The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Noor]

You get a brand new garden rake.

I put in a $2 bill.

and you the man/woman of your dreams

I put in some rose colored glasses

 

[Handley_Page]

and you the man/woman of your dreams

I put in some rose colored glasses

The Roses are infested with Greenfly.



I put in some garden chairs

 

[Noor]

The Roses are infested with Greenfly.



I put in some garden chairs

and we sit by the canal and watch the fish jump.

I put in some soap for the roses

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and we sit by the canal and watch the fish jump.

I put in some soap for the roses

and your flowers are clean right down to the attar.

I put in a stamen...

 

[desertslave]

and your flowers are clean right down to the attar.

I put in a stamen...

And pull out a pistol (I'm sorry, that was just too irresistible).

I put in a weed whacker

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And pull out a pistol (I'm sorry, that was just too irresistible).

I put in a weed whacker

and you get a warning from Laurel that Botanality is just as bad as Bestiality; keep your whacking to humans or humanoids!

I put in the company of a good right hand...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a warning from Laurel that Botanality is just as bad as Bestiality; keep your whacking to humans or humanoids!

I put in the company of a good right hand...

but the rest of her is not quite so good.


I put in a Crumpet

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the rest of her is not quite so good.


I put in a Crumpet

and you get a strumpet with a trumpet.

I put in a scone...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a strumpet with a trumpet.

I put in a scone...

but the flour was infected with rust.


I put in an Aspirin

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the flour was infected with rust.


I put in an Aspirin

and you get a headache.

I put in some Algerian herbs for the head...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a headache.

I put in some Algerian herbs for the head...

and suffer a broken leg trying to kiss the sky.


I put in a Devon Minnow lure.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and suffer a broken leg trying to kiss the sky.


I put in a Devon Minnow lure.

and you attract a creamy little fish.

I put in Newton Minnow...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you attract a creamy little fish.

I put in Newton Minnow...

and get Private Pike



I put in an ARP uniform

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and get Private Pike



I put in an ARP uniform

and you get a free membership in the AARP.

I put in a membership voucher for the CARP...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a free membership in the AARP.

I put in a membership voucher for the CARP...

with a 20lb mono line attached.


I put in a small flood.

 

[loquere]

I like smarties!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

with a 20lb mono line attached.


I put in a small flood.

and you get a kitchen full of Sticklebacks.

I put in a package of Jeremy Fisher's sticking plasters...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a kitchen full of Sticklebacks.

I put in a package of Jeremy Fisher's sticking plasters...

they're all stuck up.



I put in a new headset/microphone

 

[Tio_Narratore]

they're all stuck up.



I put in a new headset/microphone

and you realize that you're talking to yourself.

I put in a bipolar battery...

 

[Hubs_in_hose]

and you realize that you're talking to yourself.

I put in a bipolar battery...

and you get a flashlight that requires double D cells


I put in a bottle of Fine Rum

 

[Miss_Vivi]

and you get a flashlight that requires double D cells


I put in a bottle of Fine Rum

And get a drunk pirate.

I put in a sea chanty.

 

[Handley_Page]

And get a drunk pirate.

I put in a sea chanty.

It's out of tune (probably due to being drunk)


I put in a collection of Sea Shanties

 

[stickygirl]

It's out of tune (probably due to being drunk)


I put in a collection of Sea Shanties

But the howling wind drowned them out

I put in travel sickness pills

 

[Handley_Page]

But the howling wind drowned them out

I put in travel sickness pills

but they don't work when walking . . .


I put in a pair of old hiking boots

 

[desertslave]

And you get transported to the Appalachian Trail.

I put in a new rucksack.