The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

And it vanishes at high speed down the road




I put in a long & winding road

and you never get where you're going.

I put in a TA truck stop...

 

[slyc_willie]

and you never get where you're going.

I put in a TA truck stop...

And you get a truck stop with a bunch of tits and ass.

I put in a streetwalker . . . .

 

[Handley_Page]

and you never get where you're going.

I put in a TA truck stop...

But they are closed



I put in a the whole regiment of "3rd Foot & Mouth"

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a truck stop with a bunch of tits and ass.

I put in a streetwalker . . . .

But they are closed



I put in a the whole regiment of "3rd Foot & Mouth"

and you get a very busy lady of the night.

I put in Flora Macdonald, "the finest woman ever to walk the streets of Kingston..."

 

[slyc_willie]

and you get a very busy lady of the night.

I put in Flora Macdonald, "the finest woman ever to walk the streets of Kingston..."

And you get the finest salad McDonald's could ever produce.

I put in an original copy of "Safety Dance" . . . .

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get the finest salad McDonald's could ever produce.

I put in an original copy of "Safety Dance" . . . .

and a burly doorman throws you into the street.

I put in a visit from the Surete du Quebec...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and a burly doorman throws you into the street.

I put in a visit from the Surete du Quebec...

But Inspector Clouseau (that's Chief Inspector) is attacked by Cato and your gramma's vase gets broken.....too bad she's in it.


I put in a Dust Buster.

 

[steve44uk]

But Inspector Clouseau (that's Chief Inspector) is attacked by Cato and your gramma's vase gets broken.....too bad she's in it.


I put in a Dust Buster.

... and Buffy dusts your ass, Buster.

I put in the Key...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

... and Buffy dusts your ass, Buster.

I put in the Key...

But someone has super glued the lock.


I put in Skid Row.

 

[Handley_Page]

But someone has super glued the lock.


I put in Skid Row.

but there's too much snow on it



I put in a pair of roller skates.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but there's too much snow on it



I put in a pair of roller skates.

and you get elbowed by a pack of girls skating by.

I put in a night at the Roller Derby...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get elbowed by a pack of girls skating by.

I put in a night at the Roller Derby...

And, you get the circle of life for many not-so-hot babes.

I put in a badminton racket.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, you get the circle of life for many not-so-hot babes.

I put in a badminton racket.

Broken up by the Police after a tip-off.



I put in a Lacrosse stick

 

[Saxon_Hart]

Broken up by the Police after a tip-off.



I put in a Lacrosse stick

And George Carlin (rest in peace GC) says that it is for a faggot college activity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VLmEMFq8F8

I put in a baseball bat.

 

[NekoParks]

And George Carlin (rest in peace GC) says that it is for a faggot college activity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VLmEMFq8F8

I put in a baseball bat.

And the Rangers obliterate the Astros tonight in Houston.

Historically Rangers win their opener and Astros usually lose theirs.

I put in a Dallas Stars hockey puck...

 

[steve44uk]

but the Rangers still don't win the World Series...

I put in ping pong ball...

... but there are far too may jokes...

I put in a Monopoly Millionaire game...

 

[NekoParks]

... but there are far too may jokes...

I put in a Monopoly Millionaire game...

but I never get to be the shoe...

I put in a midnight train going nowhere...

 

[slyc_willie]

but I never get to be the shoe...

I put in a midnight train going nowhere...

And you end up singing "Crazy Train" in a minivan commercial.

I put in a Black Sabbath album signed by Ozzy . . . .

 

[Handley_Page]

And you end up singing "Crazy Train" in a minivan commercial.

I put in a Black Sabbath album signed by Ozzy . . . .

It's a cheap korean fraud.



I put in a cup of cold cocoa

 

[Saxon_Hart]

It's a cheap korean fraud.



I put in a cup of cold cocoa

And Sonny the cuckoo bitch slaps the cook and demands to know where the puffs are.


I put in Tony the Tiger.

 

[Handley_Page]

And Sonny the cuckoo bitch slaps the cook and demands to know where the puffs are.


I put in Tony the Tiger.

but he's eaten all the flakes!



I put in a 3D printer

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but he's eaten all the flakes!



I put in a 3D printer

and you get an origami paper jam.

I put in an unfolded hypercube...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and you get an origami paper jam.

I put in an unfolded hypercube...

and you get an unkempt ADHD kid.


I put in a box kite.

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get an unkempt ADHD kid.

I put in a box kite.

and the wind drops to nothing.


I put in a Decatron.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the wind drops to nothing.


I put in a Decatron.

and go 'round and 'round and 'round.

I put in a neon carousel...