Switchy woman

[cricketmuse]

So I'm new to the whole BDSM scene and at my first munch last weekend I met an older Dom man and a sub woman with whom I hit it off. I've been in touch with the both over the week and he was also talking with her.

Now here's the thing. While I got into the scene to try to experiment with my submissive side, I've found that I have a more emotional and physical connection with the sub woman and I'm definitely the more dominant between the two of us. Today I went out with the Dom and I had my first session. He bruised my ass and while I didn't have a problem with it, I was also not as involved as I thought I would be. Since the woman was meeting him later, I called to let her know I was okay (she was concerned since it was my first time) and I felt more of a thrill talking with her on the phone for 20 minutes than I did with the Dom all day.

I know not everyone is right for each other and you have to search to find the right fit, but am feeling doubts about wanting to find a new Dom who fits me better and taking the sub with me. I really like her and am also dealing with the fact that I don't want to hurt her, especially since I'm inexperienced with being dominant in the lifestyle (I can be awfully dominant in life). She's already stated that she'd follow me, but is it fair to drag her to a different Dominant I want for me or is it possible to keep the relationships separate if she's not interested? Has anyone dealt with the kind of pressure of finding a Dominant who suits you as well as the sub that's with you?

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Does she feel good about this dom herself?

And yes-- it is possible to keep relationships separate. Maybe better.

 

[cricketmuse]

I'll know more after she's spent the evening with him, but based on her phone call I'd say she sounded relieved that I wasn't that into him. I told her to have fun and to keep an open mind and that we can work through whatever happens, that I want her to be happy even if it's not the right fit for me.

The problem is that neither of us expected the connection we have and that we've both been looking for a more dominant man. I'm afraid of suggesting we both look for that individually and making her feel insecure or hurt.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, women tend to do that with each other anyway, right?

If you play with another woman, you might find the same thing happening.

But if you want to explore with her maybe you two should concentrate on each other for a while.

If the right man comes along, that will be icing on the cake.

 

[cricketmuse]

You're right, as always, Stella.

I will stop fretting and focus on the positive.

 

[DommeKeri]

You said she "sounded relieved that you werent that into him" Was that because she was jealous of you with her dominant, or that she wanted you for herself?

 

[cricketmuse]

Given that she told me before that she'd follow me if she had to choose between us and her inquiry if I sounded so giddy on the phone because of him or her, I would assume she wants me for herself. I could be wrong, I guess we have to talk more. But she said that she was thinking about me all day and glad that I had called her.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You're right, as always, Stella.

I will stop fretting and focus on the positive.

Personally, I'm a bit envious!

 

[cricketmuse]

I don't know why, Stella. I'm stressing out!

 

[HerPeach]

Personally...... I think you have NOTHING to stress about

It will all work out in the end. I know it will.

 

[KoPilot]

Couldn't help myself.

Raven crops and bruised hips
Skin roses under fingertips
Obeyed commands in the night
If you play both ways you'll be alright
Oooo hoo switchy woman
See how fast she complies
Oooo hoo switchy woman
She got your face 'tween her thighs
She holds you spellbound on the bed
Hands bound and ass so red
On her knees in another room
She loves to dance to a another's tune
Oooo hoo switchy woman
See how fast she complies
Oooo hoo switchy woman
She got your face 'tween her thighs
Well I know you want a domme
Let me tell you son, she's got a girl
She's bossin' around
You bet there's talking 'bout how she ain't "true"
Or don't belong to any crew
But she'll still rock you from your feet
Or maybe treat you like her piece of meat
Oooo hoo switchy woman
See how fast she complies
Oooo hoo switchy woman
She got your face 'tween her thighs

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, for shame.

 

[cricketmuse]

LOL, love, love, love that KoPilot!

 

[KoPilot]

Anyways, carry on...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Anyways, carry on...

No, really-- did you come up with that? I want to hear it now. And see the video on Youtube.

 

[KoPilot]

No, really-- did you come up with that? I want to hear it now. And see the video on Youtube.

Yeah I do that sometimes. I get earworms pretty bad, especially since I'm a veritable itunes library of music and lyrics.

And hey, I totally nominate you to make this music video.

 

[Beverly1]

Much appreciated