Nobama Divorce

[amicus]

A long ago lady friend in Honolulu used to call me when her dark room duties were up..."skirt and blouse today...' ...short hand for no panties, no bra, right after I finished my radio program...sweet lady she was and is...

"

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
** If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! **

God is Good

.

~~~
Ah, the good old days of yesteryear....what a shithole of left wing assholes this nation has become...the true dregs of European misadventures, press 666 for really fubar...

ami

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I seem to have seen this, at least two years ago...


I think Limbaugh featured it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Hiya Amicus!

I had a similar thought just yesterday, to run for office with a promise to raise taxes on Liberals and lower taxes on Conservatives; that is, print separate 1040s for Ds and Rs. Simply show proof of voter registration, and pay those high taxes you love. But I like your proposition, it would dump all the ugly women onto the other side.

 

[RobDownSouth]

One good cut-n-paste deserves another. Derp!

Dear Conservatives, Rightists, Regressives, Fascists, Nazis and Bush Supporters,


Thank you so much for bringing up the divorce our side has been asking about for the last eight years. You’re a little late trying to do this on friendly terms, but we are feeling a bit more magnanimous than we have been for the past few years. You caught us at a good time. But, if you don’t mind, lets please expedite this process as we are trying speed up our metaphorical cruise, and we’ll move a lot faster without our metaphorical anchor.

So, here’s a counter offer:

Your side has about 20% to 25% of the population, so that’s what you should have in landmass. Should be contiguous for obvious reasons, but we’ll work that part out later as there will be some people upset no matter where we put you. (The south does come to mind for ease of logistics.) We will be glad to take the liberal judges and the ACLU along with the Constitution they understand and defend. (You do kind of fuck it up, just like you do with the Bible when you read it, so it’s better off in our hands.) We will also be glad to take Michael Moore, Oprah and Rosie O’Donnell, Hollywood and NBC. And please, take the greedy CEO’s, Palin, rednecks, all bigots and if don’t mind, right wing radio with you. Well, all propaganda if that's okay. Plus, yes, we’ll take all religions, but would prefer if you take the theocrats of all stripes. Cool?

Good.

Now here’s where it gets tricky. See, we both need cops and military. We will let you have a military, but you will have to build your own. We started this country don’t forget, along with ending slavery, child labor and Jim Crow. We ended the Great Depression, won WWII, gave women the vote and gave the world all the great comedians. You fought to keep all the bad ideas and gave us Bush; so we’ll use our upper hand even if you do mind. Now, on to the cops. Again, both sides need cops, but you can have the ones you are so quick to defend after they shoot or beat someone that hadn’t done anything wrong.

Great, let’s start today.


Sincerely,

Someone who is not going to lie about being a law student.

 

[bronzeage]

Silly shit.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

OK but here's where it sux to be YOU. The Mississippi up to Illinois is ours. Ditto for the oil wells in the Gulf, and damn near all the corn and wheat fields in America. Looks like youre LEFT with the Niggaz in Detroit and DC, and California/Hawaii faggots.

 

[bronzeage]

OK but here's where it sux to be YOU. The Mississippi up to Illinois is ours. Ditto for the oil wells in the Gulf, and damn near all the corn and wheat fields in America. Looks like youre LEFT with the Niggaz in Detroit and DC, and California/Hawaii faggots.

You can have the oil wells in the Gulf when you pry them out of my cold dead fingers.

You couldn't hack it when you were on the public payroll, I don't expect to see anything out of you when you're on the dole.

 

[KingOrfeo]

Your side has about 20% to 25% of the population, so that’s what you should have in landmass. Should be contiguous for obvious reasons . . .

No, no, let 'em have the Moon. We'll hire the MeSA (Mexican Space Agency) to ship them there. Say hi to Wyllzx!

 

[kbate]

Just so long as Amicus and JBJ take along Vetteman, Miles, Coach and Ishmael - I think we're close to sealing a deal here.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Just so long as Amicus and JBJ take along Vetteman, Miles, Coach and Ishmael - I think we're close to sealing a deal here.

OK. That leaves you with Hillary, Michelle, Whoopi, Andrea Dworkin, Al Sharpton, Pelosi, and Bill Maher.

 

[coachdb18]

Just so long as Amicus and JBJ take along Vetteman, Miles, Coach and Ishmael - I think we're close to sealing a deal here.

OK. That leaves you with Hillary, Michelle, Whoopi, Andrea Dworkin, Al Sharpton, Pelosi, and Bill Maher.

Just don't go dragging us back at the point of a gun this time ....

http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=5000704085852760&id=958619dfcc4231be0c1d87d1fec4cdd9

 

[phrodeau]

OK but here's where it sux to be YOU. The Mississippi up to Illinois is ours. Ditto for the oil wells in the Gulf, and damn near all the corn and wheat fields in America. Looks like youre LEFT with the Niggaz in Detroit and DC, and California/Hawaii faggots.

The Mississippi is fresh and clean on our end.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Just don't go dragging us back at the point of a gun this time ....

http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=5000704085852760&id=958619dfcc4231be0c1d87d1fec4cdd9

I'm almost done reading Raphael Semmes memoir of his Confederate naval service, and the book is a wonder. He was a constitutional lawyer, too, and knew how America was constructed. The principle reason the Feds didnt hang Semmes, Lee, Davis, et al was, SCOTUS ordained the South as a legitimate belligerant power. That is, SCOTUS annointed the CSA as a sovereign nation.

Lincoln and the GOP wanted their cake and eat it, too. That is, Lincoln wanted to confiscate slaves, cargo, land, etc from Southerners, and someone in his Cabinet was foolish enough to make a fuss with SCOTUS. And SCOTUS said, YOU CANT BLOCKADE AND CONFISCATE PROPERTY FROM AMERICAN CITIZENS WHO ARE REBELS, WITHOUT DUE PROCESS IN COURT. BUT YOU CAN DO IT TO BELLIGERANT FOREIGN POWERS. And THAT was the legal foundation for Emancipation.

 

[coachdb18]

I'm almost done reading Raphael Semmes memoir of his Confederate naval service, and the book is a wonder. He was a constitutional lawyer, too, and knew how America was constructed. The principle reason the Feds didnt hang Semmes, Lee, Davis, et al was, SCOTUS ordained the South as a legitimate belligerant power. That is, SCOTUS annointed the CSA as a sovereign nation.

Lincoln and the GOP wanted their cake and eat it, too. That is, Lincoln wanted to confiscate slaves, cargo, land, etc from Southerners, and someone in his Cabinet was foolish enough to make a fuss with SCOTUS. And SCOTUS said, YOU CANT BLOCKADE AND CONFISCATE PROPERTY FROM AMERICAN CITIZENS WHO ARE REBELS, WITHOUT DUE PROCESS IN COURT. BUT YOU CAN DO IT TO BELLIGERANT FOREIGN POWERS. And THAT was the legal foundation for Emancipation.

The Civil War never was about slavery or emancipation, in fact it wasn't until the Federal government was in danger of loosing that the emancipation proclamation was written in 1862, two year into the war. The war always was about states rights, and continues to be so today. Slavery was a dying issue, just made it easier for Lincoln to justify dominating the states and taking away their sovereignty at gunpoint.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The Civil War never was about slavery or emancipation, in fact it wasn't until the Federal government was in danger of loosing that the emancipation proclamation was written in 1862, two year into the war. The war always was about states rights, and continues to be so today. Slavery was a dying issue, just made it easier for Lincoln to justify dominating the states and taking away their sovereignty at gunpoint.

Americans are incapable of seeing things for what they are. The Civil War never ended slavery, the 13th Amendment ended slavery. And hardly anyone protested emancipation. Howcome? Cuz planters were immediately and forever released from responsibility for workers incapable of labor....babies, kids, geezers, pregnant women.

 

[KingOrfeo]

The Civil War never was about slavery or emancipation . . .

Of course it was. If there had been no slavery, there would have been no war.

 

[coachdb18]

Americans are incapable of seeing things for what they are. The Civil War never ended slavery, the 13th Amendment ended slavery. And hardly anyone protested emancipation. Howcome? Cuz planters were immediately and forever released from responsibility for workers incapable of labor....babies, kids, geezers, pregnant women.

Emancipation was protested by some, but very few, as it was no longer feasible nor necessary. With the advent of machinery, such as the cotton gin, humans were simply less efficient and proved to be more costly overhead economically than the newly introduced machinery.

Now, we have Democrats once again trying slavery in the form of illegals, who receive no minimum wage, no entitlements, no health care or benefits packages.... and are frequent victims of crime due to their illegal status. Democats have disccovered you don't have to feed, clothe or house your help, just keep them migratory and use them without further thought or involvement.

Until Democrats are on board with real equal rights via a legitimate immigration policy, they will continue to expolit illegal aliens for personal gain. The plantation politics which has for so long kept blacks subservient to the Democrats is now using the back of the Mexican illegal to keep the plantation alive.

 

[SgtSpiderMan]

The Civil War never was about slavery or emancipation, in fact it wasn't until the Federal government was in danger of loosing that the emancipation proclamation was written in 1862, two year into the war. The war always was about states rights, and continues to be so today. Slavery was a dying issue, just made it easier for Lincoln to justify dominating the states and taking away their sovereignty at gunpoint.

And I'm sure you're proud to part of the political party that fought against states' rights.

 

[RjThoughts]

The Civil War never was about slavery or emancipation, in fact it wasn't until the Federal government was in danger of loosing that the emancipation proclamation was written in 1862, two year into the war. The war always was about states rights, and continues to be so today. Slavery was a dying issue, just made it easier for Lincoln to justify dominating the states and taking away their sovereignty at gunpoint.

Return to the books. The war began on April 12, 1861. SMH sometimes Americans don't know their own history.

 

[bronzeage]

Ya gotta love revisionist history.

The Civil War wasn't about slavery. Not at all. It was all about some other things.

Southern slave owners were glad to be rid of their slaves. They probably would have ended slavery all by themselves, but they fought a war on their own land, lost hundreds of thousands of men, and saw their net worth reduced to nothing, just to prove a point.

Next up: FDR knew the Japanese were going to attack Pearl Harbor, but didn't do anything because it would be a good way to scrap some obsolete battle ships and have to build new aircraft carriers.

 

[RjThoughts]

Ya gotta love revisionist history.

The Civil War wasn't about slavery. Not at all. It was all about some other things.

Southern slave owners were glad to be rid of their slaves. They probably would have ended slavery all by themselves, but they fought a war on their own land, lost hundreds of thousands of men, and saw their net worth reduced to nothing, just to prove a point.

Next up: FDR knew the Japanese were going to attack Pearl Harbor, but didn't do anything because it would be a good way to scrap some obsolete battle ships and have to build new aircraft carriers.

It wouldn't surprise me that some Fundementalist colleges, say like Liberty, do teach "revisionist history."

 

[coachdb18]

Return to the books. The war began on April 12, 1861. SMH sometimes Americans don't know their own history.

The Emancipation Proclamation was written at the very end of 1862, and issued January 1, 1863, and as such just shy of two years into the war, a matter of some seeming importantance to the anally retentive. The important and relevant fact is that the abolition of slavery, as espoused as the 'reason for the war' by many, wasn't even addressed for two years of the conflict.

 

[RjThoughts]

The Emancipation Proclamation was written at the very end of 1862, and issued January 1, 1863, and as such just shy of two years into the war, a matter of some seeming importantance to the anally retentive. The important and relevant fact is that the abolition of slavery, as espoused as the 'reason for the war' by many, wasn't even addressed for two years of the conflict.

The Emancipation came DURING the War, NOT a cause of it. Again smh.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ya gotta love revisionist history.

The Civil War wasn't about slavery. Not at all. It was all about some other things.

Southern slave owners were glad to be rid of their slaves. They probably would have ended slavery all by themselves, but they fought a war on their own land, lost hundreds of thousands of men, and saw their net worth reduced to nothing, just to prove a point.

Next up: FDR knew the Japanese were going to attack Pearl Harbor, but didn't do anything because it would be a good way to scrap some obsolete battle ships and have to build new aircraft carriers.

The war was about what most wars are about, control of government assets and taxpayers money. Actually the real stink was over the location of the first transcontinental railroad. The South wanted it built from New Orleans to California, the North wanted it built from Chicago to California.

I think the North correctly feared that slave railroad labor, North or South, would discourage farmers and mechanics from settling along the route of the road. Moms and Pops cant compete with slave labor, and economies of scale.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The Emancipation came DURING the War, NOT a cause of it. Again smh.

Stay outta the gladiator arena if youre a 98 pound pussy.