Terms of praise

[Oubliette123]

We often refer to the wonderfully humiliating names our PYL's call us, for me, I'm his bitch or slut. I have two collars, one with bitch written on it and one with slut-he decides which one I wear at any given time.

On the flip side, words of encouragement are also important and have an equal 'knee weakening' affect. The words that make me glow with pride that I have completed a task, or persevered through a session to his pleasing are 'Good girl'. He has the power to reproduce those feelings even when we are doing normal day to day things-I have done the dishes and he says 'good girl', it spins my head space right back to those precious intimate times after a session. If I'm needing encouragement he will say something like 'one more baby'.

The power exchange behind those simple words whether they are praising, encouraging or humiliating can send shock waves and a whole new level to BDSM.

Who needs this extra level in their playtime and who doesn't? Curious to know how other people develop or ignore this mental aspect of BDSM.

 

[MeekMe]

No names like bitch or slut, here. I do love getting a "good job" or "you did well/good."

 

[Redrosewitch]

No names like bitch or slut, here. I do love getting a "good job" or "you did well/good."

Yes, words of praise are good. Bitch, slut, cunt and whore I'm fine with. Just so long as there are no personal insults.

 

[KoPilot]

Yeah, he does the humiliation thing without using derogatory names. I don't think he has it in him, and I'm not big on them anyway because they're all words that reference femininity and I prefer to remain ungendered in my play.

But "good pet" does make me turn to jelly~

 

[Redrosewitch]

Yeah, he does the humiliation thing without using derogatory names. (I don't think he has it in him anyway.)

But "good pet" does make me turn to jelly~

Yes. * Good pet * Has me just about panting.

 

[unicorn64]

I couldn't accept good pet. I am not a pet. I am a woman, all woman and if I ever get a PYL I will not be a pet anything. I do like to hear Good Girl though. Even from my vanilla friend. He's good at that, he doesn't realize he has become dominant.

 

[KinkyPan]

I use phrases like that pretty casually sometimes, I think. It's nice to be sitting watching television or something, ask my partner to pass me something, and then thank em for it with ruffled hair and a word of praise. I like the twitch it gets me. Of course, sometimes it happens in a much sexier context, and I tend to use dirtier words then.

I basically match stuff up from two columns:

What a...
good
eager
obedient
polite
sweet
sexy

(little, sometimes)
slut
boy/girl
pet
fucktoy
fuckhole
cunt
dildo
subbie
bitch

...etc., etc. I only use "whore" if my partner is really into that, because it's not a favourite of mine.

 

[knot_sweet]

Honestly? Not so good with praise, compliments, gifts or basically anything even vaguely 'nice' from the people in my life.

I assume people who compliment me are just taking the piss, being condescending or polite for the look of it.

The ultimate way to compliment me without making me switch off or dismiss it entirely? "That wasn't terrible" or a small display of affection like a kiss on the cheek followed by a simple 'thank you'.


During play is different... but even then not so good with the nice thing. I take cum as the ultimate compliment. Cum or good tears or both.

 

[celestialdragon]

I love words of praise. Especially a good girl or that's it baby. I also enjoy good little one or good kitten.

 

[desertslave]

Yup, I'm not ashamed to admit that I need the praise and appreciate every "good girl" that I earn. It's a sweet validation of my actions and confirmation that he truly is paying attention.

 

[Netzach]

I use that's it! as validating language most often, or "good work."

 

[Pachet]

"good girl" and "good pet" always get me. And I do need to hear them.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I love hearing "I adore you" It's even better than "I love you"

 

[knot_sweet]

My ex and I used a pet name for each other to replace the 'I love you' and to indicate extreme intimacy.

I used 'bong' for him. It's a commonly used short form of the longer Cambodian phrase 'bong somlaihn'.

He used 'mo chuisle' for me. It's a short form of the Gaelic 'a chuisle mo chroi'.

 

[Kim_Burly]

I love both insults and praise equally. I love when he is standing up, using his hands in my hair to yank my head back and forth, while he stands still with a running commentary of how useless and dirty I am, in a nasty tone. Then when he is finished and I am at his feet as he sits, he gently runs his hands through my hair, tenderly stroking my face while sweetly telling me I am a good girl, how much he loves me and how he can't live without me .

My ex and I used a pet name for each other to replace the 'I love you' and to indicate extreme intimacy.

I used 'bong' for him. It's a commonly used short form of the longer Cambodian phrase 'bong somlaihn'.

He used 'mo chuisle' for me. It's a short form of the Gaelic 'a chuisle mo chroi'.

 

[Beck31]

"Good boy" or "That's a good little pup/piglet" while getting my ears scratched or my belly rubbed" really helps my self confidence.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

"Infallible love god" gives me goosebumps on my prostate every time.

 

[IrisAlthea]

"Infallible love god" gives me goosebumps on my prostate every time.

Time for a name change?
Then we'd all call you InfalliableLoveGod all the time.

 

[annayarnkitten]

"Baby Girl you did that so well!"

 

[lilturtle]

I like good girl a lot. Also the pet names he uses make me feel really good. I haven't heard them in a few days and that makes me sad.

 

[Redrosewitch]

I like good girl a lot. Also the pet names he uses make me feel really good. I haven't heard them in a few days and that makes me sad.

* Hugs *

 

[Redrosewitch]

"Infallible love god" gives me goosebumps on my prostate every time.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I bet it does.

 

[Redrosewitch]

"Baby Girl you did that so well!"

Baby Girl is so sweet isn't it ? Makes you feel cherished and cared for.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Time for a name change?
Then we'd all call you InfalliableLoveGod all the time.

There are so many Lit InfallibleLoveGods. I'd have to take something like InfallibleLuvGod_2007. Also, the acronym would be ILG, which sounds like a Swedish teen insult.

Will my long nightmare never end??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I bet it does.

Well, that's what I've been told.

Hmm. I count six "good girl/boy" votes, not including variations like "pet" or, um, "job."
It's a landslide, in the popular vote and the electoral.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I think I will add that phrases that use the word "proud" seem to be endearing in their own special way.