Quick and dirty.... I can't do it.

[lovecraft68]

I can't help you. My first story here was meant to be a one-shot brief encounter. It turned into a 14-part romance novel

Been there done that. I pictured my SWB series to be maybe 12 chapters. It went 39 with a 5 part spin off and a 5 part sequel.

 

[sr71plt]

For the record, in my scenario the prostitute bites the cops cock off and shoves it down his throat so he chokes to death on it. Then pulls it out and mails it to his wife so she knows what a piece of shit she married.

I'm not surprised--you have anger and violence issues. I write stories to get off, not get even.

 

[jomar]

Cut out everything that doesn't drive the action forward. Back story is fine, but in your exercise it is padding.

You can add a sentence or three that hints at the back story and such. Trust your audience.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm not surprised--you have anger and violence issues. I write stories to get off, not get even.

What can I say, I spent years writing horror/revenge stories, old habits die hard.

And one can do both. Sex and violence are a great mix when handled right, the adrenalin rush from violence can lead to some damn hot sex.

I'm sure you've used that device in some of your work.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"Sarabande" was a oneshot, the limo scene. And then i wanted to do it again... And again... and some more...

And then I ran out of device, pretty much. You can only escalate sexual dares for just so long without putting someone in the hospital.

 

[lovecraft68]

"Sarabande" was a oneshot, the limo scene. And then i wanted to do it again... And again... and some more...

And then I ran out of device, pretty much. You can only escalate sexual dares for just so long without putting someone in the hospital.

I have an aunt who has worked in the emergency room at RI Hospital for 35 years.

Oh, the stories......

 

[D_Lynn]

I don't know if this will help, but this is how I'd approach it...

I'd pick no more than two characters that will be central to the story. You can write a group sex scene if you want, but the other characters don't matter. Write down every last detail about the character(s) that you've decided to write about. Every. Thing. Where they work, went to school, personality quirks, behavioral ticks, mannerisms, physical appearance...you get the idea.

Then, don't think of the whole story, just start writing a scene. Assume that the audience knows everything that you know about the character(s). Everything you wrote down is already communicated. Now, when you start typing, you don't have to explain how someone is acting. If you feel it might not be clear, reference the historical event in that character's life that led to their current behavior as if the audience already knows about it.

You might also try using inner dialogue to portray what is going on. This is faster and more concise than explanations. Mainly because we don't silently recount our past experiences like we have to explain them to someone else.

Use spoken dialogue. Describe inner turmoil through physiological responses, rather than through explanations. Use foreshadowing to build tension.

And for your reader's sake, stop reading manuals on how to be a good writer. Focus on the story, not on the writing. You're a natural storyteller, don't mess it up by trying to write like someone else.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't know if this will help, but this is how I'd approach it...

I'd pick no more than two characters that will be central to the story. You can write a group sex scene if you want, but the other characters don't matter. Write down every last detail about the character(s) that you've decided to write about. Every. Thing. Where they work, went to school, personality quirks, behavioral ticks, mannerisms, physical appearance...you get the idea.

Then, don't think of the whole story, just start writing a scene. Assume that the audience knows everything that you know about the character(s). Everything you wrote down is already communicated. Now, when you start typing, you don't have to explain how someone is acting. If you feel it might not be clear, reference the historical event in that character's life that led to their current behavior as if the audience already knows about it.

You might also try using inner dialogue to portray what is going on. This is faster and more concise than explanations. Mainly because we don't silently recount our past experiences like we have to explain them to someone else.

Use spoken dialogue. Describe inner turmoil through physiological responses, rather than through explanations. Use foreshadowing to build tension.

And for your reader's sake, stop reading manuals on how to be a good writer. Focus on the story, not on the writing. You're a natural storyteller, don't mess it up by trying to write like someone else.

Some good points. Assuming the audience knows the character could be a help.

The two people thing is what I am going for, three or more would complicate things.

And I have never read any manual on writing (this is where smart ass people, say "No shit!") Most of what I have picked up is from the people here on threads like these.

I've also started thinking about approaching it the way I would a hot "cyber session" where all that's involved is the act itself and not much else.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Some good points. Assuming the audience knows the character could be a help.

The two people thing is what I am going for, three or more would complicate things.

And I have never read any manual on writing (this is where smart ass people, say "No shit!") Most of what I have picked up is from the people here on threads like these.

I've also started thinking about approaching it the way I would a hot "cyber session" where all that's involved is the act itself and not much else.

sr would approve. Like Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus, he seems suddenly converted (after all his vitriol before) to flash/stroke vignettes. Personally, I like an erotic story.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I don't think my sex scenes are that hot.

But it's not the sex that turns some people on, it's the characters and the dynamic between them.

And for that, I need to bloat my stories out.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So like how much do you know about the folks in porn movies? Or what about the couple fucking in the hardware aisle at WALMART, 3 oclock in the morning?

 

[sr71plt]

OK, here's an example of what I think can be done in a "quick and dirty." 1,000 text words on the button, 200 to set up, 700 hundred to "dirty," and 100 to resolution/ twist ending. I think it covers the bases for a story. Plot (they both want it; they both have to pretend something else is going on; they both wind up satisfied, with "face" saved, but being exactly where they started); charactization (I think you can pull loads out of here on who each of them is and the dynamic between them); setting (both the gritty alley and the trapping extistence of each established, I think); and theme (it's going to take more than fooling yourself to either getting out of the rut you're in or acknowledging it's not a rut and celebrating it).

Who’s Fooling Who?

“Whoa, there, Snookie, honey, you bein’ naughty again?”

Standing at the alley’s mouth, smoothing down her miniskirt, watching the tailend of whoever the john had been flit around the corner, and painting on a startled expression, she looked into the baby blues of the hulky blond cop.

“Didn’t see you there, Officer Jenkins.”

“Should have, sweetheart. Was standin’ right there shooting off photos.” Towering over her in his bodybuilder bulk, he waved his camera in her face. “Got it all on film, money exchange and all. Gotta take you in, girl. How many times I tell you this ain’t no life, that you gotta give it up?”

“Come on, Jenks, you don’t gotta bust me. We’ll work somethin’ out.” Then, tossing her curls and setting her dangly loop earrings to clicking, hands gripped hips and she almost spat, “How I gonna get anywhere without money? You come bustin’ up my bizness, how I gonna scrounge ‘get outta town’ money?”

Chagrinned look plastered. “Sorry ’bout that, sugar. You need get outta the life money, I can help you. I wanna help, and takin’ you in is a time waster.” A contemplation pause, then, “Same discount as usual?”

On her knees behind a dumpster in the dim grittiness of the shadows, blouse open, she unhooked her bra at the front while Jenkins unbuttoned his shirt, trousers and briefs already bunched around his ankles. Sensuous brown fingers, coming to elongated points at luminous purple nails delicately encircled an uncut white cock already thicker and longer than anything Snookie had had that week. He gasped, leaned shoulders into the cinderblock wall, and thrust his hips forward as ruby-red lips pushed back the foreskin and slathered the blub waxy scarlet.

“Now see, this is what you need to stop doin’ for a man,” he muttered. “You won’t never be able to get a new life if you keep givin’ head this good.” He groaned as nails clicked against nails and she squeezed his balls, the smear of her lip gloss spreading up his shaft. She humming, he groaning. Tonguing back down the throbbing cock and then, as he grunted, back up, taking more of him in, applying pressure on cock and balls.

“Oh, sweet jesuuz,” he groaned. Running his hands into the mop of puffy, black curls, he gripped her skull and began moving his hips, stroking as she widened her jaw and let him do his thing.

But only for a few minutes. Laughing, she pulled off and leaned back, bunching her breasts between her hands, staring up into his face coyly, provocatively.

“Pride and Glory are lonely. They want to play too.” She rose on her knees, capturing the cock in the crevice of her breasts, and started giving it a good time.

“Fuck, girl. Ya gotta stop crap like this,” Jenkins growled. “Won’t never get off your knees that way. Listen to what I’m tellin’ you, girl.”

She leaned into his hard-bodied torso, applying her lips to the dragon tattoo peeking out from around his back and nosing at his flat, heaving belly. He grabbed her head again, holding her to him, and groaned his pleasure.

Leaving her substantial tits to do their thing, Snookie freed a hand to slip into a skirt pocket and dig for just the right one. A Golden Ticket Magnum for Jenks. She already knew that.

Jenkins recognized the signals: The snap of condom she’d rolled on, her little laugh, and her throaty whisper of “Showtime.”

On the move now, he took charge. Standing off from the wall, he turned her. Laughing low in her throat, Snookie pressed the palms of her hands flat against the wall beside her head, her cheek hugging the cool, moist, moss-smell of the wall, jutted her bulbous buttocks out, and just let him do it.

Hovering over her, he started slow, one hand kneading breasts, punishing nipples. The other snaked around her waist, searching her folds, and finding and worrying her clit, as she made the noises she knew would egg him on. His sheathed cock rubbed up and down the small of her back under her loose blouse. Her sighing and moaning; him making rumbling noises deep in his throat.

“Put it to bed, honey,” she whimpered. “Fuck me good. Be good to me, Daddy.”

She cried out in ecstasy as the bulb penetrated, sank in. She panted hard and droned the mantra,” Oh, baby, baby, baby,” as he slid up into her and began to pump, slow at first and then faster. All words ceased, to be replaced by grunts and moans as both concentrated wholly on what they were dong to each other at the center.

She felt him trembling, shuddering, knowing he was lost to anything but the fuck, until he abruptly pulled out of her cunt, entwined her waist with a beefy arm, and lifted her feet off the ground, rolling her buttocks up further in the curve of his crotch.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Yessss!” she cried out, writhing and ineffectually pushing at him, as he pulled her away from the wall and her head, arms, earrings dangled down toward the muck of the alley floor. He slithered in and pumped her hard and deep in the ass. Fireworks, frenzy, the alley evaporating into one long, shared explosion.

At the head of the alley, “Now you remember, Snookie, girl. You’ll use yourself up fast if you don’t get out of this and move on. I’m helpin’ you, tellin’ you for your own good. And you need money, I got money. We’ll talk about that later.”

Watching him strut off to his car, equipment clinking at his waist in the same tune that he often fucked her. Who was he fooling about her getting a new life and him bankrolling it? She’d just given him “the usual discount” and had nothing green to fold afterward. But then, who was she fooling herself? she thought, with a chuckle. She knew he would be patroling this beat today.

 

[JackLuis]

Bravo Pilot. Nicely done. I'll bet Jimmy will be envious.
Very Hemingway, without the angst.

 

[carlieplum]

Different readers want different things. What a boring world if we bought into the idea that there was one right way to right. We'd have to pick Hemingway or Faulkner, but not both.

Good luck solving your problem LC, but it's only a problem if it's bothering you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Bravo Pilot. Nicely done. I'll bet Jimmy will be envious.
Very Hemingway, without the angst.

PILOT exhausted my fund of willful suffering long ago; if he invented immortality I wouldn't be interested. Ditto STELLA.

 

[JackLuis]

I've been checking out Smash Words selection of erotica and see a lot of 1K-2K stories for from $.99 to $2.99 and 40k's for the same prices.

I'll better the payback per word is better for short works. So quick and dirty may make more money.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I've been checking out Smash Words selection of erotica and see a lot of 1K-2K stories for from $.99 to $2.99 and 40k's for the same prices.

I'll better the payback per word is better for short works. So quick and dirty may make more money.

Mark Twain said pretty much the same thing. If youre paid by the story, write shorter stories; if youre paid by the word, use shorter words.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've been checking out Smash Words selection of erotica and see a lot of 1K-2K stories for from $.99 to $2.99 and 40k's for the same prices.

I'll better the payback per word is better for short works. So quick and dirty may make more money.

There is a ton of 3-4k stuff on amazon for $2.99 as well as up to over 100k for the same price. That's because of amazon's price fixing where if your book is not $2.99-9.99 you only get 35% royalty(and they pocket 65% cute no?) so people put $2.99 on most of their work.

ON SW you get 85% no matter what so .99 over there isn't bad especially if you have a lot of work and are looking to gain a following..

I was thinking quick and dirty to put together an anthology. I don;t do it now because my work average's 15-17k which is a pretty fair sized book for $2.99 and I don't feel like packaging them, I feel they are big enough to sell on their own.

But a dozen or more 2-4k works would make a nice collection.

 

[oggbashan]

50 words make you think shorter

I know I'm supposed to be the AH's 50-word story expert, but it is a useful tool for thinking about what is absolutely essential in a short story.

You might find that you can't get to be as short as fifty words, but if you practise writing in as few words as possible you might be able to tell a complete story in the Literotica minimum of 750 words.

It isn't a great idea to write a long story and then cut, edit or précis down to a shorter story. The story should be planned to be short from the start.

Writing very short stories isn't necessarily quick. I might be able to write a complete 3,000 word story in the time it takes me to write 15 fifty-word stories.

Like most writing techniques, practice makes perfect (or at least better).

I'll plug my How-Tos:

http://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-plot-flash-fiction

http://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-write-a-fifty-word-story

 

[lovecraft68]

OK, here's an example of what I think can be done in a "quick and dirty." 1,000 text words on the button, 200 to set up, 700 hundred to "dirty," and 100 to resolution/ twist ending. I think it covers the bases for a story. Plot (they both want it; they both have to pretend something else is going on; they both wind up satisfied, with "face" saved, but being exactly where they started); charactization (I think you can pull loads out of here on who each of them is and the dynamic between them); setting (both the gritty alley and the trapping extistence of each established, I think); and theme (it's going to take more than fooling yourself to either getting out of the rut you're in or acknowledging it's not a rut and celebrating it).

Who’s Fooling Who?Standing at the alley’s mouth, smoothing down her miniskirt, watching the tailend of whoever the john had been flit around the corner, and painting on a startled expression, she looked into the baby blues of the hulky blond cop.

First off thank you for the example.

Second you're breaking forum rules posting piece of a story(or a complete story) don't make me get PL over here on you! Just kidding. Laurel doesn't care about the rules so why should we?

As to the piece itself. Good job on length. Looking at it and envisioning how I would do it, I think I would add too much dialogue which, I think is my downfall when it comes to length.

Now for me, and this is opinion and we all know they vary, I don;t see that as a story, but a scene within a longer piece, but that's me and I guess that is what quick and dirty is we don;t need the lead in or backlash of the encounter.

One critique and something I was "broken" of by a woman who has had some professional editing experience and looked over some of my early work.

You use to many gerunds. In the opening I quoted she is doing way to many "ing" things. She's standing, smoothing, painting.....

Unless of course that's style and one of those yeah you shouldn't but who cares deals.

Thanks again.

 

[sr71plt]

First off thank you for the example.

Second you're breaking forum rules posting piece of a story(or a complete story) don't make me get PL over here on you! Just kidding. Laurel doesn't care about the rules so why should we?

As to the piece itself. Good job on length. Looking at it and envisioning how I would do it, I think I would add too much dialogue which, I think is my downfall when it comes to length.

Now for me, and this is opinion and we all know they vary, I don;t see that as a story, but a scene within a longer piece, but that's me and I guess that is what quick and dirty is we don;t need the lead in or backlash of the encounter.

One critique and something I was "broken" of by a woman who has had some professional editing experience and looked over some of my early work.

You use to many gerunds. In the opening I quoted she is doing way to many "ing" things. She's standing, smoothing, painting.....

Unless of course that's style and one of those yeah you shouldn't but who cares deals.

Thanks again.

The story was submitted to the story file before being posted here, and you're just being a jerk on this point.

And I don't think you understanding what constitutes a story. I laid it out in the post. You seem to think only in terms of flabby epics.

I'll file your "knowledgeable" critique where it belongs. Perhaps you should take some creative writing classes. Back to the OP, I can't perfectly understand why you can't write succinct prose.

 

[lovecraft68]

The story was submitted to the story file before being posted here, and you're just being a jerk on this point.

And I don't think you understanding what constitutes a story. I laid it out in the post. You seem to think only in terms of flabby epics.

I'll file your "knowledgeable" critique where it belongs. Perhaps you should take some creative writing classes.

I'm being a jerk?

Funny how you skipped over me saying "thank you" twice and adding "Good job"

also "just kidding" on the rule.

You hear what you want to hear don't you?

Guess I hit a nerve with the gerund remark. Some people just can't take constructive criticism.

 

[lovecraft68]

I know I'm supposed to be the AH's 50-word story expert, but it is a useful tool for thinking about what is absolutely essential in a short story.

You might find that you can't get to be as short as fifty words, but if you practise writing in as few words as possible you might be able to tell a complete story in the Literotica minimum of 750 words.

It isn't a great idea to write a long story and then cut, edit or précis down to a shorter story. The story should be planned to be short from the start.

Writing very short stories isn't necessarily quick. I might be able to write a complete 3,000 word story in the time it takes me to write 15 fifty-word stories.

Like most writing techniques, practice makes perfect (or at least better).

I'll plug my How-Tos:

http://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-plot-flash-fiction

http://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-write-a-fifty-word-story

Thanks I faved them and will check them out later tonight.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm being a jerk?

Funny how you skipped over me saying "thank you" twice and adding "Good job"

also "just kidding" on the rule.

You hear what you want to hear don't you?

Guess I hit a nerve with the gerund remark. Some people just can't take constructive criticism.

The gerund comment would be relevant if this were the New Yorker. Gerunds help maximize content and minimize words. If it wasn't a stroker, I could easily have gotten rid of lots of gerunds--but would have had to cut five sex acts down to about two. The assignment was quick and dirty.

Your thank yous are just to cover snottiness at seeing that I, who you frequently have slammed as a bad writer on these forums, could do what you can't.

Again, you seem to be clueless about what constitutes a story and have a knee-jerk reaction that anything shorter than 50,000 words couldn't possibly really be a story. Good writers can do it in six words.

 

[Saxon_Hart]

While editing a recent story, my editor threw me an idea for a story. I figured I could make a flash story out of it and spent three days writing. I was reading throught it about to send it for edit and thought "this isn't me." None of the characters had any depth or motivation so I deleted all but the title and started anew.