The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[stickygirl]

and go 'round and 'round and 'round.

I put in a neon carousel...

but you're carried away by a helium balloon

I put in a nobel prize

*waves*

 

[Handley_Page]

but you're carried away by a helium balloon

I put in a nobel prize

*waves*

for an ignoble cause



I put in a Leonardo cartoon

*waves back*

 

[stickygirl]

for an ignoble cause



I put in a Leonardo cartoon

*waves back*

but Her Majesty is not amused

I put in a Papal conclave

 

[Handley_Page]

but Her Majesty is not amused

I put in a Papal conclave

but the smoke drives them all out



I put in a new joystick

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the smoke drives them all out



I put in a new joystick

and Joy is joyous!

I put in a light opera...

 

[stickygirl]

and Joy is joyous!

I put in a light opera...

But you can't hear it over the Firefoxes

I put in a flintlock musket

 

[Tio_Narratore]

But you can't hear it over the Firefoxes

I put in a flintlock musket

and you get a flash in the pan.

I put in an electronic flash...

<waves> Hi Jane!

 

[stickygirl]

and you get a flash in the pan.

I put in an electronic flash...

<waves> Hi Jane!

but you're still on the road to Damascus

I put in a burning bush

*waves back*

 

[Saxon_Hart]

but you're still on the road to Damascus

I put in a burning bush

*waves back*

And Snoop Dogg tokes for days.


I put in Three Dog Night.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And Snoop Dogg tokes for days.


I put in Three Dog Night.

and they get let out.

I put in Deputy Dawg...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and they get let out.

I put in Deputy Dawg...

But El Kabong and Boba Looey confuse him and he arrestsa Pixie and Dixie.


I put in Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

 

[Handley_Page]

But El Kabong and Boba Looey confuse him and he arrestsa Pixie and Dixie.


I put in Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

who's looking for his violin



I put in a new Bow

 

[Tio_Narratore]

But El Kabong and Boba Looey confuse him and he arrestsa Pixie and Dixie.


I put in Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

and you get Ursula Andress.

I put in the Pink Panther...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

who's looking for his violin



I put in a new Bow

and you get Ursula Andress.

I put in the Pink Panther...

And I play Ursula like a cello with the bow, and the panther watches, while offering insulating advice.


I put in Gregory Peck.

 

[Handley_Page]

And I play Ursula like a cello with the bow, and the panther watches, while offering insulating advice.


I put in Gregory Peck.

but 1 Peck is 9.098 litres, and the back splits



I put in 1 bushel

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but 1 Peck is 9.098 litres, and the back splits



I put in 1 bushel

with a bushel and a Peck, you get a hug around the neck.

I put in a date with Maj...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

with a bushel and a Peck, you get a hug around the neck.

I put in a date with Maj...

Oh damn. How do I top that?


I put in a swizzle stick.

 

[Handley_Page]

Oh damn. How do I top that?

I put in a swizzle stick.

but it goes "swoosh", not swizzle.



I put in a call to the Dietician.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but it goes "swoosh", not swizzle.



I put in a call to the Dietician.

and you start on your filet mignon and Dom Perignon regime immediately.

I put in some mental health food...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you start on your filet mignon and Dom Perignon regime immediately.

I put in some mental health food...

but anything green in mental



I put in a photo of the Goons saying it

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but anything green in mental



I put in a photo of the Goons saying it

and you hear "it" repeated a thousand times.

I put in a word worth a thousand pictures...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and you hear "it" repeated a thousand times.

I put in a word worth a thousand pictures...

And you get fifty cents for it.


I put in a wing and a prayer.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get fifty cents for it.


I put in a wing and a prayer.

But Science does not always follow Faith.



I put in a sick jet engine

 

[Noor]

But Science does not always follow Faith.



I put in a sick jet engine

and your get the remains of a flock of geese

I put in fish eyes and glue

 

[Handley_Page]

and your get the remains of a flock of geese

I put in fish eyes and glue

But the resulting hand-made bookcase is out of kilter.



I put in a 45 line Gutenberg Bible