And the Winner is Butters,

[bronzeage]

Congratulations to the girl in the straw hat.

Behind the Girl in the Straw Hat
by butters

High-noon
and a slow, single bead
paints a copper line
over low stepping stones,
like the memory of water
in a dry river-bed
framed by a muscular valley.

Gravity has its way
pulls eyes
thoughts
to the peeking cleft,
the rolling hills,
where moisture slides
out of sight
to the dark and secret cave.

 

[HarryHill]

Way to go chipper!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Superb very well done

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Congrats. x 12

Didn't you say somewhere that you couldn't write erotic poems? You dark horse, you.

 

[todski28]

Congratulations and thank you for entering this piece

 

[butters]

aw, thanks everyone!

love,

utterly butterly

 

[greenmountaineer]

Congratulations, Butters. Outstanding!

 

[bogusagain]

A worthy winner. I dismissed it at first but it grew on me until I had to admit, it really is a superb little poem.

 

[butters]

Congratulations, Butters. Outstanding!

i spotted yours from the off - the whole coney/rabbit thing gave it a very erotic twist. thankyou

A worthy winner. I dismissed it at first but it grew on me until I had to admit, it really is a superb little poem.

very kind of you to say so, bogus, but i had to give yours my own vote!

 

[bflagsst]

congrats. i knew yours and greenm's immediately.

 

[butters]

congrats. i knew yours and greenm's immediately.

cheers! the e-round's on me


edited to add this: originally, i worked with the title 'the intimacy of fluid'. but then the ambiguity of the hills and stuff, well it might have been about the girl's front rather than her back. to try and make sure the reader was looking from the pov of the narrator, i had to use 'behind the', and the straw hat was purely all about making sure it looked like a summer poem. the title i was using went into the body of the piece, but i had to junk it eventually. maybe just as well

 

[pinkcherry]

Way to go, Butters!

 

[Angeline]

I knew the minute I saw your poem, sweet (sometimes salty) butters, that it was a contender. Did you get my note?

Your poem is a great example of how a title can drive a poem because it does give point of view and in one two word-image supplies "summer" That is pretty friggin impressive.

 

[butters]

Way to go, Butters!

aw, thanks it was good to see so many new names taking part and voting!

I knew the minute I saw your poem, sweet (sometimes salty) butters, that it was a contender. Did you get my note?

Your poem is a great example of how a title can drive a poem because it does give point of view and in one two word-image supplies "summer" That is pretty friggin impressive.

ha, you had more faith in it than i did, then i did, and replied. has it not shown up in your inbox?

desperation's the mother of invention, right? lol

 

[Angeline]

aw, thanks it was good to see so many new names taking part and voting!


ha, you had more faith in it than i did, then i did, and replied. has it not shown up in your inbox?

desperation's the mother of invention, right? lol

I didn't but both the poem pages and the forum have been balky for me lately. I was basically telling you I had notified Laurel but maybe she didn't get that pm. Or she's on vacation...if neither of us hears from her in a few days I'll send another note to her.

 

[Tzara]

Congratulations, Ms. b., a deserving winner.

 

[KatieJones]

Congrats!!

 

[twelveoone]

you constantly amaze me
in so many ways
what i have to say about this would take pages and would be misconstrued, suffice it to say you hit the "sweet spot"

so you're the copper tone girl all growed up?

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

so you're the copper tone girl all growed up?

Nope, that'd be Jodie Foster. Butters' the better buttery girl.

 

[Neonurotic]

Congrats butters!

 

[butters]

I didn't but both the poem pages and the forum have been balky for me lately. I was basically telling you I had notified Laurel but maybe she didn't get that pm. Or she's on vacation...if neither of us hears from her in a few days I'll send another note to her.

s'okay, all sorted

Congratulations, Ms. b., a deserving winner.

aw, thanks

Congrats!!

thanks!

you constantly amaze me
in so many ways
what i have to say about this would take pages and would be misconstrued, suffice it to say you hit the "sweet spot"

so you're the copper tone girl all growed up?

can't say i'm used to amazing people.

the generic sweet spot....

all growed up, and over the hill i needed that line of copper, hoping others would see how the light was refracting through the trace of water, and used 'paints' for the wetness.

Nope, that'd be Jodie Foster. Butters' the better buttery girl.

Congrats butters!

thanks, it's appreciated.

 

[Desejo]

Well done Butters!

 

[butters]

Well done Butters!

thanks, Desejo your own was finger-lickin'. i'm a great fan of buttered ears of corn *nods*