We are going to win Lit's Valentine's Day Story Contest

[dutchrain]

Standing on tiptoes compressed her twat, and a gallon of semen fell onto the floor sploogily. Suddenly, the ghost of St. Valentine appeared from the puddle of sticky man-sap.

"Who has conjured me here today using the secret combination of strange names, a submarine-like environment, cross-dressing blondes and bald member-sucking midgets with non-water-tight twats?" he exposited, conveniently. "What is it you desire from me?" he helped the plot by asking.

Quizzically they looked at each other.

"Your cock" stated Abandon. "Since it is Valentine's-day, and you claim to be the real mc. Coy, show it to us and let us devour it!"

 

[parodyluvr75]

Quizzically they looked at each other.

"Your cock" stated Abandon. "Since it is Valentine's-day, and you claim to be the real mc. Coy, show it to us and let us devour it!"

"If he's a ghost there'll be no man juice, only ectoplasm and possibly the spirit clap." Lust grimaced and pointed at the crotch of his ghost pants.

 

[oggbashan]

"Aroint thee, foul fiend!" St Valentine exclaimed. "Thee can have no part of a Saint, and certainly not that part. That is reserved for Agape, or for deflowering sacred virgins. Where are the sacred virgins that are necessary for completing the ritual?"

"Sacred virgins?" queried Lust. "This is Literotica. Sacred virgins are never seen, at least never once they reach the age of 18."

 

[dutchrain]

"Being a virgin is overrated anyway, sacred or not, the Vestalian Virgins only got to tend a fire", exclaimed Desire, "I want more excitement in my life as to watch wood burn.

They slowly rounded in on St. Valentine...

 

[oggbashan]

"Being a virgin is overrated anyway, sacred or not, the Vestalian Virgins only got to tend a fire", exclaimed Desire, "I want more excitement in my life as to watch wood burn.

They slowly rounded in on St. Valentine...

Who suddenly metamorphosed into Priapus with an unbelievably large (even by Literotica terms) erection.

"Can you deal with this, bitches?" He asked, knocking all of them flat as he swung its mass.

Abandon went flying ass over tit as she felt the full impact of Priapus' massive member. Lust diverted her gaze, saw Abandon's ass, hurriedly fitted a large black strap-on, anointed it with petroleum jelly and thrust deep into Abandon.

Lust squealed in terror as Priapus impaled her ass, stretching her sphincter beyond normal limits.

"Fear not, fair Lust!" Priapus cried. "As I am mythical and a God, what you feel is not reality but a facsimile of an impalement. Your ass will recover when a Republican President is elected."

"But that might not be for years!" Lust objected.

"Nevermind. You will feel well and truly shafted until then."

"And afterwards?"

"You'll still be shafted, but the rhetoric will change. It is your destiny to be shafted by politicians, lawyers and many others. Live with it!"

 

[CHNOPS]

My member, stung by the rejection, began to sing a Valentine's Day song.

My heart is thine
My girth is nine
My manly brine
Doth brew
O Valentine
My Valentine
It's time that we doth screw.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Oui Oui Oui

We need a diversion at this point:

Did St Valentine exist? If so, which St Valentine is the real St Valentine? Did he cut out paper hearts? If so, from what, since paper was rare in Italy at the time?

How was he martyred? Did the Church just mix and match tortures for him to make him more saintly? Or was he the victim of unregulated BDSM?

Who cares?

Back to the story.

From 2006: RobDownSouth explains St. Valentine....LIT STYLE!

 

[parodyluvr75]

Who suddenly metamorphosed into Priapus with an unbelievably large (even by Literotica terms) erection.

"Can you deal with this, bitches?" He asked, knocking all of them flat as he swung its mass.

Abandon went flying ass over tit as she felt the full impact of Priapus' massive member. Lust diverted her gaze, saw Abandon's ass, hurriedly fitted a large black strap-on, anointed it with petroleum jelly and thrust deep into Abandon.

Lust squealed in terror as Priapus impaled her ass, stretching her sphincter beyond normal limits.

"Fear not, fair Lust!" Priapus cried. "As I am mythical and a God, what you feel is not reality but a facsimile of an impalement. Your ass will recover when a Republican President is elected."

"But that might not be for years!" Lust objected.

"Nevermind. You will feel well and truly shafted until then."

"And afterwards?"

"You'll still be shafted, but the rhetoric will change. It is your destiny to be shafted by politicians, lawyers and many others. Live with it!"

"And people think communists are crazy? Of course it can change, the people have the real power. I'm leaving to spread the word to my brothers and sisters. When I return politicians and deities alike will bend over and get what's coming to them." Lust huffed off, limping and rubbing her tender ass.

 

[CHNOPS]

"We need a good, 200 word conclusion," my swollen and neglected member said, correctly. "Let's see what we can come 'up' with," it thought it punned.

 

[dutchrain]

"We need a good, 200 word conclusion," my swollen and neglected member said, correctly. "Let's see what we can come 'up' with," it thought it punned.

The song THE Member had been singing, and now this pondering had drawn Desire's interest. As Priapus had swept the room with his cock, nocked over Abandon and impaled Lust, she had ducked her head under the table and rubbed her bald scalp afterwards.

A hard fucking, followed by a load of spunk on her head would help to get a nice bush of hair up there, if delivered exactly at midnight on Valentine's-day.

 

[CHNOPS]

"Well," I said, surveying the wreckage of my damaged idea. "I guess we went out with a 'bang.' I'd say this will be a Valentine's Day we will all Re-'Member'!" The the entire cast gathered and laughed as the orchestra played and the camera faded to black.

This has been a true story.

###

 

[CHNOPS]

A Valentine's Day to Re"Member"!
​

A beautiful woman was sucking my member.
"What is your name, beautiful cocksucker?" I queried.
"Valentine," she muffled. "And today is going to be a day you will re'member'!"
"What's the word limit?" I asked Britishly, not knowing how much to say.
"No limits," she fellated. "Only lust and desire. Those are my sisters: Lust is the Blonde, and Desire is the midget."
"Have Desire go and make me a pot of tea", I grunted between thrusts. "I find her cross eyed look off putting."

Even though my name is Desire I am still the only asexual stripper on this submarine.
You would think this would make life easier but I long to want to fellate with Abandon.

I looked over to the corner of the room where Lust & Desire were crouched eyeing Valentine with inscrutable expressions on their sexy sexy faces. It was strange, they both looked so familiar yet I couldn't quite place the leggy blonde with the 5-o-clock shadow just starting to grow in. Or the midget for that matter, who was bald headed.

"Who are all these people in our submarine??!?" I looked up. It was my girlfriend, Abandon. I could tell by her extra question marks and exclamation points that she was angry.
"Don't punctuate angrily," Desire said, short-and-baldly. "I just want to fellate with you."
Abandon looked over at me, and I gave my approval to have more people give me pleasure. "I'm doing this for you. For us," I figured, as things had not been easy for us since the "incident" last Valentine's Day.
Wonton Abandon sighed and slid closer to the growing crowd surrounding me, and my member.
"Oops, I forgot his tea," Desire Twininged.
"Today is not about tea," a narrator pointed out. "It is about Valentine's day-long blowjob and the wonderful things a person could do with $150."

You missed one.
Desire said, crosseyedly mistaking my single member for two.

"Let me help you with this, it's too big." Lust chirped as she moved closer and slipped her arm around her cross-eyed third cousin. And them I filled her twat with a gallon of semen.

We need a diversion at this point:
Did St Valentine exist? If so, which St Valentine is the real St Valentine? Did he cut out paper hearts? If so, from what, since paper was rare in Italy at the time?
How was he martyred? Did the Church just mix and match tortures for him to make him more saintly? Or was he the victim of unregulated BDSM?
Who cares?
Back to the story.

Then the midget grabbed his hard horse cock.
She had to grab it with two hands, since they were so small, and his cock so big. Standing on tiptoes she could just reach it with her mouth.
Stretching her mouth she began to gobble his gander.
Standing on tiptoes compressed her twat, and a gallon of semen fell onto the floor sploogily. Suddenly, the ghost of St. Valentine appeared from the puddle of sticky man-sap.

"Who has conjured me here today using the secret combination of strange names, a submarine-like environment, cross-dressing blondes and bald member-sucking midgets with non-water-tight twats?" he exposited, conveniently. "What is it you desire from me?" he helped the plot by asking.
Quizzically they looked at each other.
"Your cock" stated Abandon. "Since it is Valentine's-day, and you claim to be the real mc. Coy, show it to us and let us devour it!"
"If he's a ghost there'll be no man juice, only ectoplasm and possibly the spirit clap." Lust grimaced and pointed at the crotch of his ghost pants.
"Aroint thee, foul fiend!" St Valentine exclaimed. "Thee can have no part of a Saint, and certainly not that part. That is reserved for Agape, or for deflowering sacred virgins. Where are the sacred virgins that are necessary for completing the ritual?"
"Sacred virgins?" queried Lust. "This is Literotica. Sacred virgins are never seen, at least never once they reach the age of 18."
"Being a virgin is overrated anyway, sacred or not, the Vestalian Virgins only got to tend a fire", exclaimed Desire, "I want more excitement in my life as to watch wood burn.
They slowly rounded in on St. Valentine...
Who suddenly metamorphosed into Priapus with an unbelievably large (even by Literotica terms) erection.
"Can you deal with this, bitches?" He asked, knocking all of them flat as he swung its mass.
Abandon went flying ass over tit as she felt the full impact of Priapus' massive member. Lust diverted her gaze, saw Abandon's ass, hurriedly fitted a large black strap-on, anointed it with petroleum jelly and thrust deep into Abandon.
Lust squealed in terror as Priapus impaled her ass, stretching her sphincter beyond normal limits.
"Fear not, fair Lust!" Priapus cried. "As I am mythical and a God, what you feel is not reality but a facsimile of an impalement. Your ass will recover when a Republican President is elected."
"But that might not be for years!" Lust objected.
"Nevermind. You will feel well and truly shafted until then."
"And afterwards?"
"You'll still be shafted, but the rhetoric will change. It is your destiny to be shafted by politicians, lawyers and many others. Live with it!"

My member, stung by the rejection, began to sing a Valentine's Day song.

My heart is thine
My girth is nine
My manly brine
Doth brew
O Valentine
My Valentine
It's time that we doth screw.

"And people think communists are crazy? Of course it can change, the people have the real power. I'm leaving to spread the word to my brothers and sisters. When I return politicians and deities alike will bend over and get what's coming to them." Lust huffed off, limping and rubbing her tender ass.

"We need a good, 200 word conclusion," my swollen and neglected member said, correctly. "Let's see what we can come 'up' with," it thought it punned.
The song THE Member had been singing, and now this pondering had drawn Desire's interest. As Priapus had swept the room with his cock, nocked over Abandon and impaled Lust, she had ducked her head under the table and rubbed her bald scalp afterwards. A hard fucking, followed by a load of spunk on her head would help to get a nice bush of hair up there, if delivered exactly at midnight on Valentine's-day.

"Well," I said, surveying the wreckage of my damaged idea. "I guess we went out with a 'bang.' I'd say this will be a Valentine's Day we will all Re-'Member'!" The the entire cast gathered and laughed as the orchestra played and the camera faded to black.

This has been a true story.

###


^^^^ To be submitted tomorrow, February 5 as written.

 

[EllieTalbot]

*golf clap*

 

[Disgustipated]

Yates, Mike.

 

[CHNOPS]

Atemydick, Luke.

 

[neci]

i will vote for it. just be sure to post a link and your cock, so i'm sure to look.

 

[Disgustipated]

Atemydick, Luke.

I just fisted his Mom's beard.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I read a whole thread!

 

[neci]

i love you.

 

[Disgustipated]

Rabbit, Jessica.

 

[sweepthefloor]

love love love

 

[glynndah]

Just how did that midget get a horse on board that submarine? Like all good literature, this story leaves some things open to interpretation. You know, similies and metaphors and all that stuff.

 

[Morcheeba]

But what happened to Abandon?

 

[glynndah]

But what happened to Abandon?

Obviously, she rode off on the midget's horse.

 

[CHNOPS]

Author's name is gb_jizz.