do you believe in marriage?

[crotch_cricket]

1 partner for life.

interpret the question how you will, but i'm hoping for some degree of specificity.

 

[Image]

I do, personally.

But I don't believe that humans are naturally monogamous. Two thousand years of (patriarchal) conditioning has it fairly well imprinted on us and culture has dictated it; but it's not instinctual in my opinion...

 

[bronzeage]

I've seen it done.

 

[islandman]

1 partner for life.

interpret the question how you will, but i'm hoping for some degree of specificity.

Interpreting your interpretation makes for a nonsensical answer.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I do, personally.

But I don't believe that humans are naturally monogamous. Two thousand years of (patriarchal) conditioning has it fairly well imprinted on us and culture has dictated it; but it's not instinctual in my opinion...

Exactly. Jesus invented marriage and before that everyone just lived in a big ole happy commune

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

1 partner for life.

interpret the question how you will, but i'm hoping for some degree of specificity.

On a biological level, no....I don't think humans are a very monogamous species. In fact all my life I have seen nothing but evidence to the contrary. Sure there are some couples that happily spend their lives together....but that's very much the exception not the rule.

On a societal level...it does have it's place in that it is a form of structure, which is a good thing.

However personally, I view marriage as just a fancy legal document that says "If we split...I get all your shit, and then some." and well.....fuck that.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

Yes I do. I have never expected nor demanded that being married to one woman for life be an ultimatum of sorts. I have never entered any relationship thinking it could be for life. I do however, expect my mate to fully understand that I am loyal to them for life once I have made it both verbally, physically, and emotionally clear. I do indeed have a problem with commitment to one person based upon experience and observation; though that commitment is based soley upon trust and not exposing either of our vulnerabilities for all the world to see. I equally believe in mutual respect for each other and maintaining the friendship that you value in each other.

 

[KRCummings]

Marriage is wonderful and generally a good thing for civilization as a whole but people jump into it too quick. Take your time, have fun, find the right person. Divorce rates are high partly because too many kids get married and realize they missed out. Don't do that.

 

[KRCummings]

On a biological level, no....I don't think humans are a very monogamous species. In fact all my life I have seen nothing but evidence to the contrary. Sure there are some couples that happily spend their lives together....but that's very much the exception not the rule.

On a societal level...it does have it's place in that it is a form of structure, which is a good thing.

However personally, I view marriage as just a fancy legal document that says "If we split...I get all your shit, and then some." and well.....fuck that.

Worldwide the divorce rate is right around 50% give or take. That makes it neither the exception nor the rule.

 

[KRCummings]

Exactly. Jesus invented marriage and before that everyone just lived in a big ole happy commune

She's a pagan so, well there ya go.

 

[TallMan69]

I think vows have gotten vaguer as well. One sees sticking together as long as our love for each other exists. People don't enter it with the same level of commitment they once did. Also no fault divoce means you don't even have to have grounds for a divorce so it's good that there are community property states like California to protect the kids when daddy or mommy sees a hot young thing that they'd rather go live with and abandon the family. Lots of sociological changes over the last 50 years. So yes, it's still possible to stay married for a lifetime the dice are stacked against it occurring unless one chooses wisely and invests the time, energies and love into the relationship to make it last. And even then sometimes it's not enough.

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

Worldwide the divorce rate is right around 50% give or take. That makes it neither the exception nor the rule.

I said happily.

Yes 50% of the people are stuck with each other and how many of them fucking hate each others guts and live miserably because they can't divorce for whatever economic/legal/social reasons but if otherwise given the chance would haul ass the first chance they got?

Either way...in the US it's still just a legal document that shays she owns all my shit.

 

[richard_daily]

It believe that it exists...

but it's not necessarily a good idea.

 

[KRCummings]

I said happily.

Yes 50% of the people are stuck with each other and how many of them fucking hate each others guts and live miserably because they can't divorce for whatever economic/legal/social reasons but if otherwise given the chance would haul ass the first chance they got?

Either way...in the US it's still just a legal document that shays she owns all my shit.

Yeah, that's not the least bit cynical. Holy shit.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

I believe in marriage as long as it is polygamous.

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

Yeah, that's not the least bit cynical. Holy shit.

Maybe....but I learned fast! Only took one dry buttfucking from our legal system to learn not to ever do it again.

 

[yevkassem72]

I do, personally.

But I don't believe that humans are naturally monogamous. Two thousand years of (patriarchal) conditioning has it fairly well imprinted on us and culture has dictated it; but it's not instinctual in my opinion...

Funny, there are plenty of patriarchs and egalitarians as well as matriarchal types who oppose monogamy. But you're right that it isn't natural. It certainly didn't last for me.

 

[CandiCame]

I think that some people need monogamous relationships because they feel more secure that way. I don't think that they deserve special legal standing because they couldn't make it through life alone, in an open relationship, with multiple partners, or in any other lifestyle that isn't legally sanctioned. I think that marriage, as it is currently defined has reached the point of uselessness, because we have DNA testing now, and you don't need someone legally roped to you for things like child custody and making people accountable for the children they helped create. I think that as a society we put far to much emphasis on a system that obviously doesn't work, and perpetuates a lot of depression when people fall into the serial monogamy pattern- the most common relationship system in the states, they feel like a failure even though there's nothing 'failed' by bailing on a relationship that isn't working. I think that the concept of marriage does far more harm then good.

 

[KRCummings]

I think that some people need monogamous relationships because they feel more secure that way. I don't think that they deserve special legal standing because they couldn't make it through life alone, in an open relationship, with multiple partners, or in any other lifestyle that isn't legally sanctioned. I think that marriage, as it is currently defined has reached the point of uselessness, because we have DNA testing now, and you don't need someone legally roped to you for things like child custody and making people accountable for the children they helped create. I think that as a society we put far to much emphasis on a system that obviously doesn't work, and perpetuates a lot of depression when people fall into the serial monogamy pattern- the most common relationship system in the states, they feel like a failure even though there's nothing 'failed' by bailing on a relationship that isn't working. I think that the concept of marriage does far more harm then good.

Yep, insecurity and legal standing with children, that's the only reason anyone gets married.

 

[LillyO]

serial monogamy pattern- the most common relationship system in the states.

What the hell is serial monogamy?

 

[KRCummings]

What the hell is serial monogamy?

It's just having one monogamous relationship after another. Apparently that's bad, I guess.

 

[LillyO]

It's just having one monogamous relationship after another. Apparently that's bad, I guess.

Oh okays, never heard it described that way before. Yes God forbid one has a series of stable monogamous relationships I can't imagine the hell that must be.

 

[bronzeage]

It's just having one monogamous relationship after another. Apparently that's bad, I guess.

It's not for sissies and pantie waists. You seem them in here all the time, complaining about what a bad deal they got and don't have a clue how pathetic they sound to the rest of the world.

 

[CandiCame]

Oh okays, never heard it described that way before. Yes God forbid one has a series of stable monogamous relationships I can't imagine the hell that must be.

That's what it's called in sociology studies.

I never said it was bad. I said it was the most common type of relationships in the states, via sociology. There's nothing good or bad about it. I'm a serial monogamous. What's bad is trying to tell people that it's bad, which is what the institution of marriage does. It tries to get you to stay with someone once the infatuation stage has passed rather then moving on. And that's detrimental for a whole host of reasons, things like depression for not being able to 'make the marriage work' and an increase in spousal abuse, because there are folk out there who would rather stay in an abusive relationship then 'fail' at marriage.

 

[satindesire]

I think it's a bit of an exaggeration to say monogamy isn't natural. For SOME people it isn't, and for some people it is. To say it isn't for ANYONE...EVER! is just silly.

Yes, I believe in marriage. I think anyone who wants to get married, they should, and I have no issues with it at all. Hell, I lived with my now-husband for several years and considered him my husband -in my heart and mind- way before we signed the papers. Marriage isn't just a legal binding, it's also a state of mind.