Mental Illness

[KoPilot]

You know you've wanted to get help for a long time and when you don't you've gotten to this point again and again?

I hope you do it this time. I'm not at all sure about the number of kink friendly practitioners is kink germane to your issues with panic and anxiety?

Yeah, basically. Mostly because I've always had to go through my parents (their insurance) and that was usually such a big hurdle on its own that I usually killed the idea before it got too far along. It's all my stuff now so getting around them is a bonus. Unfortunately I have to schedule everything myself now too. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm constantly blowing everything out of proportion consciously and that I can "get over" my issues if I'm just determined enough. Though I know that's probably my dad speaking, who doesn't seem to believe in illness, let alone mental illness, of any kind. (He was raised in a hardcore Christian Scientist household.)

They're not central to my issues at all, but I would like to be able to bring up my queerness in all its myriad manifestations as I deem them relevant so I don't feel like I'm having to hide from my therapist of all people.

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, basically. Mostly because I've always had to go through my parents (their insurance) and that was usually such a big hurdle on its own that I usually killed the idea before it got too far along. It's all my stuff now so getting around them is a bonus. Unfortunately I have to schedule everything myself now too. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm constantly blowing everything out of proportion consciously and that I can "get over" my issues if I'm just determined enough. Though I know that's probably my dad speaking, who doesn't seem to believe in illness, let alone mental illness, of any kind. (He was raised in a hardcore Christian Scientist household.)

They're not central to my issues at all, but I would like to be able to bring up my queerness in all its myriad manifestations as I deem them relevant so I don't feel like I'm having to hide from my therapist of all people.

I'd say even when I worked with a therapist who was ho hum about my bisexuality and downright hostile to my kink orientation, the work on my anxiety was a life saver, so it's good to have someone you don't have to hide from, but it's OK also to have someone you stick to a very specific problem with till you're stabilized and then you can move on if it's not compatible.

This said, it's getting better, though it's always going to be harder the further you are from the bell curves. I've found therapists who actually manage not to pathologize being a sex worker of some kind, who knew THAT was out there!

So, I'd say start with the list, start with very small digestible bits of info if you wind up with someone you're not sure about, and start with the things that are inhibiting your function in the immediate here and how.

If that IS your sexuality, then be cautious, don't settle for less than respect.

If it's not, save it for last or later.

 

[KoPilot]

I'd say even when I worked with a therapist who was ho hum about my bisexuality and downright hostile to my kink orientation, the work on my anxiety was a life saver, so it's good to have someone you don't have to hide from, but it's OK also to have someone you stick to a very specific problem with till you're stabilized and then you can move on if it's not compatible.

This said, it's getting better, though it's always going to be harder the further you are from the bell curves. I've found therapists who actually manage not to pathologize being a sex worker of some kind, who knew THAT was out there!

So, I'd say start with the list, start with very small digestible bits of info if you wind up with someone you're not sure about, and start with the things that are inhibiting your function in the immediate here and how.

If that IS your sexuality, then be cautious, don't settle for less than respect.

If it's not, save it for last or later.

That's all very true, thanks Netz. Buhh keeping things in perspective.

I guess my case of "YOU BETTER ACCEPT ALL THE THINGS" is a side effect of my previous sessions with a therapist I got through my school who was really picky about which things were supposedly relevant to my crap. Gotta keep things in perspective. Gotta keep things in perspective.

Anyways, thanks. I'm actively avoiding actually talking about this with anyone so it's like... I'm going to weird internet places full of strangers to have my little freakouts about it.

 

[ShyHalie]

Hey there,

To say I'm experienced with shrinks, therapists and the like is a gross understatement. A therapist whose objective and open minded is beyond worth it whether they understand kink or not. Really good ones are hard to find but always remember, they are there to provide a service to you. You'll know at the first visit whether it's someone you're comfortable with or not. As the customer, if you don't have a good feeling about them, walk out and keep looking. All that said, life is what happens while you're waiting for things to 'get better'. Get the help you need and don't feel weird about it. The really screwed up people are the ones that can't accept they have a problem to begin with...

 

[BiBunny]

So, my dear and crazy friends...I have a question.

Light boxes? Anybody use them? And if so, any recommendations for a decent cheap one? I'm looking at one that clips to the top of a laptop monitor for ease of use, but if anyone has personal experiences with them, I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you.

 

[KoPilot]

So, my dear and crazy friends...I have a question.

Light boxes? Anybody use them? And if so, any recommendations for a decent cheap one? I'm looking at one that clips to the top of a laptop monitor for ease of use, but if anyone has personal experiences with them, I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you.

Wait, you mean the kind you trace over?

 

[Netzach]

So, my dear and crazy friends...I have a question.

Light boxes? Anybody use them? And if so, any recommendations for a decent cheap one? I'm looking at one that clips to the top of a laptop monitor for ease of use, but if anyone has personal experiences with them, I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you.

I always did the thing you're not supposed to do and popped into a tanning bed, the basic one, for a few minutes. I don't officially have SAD, but living here EVERYONE has it to some degree, I'm convinced.

 

[KoPilot]

I think she means the kind that produces full spectrum light, and can be set as an alarm clock to create an artificial sunrise effect.

Full spectrum bulbs hurt my eyes pretty bad if in my field of vision, though the light from them does seem to help my mood somewhat. Trying to use them to wake up to though seems to make me ill.

Weird I know.

Okay that makes way more sense given the thread.

/artist and nothing else

 

[ShyHalie]

I always did the thing you're not supposed to do and popped into a tanning bed, the basic one, for a few minutes. I don't officially have SAD, but living here EVERYONE has it to some degree, I'm convinced.

Tanning bed has always worked pretty well for me too. Try the high pressure variety, just occasionally when you can't take the gray anymore. It has less burn rays than a conventional bed and the light is great. I tried the light box Philips does (about $100 U.S.) but it bothered my light sensitive eyes...

 

[FurryFury]

This is interesting. I've always thought tanning and tanning beds to be ridiculous things but I've never thought of them from a SAD POV.

 

[BiBunny]

I always did the thing you're not supposed to do and popped into a tanning bed, the basic one, for a few minutes. I don't officially have SAD, but living here EVERYONE has it to some degree, I'm convinced.

I used to do that, but that was when I lived with my parents and my mother had a tanning bed in her basement.

I think she means the kind that produces full spectrum light, and can be set as an alarm clock to create an artificial sunrise effect.

Full spectrum bulbs hurt my eyes pretty bad if in my field of vision, though the light from them does seem to help my mood somewhat. Trying to use them to wake up to though seems to make me ill.

Weird I know.

I don't think I'd want to wake up to it, either. I was just thinking more along the lines of turning it on beside me as I do my work. In some of the reviews on Amazon, people were complaining about the lower-powered ones and having to sit in front of them for so long in order to get any effect from it. I don't think it'd matter much to me, though, since I sit in front of my laptop all day, anyway. I could just sit the lamp next to the laptop and go on about my business.

 

[FurryFury]

Klonopin isn't a useful anti anxiety drug for my girl. It makes her dizzy which is something she really doesn't need. It also makes her trip. What in heavens name is good about a drug that takes four hours to go into effect, I'll never know.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS*

Ever since I dealt with my Daddy in the hospital and the long dark nights were hell, I like to sleep in sunlight or at least a little light.

I can just imagine being "awakened" by an alarm clock that does this. It would likely also awake my husband and my cat. Not good. So I wonder how co-sleeping people deal with this when they are on opposite schedules?

 

[unknooown]

Klonopin isn't a useful anti anxiety drug for my girl. It makes her dizzy which is something she really doesn't need. It also makes her trip. What in heavens name is good about a drug that takes four hours to go into effect, I'll never know.

My girl's prescribed Klonnies too and I don't get it. It's for her panic attacks which don't happen often luckily but are almost always at night, though sometimes in the afternoon. I notice she begins to calm down about an hour after taking one but they don't hit full effect until about three or four hours in. What the fuck is the point of that? At that point she's either asleep, exhausted from hours of severe anxiety, or completely hysterical.

It does help her sleep which is also a regular problem of hers but neither of us is comfortable with the idea of her taking them for that purpose. From what I've read, though, if instead of taking it as needed your girl takes one each night (like one would a sleeping pill), it could continue to help her be calm during waking hours without the dizziness/sleepiness.

 

[unknooown]

I used to do that, but that was when I lived with my parents and my mother had a tanning bed in her basement.

I don't know where you live but Planet Fitness has tanning booths and a membership there is supposed to be insanely cheap, maybe look into it.

 

[FurryFury]

I'll keep that in mind. Right now she feels she is sleeping well though and klonopin is supposed to be addictive so I'm not really wanting her to take it every night rather than as needed. Or really, I'm thinking she doesn't need to take it at all.

My girl has an interesting ability to just flip a switch and get better sometimes. I'm hoping that between me, the counselor and her prescribing doc, she has heard enough to push through. Her fight comes and goes since last year which is something I've never seen happen with her before. It's scary to see my fighter, who never, quit suddenly just, give, up.

My girl's prescribed Klonnies too and I don't get it. It's for her panic attacks which don't happen often luckily but are almost always at night, though sometimes in the afternoon. I notice she begins to calm down about an hour after taking one but they don't hit full effect until about three or four hours in. What the fuck is the point of that? At that point she's either asleep, exhausted from hours of severe anxiety, or completely hysterical.

It does help her sleep which is also a regular problem of hers but neither of us is comfortable with the idea of her taking them for that purpose. From what I've read, though, if instead of taking it as needed your girl takes one each night (like one would a sleeping pill), it could continue to help her be calm during waking hours without the dizziness/sleepiness.

 

[KoPilot]

So I gathered the courage to see a psych about a month ago and I've seen her 3 times already.

It's at the point where I've finally finished up with the backstory and apparently a lot of my issues are stemming from things that I thought I worked through/got over years ago. She says it's "serious trauma", and that such things tend to be extremely unpredictable in how they pop up in your life again, what things turn into triggers, etc.

Anyone gone through this? It's super frustrating to go 5-10 years of being irrationally afraid of X thing and then, as I'm getting over that, start to develop phobias and avoidance issues with Y thing, both of which aren't directly tied into the trauma as far as I can tell. The intensity seems to fluctuate over the years, and the triggers seem almost random.

 

[FurryFury]

First of all, good for you actually getting help KoPilot. *HUGS*

My girl has these kinds of issues. They come out at odd times and in ways you don't expect. Some things are difficult to truly resolve. I'm sure things will get better now that you are getting help.

 

[KoPilot]

First of all, good for you actually getting help KoPilot. *HUGS*

My girl has these kinds of issues. They come out at odd times and in ways you don't expect. Some things are difficult to truly resolve. I'm sure things will get better now that you are getting help.

Thanks.

I guess, now that all this is surfacing again, I am going to have to make peace with the idea that I'm always going to be feeling the repercussions of that period in my life. I suppose I could count myself lucky if I have fewer bullets to dodge in the end.

 

[FurryFury]

Maybe not always . . .

And yes, developing an attitude of gratitude is a very good thing.

*HUGS*

Thanks.

I guess, now that all this is surfacing again, I am going to have to make peace with the idea that I'm always going to be feeling the repercussions of that period in my life. I suppose I could count myself lucky if I have fewer bullets to dodge in the end.

 

[FurryFury]

Argh! My girl is coming home too much due to "anxiety" or "nervous energy" and it's freaking me out. I mean my blood pressure is always low but the last time she called, Tuesday I think it shot up through the roof. I felt like I might have a stroke.

She couldn't tell me why. She didn't think anything had happened. WTF?!?

Plus Monday I'd taken her to her therapist.

I have to get a handle on my feelings about this because it really feels like it could kill me.

It would be helpful to remember when she didn't come home and was more independent as well.

I wonder when she is EVER going to recover to that point again or if she will? Scary!

 

[BiBunny]

Ok, so I have this friend who's more than a little...off...himself. He's one of those insane drama queens whose life is so much worse than everyone else's and nobody understands and nobody wants to help and ohgodwoeisme.

Most of the time, I just let it roll off my back. When he's not over-dramatizing like a low-rent Shakespearean actor, he's fun to talk to.

But he's met a girl. He finds these girls on CollarMe and FetLife, and they're all freaking nuts. He's pretty much always chatting online to three or four of them at any given time. It's very rare that he meets them, though, and when he does, the whole thing usually just fizzles. This time, however, he met one, and now he's absolutely losing his damn mind.

They met for the first time Wednesday, I think it was, after chatting online for a month or so. Apparently, the date went semi-well, and he's hit the over-analysis stage.

He keeps asking me what I think and what he should do. I give him advice, and then he proceeds to give me all these reasons why what I say is the wrong thing to do. And so I'm like, "Ok, if you don't want to know what I think, don't freaking ask."

He won't stop texting her, despite my saying that he really needs to back off. He has this habit of coming on WAY, WAY, WAY too strong, while somehow thinking he's being subtle. I keep telling him to let it go for a day or two. His response? "Well, if I do that, she won't know I like her!"

And I'm like, "Dude, you kissed her at the end of the date and told her you'd like to do it again sometime. She's aware. Now leave her alone for a day or two before she decides you're a creep and starts avoiding you."

Then, he was like, "I'm going to ask her out for next week!" I pointed out that they'd just gone out on Wednesday and trying to schedule a second date within 3 or 4 days of the first one was most likely going to look way too pushy. I suggested he wait until later next week to ask her out for the following week if she still seemed interested. Oh, boy, that put him off the deep end. Oh, God, what was he going to do until then? I was like, "Uh, I didn't say you couldn't talk to her at all. I said stop texting every couple of hours and chill the hell out on trying to force another date so soon."

Anyway, why am I putting this in the mental health thread? Because the sonofabitch is DRIVING ME CRAZY. I'm sorry, but men are not supposed to act like this. Well, women, either, really.

I'm kinda sick of babysitting him. I'm tempted to just tell him to do what he will, and then maybe she'll stop talking to him because she thinks he's a creep, and then he'll have to find something else to obsess over. Either that or tell him to get therapy. Christ almighty.

But because I hate to be mean, I've been holding my tongue. It's. So. Hard. Though.

 

[FurryFury]

My mother is raging.

My girl has ruined all but one class this semester and won't stay at her apartment.

My son's new gf has decided he can't look at porn. Caught him at it then "punished" him by making him watch her cutting and "od-ing" though she is fine, alive, didn't go to the hospital. I'm outraged.

I'm surrounded by crazy. It's making me crazy.

 

[Sprinkles22]

So, on a recent thread about what a PYL needs from a pyl lack of mental illness was mentioned.

Mental illness is often mentioned to explain (erroneously, IMO,) why people are into fringe behavior such as BDSM.

How do you feel about mental illness which, btw, seems rampant in Western Society today?

As someone with an Adult ADHD with depression child it breaks my heart to see the struggles she goes through every day. She is quite the warrior fighting battles by the score. OTOH, while not comfortable, having a Dr. Who brain can be quite miraculous in some ways.

FF

My response to the OP of this thread -

1) Good luck finding any mate without some form of mental illness in this world. It exists on every continent, within every ethnicity and socioeconomic group. Mental illness is a social disorder, not a sexual disorder. Mental illness should not shape our ability to be loved or needed.

2) For nearly 4 years I have been living under my umbrella of severe depression. The past 11 months of my life I have spent in isolation from the world around me. I have had suicidal ideations. I have made 3 suicide attempts. I have spent time in a psych hospital. Y'all want to know something? My sexuality, submission and BDSM enjoyment did not play a single role in my behavior. Frankly if BDSM could have been an influence it may have SAVED me from myself and protected me. BDSM certainly did not make me sicker; natures chemical imbalance has taken that credit.

 

[FurryFury]

*hugs*

Good points.

Mental illness is a spectrum after all and quite rampant in our society.

My response to the OP of this thread -

1) Good luck finding any mate without some form of mental illness in this world. It exists on every continent, within every ethnicity and socioeconomic group. Mental illness is a social disorder, not a sexual disorder. Mental illness should not shape our ability to be loved or needed.

2) For nearly 4 years I have been living under my umbrella of severe depression. The past 11 months of my life I have spent in isolation from the world around me. I have had suicidal ideations. I have made 3 suicide attempts. I have spent time in a psych hospital. Y'all want to know something? My sexuality, submission and BDSM enjoyment did not play a single role in my behavior. Frankly if BDSM could have been an influence it may have SAVED me from myself and protected me. BDSM certainly did not make me sicker; natures chemical imbalance has taken that credit.