Wife with a Stranger

[wheezer51]

My wife gets really horny when we talk about someone watching us have sex. I can tell it arouses her when her pussy gets all soaked and she makes me watch her stroke herself to climax. I'm totally turned on by watching her and am starting to think that it would be a turn on to watch her have sex with someone else. I think it turns her on but she is too shy to admit it. Any advice?

 

[Eilan]

Unfortunately, you can't get, make, or convince your wife to do something that she isn't comfortable doing. Having sex with someone else has to be something that she wants to do, not something that you want her to do. I'm all about being GGG, within reason, and I think that bringing others into a relationship is something that one half of the couple should have veto power over.

I think that women are particularly reluctant to share their fantasies with their partners because they either get judged for having certain fantasies or they get hounded about making the fantasy come true. Just because something is a really hot, orgasm-inducing fantasy doesn't mean that it would be equally as hot in reality, nor does it mean that the person who has the fantasy even wants to make it come true. Fantasies are safe ways of exploring desires.

If you ever do get to the point where the two of you decide to make the fantasy come true, then I'd recommend not going the stranger route for safety reasons. I'm not saying you should look for someone you know who's willing to "help," but I think you should get to know the person (meet for coffee in a public place, for example) outside of the bedroom first.

 

[wheezer51]

I would never pressure her into doing something she is uncomfortable with doing for real. She gets absolutely soaked when I start talking about it in bed, but doesn't open up a lot about how she feels herself. I can't tell if she really likes the idea, but is too afraid to admit it out of fear of making me feel bad, or it is just a heat of the moment thing that she, too, fantasizes about with no intention of actually going there. It's an odd fantasy. She looks so hot when we're having sex that I'm turned on by the idea of just sitting back and watching her enjoy having sex without worrying about me.

 

[amofiga]

I would never pressure her into doing something she is uncomfortable with doing for real. She gets absolutely soaked when I start talking about it in bed, but doesn't open up a lot about how she feels herself. I can't tell if she really likes the idea, but is too afraid to admit it out of fear of making me feel bad, or it is just a heat of the moment thing that she, too, fantasizes about with no intention of actually going there. It's an odd fantasy. She looks so hot when we're having sex that I'm turned on by the idea of just sitting back and watching her enjoy having sex without worrying about me.

You sort of answered your own questions by saying "I'm turned on by the idea of sitting back and watching her." The real question is if "SHE" is turned on by the idea of you watching her. As someone else said, it's tough to get people to really admit their deepest fantasies to those they are closest to (spouses, committed live-in's). They feel at risk because they don't want it thrown back at them negatively.

I remember a documentary I once saw about "Sandstone" a swinger community back in the '70's. (not sure if it still exists) A guy basically begged his wife to go to the place with him even though she initially didn't want to. Then they got there and she loved it, and was fucking every guy in the place, at which point he was begging her to leave. He was actually asking the guy who ran the place to tell guys to stop having so much sex with his wife. It was a 180 degree turn around. He wanted to go to have sex with other women but when his wife was having a blast having sex with everybody, he freaked. Be careful what you wish for.

 

[wheezer51]

She is definitely turned on by me watching her masturbate. She loves to have me sit in a chair and watch her do herself with a dildo. When I bring up how much of a turn on it would be to have her screw someone else with abandon while I watch, she always responds physically-even wildly. She just doesn't say much. I'm thinking of having her read some of the erotic stories posted here and see how she responds. Who else out there has some experience with this?

 

[SweetErika]

Instead of dancing around the issue with stories and such, why not just ask her if it's something she's considered doing, or if it's more of a fantasy or heat-of-the-moment type of thing? You could certainly say the idea of watching her do things with someone else intrigues you and ask her to let you know if she'd ever like to talk about exploring it more in real life. Then it'll all be out on the table and it'll be totally up to her whether she'd like to delve into the reality or not.

 

[wheezer51]

I think I have been direct with telling her what I like. And she certainly enjoys the talk in the heat of things in the bedroom. It's a little harder to have a candid discussion at the dinner table and tell my wife that I'd like watch her have sex with another man. I keep hoping that if she enjoys it enough in the bedroom that she will bring up the idea if she really wants to pursue it. But it's probably not any easier for a woman to tell her husband that she wants to have sex with another man and have her husband watch. I'd like to hear what some of you have to say from both sides of this issue. Women, what do you think? Is this fantasy to far out to really act on? Men, do you think you could handle your wife having and thoroughly enjoying sex with another man while you watched?

 

[Joseph28]

very nice!

 

[wheezer51]

Instead of dancing around the issue with stories and such, why not just ask her if it's something she's considered doing, or if it's more of a fantasy or heat-of-the-moment type of thing? You could certainly say the idea of watching her do things with someone else intrigues you and ask her to let you know if she'd ever like to talk about exploring it more in real life. Then it'll all be out on the table and it'll be totally up to her whether she'd like to delve into the reality or not.

SweetErika,
I think you I'm going to follow your advice when I get home from work tonight. I'm going to let my wife know that this isn't just my fantasy. It's something I'd like for real. Then I'll ask her to be perfectly honest about how she feels. If she feels the same way, then we'll go from there. If not, then I'll know for sure. Thanks for your advice.

 

[roomfor1more]

The starting point for you is understanding there is a difference between pillow talk during foreplay and the cold hard reality discussion. When the two of you are in the heat-of-the-moment the idea might turn her on, a lot but after sex it maybe something that repulses her. It is important that you begin a dialogue with her about the idea and see where it goes. If it goes good then you might begin taking steps to make it real. Should you venture down to make it real then take the time to discuss feelings, what ifs / risks, and boundaries. Taking time to prepare and work through the issues will mean a lower probability of something going wrong.

In the event the two of you get to the point of selecting someone it is important to find someone who is compatible with the two of you and someone who is willing to follow the rules. Selecting a friend or co-worker, at the time might seem like a good idea due to their availability; however, they may cause more problems than if you choose someone unknown. Therefore, your selection needs to be based on someone who is compatible not convienant.

 

[roomfor1more]

I think I have been direct with telling her what I like. And she certainly enjoys the talk in the heat of things in the bedroom. It's a little harder to have a candid discussion at the dinner table and tell my wife that I'd like watch her have sex with another man. I keep hoping that if she enjoys it enough in the bedroom that she will bring up the idea if she really wants to pursue it. But it's probably not any easier for a woman to tell her husband that she wants to have sex with another man and have her husband watch. I'd like to hear what some of you have to say from both sides of this issue. Women, what do you think? Is this fantasy to far out to really act on? Men, do you think you could handle your wife having and thoroughly enjoying sex with another man while you watched?

We have done a few threesomes before and I can say it is not the easiest thing to watch. Watching another guy fuck your wife can make you feel insecure and if you are not secure in your relationship with her then it can create problems in the relationship. You need to trust her, be ready for a cornucopia of feelings, and be prepared that she might enjoy it too. Nonetheless it can be one of the most erotic things ever but you need to work through the feelings before making any firm decisions. Therefore after it happens, it is a good idea to talk it thorugh and work through any feelings it may have created.

 

[SweetErika]

SweetErika,
I think you I'm going to follow your advice when I get home from work tonight. I'm going to let my wife know that this isn't just my fantasy. It's something I'd like for real. Then I'll ask her to be perfectly honest about how she feels. If she feels the same way, then we'll go from there. If not, then I'll know for sure. Thanks for your advice.

I think that's the best way to gain clarity, although I'd suggest considering your phrasing carefully because it IS a charged topic for most people.

Also realize that acting on the fantasy doesn't have to be acting out the exact fantasy, and suggest this to your wife. What I mean by that is there's a lot of room for different scenarios and compromise in this situation. Roomfor1more is absolutely right: involving someone else in your sex/marriage is fraught with potential problems for everyone. Therefore, it might be wise to start slow/mild and give the illusion of acting out the fantasy. For instance, some couples start by going out and flirting or dancing with another person. A step beyond that could be some kissing and/or sexual touching with someone else while the other spouse watches. Things like fooling around and oral sex without any actual genital-genital contact or intercourse could be yet another intermediate step (and that one could be a happier medium because it limits STI and pregnancy risk, which are huge concerns for many couples).

So, talk and propose ideas that take elements from your fantasy without totally acting it out or putting anyone's comfort at high risk. You could say something like, "Honey, I'm not quite sure why, but the idea of seeing you enjoy another person in reality totally turns me on, and I'd love to hear your honest thoughts on it. I get that it's something that has a bunch of potential outcomes, and I don't know how I'd actually feel in the moment if we were to act it out, so maybe we could figure out a compromise or intermediate activity that's super safe and arousing for both of us? What are you thinking and feeling?"

Best of luck to you, and let us know how it turns out!

 

[Lewisdb]

SweetErika,
I think you I'm going to follow your advice when I get home from work tonight. I'm going to let my wife know that this isn't just my fantasy. It's something I'd like for real. Then I'll ask her to be perfectly honest about how she feels. If she feels the same way, then we'll go from there. If not, then I'll know for sure. Thanks for your advice.

Be VERY careful before starting something you can't undo!

Not saying you both won't love the whole experience but friends of mine started down this road and lived to regret it!

Why not start by having someone there while you guys get it on? If she likes that then take it from there!

P.S If you need any volunteers just ask lol

 

[wheezer51]

I think that's the best way to gain clarity, although I'd suggest considering your phrasing carefully because it IS a charged topic for most people.

Also realize that acting on the fantasy doesn't have to be acting out the exact fantasy, and suggest this to your wife. What I mean by that is there's a lot of room for different scenarios and compromise in this situation. Roomfor1more is absolutely right: involving someone else in your sex/marriage is fraught with potential problems for everyone. Therefore, it might be wise to start slow/mild and give the illusion of acting out the fantasy. For instance, some couples start by going out and flirting or dancing with another person. A step beyond that could be some kissing and/or sexual touching with someone else while the other spouse watches. Things like fooling around and oral sex without any actual genital-genital contact or intercourse could be yet another intermediate step (and that one could be a happier medium because it limits STI and pregnancy risk, which are huge concerns for many couples).

So, talk and propose ideas that take elements from your fantasy without totally acting it out or putting anyone's comfort at high risk. You could say something like, "Honey, I'm not quite sure why, but the idea of seeing you enjoy another person in reality totally turns me on, and I'd love to hear your honest thoughts on it. I get that it's something that has a bunch of potential outcomes, and I don't know how I'd actually feel in the moment if we were to act it out, so maybe we could figure out a compromise or intermediate activity that's super safe and arousing for both of us? What are you thinking and feeling?"

Best of luck to you, and let us know how it turns out!

Well, that didn't work out quite the way I expected. I sat down with my wife and talked to her along the lines that you suggested. It turns out that she has wanted to do this for quite some time. She was afraid to suggest it, though, because she didn't want to hurt me. I assured her that I wanted this too. We talked about some different scenarios and how they might play out. Both of us agreed that if either of is uncomfortable at any point in where this is going, we can call it off. My wife asked for three things: it can't be with someone we know; she wants it to be in our own bed; and she only wants me to watch. She doesn't want it ending as a threesome. I'm okay with all of this. We'll see where it goes from here.

 

[roomfor1more]

Be VERY careful before starting something you can't undo!

Not saying you both won't love the whole experience but friends of mine started down this road and lived to regret it!

Why not start by having someone there while you guys get it on? If she likes that then take it from there!

P.S If you need any volunteers just ask lol

Though I understand the point Lewisdb is making, nonetheless, I disagree with it. I do not believe you will be starting down a road of something you cannot undo, unless you act impulsively and act without talking about it. If the two of you talk it through by understanding what it will entail, accept the risks, and set relationship boundaries, such as it will be a mutual decision, then I do not believe it will be something you will regret. My feeling by talking about the two of you will either have a threesome that works for you or decide, as a couple, it is not in your best interest to have one. Thereby minimizing the chance of a bad decision being made and minimizing the chance of starting something that will be regretted later.

The final point I disagree with is the point regarding having someone there while you have sex to watch? While I understand this is being presented as a possible solution, soft-swinging poses some of its own problems. Typical issues beyond the possibility of feeling uncomfortable include: boundaries being crossed, being left unsatisfied, and creating the expectation that a full threesome will happen. I am not saying these issues will happen in your situation but I feel should she be open to the idea, the two of you need to find a way that works for you.

 

[wheezer51]

Now that my wife is ready and willing to move forward with this, any suggestions on how to find the right person. We live in a college town. Every club is full of young hot men hoping to get laid. She is turned on by the idea of going clubbing by herself and bringing someone home for me to watch. I trust her judgement but maybe there are better ways the first time?

 

[bailadora]

Even if this is going to be a one time thing for you and your wife, I'd recommend reading Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino.

At one point, my husband and I considered opening our marriage and while we ultimately decided against it, I feel like this book gave us a lot of insight on things we didn't even know to ask/consider.

 

[roomfor1more]

Now that my wife is ready and willing to move forward with this, any suggestions on how to find the right person. We live in a college town. Every club is full of young hot men hoping to get laid. She is turned on by the idea of going clubbing by herself and bringing someone home for me to watch. I trust her judgement but maybe there are better ways the first time?

Having your wife go to a club by herself and then bring someone home is a "mixed bag." The starting has to be the guy is aware that you will be there and is aware of the boundaries for the encounter.

An advantage if she picks someone will be she feels attracted to and comfortable enough to bring home. This might help her to be less apprehensive and might make her more responsive to his advances. Thereby, making it less likely she will say no or back out at the last moment.

Another possible advantage will be it will be with someone who does not have regular contact with her thereby making ending it easier which will help with keeping the relationship together.

With that said there are several drawbacks to this approach with one of the drawbacks being he may not be compatible with you. Compatibility is a big issue and if he is not compatible then it may create a lot of issues that will seep into the evening. Furthermore depending on the degree to which incompatibility exists, it could mean issues like fighting or hurt feelings develop thereby ruining a great experience.

Another issue, will be trust. Before she goes off to find someone it will be necessary to establish boundaries about contact between the two of them after it happens. This can be a situation where it turns into a quasi-cuckold whereby you push her towards him thereby destroying your marriage.

Final issue I feel is the risk of STDs and pregnancy. Along as safe sex is practiced then this should be mitigated.

Overall, I fee, this is a situation that has a lot of risk especially if it is done impulsively without much thought. My own feeling to address the issue of compatibility, I feel, the two of you should agree that both of you have a veto over the invited person that can be exercised at anytime and can be exercised without retribution from the other. By doing this you can help ensure that if there is any issues the event can be stopped. Also, I feel the two of you should define boundaries including relationship and define repeated contacted. Finally I feel, should you go through with this then you need to come to terms about watching your wife having sex with someone else and your feelings about it. It is something that may not be easy for you and the more you explore those feeling then the greater the chance this has for success. Simply put communicate about this and continue to communicate after it occurs.

 

[roomfor1more]

Even if this is going to be a one time thing for you and your wife, I'd recommend reading Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino.

At one point, my husband and I considered opening our marriage and while we ultimately decided against it, I feel like this book gave us a lot of insight on things we didn't even know to ask/consider.

My own feeling the book may not be all that helpful but I do feel it might give you some insights into what you are planning to undertake. The reason I say this, I do not believe you are describing an open relationship but a one off situaiton. Furthermore I believe there are fundamental differences between a one-off and a lifestyle choice like an open relationship, which the book addresses. My feeling, the difference lies in the ability to sustain a lifestyle choice versus having the necessary communication skills to allow a relationship to survive a one-off sexual encounter, that is mutually agreed, with someone outside of the relationship.

 

[wheezer51]

Having your wife go to a club by herself and then bring someone home is a "mixed bag." The starting has to be the guy is aware that you will be there and is aware of the boundaries for the encounter.

An advantage if she picks someone will be she feels attracted to and comfortable enough to bring home. This might help her to be less apprehensive and might make her more responsive to his advances. Thereby, making it less likely she will say no or back out at the last moment.

Another possible advantage will be it will be with someone who does not have regular contact with her thereby making ending it easier which will help with keeping the relationship together.

With that said there are several drawbacks to this approach with one of the drawbacks being he may not be compatible with you. Compatibility is a big issue and if he is not compatible then it may create a lot of issues that will seep into the evening. Furthermore depending on the degree to which incompatibility exists, it could mean issues like fighting or hurt feelings develop thereby ruining a great experience.

Another issue, will be trust. Before she goes off to find someone it will be necessary to establish boundaries about contact between the two of them after it happens. This can be a situation where it turns into a quasi-cuckold whereby you push her towards him thereby destroying your marriage.

Final issue I feel is the risk of STDs and pregnancy. Along as safe sex is practiced then this should be mitigated.

Overall, I fee, this is a situation that has a lot of risk especially if it is done impulsively without much thought. My own feeling to address the issue of compatibility, I feel, the two of you should agree that both of you have a veto over the invited person that can be exercised at anytime and can be exercised without retribution from the other. By doing this you can help ensure that if there is any issues the event can be stopped. Also, I feel the two of you should define boundaries including relationship and define repeated contacted. Finally I feel, should you go through with this then you need to come to terms about watching your wife having sex with someone else and your feelings about it. It is something that may not be easy for you and the more you explore those feeling then the greater the chance this has for success. Simply put communicate about this and continue to communicate after it occurs.

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure there is any way that this can be 100% risk free. We've talked through various scenarios and laid out boundaries. Both of us are comfortable with what we've discussed and know that either of us have the right to stop this at any time. My wife is going to be very clear with whoever she chooses that if he wants to have sex with her, then it's going to be with me watching. I'm not sure how many guys will be willing to go ahead with this once they know what they're getting in to.

In terms of compatability, I'm not really sure how to gauge the compatability of someone you are watching have sex with your wife. We're looking at this as a one off event. If we like it, we may decide to go this route again in the future. We're not looking, however, to completely open our relationship. I guess there is some risk that my wife enjoys this so much that she forms an attachment to the guy. She's not looking for a relationship, though. She wants the excitement of having sex with someone else while I watch; and I'm looking for her to enjoy totally enjoy the sexual experience without any restraints.

Tonight is Friday and my wife is hoping it happens tonight. The whole day looks like it is going to be very exciting as we anticipate tonight's events.

 

[amofiga]

I'm certainly not an expert on this stuff. I've only had one threesome in my life, and that wasn't with my wife. I have to admit that intellictually, the thougth of threesomes with my wife are a turn on, but the idea of her simply getting it on with a stranger while I just watch doesn't. That would leave me in the cuckold position. Sharing and being part of a "tag team" is ok for me, but not just being left to stew while she has it on. How willing is your wife to let you bring home a woman to have sex with while she watches? The fact that she just wants to be the "taker" and not a giver would bother me.

You say that if you didn't like the guy she would back off but suppose he's some hot head with a few drinks in him from the club and decides he doesn't like to be teased and thrown out the door? Maybe a fight?

When I had my threesome, it was with a woman and another guy she was also "dating". We talked as a group first and then the guy and I met for a beer together. It turned out we were pretty compatible with the threesome relationship that lasted for a few months was friendly, compatible, and fun. I'd like the idea of my wife having MMF and FFM threesomes with friends with whom I was compatible and who knew the rules and boundaries. However, I personally would be put off by just being the observer with her and guys I wasn't sure about or perceived as any sort of threat. Insecurities can pop out when you don't expect them. But that's just me. Good luck with this and keep us posted. It looks like this could be another Ron and Leigh thread all over again.

 

[bailadora]

My own feeling the book may not be all that helpful but I do feel it might give you some insights into what you are planning to undertake. The reason I say this, I do not believe you are describing an open relationship but a one off situaiton. Furthermore I believe there are fundamental differences between a one-off and a lifestyle choice like an open relationship, which the book addresses. My feeling, the difference lies in the ability to sustain a lifestyle choice versus having the necessary communication skills to allow a relationship to survive a one-off sexual encounter, that is mutually agreed, with someone outside of the relationship.

The part about sustaining an open relationship may not be applicable, true. But the parts that talk about the possible emotional pitfalls and ways to cope/deal with them are definitely valid.

I'm all for consenting adults doing whatever floats their boats, but I also think sometimes people get in such a rush to fulfill a fantasy once they get the green light from their SO that important things might get overlooked. Intellectually, it's easy to say "In case of X, then we'll do Y." But emotions aren't logical. And you know what they say about the best laid plans. I forget which board it was on, but there was a guy a few months back who gave his wife permission to hook up with an ex. He was all for it and thought he had it all under control until he found out she liked it a little too much. His ego took a pounding, he got his BVD's in a twist and then he wanted to divorce her ass. And if IRC, his wife being with another man had previously been one of HIS fantasies.

All I'm saying is that IMO, this is something that should not be undertaken lightly or hastily.

 

[roomfor1more]

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure there is any way that this can be 100% risk free. We've talked through various scenarios and laid out boundaries. Both of us are comfortable with what we've discussed and know that either of us have the right to stop this at any time. My wife is going to be very clear with whoever she chooses that if he wants to have sex with her, then it's going to be with me watching. I'm not sure how many guys will be willing to go ahead with this once they know what they're getting in to.

In terms of compatibility, I'm not really sure how to gauge the compatibility of someone you are watching have sex with your wife. We're looking at this as a one-off event. If we like it, we may decide to go this route again in the future. We're not looking, however, to completely open our relationship. I guess there is some risk that my wife enjoys this so much that she forms an attachment to the guy. She's not looking for a relationship, though. She wants the excitement of having sex with someone else while I watch; and I'm looking for her to enjoy totally enjoy the sexual experience without any restraints.

Tonight is Friday and my wife is hoping it happens tonight. The whole day looks like it is going to be very exciting as we anticipate tonight's events.

I think you will find that she will have a good pool of guys interested in the sceanrio and I thought I would try to clarify some points made.

Nothing in life is 100% risk free, even walking across the street or getting out of bed involves risk. In our daily lives we do things to minimize risk such as looking both ways to cross the street and keeping area around the bed free of things that could cause us to fall. It does not mean an unexpected speeding car will not hit us when crossing the street nor does it mean we will not trip over a shoe that we thought would be out-of-the-way.

The point I am trying to make is this type of scenario involves risk like everything else in life, potentially big risks to your relationship, but like everything this risk can be minimized. Minimizing the risk is not the same as eliminating it. Instead it means you can reduce the risk the a manageable level without completely eliminating it. A possible example of how to minimize the risk would be having a one-off situaiton thereby minimize the risk that she will form an attachment to the guy. Just like looking both ways, one way to minimize the risk is communicating about it instead of rushing into it or agreeing it will be a one-off situaton with any guy instead of allowing her meet him again.

I agree with you it is difficult to judge comptabtibilty. For this type of encounter compatibility means you are comfortable with them and you do not feel as though they are a threat to you. It also means they understand your limits and accept them. In some sense it means the three of you are able to get a long at some level and you are comfortable enough to communicate. Without some level of comfort, compatibility, then discussing boundaries and having an enjoyable experience becomes less likely.

In another sense compatibility means they show respect for your wife you, and your relationship with your wife. This means they understand their role and accept it. Essentially they are willing to work with the both of you to fulfill a fantasy of hers.

I guess, the opposite of compatibility would be a predator, someone who has no respect for your relationship. It could be someone who makes you feel uncomfortable with them and feeling that you do not want to use your veto because you want your wife to be happy. Instead of saying something, you allow it to happen and it leaves you feeling bad after it happens. Essentially because they were not compatible it blocked your ability to communicate that turned an enjoyable experience that led to regret afterwards.

In conclusion, I feel, the challenge for you will be finding someone that will be compataible with the two of you and that will provide the both of you with a great time. Furthermore I feel you understand the risk involved and want to minimize it; however, you are allowing the thrill of it happening to impact your decision making. My hope this will turn out to be a great experience for the both of you but I do see of the potential pitfalls too.

I wish the two of the best and hope it goes great for the two of you on Friday.

 

[Eilan]

I'm all for consenting adults doing whatever floats their boats, but I also think sometimes people get in such a rush to fulfill a fantasy once they get the green light from their SO that important things might get overlooked. Intellectually, it's easy to say "In case of X, then we'll do Y." But emotions aren't logical. And you know what they say about the best laid plans. I forget which board it was on, but there was a guy a few months back who gave his wife permission to hook up with an ex. He was all for it and thought he had it all under control until he found out she liked it a little too much. His ego took a pounding, he got his BVD's in a twist and then he wanted to divorce her ass. And if IRC, his wife being with another man had previously been one of HIS fantasies.

That thread was on the Fetish Forum, but I can't find it right now.

Locally, we know of a woman (through my husband's job) who, at her boyfriend's request, agreed to a threesome with him and another woman. When the girl-girl action started, the boyfriend couldn't handle it (!!) and he ended the encounter--and the relationship--right then and there. He also attempted to use the threesome as leverage to get custody of their child.

ETA: I discovered during our brief foray into MFM threesomes a few years ago that I have a really difficult time separating sex and love because I'd never had sex with someone I didn't love. Although the experiences were fun, I don't regret them, and I still think the fantasy is hot as hell, I much prefer sex within a loving relationship. Other people's mileage may vary, obviously.

 

[silverwhisper]

wheezer, i take it the mrs hasn't found an acceptable partner?

i've been in a few threesomes and cannot agree more with the cautionary advice you've received.

ed