timid sub-stepping out of line

[Kim_Burly]

hopefully he will accept it in the spirit that it is given in. Tell him you did it for him. Sir likes to put an unfortunately large plug in my butt and then make love to me. He says it makes my tight pussy incredibly tight, and it does. He can slip the head in easily enough, but then he really has to push to get all the way in. It works with the holes reversed, but not as well.

Sir is willing to try things I bring home, but if he doesn't like it, it goes away, forever. Kind of like the TENS debacle . It shouldn't be just him pushing your boundaries (see disclaimer below) you need to push to keep him in top shape as your Dom. Just because you are his sub does mean you have no responsibility to contribute to the vitality of your relationship. Have fun and keep us posted.

 

[Kim_Burly]

I really do try to not be a lazy sub--but my nature is a bit that way. We have been married for 20 years and together a few years before that. I do take the initiative to purchase things that are of the same line that he has sort of already approved-lingerie-toys-videos etc.

a few weeks ago I did the first really independent thing as far as our sex lives and made him a video on my phone-I then agonized for two days before I could send it. The response was def. positive-which has made me feel a bit brave I guess.

having found this forum is really great to me because I was hoping to find a few others like me who could bolster my confidence and give a few pointers about being a more active sub.

I'm not the one to give you advice, you'll end up getting caned, peed on and worse . But seriously, as subs shouldn't be seeking out ways to please our men? Ask him what he wants? What are his fantasies? Do a little reading and then slip a finger up his butt while you are blowing him and massage his prostate. Do you rim him? The list is endless.

What does he like and want? Figure that out and your man will be forever happy.

 

[desertslave]

I have fits of timidity myself, so I understand your dilemma.

You could just leave it on his pillow before bedtime and see what happens?

 

[graceanne]

I hear you, but I'm not sure how to handle it as I don't know if I'd ever work up the courage to buy a toy without his input. lol He probably wouldn't mind - makes no difference, I'll never do it.

 

[Primalex]

You could just leave it on his pillow before bedtime and see what happens?

It's usually a very bad idea to let someone guess what is going on.

You know the joke about the guy who wants to borrow the lawn-mower from his neighbor? On the way he imagines what he will say if the neighbor doesn't want to borrow it. And when the neighbor finally opens the door, he yells:"I don't want your fucking lawn-mower anyway".

The 'What is going on?' thought is one of the most devastating in a relationship, because even if you tell the truth, chances are that your partner is finally so caught up in her/his thoughts already that (s)he thinks it's more likely that you lie than that (s)he just made everything up.

 

[dangersexqueen]

I would have just wrapped it up in a box and gift wrapped it and put a note on it that said "For Our Pleasure, I cannot wait for you to use this on me" .. I might have even put it in two gift boxes and wrapped both of them.. Just because nested boxes are funny and because it will build up the anticipation.. I would have even gift wrapped the lube with it..

 

[hikingman37]

well I decided to just come out with it. I told him that when I ordered lube-which we needed anyway I also threw in a new toy.
I got a raised eyebrow and a smile so I figure it will be fine. I kept it playful and told him I would model it for him when it came in-so at least thats off my shoulders.
I felt a bit relieved and silly for worrying at the same time. Of course he still doesn't know exactly what I bought-but I venture to say he will guess-he seems to have the ability to read my mind sometimes.

You should be fine. I am sure he will smile and ask if your hinting that you need more attention in that area. Maybee he will have you keep it in for a couple of days. Or suggest you order some larger sizes. your on a slippery slope to a ball gag. Sounds like great fun.

 

[Riles]

If you can't say it, write it.

I get all flustered and blushy at times when it comes to 'talking' - generally it's easier for me to type out my idea first and then follow up in conversation once my nerves have settled and I know we are both good on the idea.

 

[hikingman37]

he's usually fine with gagging me with whatever article of clothing he's managed to get off first.

Hope he leaves his socks on for last