Editor for a Consensual Story about a Mom Needed

[TheRiseFromAshes]

Hello all:

So I believe that I've finished writing a story that I've heavily editted over a long span of months (wrote the beginning nearly a year ago) and I would like to seek help with the story.

It is titled "Laptop Surprise" and it is about a young man (past tense first person narrative) discovering that her (formerly sexually conservative) mom had been caught on video, primarily fucking two men on camera. All the info was accidentally stumbled upon on her laptop.

Sometimes it is gentle and sometimes it is a little more rough, but she likes it. She also landed herself some pictures on a porn website.

It doesn't (as of yet) involve any incest elements but I was thinking about breaking the story up (in such a way where the reader can actively MAKE a decision to go certain routes). For example, I wanted to write a seperate section for incest lovers and for people that just (strangely) like the fact that mom had been fucking around like a slut even though she acted so innocently and so ANAL (no pun intended - actually no, pun intended) about sex in the past. Furthermore, I would not really mind adding a rape/forced element too. This seems kind of fun for the reader.

It is a fairly lengthy, descriptive type story with detailed accounts of sex. However, I would like help improving the story in any way at all, content or grammar wise. I would like to eventually submit this to Literotica permanently in the near future.

This is the first time that I've asked for an editor here and it won't be my last. Anyone want to help me?


Thanks in advance!




- TRFA

 

[Narcissus]

Hello all:

So I believe that I've finished writing a story that I've heavily editted over a long span of months (wrote the beginning nearly a year ago) and I would like to seek help with the story.

It is titled "Laptop Surprise" and it is about a young man (past tense first person narrative) discovering that her (formerly sexually conservative) mom had been caught on video, primarily fucking two men on camera. All the info was accidentally stumbled upon on her laptop.

Sometimes it is gentle and sometimes it is a little more rough, but she likes it. She also landed herself some pictures on a porn website.

It doesn't (as of yet) involve any incest elements but I was thinking about breaking the story up (in such a way where the reader can actively MAKE a decision to go certain routes). For example, I wanted to write a seperate section for incest lovers and for people that just (strangely) like the fact that mom had been fucking around like a slut even though she acted so innocently and so ANAL (no pun intended - actually no, pun intended) about sex in the past. Furthermore, I would not really mind adding a rape/forced element too. This seems kind of fun for the reader.

It is a fairly lengthy, descriptive type story with detailed accounts of sex. However, I would like help improving the story in any way at all, content or grammar wise. I would like to eventually submit this to Literotica permanently in the near future.

This is the first time that I've asked for an editor here and it won't be my last. Anyone want to help me?


Thanks in advance!




- TRFA

I think I can help you. Grammatically anyway. If you want help with other things as well I am also available. Turn on your PM settings please.

 

[_Lynn_]

And the directions, borrowed from snooper:

Go to User CP (top left of this page) then click on Edit Options (in the left hand column) and then tick Enable Private Messaging in the second box down. Make sure that the next box down (Receive Private Messages only from Buddies and Moderators) is NOT ticked. Finally click Save Changes at the bottom of that page.

 

[TheRiseFromAshes]

Hi Pussyjuicelover:

Thanks for the prompt reply to my thread! That would be great if you can have a look at it

I have turned on my PM settings according to MistressLynn (sorry I didn't know that it was turned off by default)

Thanks Mistress for showing me how to enable the PM system!