Fifty Shades of Grey
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lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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Of course we're calling it vanilla because we write porn and many here have a hell of a lot more experience than the people reading Shades.
Besides if it went too hardcore it would lose its "mainstream" appeal and just be "porn"
To the target audience Some light bondage at the hands of a good looking wealthy guy is a turn on to the "Mommies"
I wonder what the housewife brigade would think of this.
“Oh, damn,” she whispered.
To say she had seen her share of cocks over the years would be an understatement, but the one in front of her right now was easily the biggest. It was huge, long and thick, damn thick. She wrapped her hand around it. Her fingernails barely touched, and it occurred to her that this thing could hurt.
Noticing the look on her face, he smirked. “What’s the matter? Been playing with the boys so long you forget what a real one looks like?”
“My Master is very impressive,” She licked her lips slowly. Then, remembering her part, said, “It would be my pleasure if my…”
“Oh, just shut up and suck it,” he snapped, grabbing the back of her head and shoving her face forward.
She opened her mouth and took it about halfway down. He let her head go as she started sucking him in and out, as far as she dared. She wasn’t sure if she could take him all the way. As it was, her mouth was full and there was plenty of him left. She kept her eyes turned down as she blew him.
After a couple of minutes, he sighed, “That's better.”
At that, she looked up, making a little noise in her throat, thanking him for his approval. It was the wrong move.
“That wasn’t a compliment, you fucking slut!” he said. “It’s just better than listening to your talking. Now stop playing and suck it, you know? Like you know what you’re doing?”
She put her eyes back down, and, picking up the pace, also started stroking with her hand. After a couple of minutes, she began to wonder if he was even close to cumming.
Then he said, “You’re fucking pathetic. Do I need to do this myself?”
Reaching down, he roughly grabbed the back of her head and, holding it still, started fucking her mouth. She opened wider to take more of him, but he was pushing too deep. Afraid she was going to gag, she put her hands on his hips to try to stop him. Another wrong move. He let go of her head. This time, her nipples didn’t just get a pinch but a vicious twist that would have caused her to yell had her mouth not been stuffed with his cock.
“How dare you touch me!”
He grabbed her wrists and, pinning them in one of his hands, he wrapped the leash around them several times. Then he pulled up, holding her arms over her head with one hand. With the other, he grabbed a handful of her hair close to her scalp, causing more pain. He tipped her head back while putting one of his legs up on the bed, forcing his huge prick down her throat at a deeper angle. He then shoved it all the way down.
With her head at that angle and her mouth stretched to the limit, she was being forced to take him to the limit. He was fucking fast and hard, to the point she could feel her eyes watering, all the while holding her arms up so high, her shoulders were starting to hurt.
Oh god, please just cum!
“Look at you, you fucking pig!” he sneered, “on the floor, getting face-fucked and loving it. Don’t let the boys do this, do you?”
She stared up at him through her watery eyes and tried to shake her head to answer.
“Did I tell you to fucking move?”
She shook her head again. Oh fuck! she thought as soon as she had done it. Tricked at her own goddamn game.
“Proud and disobedient,” Mark said, letting go of the back of her head. “Fine then, pay the price.”
He pinched her nose shut.
She froze. Her eyes bulged. Was he kidding?
To make it worse, he started fucking her mouth again.
It’s a scare tactic, she told herself, but he had caught her before she could take a breath, and she was already starting to panic.
“Look at me!” he snapped.
She turned her eyes up to him again. She had no doubt she looked scared. He looked into her eyes, smiling coldly. She couldn’t breathe; she heard a high pitched whine and realized it was her, whimpering. Her blood rushed to her head and her vision blurred. She tried to say ‘cease’ around his cock, but couldn’t.
He felt her try to speak, though, and, letting her nose go, he also released her arms and pulled his cock from her mouth. “What was that?” he asked his smile widening.
She fell forward onto her hands and knees, gasping. That’s enough! Nothing was worth this bullshit! He could have made her pass out or worse. She looked up with every intention of saying the word, then telling him to go fuck himself.
But then she saw the expectant smirk on his face.
“Were you trying to tell me something, whore?” he asked.
She stared at him, feeling her anger rise. Fuck him. Taking another couple of breaths, she looked him in the eye and spoke. “I was simply trying to thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson, Master.”
He gave a slight nod, as if approving of her decision to continue. Reaching down, he un-wrapped the leash from her wrists and unhooked it from the collar. Then, grabbing her by her shoulders, he pulled her up to her feet.
But don't worry ladies, Mark is not only good looking, but has money as well, so fantasize about that.
Besides if it went too hardcore it would lose its "mainstream" appeal and just be "porn"
To the target audience Some light bondage at the hands of a good looking wealthy guy is a turn on to the "Mommies"
I wonder what the housewife brigade would think of this.
“Oh, damn,” she whispered.
To say she had seen her share of cocks over the years would be an understatement, but the one in front of her right now was easily the biggest. It was huge, long and thick, damn thick. She wrapped her hand around it. Her fingernails barely touched, and it occurred to her that this thing could hurt.
Noticing the look on her face, he smirked. “What’s the matter? Been playing with the boys so long you forget what a real one looks like?”
“My Master is very impressive,” She licked her lips slowly. Then, remembering her part, said, “It would be my pleasure if my…”
“Oh, just shut up and suck it,” he snapped, grabbing the back of her head and shoving her face forward.
She opened her mouth and took it about halfway down. He let her head go as she started sucking him in and out, as far as she dared. She wasn’t sure if she could take him all the way. As it was, her mouth was full and there was plenty of him left. She kept her eyes turned down as she blew him.
After a couple of minutes, he sighed, “That's better.”
At that, she looked up, making a little noise in her throat, thanking him for his approval. It was the wrong move.
“That wasn’t a compliment, you fucking slut!” he said. “It’s just better than listening to your talking. Now stop playing and suck it, you know? Like you know what you’re doing?”
She put her eyes back down, and, picking up the pace, also started stroking with her hand. After a couple of minutes, she began to wonder if he was even close to cumming.
Then he said, “You’re fucking pathetic. Do I need to do this myself?”
Reaching down, he roughly grabbed the back of her head and, holding it still, started fucking her mouth. She opened wider to take more of him, but he was pushing too deep. Afraid she was going to gag, she put her hands on his hips to try to stop him. Another wrong move. He let go of her head. This time, her nipples didn’t just get a pinch but a vicious twist that would have caused her to yell had her mouth not been stuffed with his cock.
“How dare you touch me!”
He grabbed her wrists and, pinning them in one of his hands, he wrapped the leash around them several times. Then he pulled up, holding her arms over her head with one hand. With the other, he grabbed a handful of her hair close to her scalp, causing more pain. He tipped her head back while putting one of his legs up on the bed, forcing his huge prick down her throat at a deeper angle. He then shoved it all the way down.
With her head at that angle and her mouth stretched to the limit, she was being forced to take him to the limit. He was fucking fast and hard, to the point she could feel her eyes watering, all the while holding her arms up so high, her shoulders were starting to hurt.
Oh god, please just cum!
“Look at you, you fucking pig!” he sneered, “on the floor, getting face-fucked and loving it. Don’t let the boys do this, do you?”
She stared up at him through her watery eyes and tried to shake her head to answer.
“Did I tell you to fucking move?”
She shook her head again. Oh fuck! she thought as soon as she had done it. Tricked at her own goddamn game.
“Proud and disobedient,” Mark said, letting go of the back of her head. “Fine then, pay the price.”
He pinched her nose shut.
She froze. Her eyes bulged. Was he kidding?
To make it worse, he started fucking her mouth again.
It’s a scare tactic, she told herself, but he had caught her before she could take a breath, and she was already starting to panic.
“Look at me!” he snapped.
She turned her eyes up to him again. She had no doubt she looked scared. He looked into her eyes, smiling coldly. She couldn’t breathe; she heard a high pitched whine and realized it was her, whimpering. Her blood rushed to her head and her vision blurred. She tried to say ‘cease’ around his cock, but couldn’t.
He felt her try to speak, though, and, letting her nose go, he also released her arms and pulled his cock from her mouth. “What was that?” he asked his smile widening.
She fell forward onto her hands and knees, gasping. That’s enough! Nothing was worth this bullshit! He could have made her pass out or worse. She looked up with every intention of saying the word, then telling him to go fuck himself.
But then she saw the expectant smirk on his face.
“Were you trying to tell me something, whore?” he asked.
She stared at him, feeling her anger rise. Fuck him. Taking another couple of breaths, she looked him in the eye and spoke. “I was simply trying to thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson, Master.”
He gave a slight nod, as if approving of her decision to continue. Reaching down, he un-wrapped the leash from her wrists and unhooked it from the collar. Then, grabbing her by her shoulders, he pulled her up to her feet.
But don't worry ladies, Mark is not only good looking, but has money as well, so fantasize about that.
Selena_Kitt
Disappearing
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I read all three of them. Yeah, yeah, I took one for the team. Call it research. 
I agree with what most of you have said. It reads like re-vamped (pun intended ha
) fanfiction, is in serious need of an editor, the characters are so VERY clearly the Twilight gang it's almost jarring to me, and the sex? *yawn* I never would have thought bdsm could have been written that vanilla. Ana doesn't refer to a "pussy" once - not even in reference to a cat. It's always "down there." I think "penis" is mentioned a few times.
The thing that strikes me... have you guys seen interviews with this woman, EL James? She's an admitted Twi-hard and claimed these novels were her "mid-life crisis." I find it kind of sad, this fifty-something woman reading adolescent fiction, and then liking it so much, obsessing about it really (she admitted as much) that she couldn't let it go and had to go write fanfiction about it. Three books' worth!
She built up a HUGE fan base because of the fanfic, and when the books were published, of course they pushed it to the top of the erotica lists on Amazon. Change the names and voila! Instant millions. Of course, when the numbers got high enough, they switched the category from "erotica" to "romance."
But in the interviews I've seen, this woman ACTS adolescent. She's like a thirteen-year-old when someone asks her about the sex in her book. She giggles and turns red and actually hides her face! Lady, you WROTE it - you could at least try to talk intelligently about it!?
I was kind of shocked by her attitude.
I agree with what most of you have said. It reads like re-vamped (pun intended ha
) fanfiction, is in serious need of an editor, the characters are so VERY clearly the Twilight gang it's almost jarring to me, and the sex? *yawn* I never would have thought bdsm could have been written that vanilla. Ana doesn't refer to a "pussy" once - not even in reference to a cat. It's always "down there." I think "penis" is mentioned a few times. The thing that strikes me... have you guys seen interviews with this woman, EL James? She's an admitted Twi-hard and claimed these novels were her "mid-life crisis." I find it kind of sad, this fifty-something woman reading adolescent fiction, and then liking it so much, obsessing about it really (she admitted as much) that she couldn't let it go and had to go write fanfiction about it. Three books' worth!
She built up a HUGE fan base because of the fanfic, and when the books were published, of course they pushed it to the top of the erotica lists on Amazon. Change the names and voila! Instant millions. Of course, when the numbers got high enough, they switched the category from "erotica" to "romance."
But in the interviews I've seen, this woman ACTS adolescent. She's like a thirteen-year-old when someone asks her about the sex in her book. She giggles and turns red and actually hides her face! Lady, you WROTE it - you could at least try to talk intelligently about it!?
I was kind of shocked by her attitude.
RjThoughts
I'm The Rojodi!
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I read all three of them. Yeah, yeah, I took one for the team. Call it research.
I agree with what most of you have said. It reads like re-vamped (pun intended ha
The thing that strikes me... have you guys seen interviews with this woman, EL James? She's an admitted Twi-hard and claimed these novels were her "mid-life crisis." I find it kind of sad, this fifty-something woman reading adolescent fiction, and then liking it so much, obsessing about it really (she admitted as much) that she couldn't let it go and had to go write fanfiction about it. Three books' worth!
She built up a HUGE fan base because of the fanfic, and when the books were published, of course they pushed it to the top of the erotica lists on Amazon. Change the names and voila! Instant millions. Of course, when the numbers got high enough, they switched the category from "erotica" to "romance."
But in the interviews I've seen, this woman ACTS adolescent. She's like a thirteen-year-old when someone asks her about the sex in her book. She giggles and turns red and actually hides her face! Lady, you WROTE it - you could at least try to talk intelligently about it!?
I was kind of shocked by her attitude.
Thanks for the hit, Selena!!
With the success of the series, will this lead to other thinly-veiled fanfic erotica? Are they going to be "Harry Potter as adult" adult novels? Some "Avengers" BDSM?
BuckyDuckman
Literotica Guru
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I read all three of them. Yeah, yeah, I took one for the team. Call it research.
I second the kudo's for "taking one for the team." And I might I add - damn, you read FAST! (LMAO!)
This describes why I don't even try to write romances. If I ever include the phrase "his turgid tool" in my writing, someone please flame me, okay? Even what my wife claims are "explicit" romances don't come close. >sigh< (Oh, I highlighted your words as potential cover blurbs. LOL!)
I get the "ick" factor there. Not trying to elevate her, but I did hear Maurice Sendak say he never intended to write "children's books." That's just where they got placed.
But in the interviews I've seen, this woman ACTS adolescent. She's like a thirteen-year-old when someone asks her about the sex in her book. She giggles and turns red and actually hides her face! Lady, you WROTE it - you could at least try to talk intelligently about it!?
I was kind of shocked by her attitude.
Wonder if she's catering to her audience? Just a thought.
One final question - anything else you're willing to take for the team?
(Bad BD. BAD!)
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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Well, they might not come close for YOU-- or possibly for me either-- but there's your wife sitting on a towel, and who are we to argue?
I've read the first one, and my kindle nearly went flying across the room when he cocked his head yet again, or she bit her lip, or looked down at her hands, or her inner goddess...
From about half way through I was keeping count of those and kinda skipping over the 'sexy' bits.
It's clearly written for a certain market, and they like the books and would buy another 3 if they were ever to be written. One is more than enough for me, and I really couldn't care less if Ana 'fixes' Mr Gray, or if he ever gets to play out his kink's on her.
As a friend that liked the books has said to me - "It would be a boring world if we all liked the same style or writing."
From about half way through I was keeping count of those and kinda skipping over the 'sexy' bits.
It's clearly written for a certain market, and they like the books and would buy another 3 if they were ever to be written. One is more than enough for me, and I really couldn't care less if Ana 'fixes' Mr Gray, or if he ever gets to play out his kink's on her.
As a friend that liked the books has said to me - "It would be a boring world if we all liked the same style or writing."
BuckyDuckman
Literotica Guru
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LOL, true - Though, for the record, I'm more than happy to "help her out." she has a drawer full of toys. Additionally, she's free to "phone a friend" for either in-call or out-call service. And, between reading material from me, others, Penthouse Forum, etc., - she knows erotica when she sees it. She just happens to like romances, including the really boring - um - tame ones where no sex happens before marriage and when it does, it stops at kissing. Go figure.
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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Did you write an Amazon review? I read one that gave account of how many times he cocked his head and someone smiled etc...
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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Seeing Selena's post reminded me that both my wife and sister cited the "down there"
Now this of course is just a GP thing, but any Dom worth his damn salt would make this girl repeatedly say the word "pussy" or "cunt" make her look him in the eye and do it, make her approach people in a club and say it....
Sigh, to much to ask for some realistic characteristics. Some bad boy he is.
Now this of course is just a GP thing, but any Dom worth his damn salt would make this girl repeatedly say the word "pussy" or "cunt" make her look him in the eye and do it, make her approach people in a club and say it....
Sigh, to much to ask for some realistic characteristics. Some bad boy he is.
No I haven't. I got bored counting too
I really don't think the reviews on Amazon will change anything, word of mouth is selling this book from what I can tell.
I can only imagine how much the film with gross opening night!
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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No I haven't. I got bored counting too
I really don't think the reviews on Amazon will change anything, word of mouth is selling this book from what I can tell.
I can only imagine how much the film with gross opening night!
Glad you used the word gross.
I want to puke every time I hear this mentioned it is going to be 10 times as bad with the Movie.
What will be worse is if they plan on it being a trilogy.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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I have to agree with this one!
Ellafun
Just Visiting This Planet
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Just wanted to chime in that I am almost finished the first book. And hate the style of writing, hate the whole eff'd up version of the author's D/s dynamic, and particularly objected to the virgin girl being able to happily deep throat Mr. Big the first time she went down on him (which she thought was "face fucking." Hmmph.). Funny how I remember my first time being a whole more awkward than that....
ANYWAY...I have to finish the damn book now, because I started it, and I feel obligated. It's like the book is...controlling me somehow. *snerk
Harold Robbins. 'Goodbye, Janette.' First time I can ever remember getting so aroused while reading a book that I had to put it down for personal reasons before continuing to read. If y'all know what I mean.
ANYWAY...I have to finish the damn book now, because I started it, and I feel obligated. It's like the book is...controlling me somehow. *snerk
Harold Robbins. 'Goodbye, Janette.' First time I can ever remember getting so aroused while reading a book that I had to put it down for personal reasons before continuing to read. If y'all know what I mean.
TxRad
Dirty Old Man
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My plot bunny sensor keeps yelling "50 Shades of Gay"
It might save the world and a lot of bleeding eyeballs.
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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My plot bunny sensor keeps yelling "50 Shades of Gay"
It might save the world and a lot of bleeding eyeballs.
LOL! I've been calling it that since day one.
And even more than that I am going to have to look for Mad Magazines parody of it which I'm sure will be pretty good.
I can just see Alfred E in the dog collar.
Sigh. 44 and I still read Mad.
What me worry?
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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Tell me about it, the first BJ I got my girlfriend scraped the shit out of me with her teeth and I was beginning to wonder why people thought BJ's were so good.
But what the hell we were %^% years old and looking back on it I would have worried if she had been a pro.
Kurokami
An Erotic A.I
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Oh, let's not forget how a woman in her twenties barely knew what masturbation was, and had never done it. Or how Grey just has all the sex, all the time; like, twice in a ten minute period. Or the constant fascination with condoms, and lately with Ana's period. It's inexplicable.
And don't get me started on all that inner goddess bullshit...
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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I doubt this woman did any research into BDSM at all, and does not seem to have any knowledge of sex in general. Apparently she is her own target audience.
I think Gray would wet himself in pretty much any BDSM story released on this site on a daily basis.
I think Gray would wet himself in pretty much any BDSM story released on this site on a daily basis.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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I left Mad readership when it tried to do a parody of "Animal house" and failed utterly to create anything even one tenth as funny as the original.
But it turned out there was only the one set of Second City comedians who were capable of a tour de force like that. I'm sure Mad has plenty of scope these days.
Kurokami
An Erotic A.I
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Should I be ashamed that, in a fit of frustration, I began work on a Fifty Shades fanfic in which Gray and Ana actually do meet a dom from a Lit story?
It doesn't end well for them...
Selena_Kitt
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My plot bunny sensor keeps yelling "50 Shades of Gay"
It might save the world and a lot of bleeding eyeballs.
It's been done.
http://img2.imagesbn.com/images/173010000/173014992.JPG
Twice.
http://img2.imagesbn.com/images/168170000/168173750.JPG
Someone suggesting a drinking game where you take a shot every time Ana bit her lip, consulted her inner goddess, said "oh my," or "oh shit," mentioned Christian's grey eyes or the way his pants hung off his hips in "that way."
I'd be drunk by page two...
voluptuary_manque
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It makes me feel better already, not having read any of them and having no intent to do so.
THROBBS
I am Fauve
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Much thanks to Selena_Kitt, Laid71, Ellafun & Kurokami
for their reviews!
I will only read this if it happens to be given to me for free.
I am a disappointed that it sounds SO bad.
I would love to see (and we still might) in my lifetime *Ack* *cof*....or the next generation's a surge...a pulsing...A THROBBING... a GUSHING FORTH! of really good erotica!
YESSSSSssssssss!
whew! I need a nap.
for their reviews!
I will only read this if it happens to be given to me for free.
I am a disappointed that it sounds SO bad.
I would love to see (and we still might) in my lifetime *Ack* *cof*....or the next generation's a surge...a pulsing...A THROBBING... a GUSHING FORTH! of really good erotica!
YESSSSSssssssss!
whew! I need a nap.
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