How does a sub male find a dom couple?

[IsoDomCouple]

I am a sub married male that can't stop thinking about pleasing a dom couple, how can i make this happen, are "they" out there or is this a pipe dream?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I am a sub married male that can't stop thinking about pleasing a dom couple, how can i make this happen, are "they" out there or is this a pipe dream?

They *are* out there, but there are some things you should take into consideration before you go very far down the road to finding them.

• Have you discussed this fantasy with your wife? Or were you hoping you could get involved in a situation such as this without her knowledge or consent?
• Are you submissive or slave to your wife? If so, would getting into this type of situation be a violation of your understanding with her?
• Have you ever been involved in any BDSM activities? Or did you read a story or see a video that got you all hot and bothered, and you suddenly "need" to do this to fulfill yourself?

The above are just a few questions you need to ask yourself before you go off the rails and make unilateral changes in your life, and hers.

I also see from your profile listing of threads started that you're also interested in getting involved in a cuckold situation, but are afraid to even raise the subject with your wife, so I have a feeling that these are parts of a series of fantasies that have just come up, and you haven't really considered what could - or would - happen to your relationship and your life as a result of following through on them. You need to do some research - check out our Library as part of that - and some serious thinking about the likely results of following through.

If, once you've done that research and carefully weighed your options and what effect following these fantasies may have, you decide you still want to follow this path, then you might want to visit the BDSM and other Personals fora, open an account at Fetlife, and have at it.

Good luck.

 

[IsoDomCouple]

My wife doesn't know that I want to be a sub with her and most importantly another man in our bed room. I think about it all the time and don't know how to bring it up to her.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

My wife doesn't know that I want to be a sub with her and most importantly another man in our bed room. I think about it all the time and don't know how to bring it up to her.

Honest communication is one of the most important factors that hold successful relationships together. You need to find a way to talk to her about your needs and desires, unless you *want* either your marriage to go down the tubes or to be unhappy for the rest of your life.

 

[Netzach]

Or unless you want to have an affair and the whole world doesn't necessarily come crashing down on your head like in Hollywood, and no one dies in flames and nothing extraordinary happens.

I think the "why this is a bad idea" column is pretty well investigated. I hope. Maybe people ARE really that stupid, and not simply that sexually desperate.

I'm assuming OP has probably thought this through, and has reached the "I'm comfortable with this level of shitheelness". Maybe his wife sucks. I have no idea. I have no inherent moral answers for this person, only to point out that most horny guys skills in discretion basically are crap and most get caught. If you can't handle the consequences and don't know how to prevent them, you have no business as a playa.

Sure, there are Dominant/Dominant people out there who would get off with a married guy NSA style. This isn't rocket science.

What I do know is that you need to do latex due diligence with everyone you do anything with, and own your decisions if you get caught.

 

[subwannabe]

What's the worst thing that could happen if you bring this up with your wife?

What's the worst thing that could happen if you do this behind your wife's back and she finds out, which she eventually will?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am a sub married male that can't stop thinking about pleasing a dom couple, how can i make this happen, are "they" out there or is this a pipe dream?

In what way do you want to please a Dom couple? I know most have assumed it involves sex and cheating on your wife, but it can also be something which does not involve sex and still be submission and satisfying for all involved. We have sessioned with male subs without having sex, and it has worked. Of course, it might not be enough for you, but maybe worth thinking about if it is not what you were already looking for. That being said, I would suggest giving serious thought to discussing it with your wife first before moving forward.

Catalina

 

[njlauren]

My wife doesn't know that I want to be a sub with her and most importantly another man in our bed room. I think about it all the time and don't know how to bring it up to her.

There is a scene in the movie "1776" where Stephen Hopkins, the delegate from Rhode Island, agrees they should debate the resolution on independence, and he says that "there is nothing out there so dangerous, so horrible, that you can't talk about it".

You have a perfect opportunity to open the door with your wife, with 'that book about a number 10 after 40 and 10 before 60 concerning a color older women often shudder at' all the rage in the media, it may provide the perfect opening. "Hey, hun, I was reading about this book "X" , and it sounds like some sort o phenomenon, what do you think about it", and see if she bites, if she doesn't know, explain a little about what it is about, specifically the BD/SM stuff, D/s, whatever, and see what she thinks of it. One of the things that is sad is I think a lot of us assume things about our mates that isn't true, I was just as guilty, I think I finally got through with her when I explained BD/SM isn't about pain, pain is stubbing your toe in the middle of the night going to the head or a 4 year old toddler hitting you in the family Jewels, BD/SM is sensation tweaking...........We assume, they assume, and you know what happens when you assume.....

Speaking in my own life, with the woman I love, it is hysterical, she has been reading a lot of these 'adult romance' books out there (some of which are quite good), and she is asking me about things like "Have you ever heard of ben wa balls" or "have you ever heard of people in a MMF threesome where the two guys also are into each other" and I am like dying hearing that come from her, it is both cute and hysterical because I never would have expected her to talk about things like that, and the way she brings it up is kind of cute, too, because she thinks I would be either weirded out or like 'huh?'......

Ya might just be surprised, and I think it would be better then seeking an outside couple at this point. It could be she isn't' interested, but would be okay with it if the outside relationship didn't include sex, you don't know. Speaking only for myself, you prob could find such a couple through fetlife or collarme, but I would suggest finding that out in your own relationship. As far as the cuckold part goes, that one is more problematic, even if your wife finds out she likes being your domme, she may have no interest in cuck play, that is the more problematic IMO.