The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[NekoParks]

and you get a bucketful of pride.

I put in a fall from the wall...

And you get politically correct scrambled eggs all over the king's men or a static-free balloon.

I put in a chunk from the Berlin Wall....

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get politically correct scrambled eggs all over the king's men or a static-free balloon.

I put in a chunk from the Berlin Wall....

and you get a hunk from East Berlin.

I put in a stroll on the Kurfurstenstrasse...

 

[NekoParks]

and you get a hunk from East Berlin.

I put in a stroll on the Kurfurstenstrasse...

And we stop for a "rest" at the Pullman Berlin Schweizerhof

I toss in a copy of U2's "Zoo Station"...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And we stop for a "rest" at the Pullman Berlin Schweizerhof

I toss in a copy of U2's "Zoo Station"...

and you get a signed copy of Salinger's Franny and Zooey.

I put a catcher in the rye...

 

[NekoParks]

and you get a signed copy of Salinger's Franny and Zooey.

I put a catcher in the rye...

And you get a sexually confused teenager who just wants a decent conversation or "body meeting a body" followed by many sexually allusive stanzas...

"Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro' the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need the warl' ken?"

I put in a field of dreams...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a sexually confused teenager who just wants a decent conversation or "body meeting a body" followed by many sexually allusive stanzas...

"Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro' the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need the warl' ken?"

I put in a field of dreams...

and they will come.

I put in Shady Grove's shoeless feet...

 

[Handley_Page]

and they will come.

I put in Shady Grove's shoeless feet...

The rest of the body is otherwise busy.



I put in a pair of shoes

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The rest of the body is otherwise busy.



I put in a pair of shoes

and you get plantar warts.

I put in Dr. Schole's soles...

 

[NekoParks]

and they will come.

I put in Shady Grove's shoeless feet...

And you go on a quixotically redemptive adventure that ends in meeting the ghost of your father.

I toss in a famous literary character also known as Jay Gatz…

 

[NekoParks]

and you get plantar warts.

I put in Dr. Schole's soles...

and you go out dancing because you are "jellin"

I put in a bent tire rim...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you go on a quixotically redemptive adventure that ends in meeting the ghost of your father.

I toss in a famous literary character also known as Jay Gatz…

and you find yourself pushing up daisy's.

I put in a light at the end of the dock...

 

[NekoParks]

and you find yourself pushing up daisy's.

I put in a light at the end of the dock...

and the green light causes you to end up floating face down in your swimming pool.

I put in the crack-up...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the green light causes you to end up floating face down in your swimming pool.

I put in the crack-up...

and you get a lifetime supply of Dr. Freud's spackling compound.

I put in a Primal Scream...

 

[NekoParks]

and you get a lifetime supply of Dr. Freud's spackling compound.

I put in a Primal Scream...

and Arthur Janov turns your scream into a whisper.

I put in a primal instinct...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and Arthur Janov turns your scream into a whisper.

I put in a primal instinct...

and it turns fatal.

I put in elevator sex...

 

[NekoParks]

and it turns fatal.

I put in elevator sex...

and you become a YOUTUBE sensation.

I put in an internet rumor…

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you become a YOUTUBE sensation.

I put in an internet rumor…

and if enough believe it, it must be true.

I put in the tyranny of the majority...

 

[Storiest]

and if enough believe it, it must be true.

I put in the tyranny of the majority...

And shit actually gets done in congress.

I put in a rusty razor blade.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And shit actually gets done in congress.

I put in a rusty razor blade.

and if the bleedin' don't getcha, than the lockjaw will.

I put in the devil and the deep blue sea...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and if the bleedin' don't getcha, than the lockjaw will.

I put in the devil and the deep blue sea...

But the devil gets her blue dress all wet and there's hell to pay.

I put in a bustle in a hedge row.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

But the devil gets her blue dress all wet and there's hell to pay.

I put in a bustle in a hedge row.

and you get a date with Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle.

I put in Mr. McGregor's garden...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and you get a date with Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle.

I put in Mr. McGregor's garden...

And you get Peter's pants stuck to a fence.


I put in Marley's ghost.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get Peter's pants stuck to a fence.


I put in Marley's ghost.

and you get reminded to be moderate in your commerce with spirits.

I put in a visit with Jack Daniels...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and you get reminded to be moderate in your commerce with spirits.

I put in a visit with Jack Daniels...

And we all get arrested for public annoyance.


I put in a beer chaser.

 

[NekoParks]

And we all get arrested for public annoyance.


I put in a beer chaser.

and your maker boils over.

I put in shaken "Vesper" martini. . .




Casino Royale (1953), chapter 7: "Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel."