How to attract a dominatrix
- Thread starter Ssbn659b
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Loverskitten
I bite
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- Oct 5, 2011
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Pay her
MeekMe
Literotica Guru
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I suggest learning as much as you can. Getting to know local groups in your area or posting in the personals sections. Everyone has different standards and needs. Perhaps you should evaluate what YOU want in a Domme before looking for one to take you on. It's a two way street and you should know what you want to negotiate.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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Then you are looking for a 'dominant woman'. 'Dominatrix' is a job description, just saying.
My suggestion is to join fetlife.com, see what kinds of events are happening in your area, and go socialise. See what dominance looks like. Figure out what you have to offer a woman-- any woman-- any partner, and make it visible. That doesn't mean strut your fedora-wearing self. Gentility, attentiveness, a general sense of respect for yourself and others, are a good start. I'm not saying you have to be a paragon at any of these things, but show that you're working on them. Hmm, that would work for almost any woman, kinky or vanilla, come to think of it.
But when you say "submissive" and "dominant" are you sure you know what those words mean? Please read the essay in my signature. See if it's useful information for you.
My suggestion is to join fetlife.com, see what kinds of events are happening in your area, and go socialise. See what dominance looks like. Figure out what you have to offer a woman-- any woman-- any partner, and make it visible. That doesn't mean strut your fedora-wearing self. Gentility, attentiveness, a general sense of respect for yourself and others, are a good start. I'm not saying you have to be a paragon at any of these things, but show that you're working on them. Hmm, that would work for almost any woman, kinky or vanilla, come to think of it.
But when you say "submissive" and "dominant" are you sure you know what those words mean? Please read the essay in my signature. See if it's useful information for you.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Excellent!
Dyslexicea
Literotica Guru
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Love it!
You've gotten some good advice here. I want to reinforce that a dominant woman is still a person. Being dominant sexually doesn't necessarily mean we don't want a partner who's compatible on other levels as well. You may be the Best Sub Evar, but if you're a jerk with poor hygeine and a worse attitude, you're not going to have a lot of luck.
You're not clear about whether you're looking for a play partner or a romantic relationship, but either way your job is to be a generally respectful, considerate, interesting person, and your challenge is going to be finding someone you're compatible with.
Dating in the kink world is a lot like dating in the vanilla one; there's just another "must have" compatibility factor added in. Do what's worked for you before, with an added dash of respect and communication, and you should be fine.
Oh, and do double-check the link in Stella_Omega's signature. If you're actually looking for a service Top and you wind up with a dominant woman, both of you are going to be awfully disappointed.
You're not clear about whether you're looking for a play partner or a romantic relationship, but either way your job is to be a generally respectful, considerate, interesting person, and your challenge is going to be finding someone you're compatible with.
Dating in the kink world is a lot like dating in the vanilla one; there's just another "must have" compatibility factor added in. Do what's worked for you before, with an added dash of respect and communication, and you should be fine.
Oh, and do double-check the link in Stella_Omega's signature. If you're actually looking for a service Top and you wind up with a dominant woman, both of you are going to be awfully disappointed.
