Having stumbled across your name on other posts I have come to see you as someone that loves to stir up drama. You must really have no control in your own life. Sorry you can only feel better by putting others down. Personally I have no use for people that are bullies like yourself. Hope you find some happiness though and soon.

 

[LuvMeTilitHurts]

I think you make broad assumptions about someone based on a single post. She clearly is looking for help not judgment.

Having stumbled across your name on other posts I have come to see you as someone that loves to stir up drama. You must really have no control in your own life. Sorry you can only feel better by putting others down. Personally I have no use for people that are bullies like yourself. Hope you find some happiness though and soon.

Please don't waste your time responding to this person. It's time you can never get back. Thank you again for being protective.

 

[Proximus]

Read this post by Stella_Omega. It should be required reading for all newbies!!! And I mean this is a good way! Good Luck!

Top, bottom, dominant, submissive

 

[fma20fma]

hi

Read this post by Stella_Omega. It should be required reading for all newbies!!! And I mean this is a good way! Good Luck!

Top, bottom, dominant, submissive

bottom submissive.

 

[Primalex]

I think you make broad assumptions about someone based on a single post. She clearly is looking for help not judgment.

A trait that creates significant impairment in school, work or social environments is a disorder. Like it or not.


If someone is looking for a good knife for suicide, I'm not going to say:"Hey, get a Bowie knife, they are the best!", even if they are the best. You are responsible for your actions, I'm responsible for mine. I'm not blaming you for helping her the way you think is right, so don't tell me how I should help the people.