Sex pillows

[CuriousThroat2]

I've mentioned on other threads that my wife and I are trying to conceive. During the Important O Days, it's missionary with her hips propped to maximize her-- umm-- cumdumpsterness? Get as much to the cervix and hold it there for as long as possible.

We've been trying various things, including throw pillows, regular pillows, rolled up towels. Either they're uncomfortable for her, or don't prop her high enough (too much drips out), or they stick out and hit my knees and I can't get close enough to her to get in deep.

I've heard of sex pillows-- basically wedges that will prop her hips, give me knee space, and keep her lower back happy over extended periods of time. Does anyone have any experience with them? Any brands or models to recommend?

Unfortunately, all signs are pointing to this cycle being a Big Fucking Negative-- and if so, I'd like to order one of these as soon as possible.

Thanks!

 

[pplwatching]

We have a Liberator brand wedge. It's much firmer than pillows, which tend to compress under vigorous ... exercise. The incline is gentle and it's very supportive. It was fairly expensive for what it is, but we get a lot of use out of it. The cover is removable and washable which is a big plus. I'd imagine you could make something similar if you're on a budget, but if you're looking for good support I'd give it two thumbs up. It allows deep penetration. We like it.

 

[Primalex]

We've been trying various things, including throw pillows, regular pillows, rolled up towels.

How about trying less desperation?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Liberator has everything you need for what you are looking for in the way of shapes and such, but I don't know if they help with conception issues.

As someone mentioned earlier, the wedge or the ramp are what you describe.

 

[Dakotacpl]

We have the Liberator Axis...both love it!

 

[CuriousThroat2]

How long have you been trying to conceive for?

Infertility is a hard road, trust me I know, and a pillow might be fun but not the fix you need.

Just finished cycle 16. =(

Seeing a fertility specialist. On "nothing wrong, unexplained". So clomid, progesterone supps, various vitamins for me. The usual avoid caffeine (hard), don't drink (easy), etc, etc.

Hips propped falls into that "maybe works maybe doesn't, but doesn't hurt to try". Cumming as deep into her as possible is just common sense. So a wedge might do nothing, or it might give my guys the head start they need. Worse case scenario, we spent dinner and a movie $ on a new sex toy. =)

Thanks for the suggestions, checking out the Liberator site now, looks like fun. Will order.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

you can get a wedge pillow at a medical supply store. Mine was about $25. They come in multiple sizes.. you can get a cover for it. Our local drug store stocks them.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Giggle beat me to it. Any good medical supply store will have a fairly wide variety of wedge shaped pillows.

 

[CuriousThroat2]

Splurged on the wedge plus a case. It was, of course, $5 underneath the discount threshold. Almost like they planned it that way. =)

So I added one more thing to cart as a-- surprise-- for her. There's a chance she'll join the forum before UPS gets the package here, so I'll leave it at that. (and, of course, post about it later )

 

[pplwatching]

Infertility and trying to conceive is a really, really difficult and all consuming thing to go through.

Amen, sister.

When we were trying to get pregnant with our first we made the mistake of telling the inlaws that we were trying. For a couple of years it was "Well? Well? Well?" No pressure, eh? We went through a round of fertility drugs which did nothing. What did the trick was going to a concert a few hundred miles away, followed by a night in a hotel room joking about second hand smoke. Just had to wear down her egg's resistance.

Then came number two ... I knew how long it took to get pregnant the first time so I agreed to "start early" to get some practice in She got pregnant right away.

Of course I can only joke about it in hindsight. It definately sucked at the time.

Best of luck to you guys! I hope your future is filled with trouble free little ones.

 

[CuriousThroat2]

You may need to go to IVF if the clomid is a no go. Clomid did nothing for us, but we fell pregnant quickly with IVF. I wish you lots of luck, infertility and trying to conceive is a really, really difficult and all consuming thing to go through.

It's pretty much been our lives for nearly two years. At least we have a few good support systems in place. It's really one of those things that unless you've been through it, you just can't understand how emotionally draining it is. If I have to hear "Oh, all you have to do is relax and let it happen" one more time-- grr. (It's second only to asking an author "how's your novel going?")

After cycle 24, we're going to decide which route we're going. Given there's nothing overly wrong with either of us, we're probably better to go IUI, but we've talked about IVF. We're in with one of the best fertility clinics in the country, so there's that. Otherwise, we've talked about adoption. It's just that's a whole other kettle of all-consuming fish. =)

When we were trying to get pregnant with our first we made the mistake of telling the inlaws that we were trying. For a couple of years it was "Well? Well? Well?" No pressure, eh?

*shudder* My in laws know, but that's because my inlaws are supportive and caring. I haven't told my side of the family anything for this exact reason.

What did the trick was going to a concert a few hundred miles away, followed by a night in a hotel room joking about second hand smoke. Just had to wear down her egg's resistance.

lol. Yeah, I know it's all a numbers game. Until the 2 year ttc mark, each boink is a new flip of a heavily weighted coin.

 

[Dakotacpl]

Glad you did order that pillow....you will love it! Can't wait to hear about that surprise!

 

[Aphro]

I've mentioned on other threads that my wife and I are trying to conceive. During the Important O Days, it's missionary with her hips propped to maximize her-- umm-- cumdumpsterness? Get as much to the cervix and hold it there for as long as possible.

Unless she happens to have a retroverted uterus, in which case propping of hips while lying on the back is not recommended. In this case, it's better to have sex doggy style, and lie face down afterwards, letting the semen pool at the front of the vagina.

PSA for those of us with retroverted, or "tipped" uteruses.

 

[CuriousThroat2]

Unless she happens to have a retroverted uterus, in which case propping of hips while lying on the back is not recommended. In this case, it's better to have sex doggy style, and lie face down afterwards, letting the semen pool at the front of the vagina.

As far as I know, it'll all pointed in the right directions, based on the ultrasounds. Of course, that doesn't mean that we SHOULDN'T enjoy doggy style-- mmmm.

 

[FlyAwayFromHere]

hubby and I are also TTC. The pillows suck so might have to get a wedge.

came off the pill on 5th september... had first flow this month and on big O atm... so this is the first month we will have a good chance.

Have used O tests so know that i do ovulate, which is a pressure off...

Do you go mental at it every day? Every other day is better as it gives the sperm time to mature.

Dont lose hope though, because someone in my family had unprotected sex for ten years with hubby no success, then 5 kids in 5 years with no help! so it can just be luck too.

good luck x

 

[CuriousThroat2]

came off the pill on 5th september... had first flow this month and on big O atm... so this is the first month we will have a good chance.

Good luck to you! It can take up to 3 months for the pill to fully flush out, so you "might" have to just put up with a few months of constant, wild, unprotected sex. =)

Have used O tests so know that i do ovulate, which is a pressure off...

I think we're closing in on our 1000th opk. =) Thank goodness for being able to bulk order from the Internet, where they cost, like, $0.80 each instead of $10 or whatever the drug stores charge.

Do you go mental at it every day? Every other day is better as it gives the sperm time to mature.

It's changed over time, but in general-- every other day from the end of her period until 3 days before ovulation. Then every day for those 3 days before and 3 days after. Every other day after that for insurance.

There seems to be a bit of a divide amongst fertility researches if it should be every other, or once-per-24 hours, or what. My wife is a biologist and loves research, so has read a crapton of studies-- and gets frustrated at the lack of consensus. lol But then again, there's shockingly little work being done on studying human (in)fertility. Lack of research subjects, mainly (understandably).

I've been doing everything I can to keep my guys on the up and up. I already didn't smoke or drink (much) or eat unhealthy-- but I've given up alcohol completely, and we eat even better than ever. The only thing that's come up on any tests is a statistically-insignificant lower motility rate for me (how fast and well they move), but I've been taking the prescribed supplements. Even though the pills are in a "natural vegetable-based casing"-- which means they smell like an onion's anus if that onion just had a garlic burrito. =P

Dont lose hope though, because someone in my family had unprotected sex for ten years with hubby no success, then 5 kids in 5 years with no help! so it can just be luck too.

I'm the self-appointed optimist in the venture. There's scientific proof behind the power of positive thinking, after all. =) It's been harder over the past couple cycles-- especially with the holidays approaching, and we're down one stocking-- and my side of the family is, umm, not to go on a rant, but let's just say they're breeders who are less than sensitive to our troubles. Meh. Anyways-- thanks for the good thoughts. Being able to talk about the fertility issues with friendly-minded people has been a major and unexpected positive benefit of posting on Lit. =)

 

[FlyAwayFromHere]

well i am a science nerd (i studied forensics and criminal psychology before having to give it up).

soi do research too, but i generally made my own mind up over it using my own common sense... bare with me but heres what i have come up with so far.

There is debate as to how long sperm can survive in the female body, but there seems to be a general consensus of up to a day.

your sperm would be best at around 2 days old.

This means if your body effectively cleans itself (white blood cells and the like) then it would probably be best to have sex every other day. If your body isnt that effective, every day would probably be fine as the sperm can hang around for a bit. If you are really hot all the time (increase in temp with O) then they will die quicker... things like this can effect it so again another reason to wait and do it every other day.

The way i view it is that if you do it every other day you KNOW your sperm is old enough and strong enough. If you do it every day theres only a chance.

"saving up come" isnt the best thing to do. coming regularly cleans your tubes of dead sperm and build up.

thats all the stuff i can help with but you probably know it already. i would suggest skipping the day before 1st O day, and starting on O day to do it every day. that way you can try out the theory without endangering your chances when you want to TTC every day.

Im always available to chat to if you need help. (you might find sensitive subjects you dont want airing infront of the lit crowd... some tend to bash people down even when they are just asking for help)

 

[CuriousThroat2]

well i am a science nerd (i studied forensics and criminal psychology before having to give it up).

Cool!

soi do research too, but i generally made my own mind up over it using my own common sense... bare with me but heres what i have come up with so far.

There is debate as to how long sperm can survive in the female body, but there seems to be a general consensus of up to a day.

your sperm would be best at around 2 days old.

This means if your body effectively cleans itself (white blood cells and the like) then it would probably be best to have sex every other day. If your body isnt that effective, every day would probably be fine as the sperm can hang around for a bit. If you are really hot all the time (increase in temp with O) then they will die quicker... things like this can effect it so again another reason to wait and do it every other day.

The way i view it is that if you do it every other day you KNOW your sperm is old enough and strong enough. If you do it every day theres only a chance.

Good info. I'm 35, so I know I'm edging towards "might not be strong enough for every other day" under that scenario. We did do a couple months of pretty much every day. 20 nights in a row. Tiring, but fun. I'm going to suggest a repeat of that this coming cycle (there's still the barest of all possibilities she's pregnant right now-- won't know for a few more days). I certainly know I'm horny enough for it. =)

"saving up come" isnt the best thing to do. coming regularly cleans your tubes of dead sperm and build up.

Exactly.

Im always available to chat to if you need help. (you might find sensitive subjects you dont want airing infront of the lit crowd... some tend to bash people down even when they are just asking for help)

Thanks, I might take you up on that if I (or she) have any questions. So far there hasn't been anything I won't air-- aside from personally identifying information. After all, I'm talking about banging my wife to pregnancy on a site dedicated to talking about sex. What would be the point on getting shy with the details? lol

 

[FlyAwayFromHere]

i think its the more asking for help side of things where people should avoid actively trying to offend people but you still tend to get the odd troll that likes to make people feel uncomfortable.

I really hope you get what you want. it is so exciting being at the stage i am in as its new and uncharted territory... but i am scared of it going on for years and getting sick of it! also, twins run in both sides of my family, so thats terrifying!

 

[CuriousThroat2]

I really hope you get what you want. it is so exciting being at the stage i am in as its new and uncharted territory... but i am scared of it going on for years and getting sick of it! also, twins run in both sides of my family, so thats terrifying!

If twins are that common, just make sure you never got "for just one more". =)

Keep a positive mind. You're young, and the UK has some excellent-- if not jealously inducing-- public fertility support systems. (And that's coming from a Canadian).

And have fun doing it.

 

[FlyAwayFromHere]

yeah! at the moment im just relieved i ovulate. my mum had issues.

i think that i will see someone about it after a year of trying with no success (from this month, not september), thats what they reccommend here.

 

[CuriousThroat2]

yeah! at the moment im just relieved i ovulate. my mum had issues.

i think that i will see someone about it after a year of trying with no success (from this month, not september), thats what they reccommend here.

Yup, one year of full-on TTC seems to be the bare minimum. My wife's 33, so the specialist took us in at the 1 year mark. It was about 2 months worth of interviews and charting. The charts the specialist gave us were fricking ANCIENT, so my wife just printed out her Fertility Friend results. lol

Then a standard panel of bloodwork-- hormone levels, etc. I got my analysis done. At the end of the intro period, they sent her for ultrasounds to check out the size and shape of everything, look for blockages, endromitriosis (sp).

But it sounds like you're a long way off from all of that. Don't even think about worrying until, like, 6 months in. =) Congrats on the positive "O", it's amazing how good that line showing up makes you feel.

 

[FlyAwayFromHere]

defo a lot off my mind.

I have never met anyone who had a 100% smooth conception to birth experience... so i am planning for the worst on all occasions. i dont think i will relax until i have a child in my arms, at home.

 

[CuriousThroat2]

I have never met anyone who had a 100% smooth conception to birth experience... so i am planning for the worst on all occasions. i dont think i will relax until i have a child in my arms, at home.

I've heard of a few people. Mainly because they're either delusional or lying. =) Especially some guys I know who are "like yeah one day I just had sex and we had a baby"-- completely oblivious to all the times they had sex beforehand. Or they were never told about the OPKs because girl bits are icky and it hurts their masculinity to hear about them. =)

 

[CuriousThroat2]

Got the package last week, so we've been busy.

First, the wedge itself is great. Solid foam, good washable coating. I don't know if it's firmer than other pillows, but the firmness and angle are just right. And by just right I mean JUST RIGHT. We've never gotten that deep and fast that quick, and she's very much enjoying it.

Plus, as a bonus-- if she lays on it doggy style, it stretches out her back, and lets me massage her lower back at angles I could never get at before. There's always some very insidious knots that hide almost under her hips. Now-- massaged away!

The bonus items also arrived. First, they offered a freebe for orders over a certain amount. We're already well stocked on lube, and more vibes than we ever use-- so all what remained was a pair of velco-based cuffs. So I figured since I had to order one more item to get the free shipping plus discount-- silk bondage sashes.

Two 7' lengths, super soft. We briefly tried them once-- just a very very light bind on her wrists while we used the wedge doggy style. Right now we're into "mandatory fun days"-- but afterwards, we'll explore them a bit more. Neither of us are into the DSM part, but the B sounds exciting. =)

http://www.liberator.com/silk-binding-sash.html

http://www.liberator.com/media/catalog/product/cache/3/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/1/0/10353-featured1.jpg