Kiss My Ass Lit Readers

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I recently tested a theory I have about LIT readers, and they confirmed my theory with glorious story scores.

What they want is PRETTY WOMAN.


I gave them their Pretty Woman and they love it. I oughta get an H in about 5 minutes.

I feel ill.


PLOT: Really smart coed works as a lap dancer to pay for college and her old dad's gender re-assignment surgery, and connects with a perfesser who's having a personal identity crisis with his life partner Bradley. Tim, the perfesser, suspects he may be bi instead of gay, until Daphne takes him to bed and helps him find himself. Timmy is so grateful he takes Daphne under his wing and makes her PhD in Gay Studies certain!

 

[PayDay]

You are on a roll this month

A+

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Don't sell them short. They also want Twilight.

 

[sr71plt]

It would be sorta fun to see you completely sell out, JBJ, and start giving Lit. readers what they wanted in order to get good ratings.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It would be sorta fun to see you completely sell out, JBJ, and start giving Lit. readers what they wanted in order to get good ratings.

Right? Fluffy bunnies and Cinderella endings... Jimmy style!

He'd be the angriest successful writer. In fact, there's a plot bunny, right there...

 

[slyc_willie]

Right? Fluffy bunnies and Cinderella endings... Jimmy style!

He'd be the angriest successful writer. In fact, there's a plot bunny, right there...

There is indeed.

Maybe you just need to get it out of your system, Jim. Then you can go back to actual writing.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'll play the old dad who wants Sis to be an MD or Vet or Dentist, not a lap dancer, and all the readers can hiss and boo me.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My next story features a character I call Stella O'Mega, an Irish lass with an obsession for snakes.

 

[lovecraft68]

I was once told by another incest author that most incest stories here were like little kids chasing fuxzy bunnies in a field

But my swb series was like a rabid wolf pack bringing down a moose and rippong its guts out and eating it alive

One of the best compliments I have gotten here

 

[Stella_Omega]

I was once told by another incest author that most incest stories here were like little kids chasing fuxzy bunnies in a field

But my swb series was like a rabid wolf pack bringing down a moose and rippong its guts out and eating it alive

One of the best compliments I have gotten here

That is a good compliment, for sure!

 

[TxRad]

Let's see what we have here. We have an erotic story site that most people come to for a good wank.

Well, yeah, lots of sex and happy endings would probably work best. Duh!

 

[PayDay]

That is a good compliment, for sure!

Vouch'd

 

[Ironiclaconic]

Cinderella is a fantasy for a lot of female readers. Men have equivalents, such as rescuing some sexually grateful beautiful woman. Erotica has a substantial fantasy component so you shouldn't be surprised when readers like it when you cater to their fantasies. It really isn't any different them hitting the marks on readers fantasies for a particular threesome variant.

If you wrote a story you didn't respect, that's on you, not the readers.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There's more dignity in pissing off LW readers.

 

[PayDay]

There's more dignity in pissing off LW readers.

Not to mention it is far more enjoyable. I think the funniest part of what you are doing is that readers are getting a kick out of being made fun of.

It's kind of mean in a Pavlov sort of way.

As an extra, you might get lucky and wake a few up.

 

[JackLuis]

Nothing wrong with pretty women, JB.

Not all women are beautiful to all men. But most women like to think that they are attractive, maybe cute, maybe striking, maybe soft and fuzzy, but attractive to a mate of their dreams.

A 250 lb. five by five, believes if she just had a magic slipper she could be an Angela Jolie, rich besot by hunky men, rich beyond her ability to consume and thin enough to fit into that dress she saw on the internet.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Nothing wrong with pretty women, JB.

Not all women are beautiful to all men. But most women like to think that they are attractive, maybe cute, maybe striking, maybe soft and fuzzy, but attractive to a mate of their dreams.

A 250 lb. five by five, believes if she just had a magic slipper she could be an Angela Jolie, rich besot by hunky men, rich beyond her ability to consume and thin enough to fit into that dress she saw on the internet.

The average female believes that the key to men is 1.keep their bellies full, and 2.keep their balls empty. They all believe that a man is a multipurpose resource for money, shelter, security, food, clothing...cock they can get anywhere, ditto babies.

 

[sr71plt]

I get the vision of posters to this thread sitting around and scratching their balls and spitting out into the grass to see you can get the most distance.

 

[PayDay]

The average female believes that the key to men is 1.keep their bellies full, and 2.keep their balls empty. They all believe that a man is a multipurpose resource for money, shelter, security, food, clothing...cock they can get anywhere, ditto babies.

That's the most prophetic thing I've seen all day.

 

[sr71plt]

Probably the most prophylactic one too.

 

[brazenblair19]

Sorry to hear that. I'm a young reader, 22, and that is not the kind of story I want to read at all. It kind of inspires me to write some stories now. Plenty in my head, and, mostly autobiographical. None have a happy ending....

 

[lovecraft68]

The average female believes that the key to men is 1.keep their bellies full, and 2.keep their balls empty. They all believe that a man is a multipurpose resource for money, shelter, security, food, clothing...cock they can get anywhere, ditto babies.

Well then, talk about pissing off people, I'd enjoy seeing you spout that wisdom to some of the women I know.

On the other hand are you available for personal appearances? Although I have done the best I could to teach my daughters what kind of guys to avoid, an in person demonstration would be awesome!

But seriously as for the topic at hand, you should know better James, erotica is fantasy and people want happy to get away from the stress and misery of life or to read about the fun dirty things they don't get to do.

Porn, despite what republicans and bible thumpers (the two lowest forms of life on earth) think, porn is a good healthy fantasy release.

The only categories darker stuff may play is EH of course, but non con and sometimes LW everyone else is looking for escapism.

Interesting to see this get to you though.

Your armor of not giving a fuck is showing some chinks now that you've jumped into the writing pool here.

Tell you what I tell everyone, write for you and enjoy.

 

[lovecraft68]

Sorry to hear that. I'm a young reader, 22, and that is not the kind of story I want to read at all. It kind of inspires me to write some stories now. Plenty in my head, and, mostly autobiographical. None have a happy ending....

Welcome to the AH and bring them on!

Personally I enjoy me some misery, it grounds me and makes me remember where I've been and appreciate where I am now.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Well then, talk about pissing off people, I'd enjoy seeing you spout that wisdom to some of the women I know.

On the other hand are you available for personal appearances? Although I have done the best I could to teach my daughters what kind of guys to avoid, an in person demonstration would be awesome!

But seriously as for the topic at hand, you should know better James, erotica is fantasy and people want happy to get away from the stress and misery of life or to read about the fun dirty things they don't get to do.

Porn, despite what republicans and bible thumpers (the two lowest forms of life on earth) think, porn is a good healthy fantasy release.

The only categories darker stuff may play is EH of course, but non con and sometimes LW everyone else is looking for escapism.

Interesting to see this get to you though.

Your armor of not giving a fuck is showing some chinks now that you've jumped into the writing pool here.

Tell you what I tell everyone, write for you and enjoy.

I've been pissing people off since Christ was a corporal, I'm too old to change my ways. But it always stuns me at what pisses people off, its never what you expect.

There are lower life forms than Christians and the GOP. Foster parents come to mind, and plenty of close relatives.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've been pissing people off since Christ was a corporal, I'm too old to change my ways. But it always stuns me at what pisses people off, its never what you expect.

There are lower life forms than Christians and the GOP. Foster parents come to mind, and plenty of close relatives.

Hmmm see I had the opposite experience. My real parents were pieces of garbage and to this day over 30 years since they took me in I'm proud to call my foster parents mom and dad as well as my sister.

As corny as it sounds one of the best lines of all time comes from keanu Reeves in Parenthood.

"You need a license to drive a car, hell you need one to catch a fish, but they'll let any butt reaming asshole become a parent."