Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Mostly when I read complaints like the OP's I think what they really mean is that they can't muster the arguments to support their position against someone with better skills, and they resent being challenged. Most of us just want what we want and don't want to have to defend our life choices.
it's pretty fucking tough to find the balance. My empowerment stops at your face-- yours stops at mine.
Yes, individual women have every right in the world to sign themselves over to a male partner. Yes, other individual women have every right in the world to point out how problematic it is for us to see that dynamic paraded on the street.
Everyone has the right-- and I would say, the motherfucking duty-- to question and examine their desires -- and re-question and reexamine. Not to mention, develop a sense of rectitude about how we display that stuff. And there's a terrible bossiness in many of us, based on the terrible feeling that many women don't examine their choices much. It's probably less true now than it was when I was a kid, and I keep reminding myself of that.
One enormous problem with the phrase "feminists say..." is that there is as much varience within feminism as there is within women. back in the day, so few women DID speak up that there was this perception that any woman who did so was a spokesperson for all women. And that notion seems to persist today.
I'll tell you what, OP. When some woman tells you she is a feminist and you are doing a Bad Thing you can tell her right back; "I am a feminist and I disagree with you." And get your arguments in line to support your position.
it's pretty fucking tough to find the balance. My empowerment stops at your face-- yours stops at mine.
Yes, individual women have every right in the world to sign themselves over to a male partner. Yes, other individual women have every right in the world to point out how problematic it is for us to see that dynamic paraded on the street.
Everyone has the right-- and I would say, the motherfucking duty-- to question and examine their desires -- and re-question and reexamine. Not to mention, develop a sense of rectitude about how we display that stuff. And there's a terrible bossiness in many of us, based on the terrible feeling that many women don't examine their choices much. It's probably less true now than it was when I was a kid, and I keep reminding myself of that.
One enormous problem with the phrase "feminists say..." is that there is as much varience within feminism as there is within women. back in the day, so few women DID speak up that there was this perception that any woman who did so was a spokesperson for all women. And that notion seems to persist today.
I'll tell you what, OP. When some woman tells you she is a feminist and you are doing a Bad Thing you can tell her right back; "I am a feminist and I disagree with you." And get your arguments in line to support your position.