What's in a name

[litfan10]

slave_ and I were in PetSmart in the Fancy Feast aisle when it dawned on us how wrong the labeling was.

"Chopped Tuna and Mackeral" "Chicken Florentine in delicate sauce with greens" "Savory salmon" etc....

These names bring up images of a happy family, the beautiful house slave in a skimpy apron opening the can, the aroma wafting from the can causing the two cute furballs to hop with unbridled joy until the bowls are placed before them and they plunge their head in, indeed feasting on fancy food.

BUT NO............................

reality paints a different picture and really....really....the cans should be named to reflect this. We think the following are much, much more appropriate names:

"Bitch, please."

"But you ate it last night."

"Oh, you did not just give me that look."

"Starving Kitties in Ethiopia would LOVE the food in that bowl."

"Don't you walk away without even at least giving it a sniff."

"But a second ago you were meowing like you hadn't been fed in a week."

"Really...?"

"What do you think, I just open these cans for fun?"

feel free to add more. I have to go a clean out a bunch of half eaten cat food bowls.....

 

[mynameisben]

When I used to have a cat, it would only eat Fancy Feast. But if she even suspected I bought it on sale she would turn her nose up at it and starve to death until I replaced it with cans I bought it at full price.

 

[litfan10]

When I used to have a cat, it would only eat Fancy Feast. But if she even suspected I bought it on sale she would turn her nose up at it and starve to death until I replaced it with cans I bought it at full price.

True! I feel I need to keep the receipt to get it approved by the two bitc....er darlings!

Thanks for the laugh Ben!

 

[PennLady]

"Fine. Eat it or don't, I don't care."

"This is dinner. Take it or leave it."

"No, I will not open another can."

"If you want the expensive stuff, buy it yourself."

Come to think of it, I should say this stuff to my kids regarding dinner.

 

[mynameisben]

"Fine. Eat it or don't, I don't care."

"This is dinner. Take it or leave it."

"No, I will not open another can."

"If you want the expensive stuff, buy it yourself."

Come to think of it, I should say this stuff to my kids regarding dinner.

As long as you set their bowls on the table, not on the floor.

 

[lovecraft68]

slave_ and I were in PetSmart in the Fancy Feast aisle when it dawned on us how wrong the labeling was.

"Chopped Tuna and Mackeral" "Chicken Florentine in delicate sauce with greens" "Savory salmon" etc....

These names bring up images of a happy family, the beautiful house slave in a skimpy apron opening the can, the aroma wafting from the can causing the two cute furballs to hop with unbridled joy until the bowls are placed before them and they plunge their head in, indeed feasting on fancy food.

BUT NO............................

reality paints a different picture and really....really....the cans should be named to reflect this. We think the following are much, much more appropriate names:

"Bitch, please."

"But you ate it last night."

"Oh, you did not just give me that look."

"Starving Kitties in Ethiopia would LOVE the food in that bowl."

"Don't you walk away without even at least giving it a sniff."

"But a second ago you were meowing like you hadn't been fed in a week."

"Really...?"

"What do you think, I just open these cans for fun?"

feel free to add more. I have to go a clean out a bunch of half eaten cat food bowls.....

Which is when you go dom on the little pussy's. You put them in a damn cat carrier and they don't get out until they eat it.

Anyway I hate cats to begin with. My wife has two and I stress they are hers. Thing is I think they know I hate them and keep coming around me. But I notice only when my wife is around, like they know I won't toss them out the window when she's there. When she is not home, they are strangely absent from my presence.

Smart little fuckers.

 

[slave_]

1/2 eaten?! Try 'a few not even touched'! Big Fluff Powderpuff, sniffed, then walked away. She went to another spot, and here am I, silly me, thinking she wants me to put it in front of her... so I do. She ignores the bowl and proceeds to clean herself. When finished she stands and proceeds to 'mark' each quadrant of the bowl with her paw pads... which I must say are exploding with tufts of fur, with a few 'rice grain' nails hidden within.

'IssueKkitty', the one with health issues, was laying on our bed when I brought her a bowl. She ate and then laid down happy.

Big Fluff had to come on the bed, sniff 'issue kitty's' bowl and then proceed to mark that one, on the blanket, with her paw pads.

Oy!

Mind you, Big Fluff is scary intelligent! There was one other kitty I knew that was as smart. She is silky soft and stunningly gorgeous!

Issue Kitty is beyond adorable! She has had a rough life before being rescued and you can see that bleed through here and there.

I love them both so very much and I do nothing less than spoil them rotten for the precious time we have them in our lives!

 

[litfan10]

Which is when you go dom on the little pussy's. You put them in a damn cat carrier and they don't get out until they eat it.

Anyway I hate cats to begin with. My wife has two and I stress they are hers. Thing is I think they know I hate them and keep coming around me. But I notice only when my wife is around, like they know I won't toss them out the window when she's there. When she is not home, they are strangely absent from my presence.

Smart little fuckers.

They are "smart little fuckers," they pegged slave_ as a slave instantly and set right to a life of demands.

 

[litfan10]

As long as you set their bowls on the table, not on the floor.

Have you seen Fancy Feast Appetizers? Damn things often look better than my food!

 

[litfan10]

"Fine. Eat it or don't, I don't care."

"This is dinner. Take it or leave it."

"No, I will not open another can."

"If you want the expensive stuff, buy it yourself."

Come to think of it, I should say this stuff to my kids regarding dinner.

heh... I was hearing these as a parent too.....

Nice additions!

 

[Handley_Page]

A Dog has a Master.

A Cat has a carer /Servant.

You do not own a cat. It lets you look after it.

 

[litfan10]

A Dog has a Master.

A Cat has a carer /Servant.

You do not own a cat. It lets you look after it.

very true!

 

[slave_]

A Dog has a Master.

A Cat has a carer /Servant.

You do not own a cat. It lets you look after it.

LOL.

My cousin who has had dogs since she was young, and has one now, took in stray kittens.

She said she loves how a dog's love is unconditional, but she appreciates her relationship with her cats more because the love and respect are EARNED.

 

[PennLady]

We used to have a cat when I was younger. I remember once he sat on a chair that my dad wanted to use. So Dad, being a nice guy, picked the cat up and put him on the sofa. Before Dad could get to the chair, the cat was back. Dad did it again (he is a nice guy, like I said), and once more the cat zipped back. Dad went to the chair, picked the cat up, tossed him lightly in the general direction of the sofa, and sat down.

Dad 1, Cat 0.

 

[lovecraft68]

I always describe the difference between a cat and a dog like this.

If an intruder was to break into your house, a dog would give its life to protect you.

The fucking cat would rub up against his leg and hope to get fed.

 

[litfan10]

I always describe the difference between a cat and a dog like this.

If an intruder was to break into your house, a dog would give its life to protect you.

The fucking cat would rub up against his leg and hope to get fed.

Don't forget the cat would show the thief where the best silverware was first as that is the only proper way to dish up his/her food.

 

[Laid71]

While dog's may have a master... they do sure like to check the pecking order most days

 

[TE999]

"If I can eat, pussy, so can you."

or

"If I can eat pussy, so can you."

Funny how one comma changes things.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Only beta males own cats.

 

[glynndah]

We used to have a cat when I was younger. I remember once he sat on a chair that my dad wanted to use. So Dad, being a nice guy, picked the cat up and put him on the sofa. Before Dad could get to the chair, the cat was back. Dad did it again (he is a nice guy, like I said), and once more the cat zipped back. Dad went to the chair, picked the cat up, tossed him lightly in the general direction of the sofa, and sat down.

Dad 1, Cat 0.

You obviously do not know how to properly score those sorts of encounters. It is Cat 3; Dad 1.

Our cats will only eat the kind of cat food with lots of juice or gravy. Okay, they mostly just lap up the liquid, but occasionally they'll deign to nibble around the edges. Canned cat food didn't used to be labeled as such, so consequently, I'd have to shake the cans close to my ear at the grocery store to figure out the acceptable varieties. I have often encountered other shoppers doing the exact same thing.

 

[estragon]

Said the cat: "The ancient Egyptians thought we were gods. They got that right!"

 

[Boxlicker101]

You obviously do not know how to properly score those sorts of encounters. It is Cat 3; Dad 1.

Our cats will only eat the kind of cat food with lots of juice or gravy. Okay, they mostly just lap up the liquid, but occasionally they'll deign to nibble around the edges. Canned cat food didn't used to be labeled as such, so consequently, I'd have to shake the cans close to my ear at the grocery store to figure out the acceptable varieties. I have often encountered other shoppers doing the exact same thing.

You mean you had cats who would deign to eat canned food, rather than insisting on fresh liver and fish and chicken?

 

[topace]

Cats are cool, and felines in general seem to like me for some reason. When I come home from work in the afternoons, the neighborhood cat always lets me pet it before it walks off. For some reason, it seems to like my bike shed.

I won't deny it - I prefer them over dogs anyday. You can train a cat to use a litterbox. You always have to take a dog outside to prevent a mess.

 

[glynndah]

You mean you had cats who would deign to eat canned food, rather than insisting on fresh liver and fish and chicken?

My cats do not eat anything that doesn't have a picture of a cat on the label.

 

[The_Young_Swell]

My cats do not eat anything that doesn't have a picture of a cat on the label.

"Yes, but is your cat food made from real cats?" I asked, channeling Wednesday Addams.

Fizzgig is supposed to get tinned food once a day, and I leave some dry food out in a dish beside his water bowl. But he uses the dry food as a dinner bell, rattling it around in his bowl until I get irritated enough to open his real food.

And thank you JimmyB, on the Internet, a beta male is one who is evolving, not rapidly becoming obsolete.