Nearing 40 and sort of suddenly single.

Out of curiosity, how does one become sort of single. Is that like 10% single, 50% single, single in mind but a wedding ring on the finger? Inquiring minds want to know. :)
 
I think he (she?) meant that becoming single was sort of unexpected so seemed sudden...

Been there done that. Women tend to mourn the loss of a relationship while there ostensibly still in it so when they finally break lose they're just GO


Anyway it's a great how to topic if the question is how do I deal with finding myself suddenly single in middle age.

I think if you count from when I first knew that this was not looking good we're talking almost 4 years for me but it takes a full year to even consider getting out there..

It can be a lot of fun at middle aged once you have your legs back under you kind of tough though when they're taking out from under you with what seems like no warning.
 
Forty is middle aged? :eek: :eek: :eek: I guess that makes me a fossil!

Anyway, BleuRainGrey, you don't say if you are a boy or a girl. If you are a fella, I'd say you are in for a wild couple of years. Single women outnumber single men in the forties and fifties by quite a wide margin. Sow some wild oats! Then, after sampling the smorgasbord of flesh for awhile, pick your favorite and settle down again.

On the other hand, if you are a woman, well, best of luck. Your best course of action is probably to find the cougar bars in your town and prey on young studs eager to learn the ropes. Teach them well. Your daughters will thank you.
 
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The title really says it all.

If you are asking for advice, doesn't say anything at all....if you are going to post in the how to section, it would be great to post what you are asking advice about. This is like posting "I am sad", "I am hungry" or "I am a woman" here, and expecting others to comment on it.....I don't know, is there a fetish out there about wasting other people's time?
 
well, I'm lately now and having traveled this road way to many fucking times I have this advice... for male or female.

1. Secure a place to stay preferably your own living alone,now to do this you are going to need income.

2.Stay as calm as possible...you are going to be OK. Yes, it takes awhile to get adjusted to being alone and perhaps without the one you love. Life is not fair,you don't have to like you just have to deal with it.

3. Some friends and in-laws are probably going to treat you differently you are going to find out who cares about you and who doesn't.

4. while I do not recommend jumping head first into another serious relationship for at least six months to two years you certainly need to get out in the world, meet people and make more friends.

5. Number four is done often by taking up hobbies,dancing,bowling, fire arms sport clubs... hell Internet dating even.the point is unless it is on the computer you are not going to find some one to romance with in person at home alone.

6. Friends and relatives can be a help or not...be careful of blind dates!

And do a back ground check on them!

I'm sure other people will have things to add.
 
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When should you consider doing a background check on your dates, FGB? How do you do that, beyond the anecdotes of your friends?
 
When should you consider doing a background check on your dates, FGB? How do you do that, beyond the anecdotes of your friends?

Some place like this...now I'm not recommending THIS one you understand...

http://www.criminal-info.com/


I'm trying some out so far I'm not happy with any of them...yet.

I start out with someone I have known for a long time and compare their results to known facts.

I am not happy happy happy...Yet.
 
When should you consider doing a background check on your dates, FGB? How do you do that, beyond the anecdotes of your friends?

Past three dates for sure! or leaving them alone in the house or access to private information.
 
Well in that event- I would like to recommend "tradin' it all in for an island girl and a pirate flag."
 
To address the implied request for advice in the OPs post: have you tried online dating as a way to meet people? It's more effective than most people would think.

If you're looking for advice in other areas, it might be useful to specify.
 
I found out "how to" become single at 58, I just shared my wife and gave her too much freedom. I'm enjoying the drama free single life and found out there are some really young women that like older guys. I also have my first FWB (27yo). Hang in there you'll be fine!
 
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